Rowan and Dante's Dorm

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“You skipped out on making out with me for a conversation you could have had with your grandmother.” Janelle said, sitting on the other bed and picking at her nails as if anyone would care to see how they looked.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"It wasn't on purpose," Rowan grumbled. He had thought Ever was really troubled so he wanted to help her, but it ended up being nothing much more than a casual chat in which he got dinner. The alternative had been much more interesting.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“I disagree.” She replied, dropping her hands and going over to wrap her arms him from behind. Perhaps he hadn’t wanted to, but that girl certainly had. “Now you’ll just have to wait again…” She said with a teasing grin as she kissed his neck.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

((Gurl...lol))

He sighed heavily and leaned back against her. "Yeah I know..." he sighed, clearly disappointed. But he knew he had no chance now. He leaned his head back to look at her and smiled. "As long as you're still here, I can deal."

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

((Psh haha))

“I’ll be here all the time, watching over you.” She replied, leaning her head down to kiss him on the lips. “And maybe doing some of this while I’m at it, so that you’re guaranteed to dream of me.” She added, still smiling as she lifted her hands up underneath his shirt. She hadn’t forgotten his reaction to her touching.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"That sounds like a good deal to me," he said and leaned up to kiss her again. He was worn out, and he could feel the pull that came with her touch, but he didn't want to. He'd wasted too much time today, but there was nothing that could be done.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

Janelle deepened the kiss, shifting so that he’d be moving closer to the bed the closer he leaned onto her. It would be easier to get him to sleep that way.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Rowan shifted as she did and realized he ended up laying on his back. He didn't think he was sleepy exactly, but...he was. Within moments he was knocked out, like there was a trigger that activated when he was laying.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

Janelle kissed him once more before laying her head on his chest, kissing it lightly as she wrapped an arm around him. In a few days, he’d be as good as new- until he once again knocked out from being with her.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Believe it or not, Rowan could dream when he was this far gone with exhaustion. It didn't often happen, but today...apparently it did.

A kiss so dizzying, it made Rowan quickly breathless and forced him to break it sooner than he wanted. He felt lightheaded, and it undoubtedly had to do with just how intense the kiss had been. He blinked at her as he tried to catch his breath, barely registering that she was now in his lap. "And what step of a breakup is this supposed to be?" he asked.

“This step?” Janelle replied, pressing her lips against his jaw and then his neck. It gave him something like butterflies in his stomach, exciting him while also making him so incredibly nervous and....guilty? It was a mix of things that made him want to flee and hide rather than try to explain to anyone, including her. “This is the step where you start to notice exactly how desirable you are, Rowan Dragomere. Where you move on to someone new.”

He closed his eyes a moment but pushed her away a little so she would stop. "I don't know if I'm ready to move on yet," he admitted. "I don't want to screw it up again." If he just moved on and made the same mistakes again then he would just keep going through this cycle. He looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes. Yes, this was certainly guilt, but for what he couldn't be sure. Because he didn't want to hurt another person, be there and be dependable and let her down when her walls were down. Because she wasn't....the right person for this moment. Because it just didn't feel exactly right. Because all the words he was saying were meant for someone else who he had already wronged.

“You won’t,” she replied, the voice slowly becoming someone else’s, shifting from Janelle's slightly more feminine tone to one smooth and slightly deeper. “You like me, and I like you. So why don’t we just stop thinking about everyone else and just focus on what we have right in front of us?”

"I am thinking about you," he said seriously. "I don't want to...hurt you. I don't know if I can keep myself from doing that." He reached up and touched her cheek lightly. She'd been so soft before, but now it was a different softness. Even if he still couldn't make himself look directly at her, he was still getting the words out. He needed to say them, or the guilt would grow and sit as heavily on him as all his past wrongs.

“You can’t hurt me,” she assured him, leaning her cheek against his hand when he touched it. “And even if you could, I want you to. Isn’t it a risk you’re willing to take? For us?”

