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A/B Testing for a blurb
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B every time. Makes you want to pick up the book and find out what the heck is going on.
Dylan wrote: "I'm hoping to get some feedback on two blurbs I have for the same book. I'm using one but have been flirting with the idea of replacing it. Any feedback you can give, even just a vote for which one..."B is snappier and flows better.
Anything that starts with someone reflecting on their life would make me put it down. You have a couple of lines in that blurb that I like though. What would happen if you started out with - Working as the CEO of Heaven Incorporated, is throwing Nietzsche into one hell of an existential crisis and now he wants to fire God.
The second one is fun, but I don't like a big part of it.
"A virgin birth? A virgin? Her?" God shouted at Freud while recalling his one night stand with Mary. Freud snorted another line of cocaine. This part is good, but it's about God and Freud. The rest of it is about Nietzsche. If you are going to go at it from the God/Frued perspective, you need to finish it off from there. Something like
hoping for the kind of story he could take back to N to help in his quest to fire god. How N. is going to deal with the other issues was anyone's guess. Norse gods are running amok on Earth,...
The ending of the second one is the best bit, but not if you start it from the God/Frued POV
Melonie wrote: "Working as the CEO of Heaven Incorporated, is throwing Nietzsche into one hell of an existential crisis and now he wants to fire God.."I like it, generally, but maybe take out "is throwing" so it looks like this: Working as the CEO of Heaven Incorporated throws Nietzsche into one one hell of...
I was hoping that one would stand out over the other but it's a split vote so far. Ahhh! hahaha
Good call on 'throws'. Why don't you try combining them. Take the bottom of 2 and put it with the new top of 1. Although the dialog is good in #2, it doesn't fit.
Dylan wrote: "I'm hoping to get some feedback on two blurbs I have for the same book. I'm using one but have been flirting with the idea of replacing it. Any feedback you can give, even just a vote for which one..."B.
If you're going to push the envelope, B shows this with its first paragraph. A is too standard, safe, normal.
Combine the best of both but keep it short!
A - Nietzsche reflects on his life while working as the CEO of Heaven Incorporated, throwing him into one hell of an existential crisis. As a result, Nietzsche seeks revenge on the one who caused his grief. He wants to fire God.
But the board of directors, a group of squabbling philosophers, prevent him from taking any action. Adding to Nietzsche’s problems, the Norse Gods find their way back to Earth – presumably to take over world religion. In an effort to regain control, Nietzsche sends a suspicious god to recover them. Moreover, syphilis pushes him into a past life that he would rather forget.
Operation Cosmic Teapot has been called “an ontological, existential, tripped out tempest in a cosmic teapot,” and “psycho satire,” and even, “cerebral and subversive — and a load of fun, too.” While that might be true, one thing is certain: this is religious satire in high gear.
B - "A virgin birth? A virgin? Her?" God shouted at Freud while recalling his one night stand with Mary. Freud snorted another line of cocaine in celebration, believing that this story would help Nietzsche in his quest to fire God from Heaven Inc. Nietzsche, however, has other problems: the Norse gods are running amok on Earth, his board of directors are in a constant state of chaos, and syphilis pushes him into a past life that he would rather forget. How will he prevail?
Operation Cosmic Teapot takes you on a wild, hilarious ride that explores the relationship between people and gods. Thought-provoking and humorous, the Teapot is sure to leave you wanting more.
Thank you!