A Solivagant on the Inselberg Showing 19,951-20,000 of 25,493

[Aqsa]

Hallie wrote: "For what? A better life? Let's face it. I'm never going to get that."

You could.

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "Basically I'm supposed to live my life for others."

No. I didn't mean it like that.

[Hallie]

Aqsa, I won't.

Deepthi, well, sorry, but that's what it feels like even if it's not what you're trying to imply.

[Deepthi]

I realized it once I'd put that... :(

[Aqsa]

You don't know. I know that we can't be sure either but I think it's worth the risk.

[Deepthi]

Aqsa wrote: "You don't know. I know that we can't be sure either but I think it's worth the risk."

I second that.

[Hallie]

I do. That's why I'm not basing the rest of my life on the chance that a crazy implausible dream "could" come true. I know it won't, and even if it magically does, I still won't survive it. Ergo, I do know that.

[Hallie]

Why did everyone in the waiting room except my brother stare at me when the guy called out my name?

[Hallie]

Again -_- Is something wrong with my name or appearance or both?

[Aqsa]

Hallie wrote: "Why did everyone in the waiting room except my brother stare at me when the guy called out my name?"

Maybe they were just curious who Hallie was. It can happen though I don't know since I don't know where you were.

[Hallie]

Well, doesn't make sense to be honest.

[Hallie]

My x-rays are weird....

[May͛a]

But it's nothing that they can't fix right? Hopefully?

[Hallie]

I'll be fine. I think. They have to call in a specialist who will explain further, but it's just braces. There are chances the braces are a little different, but otherwise I don't think it will be much a of deal.

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "I'll be fine. I think. They have to call in a specialist who will explain further, but it's just braces. There are chances the braces are a little different, but otherwise I don't think it will be ..."

That's good...

[Hallie]

Probably.

[Deepthi]

:/
It will be.

Warning - ignore whatever non-sensitical things i say.
The above sentence doesn't apply to this.

[Hallie]

Yeah, but I'm not sure how I feel about it.

You refuse to ignore me when I ask. How do you even have the audacity to say this to me?! xD

[Deepthi]

Feel glad..?

I don't know what i'm going to say... please Hallie...

[Hallie]

Quite the contrary.

No. I'm not going to ignore you.

[May͛a]

Hallie wrote: "Yeah, but I'm not sure how I feel about it.

You refuse to ignore me when I ask. How do you even have the audacity to say this to me?! xD"

I got braces and I'm still wearing them, in case you're feeling alone :) My dentist kept telling me how messed up my teeth were but I have a feeling they tell this to all/most of their clients

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "Quite the contrary.

No. I'm not going to ignore you."

Nope

Fine, im not goibg to post here for some time then

[Hallie]

Aw Mays, thanks! My brother had braces, too (less screwed up condition for him), so we knew from the minute he got them that I would need them. But I just hate the thought of having to go through so much discomfort and mess up my natural identity just so that people stop getting disgusted when I am smile. I'd probably go into a tangential rant if I continue, but I'm just glad I have support.

Deepthi, well, can't stop you.

[Hallie]

My phone's power button came off again. I tried to fix it again, but things got messy, and now I can't use it at all. And my dad's playing the "ask your older brother with the job" card, and my mum and I have always hated being bounced between the two.

And I took a handful of unrecommended pills with hopes that it would help in some way, but it isn't, and I'm a mess with spelled super glue on my fingers, tears in my eyes, screwed up teeth, and a head that's going to explode soon.

[Deepthi]

*offers hug*

[Hallie]

Super glue and tissue paper literally stuck to my skin. Fuck.

[Hallie]

And I just realized that all my so-called friends have been going out and having fun while I'm just.....

[Hallie]

Except rubbish. I'm going to be in a foul mood for a while.

[Hallie]

But you're always in a foul mood, Hallie.

[Hallie]

I'm torn between stuff..

[Hallie]

But I found the perfect meme of my brother and me, and he loves it so much. I did not expect that.

[Hallie]

I thought he would roll his eyes, so I was afraid to show him, but I did eventually, and he started laughing and said, "I love it! Let's show Mum!"

[Deepthi]

That's good right? :)

[Hallie]

I guess...

[Hallie]

Except the fact that I now think my brother is possessed even though the meme was - and he agrees - a 100% accurate representation of my brother "looking after" his sister when our mother is away.

[Hallie]

I am too cynical for this world.

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "Except the fact that I now think my brother is possessed even though the meme was - and he agrees - a 100% accurate representation of my brother "looking after" his sister when our mother is away."

Oh...

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "I am too cynical for this world."

You're not.

[Deepthi]

Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "I am too cynical for this world."

You're not."

Even if you are, it's because you have your own reasons that are valid.

[Hallie]

You can't say I'm not. If someone is nice for a second, I psychoanalyse them like they have a secret, dark, manipulative agenda behind their actions.

[Deepthi]

Hallie wrote: "You can't say I'm not. If someone is nice for a second, I psychoanalyse them like they have a secret, dark, manipulative agenda behind their actions."

Again, because you have your reasons. Whatever's happened in the past is why you are like that. And that's not that wrong, so it's fine.

[Hallie]

I can't believe this, but I have very little to argue against that, so I give in. Saying that I've been a cynic was majority of my life won't prove anything other than "Hallie, you were raised in that cynical and hypocritical environment."

[Deepthi]

But still though :/

It's fine

[Hallie]

I couldn't sleep whatsoever.

[May͛a]

Listen to soft music maybe?

[Hallie]

A bit too late now, though :/

[May͛a]

With earphones? Or force your eyes closed

[Hallie]

It's already 5, so no point in sleeping now. I'm probably try that tonight.

[Hallie]

I can't even go a week without popping pills like candy and bursting into tears in seconds.

[Jingle ❀彡]

Hallie wrote: "Aw Mays, thanks! My brother had braces, too (less screwed up condition for him), so we knew from the minute he got them that I would need them. But I just hate the thought of having to go through s..."

I have similar thoughts Hallie, I had braces and I remember wondering when I was younger why people couldn't deal with less than perfect teeth. I hope you're at least willing to get the braces? I'm sorry for the discomfort you're going through :(

Also, I know no matter how people persuade you it may be hard to see things on the bright side, not when you can't see it yourself. I just hope you know that whatever you're going through, you are loved and deserve to love yourself as well. If you ever need to rant feel free to drop a message *hugs*