What makes you fall in love with a couple?

[Alan]

Hey,

I would greatly appreciate anyone's opinions on the topic of what makes you fall in love with a couple. When you see a celebrity couple, or your friends'/children's relationships, what makes you really root for them to succeed. What aspects of those relationships would make you truly heartbroken if they failed.

Thanks

[SJ]

Oh, good question! Had to think about this one for a bit.

The best thing about a relationship is that one person's strength can offset the other's weakness. In the end, this creates a mutually beneficial situation where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

I love to see a couple work well together and play off one another!

As a result, the most heartbreaking end to any relationship--in my opinion--is watching one person outgrow the other.

[Tamir]

I agree with Stephen. They are better together. They also go to bat for each other and let nothing come between them. The unit is what matters. They know that they are the team and they play the game of life with that in mind.
You can also see the love and admiration between them in how they look and treat each other.
It would seem that they would be able to weather any storm but tragedy seems to take this kind of couple out. Something extreme like the death of a child. An emotional affair would mess things up for awhile, but if they truly love it each other they would work it out.

[C.L.]

Agree with those above, and also add - witty banter. When they can tease each other and understand each other's stupid jokes, I melt a bit. I love the part in Jane Eyre where he's trying to be all romantic and she's just crushing his every attempt to be mushy.

I like it when couples don't bicker, they tease.

[Jane]

There's also that thing where people strike sparks off each other. If you can feel not only love but also gut deep sexual attraction then you will be hooked by a couple.

[Kristin]

In a book? I like it when couples battle side by side

[Alan]

Thank you all for the replies so far! Very helpful :)

[Amie]

Alrighty! I feel like I hit the jackpot with this thread. :)

So If we are speaking of books, screenplays, etc...I really love stories where they're experiencing a love/hate relationship at first, and one of them is, of course, not all bad, just tragically misunderstood. (Insert Mr. Darcy here.)

What else...hmmm....I love it when 2 people are friends for a really long time and one of them develops that secret crush and has to agonize over it for months or years, waiting for their chance. All the while they're hearing that other person dote on someone completely not as deserving. I am a sucker for the best friend underdog!

Okay...also any relationship where one person is the total smirk and always relaxed and witty and the other person is completely uptight. (Knotting Hill, anyone?)

I'd have to agree that losing trust in someone would be heartbreaking. And losing a child is followed by a super high divorce rate. But I have seen real-life redemption stories of both.

Good luck!

[Rohvannyn]

I tend to root for the underdog. I like a couple who complete each other (re: the earlier responses), support each other, and have an "us against the world" mentality. I like them especially well if they struggle a bit and then succeed with each other's help. I'd be pretty heartbroken if the very success they worked so hard to achieve is what drove them apart.

[Alan]

Thanks guys :)

[Anna]

Rohvannyn sums up my thoughts! I'm a sucker for couples who helps each other to overcome their weaknesses and who face hardships together. Going through rough times and succeeding with each other's help is what makes me cheer for them like crazy. :D I also love seeing/listening to friendly banter of couples who know each other well and trust one another.

What I find heartbreaking is when one person doesn't recognize the good qualities and good intentions of the other.

[Missy]

I just want to give kudos to Alan for this thread! It's a very inspiring subject and the answers have been great.

I fall in love with couples who get along and work together. Like Anna, when they can help each other through a hard time and be sympathetic, respectful, and supportive, those are the couples I cheer for.

[Samantha]

My favorite couples are Ross and Demelza and Oakley and Cole. These two couples go through a lot together and they all have their flaws and dark secrets but can forgive each other and put the past behind them. They also support each other and love each other because they're no perfect.

[W.]

1) that there is some obvious physicality: touching, kissing, holding hands, etc.
2) No carping (unless of course it is humorous and of long standing ... like that memorable fried Eggplant of Infamy that my wife made in 1980 ... but that is another story)
3) They are reading from the same libretto, they have the same faith, beliefs, attachments (NOT necessarily the same politics)
4) Show no fear of alienation (talking with an old boyfriend does NOT kick in the T)

[Alan]

Thank you all. This has been very helpful. Now I hope you don't mind if I throw in a development. What if the cause of the end of the relationship is the death of one of the people in it? Would it be worse if the death was abrupt, like a heart attack, or more drawn out, like a terminal illness?

[Anna]

Yikes. I think terminal illness would be worse. For me it would be easier to deal with a sudden loss than watch the other person suffer over a long period of time.

[Prashanth]

If they had really looked forward to something but just couldn't get to it. Like in the movie Up.

And when the "shoulda woulda coulda" thoughts linger.

[Tamir]

All I can say is...The Fault in Our Stars was totally beautiful, you should read it or watch it, if you haven't. It seems like when it's abrupt that the storyline focus turns to either the recovery of the survivor or the preservation of the memory of the demised instead of on the couple.

[C.L.]

Tamir wrote: "All I can say is...The Fault in Our Stars was totally beautiful, you should read it or watch it, if you haven't. It seems like when it's abrupt that the storyline focus turns to either the recovery..."

Speaking of witty banter that wins me over...

[Amie]

Oh man... I'm still processing that they're gonna die!!!

(I can take it. It just hurts. Already.)

My mom just died of a 15 month battle with melanoma barely a month ago. It was incredibly hard to watch. I helped my dad take care of her in her final months and all I can say is that they are memories that I struggle with, but at the same time, were an honor to be there for.

I think you can find a good story either path. And...I think I'm gonna need a box of tissues when I read it.


P.S. They were married 47 years. They had a good story too! ;)

[W.]

Having lived for most of 7 decades, having friends die fast and slow, the pain is different. I'm a doc so death as an event has no particular horror.
People need the process of dying to work through their farewells.
Abrupt death leaves so much regret due to words and deeds unsaid

[G.M.]

I fall in love with a couple by the way they treat each other, when they will go out of their way to do special things for each other and they don't make a big deal of it.

I think in the overshare world, many relationships seem posed for a camera. I don't want to see what the person is constantly giving you, I want to see how you light up for the other person.

I can't get behind celebrity couples because I don't know the real them. I like seeing the people in action working together as a team and making each other better.

[Amanda]

I love the respect, the open communication, even if it's something the other person might not want to hear, the humor in any kind of situation. Those are just a few things that make a great couple to me. Sometimes even admitting when you're wrong shows true love. That can be the hardest part in a relationship.

And the death part. I think watching the person you love slowly wither away would be harder. Of course, having them ripped out of your life suddenly could be just as bad. Depends what took their life. Death is difficult in general.

[J.]

There are so many things about couples that make me love them. And best of all, every couple is different. I think their inherent chemistry is what initially draws me in, and I don't necessarily mean heat. They need to have a vibe about them. I like couples that may seem oddly matched, but somehow are able to connect. I like couples that beat the odds. I like humor and understanding and vulnerability.

I can't imagine watching someone I love die... especially slowly. That's brutal, but a very real part of life. I did something similar in the prologue of one of my books and every time I read it, I cry. But I believe that real character growth can be achieved through those moments and that I love to witness.