Risqué Titles

[Martin]

Many books have been published with titles, once innocuous, but which now raise a smile or a snigger. In the interests of starting some giggles, I offer:

The Coming of the Bridegroom
by Henry Alford (Dean of Canterbury); London: Hodder & Stoughton: 1882.

Please share your favourites, with author and date if possible.

[Will]

Not a book, but I always have a quiet little snigger about the movie "Carry on up the Khyber". I am sure the censors would have banned it if they understood Cockernee rhyming slang, gor blimey!

[Melki]

This one has made quite a name for itself -Cooking with Poo.

[Martin]

Melki wrote: "This one has made quite a name for itself -Cooking with Poo."

Excellent! I have added it to my list.

For a related gag, see my message 265 in the Jokes Topic.

[Guy]

How about The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice

[Martin]

Will wrote: "Not a book, but I always have a quiet little snigger about the movie "Carry on up the Khyber". I am sure the censors would have banned it if they understood Cockernee rhyming slang, gor blimey!"

The "Carry On" films, and Frankie Howard, seem to be the end of a golden era of British film comedy. It began with the Ealing comedies of the the post-war years: Passport to Pimlico (1949) to The Ladykillers (1955). I still cannot listen to Boccherini's Minuet without smiling.

With the collapse of the court case against Lady Chatterly, I think that the censors took a more relaxed attitute. I suspect that (unless they were friends or relatives of the formidable Mary Whitehouse) the censors were quietly wetting themselves with merriment. Who can forget Kenneth Williams' immortal lines: "Infamy, infamy! They've all got it in for me!"

[Martin]

Guy wrote: "How about The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice"

Many thanks, Guy. A Gold Medal entry!

[Joel]

Guy wrote: "How about The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice"

I've tried reading that one, on and off.

[Melki]

Joel wrote: "Guy wrote: "How about The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice"

I've tried reading that one, on and off."

But the ins and outs were unsatisfying?

[Martin]

Two more titles that made me smile:

Fun in the bush
by (the Rev?) Ernest Gray (United Reformed Church, 1989)

Pussy on the pump
by Alice E. Skelding (London: Stockwell: 1925)

[Craig]

I actually had the opposite of this experience. When it came to giving my book a title the only one that really fit it was Getting Lucky. This was the perfect title for the story but annoyingly when you search for it on Amazon you get dozens of raunchy romance novels with hunky men on the front cover. I had to be very clear in the blurb that this isn't THAT kind of book so as to avoid serious reader disappointment!

[Will]

Well, here's a happy coincidence. I came across this and thought of all of you...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-austr...

[Guy]

Sexual Analysis of Dickens' Props

[Martin]

Will wrote: "Well, here's a happy coincidence. I came across this and thought of all of you...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-austr..."

That's a hoot! Very Aussie.

[Guy]

Will wrote: "Well, here's a happy coincidence. I came across this and thought of all of you...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-austr..."

Incredible names. Only in Australia...

[Melki]

Guy wrote: "Incredible names. Only in Australia..."

Now we know what they're doing when they're not running from the incredibly poisonous wildlife.

[Rebecca]

Melki wrote: "Guy wrote: "Incredible names. Only in Australia..."

Now we know what they're doing when they're not running from the incredibly poisonous wildlife."

But we could guess that, right?

[Martin]

Wooden Hookers of Hobart Town
by Harry O'May (Tasmania: Government Printer: 1978)

I just noticed this one among a pile of books that my wife is using for an article she is writing. It is actually a book about the nineteenth century whale-hunt in the Pacific, and is bound in with "Whalers out of Van Diemen's Land". But why spoil a good joke?

[Guy]

Martin wrote: "Wooden Hookers of Hobart Town
by Harry O'May (Tasmania: Government Printer: 1978)

I just noticed this one among a pile of books that my wife is using for an article she is writing. It is actually ..."

So it's not about Hobart prostitutes with no personalities.

