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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Query letter help YA/Paranormal

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message 1: by Dalis (new)

Dalis (dalisandbooks) | 15 comments Dear (Insert Agent name),

I am seeking representation for my 90,000 word manuscript Rough Nights, a YA paranormal currently written as a stand alone but has the potential to be part of a trilogy.

Fifteen year old twins William and Charlie Hastings have been eagerly awaiting the day they'd turn into wolves for the first time. But instead of an epic run through the woods the brothers find themselves being dragged into a violent life their father has fought to keep them from. Cato, a ruthless businessman with virtually unlimited resources, has an unwavering determination to understand what they or how their existence is even possible. William learns that Cato has been using his father as his own personal hit man and now plans on using him for the same purpose. When Cato plans to tear the small pack of wolves apart for good, William is convinced that there is nothing left to lose. Despite Charlie’s urgent warnings William plans a daring rescue attempt. It’s a suicide mission that could lead to the small pack’s freedom or total annihilation.

I am a sophomore attending Humboldt State University majoring in English with an emphasis in literary studies. When I am not busy with school work or writing my own manuscript I crique and beta read for other aspiring authors.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to working with you.

Best wishes,
Odalis Ocampo

message 2: by Anthony (new)

Anthony Biondi | 5 comments First, a semantic note
"what they or how their existence is even possible." -awk phrasing

It's not a bad start, but I suggest you elaborate a few things. First of all, what is your novel doing, thematically, and in terms of marketing? It's clear your audience is YA, but be more specific.
I feel like I need more context for the story synopsis to make sense. Why do they turn into wolves? What pack?

Do you have any previous publishing history? Even if it's a few articles in a uni paper?

These are my thoughts.

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