A Solivagant on the Inselberg Showing 251-300 of 25,493

[kavi ~he-him~]

Music helps me a lot, for some reason Sad music comforts me/soothes me/calms me down when I'm sad. And whenever I'm really depressed, I'm always depressed but whenever I'm even more depressed than usual, I like to read depression quotes cause they help me....

[Hallie]

The past is called history for a reason. And even if you were not what you wished you were in the past, you're still a really amiable person now!

Music used to help so much before, but since November, it just stopped. Nothing. Not sad music, not happy ones, not even the ones by my favourite artists. For some reason, depression quotes makes me want to harm myself.

[kavi ~he-him~]

True....

*hugs* what about reading?

Depression quotes help me because sometimes it helps me to know I'm not alone in the Depression and with the feelings that I feel.....

[Hallie]

I've been reading ya books instead of my textbooks this whole week, but nope, still the same...

*hugs Kavy tightly and sees if there's anyone else around*

[Hallie]

Earth to Hell Exams!

Okay, so I'm frightened - no, terrified! My exams start tomorrow and I haven't studied at all! It's English tomorrow, and I think the first stanza of Lochinvar goes like this:

O young Lochinvar is come out of the west,
Through all the wide border his steed was the best;
And save his good broadsword he weapons had none,
He rode all unarmed, and he rode all alone,
So faithful in love, and so dauntless in war,
There never was knight like the young Lochinvar

And if I'm right, "he weapons had none" is inversion and the last two lines are imagery.

Whew! Now I got to go check whether was right. I don't know how I'm going to do tomorrow's paper: I have an extremely bad feeling. Please, I really do hope I get a perfect score!!!! But I haven't studied at all. The least I remember in the vocabulary part is:
• forlorn - unlikely to succeed
• wretched - miserable
• indictment - accusing someone officially of something
• fillial reverence - respect expected from a son
• fragile/exquisite - delicate
• generalissimo - a general of combined soldiers
• vestiges - traces
• vestibules - entrance
• discerned - saw

Ugh!!!!!!!!!! That's all!!!!! There are supposed to be 432 words or something. I can remember around 15 :/ Hold on a minute, how did Mr. Hodge restore the status quo in The Village Cricket Match by A. G. McDonnell (he was the one who wrote that story, wasn't he?) I'm surprised we have to learn that. I mean I thought the intention of the author was to mock the English. And oh wait, how did Ulysses introduce himself to Polyphemus? Oh that's simple: exaggerate a bit about not coming for war or business and that they were mere Grecians who were lost on their way back from Troy, and later Ulysses introduced himself as Noman and his Kindred and friends called him Noman. Not bad, Hal!! You know one answer. Let's test again, who was Ben Gunn? Oh, that man who had not seen another Christian in three years! Why do I remember that line so well? And I forgot how to begin the answer..... Oh dear! I do admire literature and all, but when we need to memorize the whole lesson written to entertain Robert Louis Stevenson's twelve-year old stepson, it's no form of entertainment for us.

Someone kill me! Or kidnap me until my exams get over. The former will be better, though.

[kavi ~he-him~]

GOOD LUCK HALLIE

[Hallie]

When Everything Tumbles

It's all coming down. It's all falling down. That's my life right now. Tumbling down, and soon I'll be gone. Forever.

I've been so down today: I was supposed to have been doing Math all day, but I barely did any. Hello bad marks in Math! Also, the bloody 'why-do-girls-have-to-have-this' started today. I'm tired, but not tired enough to sleep (mind you, I spent the last two weeks tossing and turning on my bed till after midnight.) On the day of my English exam, I fell asleep so late that I thought I would be sleeping instead of writing. By the way, that test was easy, but I think I messed up. I have the feeling my results will be really bad :/

Another problem today was that I had real trouble focusing, which I attribute to my monthly. Also, I finished reading Thirteen Reasons Why.

And I want to kill myself.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie, don't pls....don't kill youself, you'll be hurting us.....I can't bear to lose another person that's close to me.....pls Hallie *hugs*

[Peter]

Hallie. I won't let you do any of this.

[Hallie]

I'm sorry, Kavy, but if I stay alive, I'll only be hurting more people - like I have for the past 15 years.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie don't leave me pls....pls Hallie....

[Hallie]

I have no reason.

