Ranting about nothing very interesting. Showing 451-500 of 1,390

[David]

Someone asked me what was my favourite word. I looked at my novel, and discovered it was 'the'. Although it's only 6.6 % of the words overall, it's 40 % of the words in the title, so on this basis I have decided to copyright 'the'. In order to avoid the hassle of re-writing your works in Yorkshire dialect, I cordially invite you all to purchase a license to use 'the', which I will generously make available on reasonable and non-discriminatory terms.

Do you think there's any chance I might get away with this?

[Jim]

who do I sent the cheque to or do you take paypal ;-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

You'll have to get in touch with The The!

[David]

Gingerlily wrote: You'll have to get in touch with The The!

You're right. I'd forgotten about them and hadn't noticed that they're gigging again, but not only are they 100 % 'the', against my mere 40 %, they can rightfully claim Prior Art :(.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Darn it - there's always something standing in the way of fabulous riches :(

[Desley (Cat fosterer)]

Enjoyed this weeks blog, glad your dad is more himself, good trick on the carers part, they sound really good.

[Patti (baconater)]

My mom always sez if there's such a thing as reincarnation, she wants to come back as a seagull so she can shit on people she doesn't like.

[Jim]

There's a rugby song with words to that effect but your mother being a Lady wouldn't know them :-)

[Patti (baconater)]

Don't think my mom even knows what rugby is.

[Jim]

Patti (baconater) wrote: "Don't think my mom even knows what rugby is."

and obviously we can see that you were properly brought up

[Patti (baconater)]

Ummm.

Okay.

[Jim]

it was a compliment!

[Patti (baconater)]

With only a small hint of sarcasm, right?

:D

[Jim]

I never do small hints of sarcasm. If you do sarcasm, do it properly :-)

[Patti (baconater)]

Can't disagree with that.

[Jud]

Just because you were properly brought up doesn't mean you act like it.

[Patti (baconater)]

I don't.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Nothing proper about our Patti!

[Patti (baconater)]

There's a few things. Just not everything.

Rather proud of that, actually.

[David]

Didn't Oscar Wilde say sarcasm was wit for limbo dancers?

[Patti (baconater)]

Oh, a quote.

How original.

[David]

Patti (baconater) wrote: "Oh, a quote.

How original."

That's rather cutting!

How low can you go?

[Patti (baconater)]

My wit is knife-like. 😝

[Jim]

To get in before Gingerlily :-)

http://www.treasurenet.com/forums/att...

and appropriate for M.T.M because it's from a treasure hunting site :-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I would have posted something big I wasn't on my tablet.

[Patti (baconater)]

Yeah, I've not used my wit enough lately.

Needs oiling.

[David]

Patti (baconater) wrote: "... Needs oiling."

You need to squeak more!

[M.T.]

Bit of a change from dementia this week! A friend asked me for some advice and then asked if I'd put it on my blog so she could share it with some friends!

http://mtmcguire.co.uk/2018/06/02/iknow/

[Desley (Cat fosterer)]

Really good blog and Important thing 2 applies to quite a lot - I had a similar thing when I started doing cat rescue, I'd compare myself to people and get frustrated they were doing more, but I realised that doing something was enough. However, I'm not sure I like you any more seeing as you haven't read a word of To Kill a Mockingbird!! ;-)

[M.T.]

Here's this week's my lovelies!

https://mtmcguire.co.uk/2018/06/09/re...

[Desley (Cat fosterer)]

Thanks for the laugh MT, about the football!!

[M.T.]

Desley (Cat fosterer) wrote: "Thanks for the laugh MT, about the football!!"

I am going nuts I reckon!

Cheers

MTM

[Desley (Cat fosterer)]

That was such a hilarious blog post, even if it was hard to read to the cats through all the laughter - even contemplated going reading bits of it to my neighbour!

[Patti (baconater)]

Ive not had a pet in years. 20, in fact.

I still go to pet random black things I catch in the corner of my eye.

Handbags, jumpers, rubbish bags...

[M.T.]

And footballs, in my case, Patti.
Thanks Desley, so pleased it made you laugh. My son is so gross and our cat is a nutter. Just realised I should post a link so here it is:

https://mtmcguire.co.uk/2018/06/23/ch...

[Desley (Cat fosterer)]

Well the cat does live with you ;) !

[Patti (baconater)]

Oh my gawd, Mary! That was hilarious!

Could have done with not shooting coffee out my nose this morning, mind.

Your son. *shakes head*

He reminds me so much of a boy I taught in Baku for the past six years. I'm already missing him. His mum and I are good friends and she's promised she'll stay in touch so I know how he's getting on.

I do hope his teacher next year appreciates his incredible intelligence and quirkiness.

[Jim]

loved it :-)

[Jud]

If Kathleen or Nathan ever eat toe nails or, possibly worse, the toe jam, I swear I'll pack them a survival backpack and ship them off to one of their grandparents houses.

How did you not throw up?

[M.T.]

Jud wrote: "If Kathleen or Nathan ever eat toe nails or, possibly worse, the toe jam, I swear I'll pack them a survival backpack and ship them off to one of their grandparents houses.

How did you not throw up?"

Sheer force of will! Yep he is gross. Imagine Lemmy as a child, that’s probably where we’re at. In the opticians the other day, we’re sitting in the dark and I’m being examined so McMini is at the other end of the room. He suddenly says, ‘I’m sorry but I’m going to fart,’ and then he lets one go and says, ‘Ooo I probably shouldn’t have done that in a confined space, don’t come down here will you.’

Thank heavens the optician had a child of his own who was clearly just as gross. Even so, I was quite hoping I could somehow disappear!

Cheers

MTM

[Alicia]

Cloak of invisibility, standard fantasy fare.

[Patti (baconater)]

I taught a kid a few years back who took unreasonable delight in grossing out his classmates with his farts.

He stopped doing it after he shit himself one day.

[M.T.]

Mwahahahaahrgh! Brilliant, though not for him I suspect.

[Patti (baconater)]

His parents weren't impressed, either.

Both high falutin' oil execs. The vice principal made them both come in to collect the kid. They wanted to send the nanny, of course.

Kid was 8 or 9 years old. Didn't even have PE kit to change into.

[Jud]

Poor kid, he probably has a mortal fear of following through now. Serves him right.

Kids really are just delightful, I'm glad my two are still at the cute stage.

[Alicia]

Patti (baconater) wrote: "I taught a kid a few years back who took unreasonable delight in grossing out his classmates with his farts.

He stopped doing it after he shit himself one day."

There you go again with the unforgettable images. Dumb kid.

[Patti (baconater)]

Dunno about dumb. Certainly lacking in social skills.
We often see it in kids whose parents have delegated all child rearing responsibilities.

There were a brother and sister who lived on the ground floor of the house and the parents lived on the first floor.

Could tell you loads about those two. Made me sad.

[Alicia]

Cries for help and attention don't always get answered.

[M.T.]

It's amazing how many kids who are obnoxious are suffering from some kind of neglect at home. Not always the obvious stuff either. My dad was a housemaster and so was my brother so I've heard stories ... I don't understand it. Having a kid is really, really hard but the idea of hurting mine, or playing mind games with him is almost physically painful for me. And neglect isn't always about how much time you spend with them even, it's about how much effort you put into making that time. Why would you have kids if you didn't want to interact with them?

[Patti (baconater)]

I often wonder about that Mary.

Yep, there are several munchkins that I've left behind in Baku who will be on my mind.