"How can you want that? It feels horrible. The heartbreak of it all, I don't know if I could go through that again, and I don't want that for you," he said, looking more and more upset, falling back into his former state. It ached, knowing he was still just as awful as before. He hadn't improved as a person, how could he improve as a boyfriend? He was barely a good friend, and that really made it hurt. Because he wanted it so badly....but he didn't deserve it. "You helped me through it, I can't repay it with more pain."

She leaned her forehead against his, her hand still holding his above her cheek. “You can’t make every decision based on past experiences..” She told him, shifting her face so that she’d be able to kiss his palm. “Yes, it could end in a heartbreak… but it can also become something very beautiful and lovely. We owe it to each other to at least try, don’t we?”

"I want to try," He said, not having to take even a moment to think about it. He reached his hand back into her hair and twisted a lock around his finger, staring at the smooth red as it slowly slid across. He lowered his voice, thoughtful, careful. "I want to be with you. But I don't know if I can be what you need. What you deserve."

“That’s because you’re thinking too hard about it.” She replied, kissing his wrist this time. “I don’t want you to be perfect or what you think I deserve. I want the ugly and the pretty. I want you."

Finally, he looked up at her, his eyes meeting her beautiful blue ones — yes, that perfect blue — and felt a little choked up. But rather than say a single more word, he just leaned in and kissed her, right on the lips like he'd wanted to for so long.

She lifted her hands to cup his face as she moved closer to him- closer than Janelle had because it was clear what Rowan wanted. Or rather, it was clear who he wanted. And now that he allowed himself to consider it, he realized the feeling was mutual.

Not that the heavy feeling of guilt had gone away- he’d wronged and certainly didn’t deserve her, yet he couldn’t find it in himself to let her go. And maybe that was what made him feel the worst of all, but if what he was thinking was true… then everything he had been doing with Janelle hadn’t been because he felt them from the heart. Because some part of him hadn’t been picturing her when he closed his eyes when they kissed- he’d be picturing someone else. Someone who he couldn’t lie to himself about anymore.

“Yes…” The girl in his arms whispered as if she read his mind, opening her eyes to look at him before leaning in for another breathtaking kiss.

How could he not have realized she wanted him too when it was all so clear now? The truth of what she felt went beyond her kissing, he realized. Went beyond the teasing and flirting.

Because he could see it in her eyes every time she looked at him- see it in her smile or the way she’d laugh at his lame jokes. Like she found him just as beautiful and intoxicating as he found her. Somehow he'd been ignoring it even more than he'd ignored the fluttering in his chest whenever he got to see that smile or hear that laugh.

Rowan pulled back again, but not because he had been forced to or because he didn’t want to kiss her. No, he pulled back so that he could really look at her- the faint freckles dotting her nose that he finally got to kiss like he always wanted; her cheeks, red from the roof's cool breeze; her perfect soft lips, still swollen from the kisses he'd waited ages for... Why had he kept himself from doing this before?

“I love you…” He whispered, sounding awed by her, his thumb lightly rubbing her bottom lip before he raised his eyes to look into hers. She was already looking up at him, raising her hand so that it would hold his against her face as he finally let the words out of his chest.

“I know…” She whispered, a small smile on her lips as she teasingly bit his thumb before she leaned in to kiss him again. “You’re the last one to realize it.” She added, her lips trailing over his cheek now.

He half breathed a laugh, because it was true. Somehow he knew that everyone else had figured it out but him. Reflecting, he hadn't been super subtle partially because he didn't know there was something he was trying to be subtle about. "I really wish I'd figured it out earlier," he said, wishing doubly so when she moved her kisses down to his jaw.

“Want to know something?” She asked, letting out a little chuckle as her kisses moved across his jaw and towards his ear. Her hand slipped up underneath his shirt, and Rowan wasn’t sure he could think clearly anymore. Which only got worse when he felt her warm breath against his ear. “I wish you had too. Because then I would have been able to do this a lot sooner…” She whispered, kissing the spot behind his ear before lowering her lips at the same time her hand slipped over his bare stomach.