[Hallie]

Personal Survey Time
Stolen from red

1. How tall are you?
5'4"

2. What color and style is your hair?
Uh, black braids.

3. What color are your eyes?
I don't know... Brownish?

4. Do you wear glasses?
Nope.

5. Do you wear braces?
Well, not yet. I might this month.

6. What’s your clothing style?
Boring, I suppose.

7. Any freckles/moles/ beauty marks?
Um, no. Acne - plenty.

8. When were you born?
August 9th

9. Where do you live?
On the earth.

10. Do you have siblings?
A "little" older brother.

11. Do you go to school?
Yep :/

12. What kind of student are you?
The kind that has a reputation only in the top ten.

13. What are your favorite tv shows?
Pretty Little Liars, House

14. Favorite pass time?
Goodreads, reading, music, writing

15. What is your dream job?
Becoming a writer!

16. Would you like to get married one day?
Nope.

17. Would you like to have kids one day?
No thank you!

18. Girly girl or tomboy?
Tomboy!

19. Do you like shopping?
Hate it.

20. What countries have you visited?
Wales (?)

21. What is the scariest nightmare you’ve had?
Well, there were a lot, but in one of them, my brother got hurt really bad, and yes, that is a nightmare. You have no idea how scared I was!

22. Do you have enemies?
I don't know - unless someone secretly has a grudge against me.

23. Do you have a significant other?
No!

24. If not do you want one?
No thank you!

25. Are you open about your feelings?
Quite the contrary.

26. What’s your family like?
Annoying, impossible, trying, unwilling to listen.

27. Would you date someone your parents didn’t approve of?
I have a doubt whether I'll even date.

28. Favorite color?
Purple!

29. Any pet peeves?
Uh....

30. Do you believe in astrology?
Nopedy nope!

[Hallie]

And now I have trouble breathing. Hope it is connected to asphyxia in some way!

[[deleted user]]

Please don't leave. I've already lost many GR friends already.

[[deleted user]]

From: EFB

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

[Peter]

(Loki, message me. Please)

[Hallie]

Would You Rather
Stolen from Skye

Would you rather…. (This is so hard to choose!)
[x] Live without music
or
[] Live without books?

Would you rather….
[] Eat a bar of soap
or
[x] Drink a bottle of dishwashing liquid?

Would you rather….
[] Be called a racist
or
[x] A traitor to your country?

Would you rather….
[x] Lose your legs
or
[] Lose your arms?

Would you rather….
[] Have a beautiful house and an ugly car
or
[x] Have an ugly house and a beautiful car?

Would you rather….
[] Be blind
or
[x] Be deaf?

Would you rather….in a fire…save a.. (Whoever made these questions must be whacked!)
[x] Sibling
or
[x] grandmother?

Would you rather….
[] Eat sushi
or
[] Eat liver?

Would you rather….
[x] Live in Antarctica
or
[] Live in Death Valley?

Would you rather….
[] Have 3 eyes
or
[x] Webbed Feet?

Would you rather….
[] Find true love
or
[x] Get $ 1,000,000?

Would you rather….
[] Always have to say what’s on your mind
or
[x] Never speak again?

Would you rather….
[x] Be gossiped about
or
[] Never talked about at all?

Would you rather….
[x] Have stars in your eyes
or
[] Eyes in the back of your head?

Would you rather….
[x] Have X-Ray vision
or
[] Bionic Hearing?

Would you rather….
[] Be able to hear any conversation
or
[x] Take back anything you say?

Would you rather….
[] End hunger
or
[x] End hatred?

Would you rather….
[x] Publish your diary
or
[] Make a movie about your most embarrassing moment?

Would you rather get caught….
[x] singing in the mirror
or
[] Spying on your crush?

Would you rather….
[x] Be a dog named Killer
or
[] A cat named Fluffy?

Would you rather….
[] Be stranded on an island with someone you hate
or
[x] Be stranded on an island alone?

Would you rather….
[x] Get even
or
[] Get over it?

Would you rather….
[] Always lose
or
[x] Never play?

Would you rather….
[x] Be forced to tell your best friend a lie
or
[] Tell your parents the truth?

Would you rather….
[x] Know it all
or
[] Have it all?

Would you rather….
[] Give bad advice
or
[x] Get bad advice?

Would you rather….
[x] Have sand in your shorts
or
[] Have water in your ear?

Would you rather….
[x] Forget your sunscreen
or
[] Forget your sunglasses?

Would you rather….
[] Kiss a jellyfish
or
[] Step on a crab?

Would you rather…. (Even though I can't ski, but I can't surf either)
[x] Own a ski lodge
or
[] Own a surf camp?

Would you rather….
[x] Forget who you were
or
[] Forget everyone else and who they were?

