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We're All In This Together Discussion
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"Were they truly dysfunctional or were they simply a portrayal of some of the things modern day families deal with? "This makes me laugh out loud: not many modern families need to deal with a mother figure that went over the falls......but I know that's not what's meant with the question; it did make me laugh, though.
I don't find the Parkers dysfunctional, as much as removed from each other. Modern families have to deal with all sorts of stresses and time management issues. In that way, the Parkers are like other modern families. What they did that caused the issues is that they didn't communicate problems as they arose. The individual members didn't have the data they needed as a family to move forward as a unit. By not communicating the important issues, they fragmented themselves.
"With so many complex characters in the novel, which one stood out to you the most? "
I don't think any of them really stood out. They are a jumbled mess and each had an equal part to share.
I ended up liking Kate and London the most, though.
I didn't like Katriina and found her character unnecessary (except that it made sense that Shawn married....that's what people do in life). I didn't buy into her story at all and it made me not pay a lot of attention to Shawn either. I didn't buy into the resolution of their issues either.
"Do you feel that the characters tried to keep things from one another, such as Walter keeping the incident with Kate hushed up, or do you think that the issues were in plain sight and they willfully ignored them?
They kept things from each other.
Walter & Kate knew about her condition and they told no one. This is something that people discuss as a family to prepare everyone and to ensure that everyone is "in the loop". It's important and they told no one. That decision led to other lies and omissions to hide what was happening.
Throughout their life together, Walter and Kate kept things from each other. They started out like that as kids. They were never completely open with each other. I'm not sure how or why they got together in the end. It's a life of deceit and avoidance. They passed this ability of secrecy onto their children, who probably thought it was the normal thing to do and how to deal with life.
I think a few characters kept some things secret on purpose, like Katriina and Nikki. Other secrets weren't actually secret from anyone and they all just ignored what was going on. I think Kate's degeneration was something everyone knew and were in denial about. They all tried to keep the extent of her issues from each other. I imagine they were trying to protect Kate and also to protect each other from worrying about Kate. This is likely why Kate had to do something that no one could ignore or keep secret and she certainly succeeded!
Do you feel that the characters tried to keep things from one another, such ..."I think that there is some of both happening. They definitely keep things from each other but not everything from everyone. I'm thinking about the scene on the boat when Katriina's cuts are bleeding and Walter notices and gestures so that Shawn wouldn't notice. To me it seemed like Walter knew about the cutting but possibly not Shawn.
I think Walter was the best at secrets and seemed to know what was happening with everyone but didn't share - maybe just always being in the background he wasn't noticed and the other family members didn't realize he could see them.
Penguin Random House Canada wrote: "Do you feel that the characters tried to keep things from one another, such as Walter keeping the incident with Kate hushed up, or do you think that the issues were in plain sight and they willfully ignored them? ."I don't think they purposely tried to keep things from one another but rather that they had no communication skills. It started with the parents, who themselves didn't seem to communicate all that well, and filtered its way down.
Louise wrote: "I just finished it. I don't think I loved it as much as others here; to me it was just okay. I did like Kate and London, but none of the other characters were very likeable and some where downright..."Totally agree with you, I enjoyed the first 100 pages then it just became to extreme for me, that this whole family each one was absolute mess. The adding of extra characters I did not enjoy either.
London was very well portrayed and Kate as well.
Mod
I want to know: which scene really stood out the most to everyone? Finn and Nicki looking for London and Kate? Katriina at the Paulsson place? Or an entirely different one? Let me know!
Penguin Random House Canada wrote: "I want to know: which scene really stood out the most to everyone? Finn and Nicki looking for London and Kate? Katriina at the Paulsson place? Or an entirely different one? Let me know! ..."The scene that stands out the most for me, is when Kate is driving London to Duluth but has no idea where they are going, or why, and how her thought process is working at that point. How her memory slides in and out.
I loved London and Kate on the boat looking for the shark. I was completely surprised when they actually found it! I didn't think it existed at all and when it did appear it was completely strong and healthy, despite being out of it's element. That moment when London sees that it's doing just fine was awesome!
It seemed that most knew about the issues going on with Kate and prefered to deny that anything was going on. It appeared to be hard for any of them to talk about the subject whenever it was brought up by Finn. Also, each character thought that they knew what the motives were behind each family members actions however they were often proved incorrect in the following chapter.
The one that stood out the most for me was Katriina in her new house performing self-harm. I thought that was the bleakest, saddest scene.