Rowan closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath when he felt her cool hands sliding across his stomach. "Now I really wish you could have done this sooner," he breathed out quietly, finding himself wishing they were not on the roof. Wanting to take her someplace they could never be disturbed because although he wasn’t seasoned in situations like this, he knew exactly what he wanted.

She only let out one of her teasing chuckles, knowing exactly what was on his mind as her lips lowered and her hands slid higher up his body. He couldn’t think at this point- not at all. And no words would form either, except for her name.


It was such a realistic dream that he could swear, even as he slowly pulled from it, that it was actually happening. That she was really there, and he had really confessed what he'd been feeling without having to worry that it was too late and she no longer reciprocated.

So the real touches he was feeling were prolonging his dream state into the real world, and he reached out for her because he'd been otherwise splayed out on the bed. "Raelynn..."

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

It had been nearly a week since Janelle last spoke to Rowan. Nearly a whole week since his friends had called and siblings messaged. If it weren’t because they’d taken precautions- like leaving them an automated message that he had to rest- she was sure they would have kicked the door down to check on him.

To pass the time, she’d been checking on the unconscious friend and stalking the ex and the unconscious girls sister. She was just about to wake him up when she heard it- heard the shift in his dreams. Not literally, obviously, but she knew he was dreaming something… interesting, because of how he shifted in his sleep and because of the sounds he made.

She smiled a bit, going over to his side and lightly brushing the hair from his face before leaning in to kiss him on the lips. She hadn’t actually expected him to dream about activities like these but she wasn’t complaining. If anything, she was into it too- which was why she shifted her kisses down his jaw and neck, her hands sliding over his body.

She knew when he woke up too- because he pulled her closer to himself. She was just about to do more than just kiss when he ruined it. “What?” She asked, not moving for a moment before she pulled away to look down at him.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Rowan woke more when she pulled out of his arms, but he was disoriented. How much had been real? Not nearly all of it, clearly, because that voice was Janelle's and she had not been in the dream. Which pretty much immediately had him feeling guilty because...he had quite the dream and his girlfriend had quickly turned into someone completely different. As with most of his wakings, his head felt heavy, but really heavy, like he had been sleeping for a whole week or something. "What?" he asked in a croaky voice, throat dry from lack of all hydration. He needed to know what the damage was for her to be looking at him like that before he dug his hole deeper.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“Don’t act stupid.” She snapped, because he had to know what he did and she wasn’t going to humor him. She felt that very strong sensation of annoyance building up again- the one she felt when the other girl was there and flirting with Rowan. Where she felt herself building up with more energy than she could handle.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Rowan rubbed his forehead at the sound of her voice, so annoyed it agitated his head. "Janelle...come on, I was asleep," he said and slowly sat up. He could have asked what he could have done in his sleep but he knew what it was. He just didn't know how to explain it to her because the explanation would be worse. He stretched his back again, wondering how bad this whole situation was for his body. Ache and stretch, it was a constant back and forth that just might make him a crumpled old man.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

Janelle pulled away, staring at him as she kept herself from asking him any of the questions that were just building up because she knew the answers. What she was angry about was that he could even think about someone else, after all her nudging and acting like she actually cared about the people he did. “Am I not enough for you that you’re dreaming about other girls?” She asked, her fist clenched.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Rowan winced. How did anyone answer a question like that? No? It was not a lie but it wasn't the truth either. That he didn't know why he'd dreamt about Raelynn? That was definitely not true. "I don't....know," he admitted, in answer to her question. "I don't know, okay? Isn't it all subconscious? I can't...I don't know." He just kept repeating it, not because he was saving her feelings but because he really didn't know if she was just not enough for him or if it was something else. Because he loved her. Didn't he?

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“I could understand you liking someone else, because you can’t help it….” she said, her voice still angry as she stood up. “But I will never understand you lying to me for it.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"I'm not lying! Janelle I really don't know," Rowan said, wincing when he raised his voice. Desperation didn't just will away the aches of being asleep for who knew how long to recover from your loss of life force. "Yes, I like her, but I love you too. I didn't dream about her because you're inadequate."

