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Fun > A deeply shallow question

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message 1: by Jane (new)

Jane Jago | 888 comments After exhaustive (well ten minutes anyway) research, I have a question.

When a book cover depicts a nice hunky half-naked guy with a six pack, why does he almost always have his hands in front of his gentleman's luggage?

It's a worry...


message 2: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4443 comments Mod
Because if he showed it, it would be in the humor section?


message 3: by Alexis (last edited Jan 03, 2017 01:41PM) (new)

Alexis | 265 comments Amazon and their suppressive anti-lusting regime!




Tara Woods Turner I write non-fiction. I'm just here for the...research. *grabs popcorn*


message 5: by Angel (new)

Angel | 216 comments Dwayne wrote: "Because if he showed it, it would be in the humor section?"

LOL!


message 6: by Tamir (new)

Tamir A. Shaw (tamir_a_shaw) ROFL! I must confess that I have picked up a book or clicked on a side ad to read the blurb because of those pics. (Shame on me!) But alas, some things are even too hot for me.

***You guys crack me up sometimes!**


message 7: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4443 comments Mod
Alex wrote: "I like the way you think."

Not entirely my idea. Actually, it's what they told me the time I posed for a series of steamy romance covers.


message 8: by Angel (new)

Angel | 216 comments It also might be because they want to seem as though they're leaving a bit to the imagination, since the six pack is already blatantly out there.


message 9: by Micah (new)

Micah Sisk (micahrsisk) | 1042 comments Are there actually a lot of books with nice hunky half-naked guys carrying beer on the cover?


message 10: by Christina (new)

Christina McMullen (cmcmullen) I just want to know what happened to the rest of them. I worry that somewhere out there in the universe, there is a planet completely populated by bare, tribal tattooed torsos with no head or legs. The poor dears.


message 11: by Alexis (new)

Alexis | 265 comments Micah wrote: "Are there actually a lot of books with nice hunky half-naked guys carrying beer on the cover?"

Hehehe. It took me a while to get this. The shame. :p


message 12: by Aaron-Michael (new)

Aaron-Michael Hall Tara wrote: "I write non-fiction. I'm just here for the...research. *grabs popcorn*"

LOL


message 13: by Amy (new)

Amy Hamilton | 91 comments On a slightly more serious note (I'm so sorry) for my erotica I moved totally away from that type of cover. Looking through Amazon I was amazed by the number of books that this one author with the bare male torso on the cover had written. Then I realised it was one book per author. All with a very similar cover.


message 14: by Rohvannyn (new)

Rohvannyn Shaw | 189 comments Because of prudes. That's why their bits must be concealed.

I picked the raw material for my naked torso-guy cover off of Pixabay, which may explain how many of them are out there.

I asked my own naked torso-guy who he feels about all this, and he didn't have much to say as he has no head, but his physical reaction and gestures showed interest. I think he's considering some tribal tattoos, and I'm considering learning sign language.


message 15: by Amy (new)

Amy Hamilton | 91 comments I got my spacey planet picture from Pixabay.


message 16: by Amy (new)

Amy Hamilton | 91 comments They have to put their hands down there in case someone looks at the book from the bottom. Never know what you might see.


message 17: by Heidi (new)

Heidi Angell (heidiangell) | 241 comments Micah wrote: "Are there actually a lot of books with nice hunky half-naked guys carrying beer on the cover?"

Rofl, clever word play, there!

They SHOULD have him holding a bottle of wine to cover his junk. I would be sold!

Oohhh ***Off to create a salacious cover for a book about wine***


message 18: by Nat (new)

Nat Kennedy | 321 comments Rohvannyn wrote: "I asked my own naked torso-guy who he feels about all this, and he didn't have much to say as he has no head, but his physical reaction and gestures showed interest. I think he's considering some tribal tattoos, and I'm considering learning sign language.


It's so lovely that you've learned to communicate so well.


message 19: by C.B., Beach Body Moderator (new)

C.B. Archer | 1090 comments Mod
Christina wrote: "I just want to know what happened to the rest of them. I worry that somewhere out there in the universe, there is a planet completely populated by bare, tribal tattooed torsos with no head or legs...."

