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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 22101:
by
Hallie
(new)
Jun 01, 2019 03:12AM
Hey that reminds me of another Webtoon that I love to read! I'm surprised I never saw it before because it already looks soooooo cute! Thanks for telling me! :D
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I need to send out the newsletter for my bookclub, but I'm too depressed to make it. I could force myself to do it tomorrow, but then I'd be upset that I didn't do it today. Yet I can't do it today....
And my mum bought me a new mouthwash to try, but guess what. It burns. I'm guessing it's the alcohol, but ultimately everyone knows I'm going to go with that idea and swallow it because I clearly want to torture myself.
Also, I've got to pack because I'm leaving tomorrow, but fuck that crap. I don't even want to go and I look sick enough to make everyone feel sorry for me.
Love you too! (Eh if I lived after being with the high version of S for two hours, then I can live with you :D)
Mum: You're older now, so I think your traveling sickness is better now.Me: *throws up in the bus*
Mum: B-b-but you're.....
Me: Shut up! *throws up again*
guys guys guys the AMDA emailed me and offered for me to apply!it's one of the best colleges in the us for the performing arts!!
also i'm absolutely freezing right now but i'm really excited cause my boyfriend has off this hour (finals is weird--we have three finals today and tomorrow. like today is first, third, and fifth hour, and each final period is an hour and a half) so he's gonna go get me ice creammmmmmmmm (:and we get to spend the rest of the day together and it's wonderful <3
still..... cant be fun having random posts that she isn't bothered about on her journal when she's already upset
Sαяαн wrote: "still..... cant be fun having random posts that she isn't bothered about on her journal when she's already upset"dude, chill. it's not your journal, so you can't say what to do. your journal that you created? your rules. someone else's journal? not your rules.
i'm only asking nicely once.
hallie hasn't said anything about it. she responds and seems to have fun talking to us. it's not your place to talk, so please stop.
g. wrote: "Have to agree with Sarah, because while you did came from a good excuse, you quickly turned this into a place to talk about yourself."it's a journal. it's hallie's spot. if she has a problem with it, she can tell us herself. last i checked, you're not hallie, so you don't have any right to be trying to tell us what to do. it's her place, not yours. don't try and put words into anybody's mouth.
g. wrote: "I was a research assistant in psychology at Oxford University. I think I know what I'm saying. ✌️"wow good for you i'm in psych too
but i also have common sense so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
oh i'm not in college lol i'm in my junior year of high school. i'm going to take the offer and major in musical theatre and minor in dance.sorry for being mean. i haven't had a great day. i'm sorry.
---originally posted on my journal, linked here: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/... ---"You probably should not open this
message: Oh shit you did. Okay, here we go.
First of all, don't flatter yourself. I blocked you, and many other people before I even talk to any of you, so, like, you're not that special.
Second of all, I don't respond to you because your last comment to me wasn't honest. You're not feeling sorry for being mean to me, you're just having this little moment of sheer panic because you thought I was kidding about my academic credentials and by saying you're also in Psychology, you can make me go away. Well, sorry baby, my concentration is Criminology, I've been in the room interviewing actual psychopaths who murdered people - nothing you, a cyber manifestation of someone behind a digital screen, could say that would surprise me.
And what were you doing clicking on my profile anyway? You want to find some dirt, or do you genuinely want to talk? I don't think it's the latter. I find it really funny that you chose to mention about being blocked on that journal topic, instead of your own journal topic. I wonder why, hmmm....
You know who has the problem here? You. You have this notion of a mean person who is persistent and believe in her own self righteousness but it's all just persona, isn't it? You think because of what you truly are in the real life, it gives justification of being whoever the fuck you want on the internet without consequences. Because what kind of monsters on this cyber world would call out someone for being shitty on the internet when that said person is probably currently going through some really dark and difficult shit? Maybe even clinically depressed and that's why they're acting all weird.
Here's the thing, you can't say shitty things to people who are just trying to tell you from different perspective what you're doing is wrong, /apologise/ later and think it'll make everything okay. There is no sicknesses nor mental illnesses nor struggles that can be used as excuse for being shitty, ever. The moment you're blaming your boorish bravado on so-called bad days, you're justifying it. You're enabling yourself to be like that, and you will not be happy in life until you find another fucked up minds who will be your enablers too. And it isn't because you weren't loved, or happy, or feel fulfilled - it's because you're so egocentric that these aren't enough. And you can't quit once you're truly invested with this notion of who you think you're supposed to be seen, and you're just gonna keep dumping on everyone who ever say anything you remotely disagree with, until there's no one left.
Hope you don't have bad day anymore! xoxo"
so i got that wonderful message.
first of all--i was actually sorry for being rude. this situation had nothing to do with why my day started off badly, and i shouldn't have said anything. so surprise, but i'm actually sorry. it wasn't cool of me to take it out on other people, and i accept that.
also i wasn't 'scared'--i am in a college course of psychology this year. so yes, i am actually in psychology.
i did genuinely want to talk, and apologise for my earlier actions. it was rude of me, and it wasn't your fault and i shouldn't have taken it out on you.
and i completely realise that there are consequences of 'being whoever the fuck i want to be' online. there are consequences for everything. i realise and accept that. and i am also diagnosed with depression and anxiety. i have been for four years. i get it.
i didn't think it would just magically make everything better. i realised what i did was wrong, and i owned up to it and apologised. i know there was no excuse for me being a shitty person. i'm not normally this upset or rude, but if you had as bad of a day as i did--severe anxiety attacks and having a mental breakdown about an ex-friend that threatened me and my boyfriend--maybe you'd understand too.
i'm not egocentric. i'm acknowledging that i'm imperfect, and i'm working on it. i have friends and family that support me. i'm not looking for enablers. i'm not looking to pick fights. i just happened to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.
everybody makes mistakes. you need to accept that.
exactly what g. said. u come in here saying u want to talk to her but it ends up being about urself. not saying that u should not speak about urself but my point is it happens to often that she doesn't get to post what she wants cz it's awkward. anyone with common sense would also notice that and yes she does have a problem with it. she won't tell u bc she s hallie the sweetest girl in the tri state area. thats y i step in so just don't force ur stuff in her journal. ur own journal with suffice for that won't it ☺
Sαяαн wrote: "exactly what g. said. u come in here saying u want to talk to her but it ends up being about urself. not saying that u should not speak about urself but my point is it happens to often that she doe..."i wasn't trying to force myself into her journal. i have my own journal for that. i just am good friends with hallie and come here a lot to talk to her
sorry for being mean
Huh? This again :/ Let's just drop it again.Although person experienced in criminology - we've got to talk. I love that stuff!
And hi Deepthi and Alex!!!!!
Basically, yesterday there was a huge drama feast between my uncle, aunt and Mum, so that wasn't great. Today my mum went to my dad's house this morning, and won't be back for about four hours. I'm alone with Grandma who is too worried about everything (not good for her age) and I'm too complacent and depressed and ignorant to help ease her (if that's possible).
Books mentioned in this topic
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (other topics)Lore (other topics)
The Glass Menagerie (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
Orlando (other topics)
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