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“Well, that’s what it looks like!” She replied, not pointing out that he said too. He loved her? She couldn’t point this out yet- because she still had a few things to do. “My boyfriend goes out of his way to show me he prioritize his alleged best friend all the time! It’s always ‘Raelynn needs me to do this, Raelynn needs me to dothat’. And it’s not only her, is it? It’s everyone else but me! Me, the person who has been by your side from the beginning!”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"And when do I not do the same thing for you?" Rowan asked, getting....not exactly angry but he was certainly more awake. "I give you everything, even my own life! I might be immortal but that doesn't make that easy." What more could he do? And what did she have against Raelynn to get them to this point? Yes, he'd admit he'd been forceful in telling her that he was going to help Raelynn in every instance because Janelle had been so staunchly against it for some reason.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“Are you saying this has only benefited me?” She asked, crossing her arms. “Because you haven’t been against seeing or touching me. So much that you decided to date me anyways! Am I not allowed to get angry that despite all that you’re still thinking of someone else?”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"That's not the point!" He said, his voice raising before he sighed from hurting his own head. "You act like I do everything for her and ignore you every chance I get and it's not true. I don't give her any preferential treatment over you. Or anyone else for that matter!"

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“I’m getting angry because my boyfriend had a dream about a girl that wasn’t me! And I’d consider that as putting someone else above me.” she snapped, but didn’t mention that he had already acted on his attraction to the other girl because he didn’t know she had followed him there. “Tell me this- if I had been alive, would you have even thought of her or had second thoughts about us, for that matter? Tell me the truth.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Rowan opened his mouth to reply to that, but even he knew it was a bad idea to explain it was subconscious and he had no control over it. "I don't know! Your being-" he paused, not wanting to say the word, "....not alive isn't even a factor." The nagging question he never voiced sat there, though, wondering if the same answer applied for her. If he wasn't the only one who could see her, would he be her first choice?

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

Janelle stared at him for a moment before she went over to stand in front of him. Any other time, she would have just kissed him and gotten over it. But she wasn’t feeling very kind right now. Because if there was a way to describe her, it was condescending and cruel. So to be one-upped by someone on a field she was otherwise an expert in? “You claim it isn’t the reason, yet you can’t bring yourself to say it.” She said, tilting her head to the side. “I’m dead, Rowan. And it is because I’m dead that you’re not ripping my throat out right now, or have to fight the instincts that make easily make you a viscous killer. Can you say the same thing about Raelynn? I know you couldn’t say it about Terra, but we know how that turned out, don’t we?” She asked calmly, taking a step back. “I’ll leave you to gather your thoughts. But we both know there’s only one person good enough for you, once you accept the fact that we’ve been through all of this together because of fate.” With that, she was gone- gone before she could let out more of her frustration and anger on the guy she had also fallen in love with.
Cruel- she was utterly cruel. Yet she knew Rowan would come to his senses and realize she was right- that he had been made for her as a gift for all the suffering she’d gone through. That she was made for him too.
But for now, she had somewhere else to be.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Rowan winced, recoiling a bit when she pointed out his capacity for such violence. It was true. Right then, he was only holding onto his humanity because there was no one close by. The way he'd woken had distracted him from his raging hunger, but her pointing it out made him more than aware of it. And Terra....it was a low blow. What he'd done to her, he regretted for so many reasons, and he couldn't have stopped himself. He looked at her with such hurt that it rivaled the dormant hunger hiding behind his gaze that didn't feel the need to show itself when there was no prey. Was that how she thought of him? But then she...left. And he was more hurt and confused than before.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Alone again, Rowan forced himself to drink before his humanity was lost completely. Unsurprisingly, Everleigh had brought the best type for him, even if the taste was cold and packaged. Yet the more he drank, the more he needed. Like unrecognized dehydration, he consumed all of it, everything he had left in his little fridge, and still he needed more. Paired with how upset he was, he knew he was in a bad situation, and after the last time, he was not going to risk leaving his room. It was a miracle his roommate never was around because surely by now he would have been drained to nothing.

