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[Hallie]

Still yep!

*hugs*

[Deepthi]

Still nope!

*hugs tight* :)

[Hallie]

Still yep!

:D

[Hallie]

Also, I just realized that grades aren't doing anything good to my mental health - just making it worse. I topped again, but now I'm having even worse panic attacks and depression :/

[Hallie]

To-do List

• Complete Psychology record - due Monday
• Prepare for Journalism seminar on court reporting - for Tuesday (I think)
• Prepare for Psychology presentation on Déjà vu - for Tuesday
• Get interview questions from batchmates for journalism
• Complete Journalism journal - due Thursday
• Write short story for Communicative English - due Thursday
• Write critical analysis of Ode to the West Wind for English Literature - due Thursday
• Choose a topic and prepare for Communicative English presentation - for Wednesday, but since I'm not going, talk to teacher about it again
• Driving test on Wednesday
• Clean up phone storage
• Find ways to earn money?
• Read Pride and Prejudice

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "Still yep!

:D"

Nopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

uwu~

[Hallie]

Yeeeeeeeeep! I know better. Period.

[Hallie]

Can we cancel weekends for parents? :/

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "Yeeeeeeeeep! I know better. Period."


:(

[Hallie]

Even better, can we just cancel parents?

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "Even better, can we just cancel parents?"

PLEASE, YES.

[Hallie]

I'm sure it's just that I'm a shitty, ungrateful daughter. Last Sunday was my parents' wedding anniversary, and I legit spent the entire day thinking why haven't they gotten a divorce yet? Because for some reason, it feels like things would be slightly better if I only had to face one parent at a time. Best if neither.

[Hallie]

Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Even better, can we just cancel parents?"

PLEASE, YES."

I did not expect anyone to agree..... Oh okay then, anyone else? Let's make a petition.

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Even better, can we just cancel parents?"

PLEASE, YES."

I did not expect anyone to agree..... Oh okay then, anyone else? Let's make a petition."

Eh, I'm in.
I'm done with my parents, honestly.

[Hallie]

Same :/

[Deepthi]

:/

[Hallie]

Also, I need a cigarette.

[Hallie]

Why is everybody in real life being a pain? :/

[Hallie]

And my head hurts from the ponytail. I've really got to change this hairstyle :/

[Hallie]

I'm so screwed :/

[Empress X]

Sorry Hallie. :( *hugs*

[Hallie]

Thanks! *hugs back*

[Empress X]

Hope things get better for you soon! :))

[Hallie]

Thanks again!

[Hallie]

I just spent the last five minutes being nice? I had managed to get a window seat, but another girl wanted it for her friend, so I gave it up. She then felt bad and said I should switch back and that she'd tell her friend she couldn't get a window seat, but I had to repeatedly assure her that I didn't mind sacrificing it.

[Hallie]

But then two minutes later, possessed Hallie turned normal again

P: Hey dumbass! What happened at uni today?
Me: Ariana Grande held a concert along with Justin Bieber. It was lit! Two girls got into a fight and one pulled the wig of the other.
P: Why, Hallie, why?! Why can you not be normal?

[Hallie]

I have a presentation in the next hour, and I wish to die. My head still hurts (really need to find a better hairstyle), so it's get a cup of tea, prepare for the presentation, screw it up, drop dead.

[Hallie]

Kill me, please!

[Hallie]

It kind of went okay? Sure I stammered a lot, but my teacher didn't say much and simply nodded throughout, and even referred to my presentation as the kind she expected when someone else was giving theirs. And at the end, she said that everybody who presented today did very well and she was happy, and hoped the rest would do just as good, too.

[[deleted user]]

Hello!

[Empress X]

It’s good that it went pretty well. :) Good job.

[Hallie]

Hey Melody!

