Our Shared Shelf discussion
Nov/Dec Mom & Me & Mom (2016)
>
How is your relationship with your mother?
date
newest »
newest »
I have a great relationship with my mother. I see her every day. I am the only one of her three children who lives nearby. I help her by doing things around the house and taking care of my dad so she has some free time to do things she enjoys.As people, we are very different. When I was growing up she was not the kind of mom I wanted and I was probably not the kind of daughter she could understand; but she always supported the crazy things I wanted to do.
Now that I have a daughter of my own I know a little better what she must have experienced.
I am thankful for the family that I have been blessed with; I love and respect them all.
My relationship with my Mother was difficult at times as a young child. My Mother struggled with depression and migraines. When my Mother wasn't working, she was usually sleeping. We did have spend some time together but not the quality time I would have liked. It was mostly going to work with her, or going out with her while she shopped. Shopping was my Mom's therapy-therapy for a marriage that was a struggle...that is a whole other story. As an adult my relationship with my Mother has grown stronger. We spend more quality time together, have long talks on the phone, and are more of friends. The relationship is still dysfunctional in ways. I feel like I have to be the parent most of the time. I find myself having to give advice more than getting advice like I would prefer. I am more of a positive and happy person...where my Mom tends to be negative and think of things negatively and live in the past. At times her moods can bring me down.
My Mom has her good qualities though as well. She us the most generous person I know. She is kind, caring, and loving. She is always putting others first-sometimes this backfires on her though.
I have noticed some traits I have picked up from my Mother. Some that are good, some not so good. I am working on the ones that are not so good to better myself and so that I don't end up on the same path as my Mother.
When I was younger I was like, no I'm not like her. But now when people tell me I laugh like her or I resemble her I like it.I love my mom, more than almost anyone else. She's an amazing woman and I can only hope to be even a fraction of her. She has constantly given all that she possibly can for me and my siblings. She's someone I enjoy watching tv with, cooking with, or walking with. I hope I'm like her.
Arusha, very beautiful words and sentiment.
Arusha wrote: "Ross wrote: "Arusha, very beautiful words and sentiment."Thank you very much..."
Now I'm homesick... What a wonderful poem.
I have a great relationship with my mother (If you've seen Gilmore Girls, you've seen me and my mom). I know it has had a huge impact on who I am. I don't know who I would be or what I would do without her.
Each one have loving relation with his mothers.
We were close. Super close. But before my mom died, i remember she was a bit angry at me. She cried to my sister because i introduced my boyfriend to them. That time im on my 2nd yr of college and she doesn't want me to get boyfriends yet. Study first. After that mom and i barely talk for a week and then accident happened. I broke up my bf firstly. I am truly sad and sorry. She died and leave just like that. We didn't talk. I didn't explained myself. I didn't say sorry for disobeying her. Mom i know you are up there and you know how sorry i am. Im doing my very best today. Im sorry and i love you very much.
Wafa wrote: "mom is the best, she was & still with me supporting me"Hi!
I just received the "summary" email of this thread to my email box today, and started browsing through it. I read this (by Bulletproof): "There is so much pressure on the mother - children relationship because according to society it should be the most important within the family". And I agree, I would say that this pressure is even damaging on the mother/daughter relationship. Now is time for my "shared story" (and sorry for any self-indulgence).
I don't have a good relationship with my mother. Now that I am older we have come to a more peaceful ground, but it hasn't always been the case. When I was younger, I was horrible to her. The reasons were numerous and complicated, but where I was getting at earlier was that it was also because I was felt pressured intobeing close to her. My mother and I are two very different human beings, with opposite takes on life, etc. And I was always closer to my dad. But people thought that was weird: a girl was supposed to be close to her mum, not her dad! So people would always talk to me about oedipus complexe (how sick can you be to say that to a little girl?) and saying that I was mean and wrong because I wasn't showing as much affection as I should have to my mum. Long story short, not only did I grew up guilt-ridden with little self-confidence (of course fueled by other things!), the more I felt pressure to love her more (or to show up this love more?) the more I felt to incline to push her away from me.
Sorry for this long and boring post :)
Je wrote: "We were close. Super close. But before my mom died, i remember she was a bit angry at me. She cried to my sister because i introduced my boyfriend to them. That time im on my 2nd yr of college and ..."Dear Je,
I am totally sure your mother forgave you the moment it happened and wasn't even really mad at you, because that's just how mothers are. Don't ever think about that week again, because she has already forgot about it. I am sure that the best memories and the awareness that she'll be with you and love you no matter what are the only things that count.
I love my mom so much, because she has always done everything for me. Yesterday I held my birthday party and my mom stood in the kitchen cooking for the guests almost 1/2 of the day. In the end she was very tired, but she did it just to see the smile on my face.My mom and I might not always get along, (mostly because of puberty and hormones ;) ) but I'm very thankful for her being my mom.
This question is hard for me, and I considered not answering it. I'll warn you that this will be a little long and rambling.I had an amazing relationship with my mom. (I say had because she's no longer living.) She really was my best friend. I went to her with everything and she let me talk through it all. No discussions were off limits and she was really good at giving advice without it feeling like a command or a rebuke.
She gave me a way out of bad situations and relished her role as a "mean mom". My friends thought she was horrible. She let me blame her when I needed a reason to not do something and I used it until I was confident enough to stand up for myself. If my sister or I were involved in something, she was too. The poor woman ran herself ragged while we were in school.
Even when she didn't approve of what I was doing, she was always there if I needed to talk. She said once she raised independent children and we up and moved away from her. She really did raise us to be our own people.