The thought made his chest ache again. He was such a monster and yet he acted like he wasn't. He shouldn't have been allowed to care for himself at all. A hunger this large wasn't normal. He needed more - he hated that he needed more - but he would be lost without it. He was already lost, but who could he ask to help? He couldn't go get more himself, he wasn't in his right mind for that at all. There was only one person he could consider, and he hoped he didn't make a bad decision when he sent out that text.

When the text "I need blood. Please." came through to Whitlea's phone, she practically dropped everything and went. Rowan never asked, and if he did it wouldn't have been so simple. That meant he was really desperate. After not having heard from him at all in at least a week, it was both terrifying and a relief. She knew where to find him and had brought all her reserves and a couple extra she picked up on the way. It was a lot, but everything he didn't drink could be kept in his own reserves. It wasn't very long before she knocked on his door, not knowing what to expect, especially when he just called for her to come in rather than open the door himself.

Rowan was sitting on the floor under the window, knees pulled up to his chest. He raised his head when she came in and it made Leah pause. Eyes bloodshot and dark, fangs still extended, and so pale. She breathed a curse and closed the door behind her as she brought the blood to him.

Rowan sunk into the bags ravenously, desperate for more. More. He couldn't stop, a blood lust far beyond any point he'd ever let himself get to. And all his sister could do was watch and hope like he was that he would be satiated.

Finally, when he was nearing the end of the blood bags she had brought, color was returning to his body and he slowed his drinking. He had been so scared that he wouldn't stop at all. That he would just need more and more until he had drained the world of its blood or died in the process. At some point, Whitlea had made him stop and process the blood because his body wasn't registering it as fast as he was drinking it. But eventually, he stretched out his legs and leaned back on the wall, dropping his head in shame. He was out of breath, or maybe it was just still upset. Either way, he was done...satisfied, hopefully. "Thank you," he whispered to her, his voice too exhausted to speak any louder.

Whitlea moved to sit next to him and crossed her arms across herself more like a comforting thing as she thought about what to say to him. It wasn't like she could say nothing, though she wasn't going to scold him for not drinking or anything. She was just so grateful he had asked for help. "Of course, Rowan. You can always ask for me," she finally said softly.

They sat in silence for a long time, or at least it felt like it. Rowan didn't mind her being there but he didn't want to talk, explain himself, feel any of the things that he was feeling. He was just exhausted and feeling like trash. Like a monster. How many blood bags had he gone through? He didn't even want to look at the empty pouches that littered his floor.

After a while, Leah finally asked the question that was nagging her. "How...long?" she asked carefully. How long had it been since he'd fed? She hadn't heard from him in over a week and he'd been bad off then, so had it been longer than that?

"I don't know," he answered, sounding heavy and just...ashamed. "A...a week maybe? I didn't check the clock." He felt like he owed her an answer because otherwise she'd just press and he didn't want any of that. He wouldn't be able to handle it.

She bit her lower lip. A whole week....with a ravenous hunger that looked like more than double that. She didn't dare ask how long it had been before the last feeding that he'd eaten. Instead, she just nodded slowly. "You can't just...go on like that, Rowan. You looked almost to desiccation," she said with concern. "There's no coming back from that."

"I know," he replied miserably. He hadn't known he'd been that bad, but he knew the consequences. How near had he been to becoming a living shell of a being? Gone from his humanity forever, desiring more and more to quench the unquenchable thirst?

"I just..." Whitlea started, but then sighed. This topic was so sensitive, and he was so skittish about things sometimes it really made her scared to approach. "I thought you were doing better again. You seemed...really happy. Why aren't you drinking?"

Rowan frowned, not about to flee but not wanting to answer. Of any person, Whitlea would absolutely be the first person to tell him that dating a ghost was not a good idea. And he would believe her because she was his practical big sister who made a hell of a good argument for literally everything. So lamely he said, "I was asleep."