I've started a relief fund for them. Please donate generously. We desperately need Thigh donations.


message 20: by Christina (new)

Christina McMullen (cmcmullen) C.B. wrote: "I've started a relief fund for them. Please donate generously. We desperately need Thigh donations. "

I've got plenty to donate. Do they need hips by any chance?


message 21: by C.B., Beach Body Moderator (new)

C.B. Archer | 1090 comments Mod
We always need hips, because they cannot lie.


message 22: by Melissa (last edited Jan 03, 2017 06:25PM) (new)

Melissa Abigail (melissaabigail) | 58 comments C.B. wrote: "We always need hips, because they cannot lie."

Bahahaha XD

These comments are amazing. Subscribed.


message 23: by C.L. (new)

C.L. Lynch (cllynchauthor) | 316 comments I assume that it is because the models are actually Ken Dolls.


message 24: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) | 629 comments LOL

Best. Thread. Ever.


message 25: by Jessica (new)

Jessica Jesinghaus (jessjesinghhaus) | 78 comments Just what I needed to finish off my night... now I'm laughing so hard I doubt I'll get to dreamland. Or if I do, I'll have visions of headless torsos filling my head. Thanks a lot! ;)


message 26: by Annie (new)

Annie Arcane (anniearcane) | 629 comments Jessica wrote: "I'll have visions of SEXY headless torsos filling my head."

I gotchu ^_~


message 27: by G.G. (new)

G.G. (ggatcheson) | 2491 comments Dwayne wrote: "Because if he showed it, it would be in the humor section?"

I like Dwayne's point of view. ;)

Also, The model probably puts his hands there because it is the same man posing on every picture and well he'd be recognizable by his tiny teeny little weenie. ;)


message 28: by Jane (new)

Jane Jago | 888 comments I've been thinking (dangerous I know) and I have come up with a theory.

The poor headless torso has lost so many of his bits that he's protecting the Crown Jewels as fiercely as he can....


message 29: by Nat (new)

Nat Kennedy | 321 comments It's all he has left. That and his six pack, and soon enough he'll guzzle that down.


message 30: by Groovy (last edited Jan 09, 2017 08:23PM) (new)

Groovy Lee Dwayne--LOL!!

And I agree with G.G. Sometimes they look as if they take steroids, and you know what that does to the luggage.


message 31: by Tamir (new)

Tamir A. Shaw (tamir_a_shaw) Groovy wrote: "Dwayne--LOL!!

And I agree with G.G. Sometimes they look as if they take steroids, and you know what that does to the luggage."

Yes, it's always so disappointing when the picture doesn't truly represent the product. Perhaps dislaimers are in order. Photo may or may not represent the quality of work inside.


message 32: by M.J. (last edited Jan 10, 2017 10:39AM) (new)

M.J. Finley (mjfinley) | 13 comments This is what happens when you cram a bunch of writers together. Tons of imagination and witty comments.

I won't be surprised at all if I soon find a book on floating torsos of a forgotten planet, where warrior ladies are trying to make them whole again while fighting an evil king, who spares no effort to steal their replacement parts for his own vanity, or something along those lines. It would probably be the first Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Romance/Erotica book of its kind.

Cheers fellow writers, you are indeed a remarkable group. I'm proud to be part of it.


message 33: by M.J. (new)

M.J. Finley (mjfinley) | 13 comments I rest my case.

Nothing else surprises me when it comes to a writer's imagination. Alex, my friend, I will stand in line to review that book.


message 34: by Jane (new)

Jane Jago | 888 comments Yay for all of us with our odd (and often filthy) minds.

I met one of these washboard-bellied hunks once.

*yawns just remembering*


message 35: by G.G. (new)

G.G. (ggatcheson) | 2491 comments Alex wrote: "Jane wrote: "Yay for all of us with our odd (and often filthy) minds.

I met one of these washboard-bellied hunks once.

*yawns just remembering*"

I've never seen the point of a six-pack, they al..."


