The Flatpack Observer's notebook

[James]

The Flat Pack Observer

[Mr Savage Cushions]

Dear Sirs or Madams,

I am writing a novel entitled The Flatpack Observer and am currently working on chapter 18.

The book concerns an English village called Flatpack on the Water, a place that has remained untouched by modern times, and its need to employ a new resident vagrant. There are rumours that the previous encumbent died from greengage-tartlet poisoning,

Atticus ‘Maxie’ Malleable, the village’s recruitment co-ordinator, is sent forth into the outside world to identify a suitable individual. Meanwhile, in the aforementioned outside world, Sales Executive Edward St. Claire has been having an ill-considered affair with his company-chairman’s daughter. When this fact becomes public knowledge, he is sacked on the spot.

The two men meet on a deserted country lane and Maxie delivers the good news that Edward has been selected to become Flatpack’s new village vagrant, a job that attracts a handsome salary, paid in the local currency, the Brogue. Edward dismisses this as a cruel joke.

He wakes the following morning to find that he has arrived in Flatpack on the Water. It is St Gruntle’s day, the village’s annual carnival, and Edward is expected to play a central and often-humiliating role in the festivities.
And there is no escape...

If you would like to read the first 18 or so chapters please let me know... no pressure.

fond regards,
S Cushions esq