Leah looked at him, disbelieving. No, she believed he was telling the truth but...for a whole week? And not even his hunger had woken him? "Is this like the Terra dreams? Because-"

"No it's not like that," he said, cutting her off. "I was exhausted after I left the hospital and I just needed to...sleep. A lot of sleep. Don't worry about it. I'm going to be fine."

She could feel him shutting her out and it made her close her mouth. But why? That was a lie and a bad one at that. Rowan had always been a bad liar, but this was...really bad. He was actively trying not to tell her anything and so she knew it was something big. A big lie that she couldn't even begin to guess at.

"I'm okay, alright?" he said quietly. It was the truth. Or the relative truth. He was as okay as he possibly could be or would be any time soon.

"No, you're not, Rowan," she finally said. "You're not okay and I wish you would just admit that so we can help you." She was frustrated with it but she was never able to confront him on it. They all knew he was troubled or whatever it was worse than normal but he was just keeping away instead of letting his family help him. And they all wanted to help him. But they couldn't if he wouldn't let them.

And just like that, he shut down. He fell silent, didn't say anything, or acknowledge that she'd said a thing. Because she was right. He did need help, but he didn't want it. He was tired of being a burden and he was an adult now. He was supposed to be able to figure it out on his own but he was just so lost. And he didn't see a path through that.

How could anyone stand him? He couldn't stand himself. Raelynn....even if he loved her, he didn't deserve her. She deserved someone so much better than he. It was only a matter of time before she realized that and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He just had to wait for the fallout like before. Terra had gotten there, surely, and his screwups certainly hadn't helped. Maybe Janelle was getting there too.

He huffed out a sigh and pulled his knees up to his chest again, crossed his arms above them, and lowered his head. How was it that he felt tired all over again, despite all the supposed rest he'd been getting?

Leah, to her credit, didn't press. She just reached out and rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. She'd be there when he was ready. Whenever he would let her help.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

After their lunch, Rowan made his way back to his room. It was only a partial relief because he was finally alone, but...he was reminded of the fight he and Janelle had just been in. If she came back...he didn't know what he would say to her. His phone buzzed again with another text from his sister, but he was finally free and he didn't want to reply. He just needed a break not to think about anything before he dealt with it all again- including his worry of where Raelynn went.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

Janelle was laying sideways on his bed, trying to look at ease and not like she felt so weak that it was… really necessary to be near him.
She also had to try and not look angry because her shot at coming back to the realm of the living had been ruined. She was angry now, clearly, but now that she knew it was a possibility to do something like that… she just had to wait a little longer. It could always be with some other girl- someone that maybe wouldn’t share her features- but she knew… she knew it was something personal now. She had been bested by Raelynn and she wasn’t taking that lightly.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Rowan paused when he saw her in bed waiting for him. Or he assumed waiting for him. She also probably didn't have anywhere else to go. He only stayed at the door a moment before stepping inside and closing it behind him. He thought he would have time to think of what to say to her but there was none of it.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“You were gone for longer than expected.” She said when he didn’t say anything, sitting up on the bed. “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming back.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"Well...Raelynn woke up but um...we went out to eat after that," Rowan said, keeping it vague for his own sake. The sting of Raelynn not wanting to see him hadn't exactly gone away. "You were gone a long time too..." He pointed it out because he hadn't seen her the entire time Whitlea had been nursing him. That felt like it had taken an eternity.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“You did?” She asked, stiffening because she assumed he meant him and Raelynn. Truth was that she hadn’t been able to see anything when she woke up again- or reappeared. Whatever.
She had only woken up outside of the hospital and somehow made it here without disappearing. “I… thought you needed the space.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"Yeah, but it was awkward. None of us wanted to talk about it," he said, unintentionally letting her know it was a group, not that he was keeping anything from her. He sighed at her reason for being gone, because it was unfortunately true. "Yeah, I....I did. I wasn't in my right mind." He cringed at the thought of how monstrous he had been- as if trying to prove her comment right.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“Neither was I, I suppose.” She replied, studying him before patting the spot besides her. “I think we both know why things like that… set me off.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Rowan went over and sat beside her but didn't touch her, not yet. Seeing her again made his upset feelings return. Even though he wasn't mad at her he also wasn't alright. "Yeah, I guess..."