Well, I wouldn't say it went pretty well, but I doubt she'd fail me :D

[Hallie]

Anyway, it's almost 2 am and I have a driving test later, which I'm 3000000000% sure I'm going to fail :'(

[Empress X]

Well, I’m glad that it didn’t go totally bad then. ♥️ ♥️

[Hallie]

I had to get into a different car from what I practised in during the test, and that one wouldn't start unless I did something strange. It didn't stop or anything, and most people said I drove fine, but I'm still sure I'll fail :(

[Hallie]

Oh, and it's my brother's birthday today :)

[Hallie]

To-do List

• Complete Psychology record - due Monday
• Prepare for Journalism seminar on court reporting - for Tuesday (I think)
• Prepare for Psychology presentation on Déjà vu - for Tuesday
• Get interview questions from batchmates for journalism
• Complete Journalism journal - due Thursday
• Write short story for Communicative English - due Thursday
• Write critical analysis of Ode to the West Wind for English Literature - due Thursday
• Choose a topic and prepare for Communicative English presentation - for Wednesday, but since I'm not going, talk to teacher about it again
• Driving test on Wednesday
• Clean up phone storage
• Find ways to earn money?
• Read Pride and Prejudice

[Hallie]

Well, that was a disaster, and I would love to drop dead.

[Hallie]

I want to cut my hair and get bangs.

[[deleted user]]

Why?

[Hallie]

Are you asking why do I want to cut my hair and get bangs?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie wrote: "I want to cut my hair and get bangs."

ooooo

[Hallie]

There is so much I want to do right now, but realising that I can't do any of it creates this unsatisfactory sense of frustration.

[Hallie]

Chronic headaches.....

[Hallie]

Friends

My friends at uni are great. They are certainly better people than the ones I had to deal with the past two years. Do I wish I had different friends? Yes. Do I hate these people? Not really. They are actually the right people for me, and I'm a fool for wanting to fit in with the "cool" people when I already am with the perfect people for me.

But then, a few things bother me, which is why I've been trying to isolate myself from them. Firstly, I didn't really want to make friends here. The goal was to not get attached, and it sometimes feels like they are getting attached. That cannot happen.

Secondly, I'm starting to get a tad bit annoyed with F's indolence. I tried getting her to submit assignments on time, but she continuously ignored my efforts and skipped class way too much, leaving me as well as another girl who actually needed her (because she chose a certain subject thanks to F) all alone. I'm used to being alone, but the other poor girl really suffered twice already because F bailed on her. Now, I'm lazy. I'm really, really lazy. I understand laziness. I haven't done two assignments for Irish for the sole reason that I hate it, and was forced into it. Yet this take frustrates me, because there is still a limit of laziness people surrounding a person can handle.

I didn't attend class on Wednesday due to my driving test, but I learnt from P that F hadn't come either. She didn't come on Thursday. Our department was closed on Friday as well, so it was a long weekend. A little while ago, F texted asking if there were any assignments due tomorrow. While I was replying, I realized that she hadn't submitted two assignments which were due Thursday. Many others had not handed theirs in, so she could submit along with her - this I told her. What she said next shocked me.

One of the assignments was to write a short story on any of the three themes given. The story should not exceed 500 words, which really killed me, by the way. Now, remember how F had been home for 5 whole days? As soon as I told her what the themes were, she asked: "Do you have any stories I can use? I can't just scribble something right now." I stared at my phone for a few seconds in disbelief. I wrote my short story in half an hour the morning it was due, but I'm a writer and it was a pretty bad story, too. But she had 5 days, and asking another writer if she could use one of my works without credit for an assignment - that just upset me.

Next comes P. This girl is extremely nice and yes, can be annoying, but mostly in a good way. She rarely actually gets on my nerves, and even when she does, it's not a rational reason, but rather something more personal to me - I wouldn't blame her. The problem I have with her does spring from my personal experiences.

She echoes my mum.

I hear my mum speaking through her. She says the same words that annoy me - just in a different language. While her intentions are slightly different, the words are the same, and they do a great job bringing out my insecurities to the surface. My mum tends to pick on flaws that I'm aware of and annoy me by constantly pointing out that I'm so flawed, and P echoes those exact words again with a different voice. And I don't need another person like my mum in my life.

[Hallie]

I got kicked out of the content team because I'm not "focused enough". Deliberately didn't do anything so that I would get pulled out, so honestly, I'm slightly relieved now.

[Deepthi]

Hallie, do you mind DM-ing me your Discord ID.. again? ^^"

[Hallie]

Sure. Give me second :)

[Hallie]

Apparently my afternoon classes are suspended :) And we've been watching a movie for the first two classes, so technically it's only going to be two hours of literature today.

[Hallie]

I really need to get out of this household.