Would you rather….
[] Have one wish granted today
or
[x] Have 3 wishes granted in 10 years?

Would you rather….
[] Give up your computer
or
[x] Give up your pet?

Would you rather….
[] Be the sandcastle
or
[x] The wave?

Would you rather…. (I can't choose!)
[] Write the worst book in history
or
[] Record the worst song in history?

Would you rather…. (Terrible deal! Neither)
[] Get free chocolate for 1 year
or
[] Get free potatoes…..forever?

Would you rather….
[] Have half days everyday
or
[x] No homework…..forever?

Would you rather….
[] Wear all pink to school
or
[x] Wear all purple to school? (Yes!!!!)

Would you rather….
[] Take a math test
or
[x] Do a lab in science?

Would you rather….
[x] Have a mansion in the middle of nowhere
or
[] Share an apartment with 10 friends?

Would you rather….
[] Bake cookies in cooking class
or
[x] Do art projects in art class?

Would you rather….
[] Have a pie-eating contest
or
[x] A wheelbarrow race?

Would you rather….
[x] Have a big group of friends
or
[] One very close friend?

Would you rather….
[x] Be nervous, but excited
or
[] Be relaxed, but bored?

Would you rather wear….
[x] a school uniform
or
[] Last year’s Halloween costume?

Would you rather….
[] Spend the day surfing the Internet
or
[x] Surf the ocean?

Would you rather….
[x] Be an actor/actress for a big movie
or
[] Be the director of the big movie?

Would you rather….
[x] Have an ugly, loyal dog
or
[] A prize-winning, snobby cat?

Would you rather….
[x] Be saved by Superman
or
[] Meet Winnie the Pooh?

Would you rather…. (Go to the library?)
[] Go to an amusement park
or
[] Go to a family reunion?

Would you rather….
[] Be rich with an unhappy job
or
[x] Be payed less with a job you like?

Would you rather….
[] Not be able to use your phone
or
[x] Not be able to use your e-mail?

Would you rather…. (Once again, I can't do either)
[x] Snowboard in the winter
or
[] Swim in the summer?

Would you rather…. (Ew)
[x] Pick your own nose
or
[] Pick someone else’s?

Would you rather….
[] Be a tree
or
[x] Live in one?

Would you rather…. (Can't choose! Absolutely cannot choose!)
[x] Write a mystery
or
[x] Write a poem?

Would you rather….
[x] Be popular, but mean
or
[] Be nice, but unpopular?

Would you rather….
[x] Eat rubber
or
[] Eat plastic?

Would you rather….
[] Be shot
or
[x] Shoot someone?

Would you rather….
[] Be stranded
or
[x] Get kidnapped?

Would you rather….
[x] Skip Christmas for a year
or
[] Skip your Birthday for a year?

[Hallie]

Trust me, Shine, you won't miss me.

[blue]

Hallie.. please... please don't.

[[deleted user]]

Hallie wrote: "Trust me, Shine, you won't miss me."

I will miss you, Hallie! I still mourn for Emma. I still miss Elizabeth(Lizzy). If you leave, I will be heartbroken.

[blue]

PinkLoki(Shine) RULER OF: CrimsonPeak, Asgard, Jotunheim, Midgard, AvengersTower wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Trust me, Shine, you won't miss me."

I will miss you, Hallie! I still mourn for Emma. I still miss Elizabeth(Lizzy). If you leave, I will be heartbroken."

Wait... Lizzy left...?..

[[deleted user]]

Yes! She's the one who RPed Marvel with me. She's known as WolfGirl.

I still miss her. She won't reply to any of my messages.

[blue]

...:(

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs Hallie* you are a family if you leave, we'll miss you forever, I still hadn't forgotten some of my other GR friends/family that left and I still miss them, we love you Hallie

[kavi ~he-him~]

PinkLoki(Shine) RULER OF: CrimsonPeak, Asgard, Jotunheim, Midgard, AvengersTower wrote: "Yes! She's the one who RPed Marvel with me. She's known as WolfGirl.

I still miss her. She won't reply to any of my messages."

*cries* I miss my sister....

[[deleted user]]

*sobs* She left GR and now she hasn't replied to the Google+ chats.

[blue]

Who all left GR?

[blue]

I feel like everyone is like slowly leaving.. They don't admit it at first, but they do later..

[[deleted user]]

Blue wrote: "Who all left GR?"

WolfGirl(Elizabeth/Lizzy)
Emma (killed herself because of life, lost of best friend, paralyzed)

[blue]

I know about Emma....

