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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 14951:
by
Hallie
(new)
Jan 19, 2019 08:10AM
I wouldn't call laying around in bed watching House "exhausting myself".
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xDAnytime this week?
Just take some rest, you'll feel better soon :')
I spent most of this week in bed watching House, except for those few hours at school.
Then just take some rest... You'll feel better :')
Okay, I'll try to bear the headaches, but I can't stand the feeling of wanting to throw up. Feels like someone is strangling me, but no one is, and that's disappointing.
Deepthi wrote: "Then just take some rest... You'll feel better :')"That's literally the only thing I'm doing xD
That's going to be really irritating tbh... I hope you feel better soon
You don't even have to tell me! xP
Hallie wrote: "You don't even have to tell me! xP"XD i wanna befriend that girl
That would be cool! Hope she's nice! :)
How are you feeling now..? Any better? :(
Wait, isn't it around 5.30am for you?
Yep, 5:14. Really can't sleep without waking up 20 times.My head still hurts, and I still feel like crap.
That's really bad... Nightmares or you simply wake up?It still hurts?
A combination of both. Or I just don't remember what I was dreaming about.Yeah.
That really sucks...You tried massaging your head? A bit...
I'm washing my hair anyway today, so I'll try that then.
Maybe today is probably because I cried to sleep.
"Cried to sleep"? Is everything okay..? *offers hug*
I hope you've fallen asleep... Get a good sleep, Hallie
Still here. I don't think I can sleep now.
Oh... Another nightmare..? Or something happened..?
I just find it hard to sleep after 5.
Quick Rant
Last night, my brother kept yelling "Stop wasting the internet!" multiple times at me, and that pissed me off so much, but I just pretended he didn't exist.
Why?
Firstly, he doesn't own the internet in our house. My dad is the one who pays for it, so how the fuck can my brother just ask others to not use it because he is using it. It doesn't even work that well, and he has his own internet pack in his phone, so if he wants the internet to his own, he should use his own. Not tell us to stop.
Secondly, I'm not supposed to use it, but when it just stops working - which, by the way, happens very, very, very, very frequently, you can hear everyone in the house scream "Hallie! The internet isn't working!" in unity. And no, not because they think I'm the one who made it stop working. Because they know I'm the one who makes it start working. Two engineers in the house, and they have been relying on me to the fix the fucking router since when I was 10 years old. So when something goes wrong, I need to fix the mess, but when it's alright, I'm not allowed to be near it?! Fuck. If I wanted, I could make sure no one in the entire household can use the internet because the parental controls of all the devices are in the hands of the kid of the house. As much as I want to do that, I'm not because I'm just dumb Hallie.
This happens with everything. I used to use my mum's phone before I got my own, and something happened after I stopped using it. Mum and my brother blamed me saying that I had spoilt the phone, but I don't remember hearing an apology when I fixed the problem for her in half an hour without going to a store or spending any cash. Every other time, it's "Hal, don't touch my phone!" but like the day before, if something's wrong, it's "Hal, my phone isn't working! Can you fix it? Oh God, do I need to buy a new phone? Your brother won't even buy me one. Promise me you won't be so stingy when you begin to earn. Will you even earn? What are you going to become? You should get a full-time job that pays decently as fast as possible. Oh wow, it's normal again! Thank you dear daughter!"
Ummmm......
Thirdly, he wasn't even working! He was watching a fucking foreign movie! It's understandable if he was working and required a faster internet speed, but he was watching a movie. So he can watch a movie when I'm watching something, but I can't watch anything when he is? *rolls eyes*
Don't worry, brother, you can have the internet all to yourself when I'm gone. Just be ready to rant and not get it corrected the same day, and spend cash to fix it every time.
My headache was better yesterday. Now half the time, things look blur.
I just realized that my brother's birthday is in a month. I'll give him a punch as a gift :)
My mum's like, "When you blind after watching movies on your phone all day, I won't catch and guide you around. I'm just push you and leave you there."Blah, I'm here wondering if I'll be alive next week, and you're talking about going totally blind.
Besides, how the fuck is she not afraid to say shit like that? If I do live, she will go blind, and I will most certainly 'accidentally' push her down the stairs or something.
I mean if she wants to be treated right, then she shouldn't be annoying me right now.
:(Um, sensitive question, but... is your mom always like that..?
Even she knows what my brother will do, and me? Oh, I can hold grudges till I draw my last breath.
Deepthi wrote: ":(Um, sensitive question, but... is your mom always like that..?"
Except my dad, my entire family is always like that.
Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: ":(Um, sensitive question, but... is your mom always like that..?"
Except my dad, my entire family is always like that."
*pats back*
To be honest, no one outside Goodreads really gives a fuck about me.
You know that... :')GR has people who care, Hallie...
Yet I'm not allowed to be on Goodreads a lot apparently, and should live a life outside Goodreads, but clearly I don't want to, so I want to die.
Having some people outside GR too might help... Idk, it's your life... Just think about it :')
Lost the ability to trust people for that.
I understand that... But if we keep the same belief, we might never be able to do so many things...
Deepthi wrote: "Do you trust me?"To the extent I trust all my online friends.
Someone asked why I'm so hard on myself, right?
I think it's because everyone always expected to be to do something, but never expected to me succeed.
:')When you first met me, did you actually trust me? No. But give the other person a chance... They'll prove themselves to be good or bad. I'm not saying that everyone is good or bad, you'll find a mix of both. The good ones - you can learn to trust them. The bad ones - chuck them out. Don't take everyone into your heart or chuck them out.
Always remember that we'll be there to catch you if you fall... Anything happens, you can come to us...
Like they expect me to live, but simultaneously don't think I can live.
Hallie wrote: "I think it's because everyone always expected to be to do something, but never expected to me succeed."It doesn't matter if anyone does it...
If someone doesn't, then give them a slap on the face by showing that you're as good as anyone!
Deepthi wrote: ":')When you first met me, did you actually trust me? No. But give the other person a chance... They'll prove themselves to be good or bad. I'm not saying that everyone is good or bad, you'll find..."
Actually, I did trust you when I first met you. Technically, I stalked you a bit before we talked, and I'm apparently super choosy with friends, so I only stay with people I really like. Problem is that I'm such a horrible person that people I like don't like to stick around too long with me. The good ones are gone.
Hey wait a minute, that's my line! xD
it's personal
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