Rolf. Well said! But are you talking orgies? Teehee


message 36: by Amanda (new)

Amanda Siegrist (amandasiegrist) | 190 comments And I enjoyed reading this thread! *still laughing*


message 37: by Jane (new)

Jane Jago | 888 comments Alex wrote: "I'm too shy to take part in orgies, I'm the guy with the camera so everyone can watch the bits they missed later."

Take a deep breath and jump in Alex. You might even enjoy it...


message 38: by Samantha (new)

Samantha | 57 comments You gotta have a hunky guy...I put a shirtless scene in all my romances


message 39: by Rohvannyn (new)

Rohvannyn Shaw | 189 comments I am DYING laughing right now. I went to Twitter to check out what was up, and I saw a contest for romance writers. The prize is to be published, apparently. Anyway, what was on their mockup cover? A shirtless guy on a dark background, with six pack abs and hands over his junk.

*rolling on floor laughing so hard I might shoot peppermint flavored chocolate out of my nose*


message 40: by Justin (new)

Justin (justinbienvenue) | 790 comments What happened to the old days when a romance novel had Fabio on the cover in a white shirt or shirtless holding a woman in his warm embrace? Psh..they don't make em like they used to.


message 41: by Christina (new)

Christina McMullen (cmcmullen) Justin wrote: "What happened to the old days when a romance novel had Fabio on the cover in a white shirt or shirtless holding a woman in his warm embrace? Psh..they don't make em like they used to."

Fake butter commercials pay better? ;P


message 42: by C.B., Beach Body Moderator (new)

C.B. Archer | 1090 comments Mod
I can't believe that Christina.


message 43: by Tamir (new)

Tamir A. Shaw (tamir_a_shaw) Christina wrote: "Justin wrote: "What happened to the old days when a romance novel had Fabio on the cover in a white shirt or shirtless holding a woman in his warm embrace? Psh..they don't make em like they used to..."

FABIO!


message 44: by Micah (last edited Jan 20, 2017 09:51AM) (new)

Micah Sisk (micahrsisk) | 1042 comments Justin wrote: "What happened to the old days when a romance novel had Fabio on the cover in a white shirt or shirtless holding a woman in his warm embrace? Psh..they don't make em like they used to."

A cousin of mine actually DID date Fabio (for real). He ain't all that from what I heard (I skipped the family reunion where he made an appearance).

A total momma's boy. ;D


message 45: by Jane (new)

Jane Jago | 888 comments A new genre hunk thing I have been seeing (the number of hunks I am forced to look at on you lot's behalf is positively horrifying) is the bare chested hunk with one random piece of clothing. And mostly he still has his hands over mister happy....


message 46: by Ember-Raine (new)

Ember-Raine Winters (ember-raine_winters) | 99 comments Haha! Jane you crack me up and I guess I am one of the guilty parties cuz I just posted sparkly abs the other day! Hahaha! I go out of my way not to put abs on my cover because I think it's overdone but you know! They are still nice to look at! ;)


message 47: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4443 comments Mod
Jane wrote: "A new genre hunk thing I have been seeing (the number of hunks I am forced to look at on you lot's behalf is positively horrifying) ..."

*shrug* The only hunk I've put on my covers is myself, Jane. I didn't want to, but I paid myself a huge sum of money and could not refuse.


message 48: by Jane (new)

Jane Jago | 888 comments Dwayne wrote: "Jane wrote: "A new genre hunk thing I have been seeing (the number of hunks I am forced to look at on you lot's behalf is positively horrifying) ..."

*shrug* The only hunk I've put on my covers is..."


Be still my beating heart. :-)


message 49: by Melissa (new)

Melissa Jensen (kdragon) | 469 comments There's an allure to things left up the imagination, I think, rather than having it all out there for the world to see.

Although I find the covering-the-man-bits images rather tacky. Just have him wear pants without a shirt. Let the imaginations run wild and free!


message 50: by Ember-Raine (new)

Ember-Raine Winters (ember-raine_winters) | 99 comments lol I just saw one earlier where the man was covering himself with again in his hand. It was... interesting


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