[Katlyn, (taylors version)]

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

This is the link to the suicide prevention hotline. It's completely free and confidential. Please, call the number - I'm speaking to anyone reading this who is contemplating suicide. If you're uncomfortable calling there is a chat as well - but please, reach out for help.

[Hallie]

So guess what I found in my inbox today? An email from Goodreads. Perhaps I should stop posting my feelings on here, and bottle them up in me again.

[Hallie]

Exam Reunion

My uncle and family decided to come visit here right when I have exams. We did tell them to not come until after, and yeah, as usual, I'm unlucky - they didn't listen. Apparently, "they don't have time after".

Yesterday, when I was studying for my next exam (I flunked Math :/), my uncle called and said that they were coming over in the evening. So mum told him that my dad would drop them in the night, and uncle replied, "We were thinking of staying over." Wait, what?!?!?!? We have two bedrooms! Only two! We have no space to accommodate four more people! However, well, that's how it was.... And I still have an exam.....

So let me tell you a bit more about that family. My uncle is Mum's older brother (so brothers being irrational runs in the family, huh?). His wife is the judging type, BUT the children: they're the only two kids who are younger than me! The older one, my favourite cousin of all, is two years younger than me, making us good pals! She once told her driver, "I'm not going to school tomorrow. My aunt and sister Hallie are coming tomorrow!" So well, yeah. The younger boy is 10 years younger than me, and he turned 6 last month. This one's really cute, though I'm terrible with kids. And once he woke up and asked where I was rather than where his own sister was. That was rather strange, but he's pretty amiable.

And I still have exams :/

I really wanted to spend time with them, but the day went terrible. They came at 5 with my aunt's brother. Two out of the four kids in the house were acting weird. My younger cousin and my aunt's brother's daughter were bot not eating the cake! What's up with these two? And then my mum , the eternal hypocrite, acted as though she was that good with kids and tried to bring him over to the table, but finally, it was my brother who managed to get him out of his shell by showing transformers. You won't even believe how asinine my mother sounded when she said that he would only take good napkins and not the one I got him (which, by the way, was my uncle's. What do you mean his father will give him a "bad" napkin?) Then the aunt's brother and family left, and that left me with my cousin. I took my book and continued studying, and my brother kept showing actions to talk to her. What on earth should I talk to her? Well, she's your friend. Hey! Uh, well, I managed.... Sort of....

The my aunt asked if she could see my English grammar book because needed something. I let her have the one I got this year, but it seemed rather advanced, so I told her that there would be more in the cupboard. I was searching for the best out of them, when my stupid mother came along to embarrass me. According to her, "she is my motivation." My foot! I can't say anything about this unless I cuss, which I'm trying not to do. Basically, she is the reason why I'm like this. Pathetic. Suicidal. Depressed. My brother was courteous enough to scoff at that comment the very instant.

Then they all went out and left me alone to study, and I almost wrote a note and thought of going to the terrace and jumping off, but like always, I thought I should give life another chance. So I tried fighting back tears instead :/ Stupid mother! Then, uh...... They bought a toy that can be transformed into a car and robot (that was so cool, but I barely got to play with it! :()

When dad came home, he really didn't know how to handle little kids. Did he really raise two children that way? How come I don't remember being irritated that way until recently? Basically, my dad was driving my younger cousin nuts, and my brother and I were like: "We don't know who that man is!" Thank goodness my cousin is only six!

In the night, my uncle and six-year old cousin slept in the hall after rearranging the furniture a bit; my aunt and cousin slept in the room where my brother and I actually sleep. What about the inhabitants there? Well, we were on the floor, but my parents insisted that I slept on the bed lest I catch a cold during my exam (it's still about the exams. My mum wouldn't care if not for the exams. Dad would, though.) I wanted to sleep on the floor, though, and my brother wanted the same for some unknown reason I find pretty fishy. It's easier to kick me in the night than my mum, right?

But, I slept like a log because, hello insomnia! I was the second last to wake up - if that kid was more than six, he would have woken up earlier than me, too. Then I taught my cousin to solve the 2x2 Rubik's cube (she was so shocked to see that I have 2x2, 3x3, 4x4, and 5x5 :P), but we couldn't finish the whole thing because she had to go. However, she said that she wanted the same, and told me that when I come to Wales after my exams, I should bring her one. Certainly! :) If I go there after my exams. And then they left.

