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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 21201:
by
Hallie
(new)
Apr 15, 2019 05:01AM
Because my parents snatched away the sweet fruit of hardwork so many times that hardwork is no longer worth whatever I'll receive at the end.
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Let's not forget my toxic friendship with certain people that - once again, almost killed me.
So yeah, don't just tell the kids that grades aren't everything and their lives are worth more than that. Tell the adults that their kids grades arrange everything and they are worth so much more.
Unless you want to be the humiliated parents of someone like me...
I never complained that I had no lights in this house. I never complained that my dad was being too noisy every time he fought with mum. I just sucked it up. I pretended it didn't bother me, like it didn't upset me, like I was fine, like I was just normal.For two whole fucking years.
It's been two whole fucking years and I still want to - so strongly - slice up my veins and jump off from my balcony.
It wasn't bravery that made me stay. It was cowardice.
I wanted to see what they'd do. Clearly it wasn't worth the stay.
she's probably either asleep or in class or busy or something, as she's in a different timezone
Yeah, maybe. I’m just concerned with what her last comment was.
Hey people I told you I'd probably disappear again this week.
But in case you're wondering, I was busy hiding from my family's disapproving, patronising, angry faces and crying for nearly 8 hours straight.
I don't know..... But thanks! And how come you're on right now?
I haven't slept at all, I'm on my phone.
Why do I hear a clock ticking in a room that has no clocks? And out of the blue.
This is why I wear earphones all the time. Otherwise I lose my mind hearing strange stuff.
Ambiverted H had a uni interview and she says it was horrible (with double b's and l's), so now my introverted ass is all ready to jump out of the window.
If H thinks she messed up, I don't stand a chance.
I think I'm falling sick, but the exact same way I planned to kill myself.
The watchman is weird, fries from McDonald's suck, and I collapsed on the kitchen floor; thereby compelling me to replace the packets of pills I've been crying in my bag for days.
I was at school, minding my own business, when random classmates just come over and say, "Oh my god, you're so thin! Do you even eat?" Like ummmm.....
Feels like the whole world moved away and left me behind on my own.
Hey Hallie! Oh. . . that was a bad comment to drop in on. Hey well at least I'm right here I guess! :D
My parents are fighting again.... I'm tired of this.
it's personal
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