I lost my mom when I was 20. There are so many parts of my life she never got to be part of. I've been told numerous times that I'm just like my mom, and I can think of no higher compliment. Of course she wasn't perfect, but she was wonderful. I'm doing what I can to be for my children who my mom was for me.
My mom... I love my mom. I'd be lost without my mom... but I happen to have a mom and a mother who is slowly becoming more of a mom, but those are some REALLY BIG shoes to fill!I was put up for adoption when I was 3 months old, and my mom and dad stepped in and swooped me up!
They were originally going to adopt a 5 year old little Korean girl. They were learning all about her. Until her mother-in-law went into work one day and was talking to my biological grandmother. They discussed my mom wanting to adopt and me being put up for adoption and so they researched, hired a lawyer, filed the paperwork, went to court and adopted me. They raised me, spoiled me, "made" me play outside in the woods and the fields. They "made" me drink from a hose, dig holes, and get all sorts of dirty. They washed me up before dinner and bed and they provided me with clothing and an education. I was enrolled in sports, and very independent thanks to my mom. They raised me to be the person I am today. (Although neither mom nor dad had my attitude and temper.)
Mom was honest with me from the start and I always knew I was adopted. It was no secret, and no matter how much it hurt my dad they knew one day I would search for my biological parents. And I did, and I found them.
My biological mother and I share an attitude, a temper and a very bull-headed personality. We are strong willed and extremely independent. Our determination gets us through our hardships and we fight until we win. We do not believe in giving up, but we do know how to pick and choose our battles. We struggled with each other for a long time. My bio-mom and I did not talk for years. We both had A LOT of growing up to do. Now we share experiences together. Plays, ballets, 5k runs, fitness training, meal plans. We encourage and push each other to be better and do better.
But my mom, the woman who, by choice, took me in, raised me and loved me. Provided a big brother for me to fight and argue with and throw things at. My mom who has watch be struggle and fight, much like I have done with her in recent years. Her, I would be lost without! There are no words in this world that could describe what she means to me. I only hope that my daughter see me the same way I see my mom. She loves her Gran very, very much!
Sarah wrote: "My mother is one of my most cherished people. She always supported me. Emotionally, financially, health-wise -physical and mental, and whenever I needed and still need someone to talk to. We are co..."Do we have the same mother? Are we sisters? Seriously! You have just described my mother! My relationship with my mum is weird. We do get along if we don't talk too much, or if we stay on safe water, like talking about literature.
My mum is an only child and she was raised by her granny. My grandmother lost her husband when she was pregnant with my mum and she never remarried. My mum says she felt she was always alone and that there was no one to be with her all the time while she was growing up, so she decided to fix that with me and my sister. Problem is that, even though I understand where she comes from and that she's trying to do what she thinks it's right, she is overprotective of me and my sister.
Since I can remember I have always been a very independent child, always looking forward to do things by myself, and that was something my mother couldn't accept. She still hasn't. So growing up with an overprotective mother was hard. She also stopped working when my sister was born so she could stay home with us all the time. And she really meant ALL the time!
I still live with my parents because housing prices in Brazil - where I'm from - is ridiculously expensive, so I have to live with it until today. She had always passed it on to me that I wasn't good enough on things I was really passionate about. I was selected to be on my city handball team, but she didn't allow me to participate because she said I wasn't athletic enough to be on the team.
She does encourage me to study hard, and she also gave me the best education she and my father could afford. I am incredibly grateful for that! But I just feel that I'm not fully living my life.
I'm planning a trip to the UK late November this year and she's doing emotional blackmail, already! And it's March!!! Imagine how terrible it will be when November comes!
I do love my mum, I understand where she comes from, I just wish she could respect my wish of being free to live my life.
I had a really rocky relationship with my mom in my teenage years but as time went on and as I drifted from everyone I knew in high school. I started to appreciate her more, to notice her. That's when I realized I was dumb.. For prioritizing other people over her. She is my number one fan, and I couldn't be more thankful. I guess what I'm trying to say when you get older you value your mom more and you start to understand the beautiful bond that you have with her. Even if you had the most disastrous relationship with her you'd always find her supporting your decisions no matter what. Being there for you when no one is.
Most of what you go through as a kid defines your whole life, and mothers play ..."
My mother is quite literally the best person I know. She is a saint on earth, and no one will ever convince me otherwise. She raised my 2 older brothers and me by herself after my parents split up when I was 12. I was horrible to her when I was younger, but she loved me anyway. I was angry, every day, but she did her best to help me manage it. She is my polar opposite.
We joke that she is like a puppy: excited to see anyone who comes in the door, she wants attention and to be close. She is the mom who always did and still does treat all of her children's friends as her own children. Growing up, all of our friends called her "mom," would come in the house without knocking (whether we were home or not) and have snack.
On the other hand, I am like a cat: when people are around I generally hide, I like being alone, and if you try to give me attention that I do not want..Lord help you.
I moved out of her house when I went to college and our relationship improved dramatically. She couldn't hover anymore, and I got the time to myself I had always wanted. Fast forward 6 years, I live 11 hours from her now, but our relationship is stronger than it has ever been. We talk on the phone multiple times a week sharing recipes, telling stories, talking about work and family. She is truly the most amazing person I know. I wouldn't have turned out okay if it weren't for her. My anger issues could have gotten me into a lot of trouble, but she was there for me regardless of how I treated her. My brothers and I all agree that the worst thing we can imagine doing is disappointing our mother, that's why, though we had a lot of freedom in our teen years (mostly because mom worked so much she couldn't really enforce rules had she made them), we never got into any real trouble.
The world would be an incredible place if everyone were raised by my mother.