Support for Indie Authors discussion
Archived Workshop No New Posts
>
Is blurb writing one of the levels of hell?
date
newest »
newest »
Hi Melonie,Ditto! How can you summarize an entire book in a few lines? Yeah, it's hard.
Anyway, I like your blurb here but there are a few things I'd like to mention. You use names such as Shreet and Drani as though it is evident what/who they are. The whole blurb sounds really cool and exciting, but the names (though I assume Shreet and Drani are different races) kind of distance me from the excitement because I'm not clear on what they are. Are the Shreet aliens or are the humans? One thing that would make it more vivid for me would be to say something like "When a vicious, fanged alien race, The Shreet, attack . . ."
That's my only suggestion. Add in a few details on the ambiguous parts to draw me in.
:) Sounds like a cool book!
I like this blurb. I'd just have a wee go at pruning it if you can....
I think you've done a good job here. This isn't a genre I read a lot from but you've piqued my curiosity enough to open the book. I agree that species clarification would help but otherwise I think you've gotten off to a great start.
blurb writing is probably one of the narakas because it's basically sales copy. you might consider reading:http://www.copyblogger.com/copywritin...
Friedman recommends it in her book, Publishing 101 (which I own. This is the best overall guide to publishing that I've ever read and it's chock-full of other details and has a list of resources at the end of the book.) she also recommends:
http://www.problogger.net/
but the former is more focused on writing sales copy.
(is it a reworking of the current blurb for Shield of Drani?)
I think this is decent. A few comments, echoing some of the others above.I like the intro because it's different, I'm not fond of all the names. I'd start by getting rid if 'Like most Arleles' – it's a weak intro, at the least I would add it at the end of the sentence, or make it like her species. Also gives more space between telepathic and telekinetic.
Is Nevvis Dran or Arlele? If he's managing (ruling) the planet that suggests he's Dran.
Last sentence, 'to save Drani' – would they be Dran too? The way it's written it sounds like Drani is a being who he needs to make into a woman. Not Taymar. So I did find that confusing.
Um, your blurb sounds amazing. If it were me, I might replace the names of Shreet and Dani with their descriptions instead since there were already a few names to learn and keep track of in the preceding paragraphs, and it is in the last paragraph that my brain starts straining to keep up :). You must be better at blurb writing than you think because that is actually really awesome. I understand being critical of ones own work, though. I cringe at my own blurbs and bio on a daily basis...
Melonie, your blurb is good... it's compelling and descriptive. I'll take a shot here at editing from the viewpoint of a prospective reader and not from that of the Author. Frame it or flame it...One planet rich in fuel
Two psychic talents required to mine it
Three races vie to control it
Taymar, telekinetic, violent and deadly, is the first of her kind with such power, making her an intolerable threat to the dominant race. They will control her, tame her and use her to support their rule, if they possibly can.
Nevvis struggles to manage a planet that is sliding toward chaos. Now he must manage this rogue telepath as well. Hard to ignore and impossible to forget, Taymar distracts him in ways he would not admit, even to himself.
When chaos finally erupts, Taymar jumps at the chance to escape. Nevvis would love nothing better than to let her go, if only he could. To preserve his civilization he must twist her into a weapon and convince her to save a planet that has only ever tried to destroy her.
C.B. Matson wrote: "Melonie, your blurb is good... it's compelling and descriptive. I'll take a shot here at editing from the viewpoint of a prospective reader and not from that of the Author. Frame it or flame it......"
Nice. That is much easier to grasp as a reader.
Thank you soooo much! You have all really helped a ton. Thank you for the input and time and I will pay it back!
Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about when you say you're not good, because that was a pretty interesting blurb. I would just cut it down a bit and, as others have said, leave the species names for when readers actually read the book. Here's my attempt to cut it down a bit: One planet rich in fuel
Two psychic talents required to mine it
Three species seeking control
Like most of her kind, Taymar is telekinetic, violent and deadly. She is also telepathic, making her an intolerable threat to the ruling species. They want to control her. To tame her. She just wants to be free.
Thanks a ton. That's exactly what I did!
One planet rich in fuel
Two psychic talents are required to mine it
Three species seeking control
Like most Arleles, Taymar is telekinetic, violent and deadly. She is also the first of her kind to be telepathic as well, making her an intolerable threat to the ruling Dran. They want to control her. To tame her. She just wants to be free.
A cruel twist of fate has Nevvis tasked with managing Taymar when he is supposed to be managing a planet on the verge of war. But, she is hard to ignore and impossible to forget.
When the Shreet attack, Taymar jumps at the chance to escape. Nevvis would love nothing better than to let her go, but he can’t. If he is to save Drani from the invading Shreet, he must twist her into a weapon and somehow convince her to help save a planet that has only ever tried to destroy her.