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“But I don’t want us to fight anymore.” She told him, lifting her head so that she’d look at him. “Not about her or… anything. But I want us to be honest to one another.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"I don't want to fight either," Rowan said, looking over at her but keeping his head lowered. He didn't think he had lied to her any more than he lied to himself though, so he didn't know what to say. He reached over to take her hand but hesitated. He needed to retain his energy a bit longer than he had been. He couldn't get that bad off again.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

Janelle noticed it- the moment where he remembered what had happened and who he could blame for that. She thought about what Raelynn said- that there would be a moment where he goes to sleep and never wakes up. Because of her.

It just meant she needed to work faster to get into her body.

“I don’t think I need it.” She told him, and it was obvious what it was she was talking about. “I’m fine with just… talking to you. Like we used to before… everything else. I don’t want to see you lose any more days of your life because of me.” At least not until she needed it to defeat Raelynn. Then, she’d be willing to let him sleep- so that he wouldn’t stop her.

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

He lifted his head at what she said, looking surprised. He had just meant to hold her hand for comfort but it was more comfort to him that she was thinking about that. "Thank you," he said, sounding kind of stunned. Even if he knew what could happen to him, he hadnt entertained the idea of not giving her his power anymore. For her to offer it was nice. "But if you really do need it, just tell me. I can't give too much but I still can..."

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“I’ll miss being able to kiss you.” She admitted, smiling a bit as she looked at him before shrugging. “But I know we’re not at that point in our reconciliation yet, right?”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

Rowan smiled a little bit shook his head. "No, not quite." He would miss that part too but the fight had been a bad one. They needed to deal with their problems first. "I will admit though...i don't really know what I can do to fix it."

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“I think we have to talk some more.” She replied, shifting to face him better. “I’m sorry for what I said- about you being a monster. You’re not, Rowan. You being with me, despite my situation… it proves that. You’re a good friend, a good brother, a good son… a good boyfriend. For me to say something like that, especially when you reached that point because of me… it was wrong.” She said, holding the urge to reach for his hand because he had already decided he wouldn’t want her to. “So what if you said someone else’s name- it’s not the end of the world. It’s normal.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

He ducked his head again, staring down at his hands clasped in themselves to keep him from reaching for her hand. Whether he wanted the comfort for himself or to offer it, he still couldn't risk it right now. "No, you were right...I am a monster and I haven't been good to you. I made you feel like I didn't care about you and I didn't even notice until you had to throw it in my face. I could have been so much better to you and I wasn't."

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“None of those thing would make you a monster.” She replied, tilting her head so that he’d look her in the eyes. “I said that so that I’d make you feel bad about it but.. you’re not, Rowan. I know you care about me.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"But some part of you had to have meant it. Some part of you felt hurt, more than just from that instance, right? You said you wanted us to be honest with each other, so don't lie," he said, shaking his head. He knew she had been upset by his actions longer than just then.

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“So maybe one part of me did.” She replied, standing up and going over to sit in front of him on the floor. “But that was because I’m selfish like that. Because I want you to myself. I don’t want to share you with any other friend or acquaintances. I never had anyone like that when I was alive but with you, I… I fear I’ll lose you and I don’t want to. I refuse to.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"Janelle..." he said and finally reached out for her, to put his hand on her cheek. "You're not going to lose me to my friends. I fully understand being anxious about it, but you don't have to worry. I'm sorry that you feel that way."

[Evelin ☪️ Queen of Witches]

“It’s hard not to.” She whispered, tilting her face so that she’d lean her face against his hand. “Because there are things every other girl could offer you that I can’t. They can touch you without taking your energy, for one. Do things that wouldn’t be weird like they are when it’s with me.”

[☣ EMᕈRESS SERΔ ☣, Supreme Mod of Overcomplicated Projects]

"You're right...but I know all that," he pointed out. "I know that it might be easier or less awkward with someone else, but I love you. I'm with you knowing that, so you have to trust it doesn't matter to me."