[Martin]

Guy wrote: "Martin wrote: "Wooden Hookers of Hobart Town
by Harry O'May (Tasmania: Government Printer: 1978) ...
... So it's not about Hobart prostitutes with no personalities. "

Nope. And any speculations about dangers from splinters will be frowned upon.

[Martin]

Penetrating Wagner's Ring
by DiGaetani, ed John Louis (Rutherford: Fairleigh Dickinson: 1978)

When The Guardian newspaper asked readers for their favourite unintentionally rude book titles, in 2010, this was voted one of the best.

[Guy]

Martin wrote: "Penetrating Wagner's Ring
by DiGaetani, ed John Louis (Rutherford: Fairleigh Dickinson: 1978)

When The Guardian newspaper asked readers for their favourite unintentionally rude book titles, in 201..."

I can see why.

[Martin]

Scouting for Boys
by Robert Baden-Powell (Pearson, 1910 and other editions)

Scouting for Girls
by Robert Baden-Powell (adapted from Girl Guiding)

Lord Baden-Powell and his boy-scout movement were very popular, but these titles can raise a snigger or two these days.

Also:

I’m a Beaver Scout
by Peter Brookes (Egmond Books: 1991)

[Melki]

Martin wrote: "Scouting for Boys
by Robert Baden-Powell (Pearson, 1910 and other editions)"

Interestingly enough, General Sir Robert Baden-Powell, founder of the staunchly anti-gay Boy Scouts, got his jollies photographing his young scouts swimming naked.

I learned this by reading Napoleon's Privates: 2,500 Years of History Unzipped . . . another book with an interesting title.

[Joel]

Melki wrote: "Martin wrote: "Scouting for Boys
by Robert Baden-Powell (Pearson, 1910 and other editions)"

Interestingly enough, General Sir Robert Baden-Powell, founder of the staunchly anti-gay Boy Scouts, got..."

I wonder what kind of merit badge you get for that? Or, for that matter, where you'd pin it?

[Guy]

Melki wrote: "Martin wrote: "Scouting for Boys
by Robert Baden-Powell (Pearson, 1910 and other editions)"

Interestingly enough, General Sir Robert Baden-Powell, founder of the staunchly anti-gay Boy Scouts, got..."

It sure is an interesting title. I had forgotten all about Napoleon's missing member.

[Martin]

Some more fun with bushes:

Women and the bush
by Kay Schaffer (Menzies Centre for Australian Studies: 1989)

Still in the bush
by Len Beadell (Adelaide: Rigby: 1976)

A hand in the bush
by Jane Clifton (Melbourne: Text Publishing: 2004/2005)

And others.... but these will do for now.

[Jay]

Martin wrote: "Some more fun with bushes: Women and the bush..."

Ah! So, that's what Australians are doing Outback!

[Rebecca]

Jay wrote: "Martin wrote: "Some more fun with bushes: Women and the bush..."

Ah! So, that's what Australians are doing Outback!"

Makes sense. What other entertainment is there out there?

[Martin]

To get away from bushes for a while, here are three more dodgy book titles:

She Blows! And Sparm at that!
By William John Hopkins (New York: Houghton Mifflin: 1922)

The Widow that keeps the Cock Inn. [A song.]
[London, 1846?]

The headless floating screw
by G.E. Osmond (High Wycombe: Osmond: 1940)

The last one sounds as though it might be an erotic murder mystery, involving a lake perhaps. I'm sorry to report that it is technical engineering!

[Martin]

Maybe this is topical?


The Lady Loses Her Hoop
by Leisa Graeme Wilson (Walter H Baker: 1934)

[Melki]

Steven wrote: "Of greater currency, there's the political satire, "Threeway."

Threeway: A Short Novel for a Long Season

https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-re..."

Just a reminder to authors new to the group - Please pimp your book/s in the writing section ONLY. Thanks.