So here I am, writing this, wishing they had come after my exams because I'd be able to enjoy it better. I mean, it's the first time she came here, and uh, I couldn't do anything! Remind me to buy her a 2x2 and if possible, a 4x4 cube, too, and if I'm not going, at least mail it to her. The last time I went, I taught her to solve the 3x3 cube, and she still remembers it! I'd love to teach her to solve the rest, too!

[Hallie]

Break-ups

Yesterday, I did something bad - really bad. I feel really guilty about that. If I was one of the characters in Pretty Little Liars, this would be a secret that A could blackmail me with. No one would approve of what I did except my classmates. My best friends most certainly wouldn't; my parents would kill me; and all my friends here would look at me with disgust.... It's.... I'm too depressed about it!

Then there's today's lunch. Mum was helping me study and our was around 1:30 when we had lunch. Since my brother doesn't have work today (Saturday duh), mum told him to buy something from outside at 12:30 because our meal was going to be bland. He didn't do it. Then when she was fixing lunch, she asked whether he wanted eggs. He said yes, and when she reminded that he could have bought that, he got up his high horses and said that he was famished. He also said that he didn't want lunch from here: "Do you have any idea how hungry I am?!" And he took his purse, changed his clothes, and stormed out of the door. All mum did was snigger (for who knows what reason), and said, "All of us are hungry. He only thinks about himself. I did tell him to buy something." I was at the verge of tears. If I didn't exist, this wouldn't have happened. And this isn't the first time my family is fighting amongst ourselves. The root cause of the fight would be me almost always, but I'm not the one who gets attacked; I need to watch someone else get chastised for something which would have never occurred if I was dead or non-existent.... It's all my fault. I'm breaking my family apart......

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie....*hugs tightly*

[Hallie]

*hugs Kavy* I wish I was never born. Things would be so much better for others then.

[Hallie]

Continued...

Another bickering yesterday: H's mum called because there were some rumours that someone got hold of our Math paper before the test. If that did happen, we'd have to write it again. She called the house phone, so my dad picked up and then gave it to mum. While she was speaking, dad made some actions indicating her to speak softer. And that angered Mum because Dad is always screaming his head off the phone. So she made a big deal out of it, and kept on commenting on it. She told Dad twice, my brother once, and me twice. And guess what Dad said? "That Little One knows."

That doesn't even make sense! Oh, I'm 'Little One' by the way. I'm the youngest, and the name just stuck even though I have a completely different nickname. Anyway, what on earth does that even mean???? And once again, if I hadn't been born, my friend's mother would never have called and that would have never happened.

I'm the cause for my family's sufferings. I get it. And that's why I don't like my existence anymore.

[Hallie]

PinkLoki(Shine) RULER OF: CrimsonPeak, Asgard, Jotunheim, Midgard, AvengersTower wrote: "My parents bicker sometimes. It's when one parent takes something the wrong way (MISUNDERSTANDING), the other parent tries to clear it up, but the bickering starts. The bickering doesn't last very ..."

My parents live exaggerating things, so it lasts for a while :/ That's really bad for you! :( I don't get involved in it, but the fights seem to scream " This is all your fault, Hallie!" *hugs*

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs Hallie tightly* I'm sorry....

[Hallie]

*sighs and hugs Kavy*

[blue]

*hugs*

[Hallie]

So many hugs? That's rare!

[Hallie]

Oh my goodness, Blue, you actually joined my roleplay group!?!?!

[blue]

Hallie wrote: "Oh my goodness, Blue, you actually joined my roleplay group!?!?!"

Yeah lol I was planning to make a character but I have to go somewhere so I will make one once I get home XD

[Hallie]

I'm still so shocked!!!!! Thank you!!! It's rather inactive, and I've still not completely posted the plot, though, but hopefully it will kick up.

[Hallie]

Word of the day

Melancholy: (Noun)
A feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.

[blue]

Hallie wrote: "I'm still so shocked!!!!! Thank you!!! It's rather inactive, and I've still not completely posted the plot, though, but hopefully it will kick up."

Ok thanks :) XD

[Hallie]

"But you don't wanna be high like me
Never really knowing why like me
You don't ever wanna step off that roller coaster and be all alone
You don't wanna ride the bus like this
Never knowing who to trust like this
You don't wanna be stuck up on that stage singing
Stuck up on that stage singing
All I know are sad songs, sad songs
Darling, all I know are sad songs, sad songs."

~ I Took A Pill In Ibiza, Mike Posner

[blue]

Hallie wrote: ""But you don't wanna be high like me
Never really knowing why like me
You don't ever wanna step off that roller coaster and be all alone
You don't wanna ride the bus like this
Never knowing who to ..."

Oh my god I love that song