I've been sending out the following query with no nibbles from agents yet and I'm wondering if there might be something I can tweak. I'm grateful for any and all advice from new and seasoned writers/readers. Thank you!
Dear [Agent],
Giselle electrocuted her brother. With her bare hands. It was an accident, of course. Giselle would never even think of hurting anyone, much less family. But it doesn't matter. Lightning adaptations have been illegal in Buffalo, New York, ever since the lightning rebellion. In other words, the militia doesn't need an excuse to arrest her.
In Minneapolis, Minnesota- her new prison -the Wardens have one rule: be useful. Now the very adaptation that ripped Giselle from her family is the only thing keeping her alive. She must create lightning to provide electrical power for the Wardens' underground maze. Fail, and like the lightning adaptations before her, she'll become the next experimental test subject for the surgical team to dissect and study.
But torture and death are the least of her problems. Giselle's younger brother, the one she electrocuted, has been keeping a secret: he's becoming a lightning adaptation like her. With his only options being death or imprisonment, Giselle decides to escape. To do so, she'll need help. Too bad the only people willing to help her are a group of admitted murderers. Even if Giselle survives the escape, she may not be the sweet, innocent girl she was when she left Buffalo.
SOTA RADIATION is a dark young adult science fiction novel complete at 90,000 words. It will appeal to fans of Sophie Jordan's Uninvited.
P.s. If anyone has suggestions on how to make it read less dystopian, I'm all ears!
I've been sending out the following query with no nibbles from agents yet and I'm wondering if there might be something I can tweak. I'm grateful for any and all advice from new and seasoned writers/readers. Thank you!
Dear [Agent],
Giselle electrocuted her brother. With her bare hands. It was an accident, of course. Giselle would never even think of hurting anyone, much less family. But it doesn't matter. Lightning adaptations have been illegal in Buffalo, New York, ever since the lightning rebellion. In other words, the militia doesn't need an excuse to arrest her.
In Minneapolis, Minnesota- her new prison -the Wardens have one rule: be useful. Now the very adaptation that ripped Giselle from her family is the only thing keeping her alive. She must create lightning to provide electrical power for the Wardens' underground maze. Fail, and like the lightning adaptations before her, she'll become the next experimental test subject for the surgical team to dissect and study.
But torture and death are the least of her problems. Giselle's younger brother, the one she electrocuted, has been keeping a secret: he's becoming a lightning adaptation like her. With his only options being death or imprisonment, Giselle decides to escape. To do so, she'll need help. Too bad the only people willing to help her are a group of admitted murderers. Even if Giselle survives the escape, she may not be the sweet, innocent girl she was when she left Buffalo.
SOTA RADIATION is a dark young adult science fiction novel complete at 90,000 words. It will appeal to fans of Sophie Jordan's Uninvited.
P.s. If anyone has suggestions on how to make it read less dystopian, I'm all ears!