Query: YA dystopian/scifi. UPDATED

[Rachel]

Hi.

(UPDATED)

WHEN SET ABLAZE (70.000 words) is a YA scifi/dystopian with a slight X-men feel to it, comparable to 'the Giver’ and containing references to ancient Greek and Roman history and mythology.

The story explores a future like ancient times: you take what you get. But in this case, wars are fought over what little fertile earth is left and what little people are left. How far are people willing to go to survive in this world?

The city of Troy went up in 1200 BC. Now, over 4000 years later, Soteria faces the same fate.

Sixteen-year-old Dawn Bellatoris is chosen as the Librarian’s apprentice.

Dawn now finds herself in the position to find out what happened to her father, who disappeared years ago. During her search for answers, Dawn is injected with a serum that gives her a set of fiery abilities which are difficult to control.

But Dawn is not the only one with abilities. From the city of Filasketes, supersoldiers come to Soteria with one thing in mind: revenge.
If this means they need to destroy and entire city and kill and enslave all of its people, then so it will be.

Will Soteria burn to ashes like Troy before it?

I’m a freelance author and artist trying to survive in today’s world. You’ll mostly find me on my laptop, either writing or drawing digitally. I’ve worked with a small printing-on-demand publisher before, but that was a bit of a flop, so I won’t get into detail about it. All I have to say about it is that I’ve learned how hard it is to reach the public, so I’m hoping to find an agent to help me achieve this.

Thank you for reading this query and I hope you find my manuscript interesting. The full manuscript is available upon request, should you want to see it.

Rachel

[Sarah]

I read a guide for query letters on a literary agents website- Pub Rants, and it seems maybe you have too much personal information in there? I'd take out the paragraph about your other hobbies. Make it about the book. Why does the agent want to read your sample? What other books would you compare it to?

I'd be cautious about talking about the other publishers you used and explaining what "Print on Demand" means. I'm sure they know- books are their business!

Here is a sample query letter from a published author on the Pub Rants website- maybe you'll find it useful: http://nelsonagency.com/2015/04/speci...

[Rachel]

Sarah wrote: "I read a guide for query letters on a literary agents website- Pub Rants, and it seems maybe you have too much personal information in there? I'd take out the paragraph about your other hobbies. Ma..."

Thank you!

I'll just leave the updated version here:

Dawn Bellatoris didn’t expect to be chosen as the Librarian’s apprentice and ends up living in the same building where her father disappeared years ago.
Elsewhere, Michael witnesses the abduction of his best friends by people he thought only existed in stories.

Now that she has the opportunity to find out the truth of her father’s disappearance, Dawn follows lead that brings her to a strange machine. This was one of the last things her father saw before he disappeared.
When a syringe comes out of the machine and stings her, Dawn is given a set of fiery abilities and two very obvious, glowing arms.

The Librarian has no other choice but to reveal what happened to Dawn’s father and takes her to Michael’s village.

Given new answers by the strange visitors, Michael goes out to search for his friend. What he finds instead raises many questions.

The people who abducted Michael’s friend are returning to the city of Soteria and its surrounding territory. But this time, they’re not alone.

When set Ablaze (68.000 words) is a YA scifi/dystopian novel set in a world that has rebuilt itself after a terrible war. It questions just how far we should go to keep peace and safety, which is a relevant question these days, especially in democracies.
Besides that, this book has a slight X-men-like feel to, has been compared to 'the Giver’ by readers as well as ‘Divergent’ and contains references to ancient Greek and Roman history and mythology.

My writing experience consists of working with one publisher that uses Printing on Demand. They published two middle grade books I wrote on Egyptian mythology.
Now that I have experienced the world of indie publishing and have learned from this, I would love to get into the world of traditional publishing. The main reason for this is because I find it hard to do so many things myself, like editing and promoting, and would appreciate any help I could get in this process.
Since I wrote of my first books, I have been reading and writing mostly YA, scifi and fantasy, working with critique partners and beta readers in the process.

Thank you for reading this query and I hope you find my manuscript interesting. The full manuscript is available upon request, should you want to see it.

[Vance]

No good at helping with the letter part but wanted to reassure you about dystopian. I've just had the third one of a dystopian series published, all in the last year.
Keep trying, your publisher is out there!

[Rachel]

Vance wrote: "No good at helping with the letter part but wanted to reassure you about dystopian. I've just had the third one of a dystopian series published, all in the last year.
Keep trying, your publisher is..."

Thanks for letting me know!