[Martin]

As some of our ladies have objected to jokes about female anatomy, here are some book titles that were ambiguous in the other gender:

Chaucer's Cock, and other fables
by J.B. Brooks (Oxford: private printing: 1951)

Night of the Willies
by Troy Hitch & Neal D Aulick (University Classics, 1997)

Reuben Medlicott; or, the Coming Man
by M.W. Savage (London, 1852)

[Martin]

Here are three dodgy, but topical, book titles:

The Coming of Father Christmas
by Eliza Manning (London: Warne & Co: 1894)

Santa Claus is coming
by M. J. Rodgers (Toronto & New York: Harlequin: 1993)

Santa Claus and how he came again
by Elspeth (London: Sherratt & Hughes: 1912)

Pleasurable Seasonal Greetings to you all!

[Guy]

How about Semenology - The Semen Bartender's Handbook

[Martin]

It's time to appeal to our male members again. Here are three books whose titles are unintentionally rude:

Erection of the Comté de Coigny and Erection of the Duché de Coigny
by Hew Dalrymple, privately printed, 1911.

Willie the Watering Can
by Simon Hickes & Jill Brooks (Chart Books: 1995)

Wooden Willie
by J. Gruelle (Volland: Joliet: 1927)

[Martin]

As it is St David's day I thought that I ought to offer some Welsh books with unintentionally rude titles, but I do not know much Welsh, to my family shame. Instead I offer you three American books whose authors seem to have overlooked their alternative meaning:

Big Horn County
by Bruce H Blevins (Powell, Wyo: WIM Marketing: c 2000)

Young man with a horn.
by Dorothy Baker (Boston: Houghton Mifflin: 1938)

The Lady blows a Horn
By Nancy L Mohr & Nancy Penn Smith Hannum (Unionville: Sevynmor: 1995)

(from the old Cambrian trilobite)

[Martin]

Don't snigger: these authors might not have known the slang term for fellatio:

Dinah, blow your horn.
by Jack M Bickham (New York: Doubleday: 1979)

Lecture on Organ Blowing
by Hugh Swanton (London: Kinetic-Swanton: 1905)

Blowing Zen
by Ray Brooks (Tiburon CA: Kramer: c 2000)

[Martin]

Three more books with questionable titles:

Shagging in the Carolinas.
By John Hook (Charleston SC: Arcadia: 2005)

Shags has a dream.
by Gyo Fujikawa (Hodder Children's Books: 1981)

Shag, the story of a dog
by Thomas C. Hinkle (New York: Morrow: 1931)

Gleaned from library catalogues and booksellers' lists

[Joel]

Martin wrote: "Three more books with questionable titles:

Shagging in the Carolinas.
By John Hook (Charleston SC: Arcadia: 2005)

Shags has a dream.
by Gyo Fujikawa (Hodder Children's Books: 1981)

Shag, the sto..."

Good ones. Sadly, Americans think shag is a type of carpet. Which, you know, can have some funny implications in its own right.

[Martin]

Joel wrote: "Americans think shag is a type of carpet."

You're right, of course. I had forgotten that it's sexual meaning was mainly British slang. Shag-pile carpet was also quite popular on this side of the pond.

Then there is the sea-bird, similar to a cormorant. A few months ago an immature shag (bird) was seen roaming on foot around the seaside town of Whitby. It wandered into a shop, allowing one of the staff to tweet: "We had a shag in the shop today!"

[Will]

It may be a false memory, but I recall a joke (I think by Bette Midler): "You English are so quaint! You think a good screw is a conscientious prison officer."

[Martin]

I love it! May well have been Bette Midler - one of my wife's favourite actresses. I had not appreciated how bawdy her on-stage performances were. Mae West would be another possibility, but a google search fails to pin the joke down to either.

[Martin]

A few more unfortunate book titles, from a more innocent age:

Sacred poems and private ejaculations
by Henry Vaughan (London: Pickering: 1847)

Days and nights in the bush
William Gray (Sydney: Robert Dey: 1935)

My Darling Pussy: letters of Lloyd George & Frances Stevenson 1913-41
by A.J.P. Taylor (Ed.) (Weidenfeld & Nicholson: 1975)

[Lisa]

Joel wrote: "Good ones. Sadly, Americans think shag is a type of carpet. Which, you know, can have some funny implications in its own right.."

A shag is also a kind of hair cut -- hair on the head, hair cut.