Penguin Random House Canada wrote: "I want to know: which scene really stood out the most to everyone? Finn and Nicki looking for London and Kate? Katriina at the Paulsson place? Or an entirely different one? Let me know! ..."I agree with Susan. I thought this scene on the boat, looking for the shark and the realization that a creature could be healthy when out of its element was wonderful and really stood out for me.
The scene solidified, I think, everything that was occurring in this book. Everyone in this book was out of their element in some way, yet they continued to survive and thrive, as individuals and as a family unit.
I agree with Susan and Petra. The scene of Kate and London on the boat discovering the shark was very memorable. It is the scene that captured the message of this wonderful story.
Did anyone else find it odd how Kate's cancer and following mastectomy was glossed over? It is barely mentioned so why mention it at all? To drive home the point how this family ignored serious issues?
Louise wrote: "Did anyone else find it odd how Kate's cancer and following mastectomy was glossed over? It is barely mentioned so why mention it at all? To drive home the point how this family ignored serious iss..."I kind of forgot about that story line. I think maybe it was there to solidify Shawn's place in the family and help explain his continued presence.
I believe that the family had a communication issue and used passive methods for coping with their individual and familial crisis. Not intentional, seemingly had poor role models for honest communication starting with Walter and Kate and learned behavior by all from there.
I agree with Heather, I think that Shawn's fate as a "Parker" became real when he became Kate's caregiver during her cancer and treatment. It gave him purpose and a way of "giving back" to the woman who showed him love and made him part of her family.
I agree about a memorable scene being Kate and London finding the shark. It was a magical moment that was so symbolic of the Parkers in general.
I also found the scene where Shawn finds Katriina's post-it notes to be very memorable. Something about all of those "be better" post-it notes on the inside of cupboard doors in a house that she accidentally bought... it just was such a powerful image and a devestating look at what was going on with her.
I also found the scene where Shawn finds Katriina's post-it notes to be very memorable. Something about all of those "be better" post-it notes on the inside of cupboard doors in a house that she accidentally bought... it just was such a powerful image and a devestating look at what was going on with her.
I cannot choose a stand out scene as there are several that I appreciated, many that have already been discussed. Kate and Walter holding hands at the end was memorable and provoked and emotional sigh. A little too late perhaps? Alas I was relieved that husband and wife were together at the end.
I just finished the book. I liked the multiple characters and storylines. I also liked getting multiple perspectives on some of the key points in the relationships of the various characters. As I read through the book, I was sympathetic to each of the characters at some points and frustrated with their actions at other times. All of them have their own ‘stuff’ to deal with: struggling to fit in, figuring out what they want in life, health problems, and relationship issues. At the same time, they all do love one another deep-down, even if it does not always show on the surface.The characters that stood out the most for me were Kate, Katriina and Shawn. I liked reading about Kate’s trip to Europe and I was interested in Shawn and Katriina’s story. I also liked the Thunder Bay setting.
I agree with others that wrote the family dynamics go back to Kate and Walter’s relationship and their methods of coping. Walter described how it seemed like Kate suppressed part of herself when she stayed home to be a wife and mother and he was absent a lot when the kids were growing up because he couldn’t bear to see her like that. I think that he became more of an observer in the family because he did not want to upset the fragile situation and drive Kate away from him. He had no say when Shawn came to live with them and had to accept it or leave. Kate and Walter never talked about why she would disappear or what she did, so it is not that surprising to me that as her dementia worsened, no one really talked about it.
Mod
What did everyone think of the ending? Was it a good way to wrap up the novel?
Penguin Random House Canada wrote: "Shawn being adopted into the family and slowly coming into the role of son and brother. ..."Shawn's role was interesting. He fit/didn't fit into the family in different ways than the rest of them.
Throughout the book, his adoption is often mentioned. It's as if he's a Parker-but-not-a-Parker. The resolution at the end is for him to move away; as if to show that he's really Not-a-Parker-but-still-a-Parker. There seems to be a distance in his inclusion in the family...yet not; it's very subtle. (not sure if that makes sense)
It's as if he's accepted as a family member but neither he nor the Parkers still see him as not a "real" member of the family, although they accept and love him as such. A bit of a conundrum.
I thought the ending was perfect. I really liked London's final words "It's okay. I do" when speaking of the memory of Lydia. It showed such love, understanding and tenderness towards Kate. No judgement; just total acceptance. In the end, that's what family is all about (although it doesn't often happen with such completeness). It was a lovely end.
I absolutely loved the ending. It showed all of the love and support for each other that seemed to be absent or hidden throughout so much of the book. (It actually brings me back to that first question about if the Parkers were a dysfunctional family. All through the book, I was thinking yes. But by the end, I changed my mind and viewed them more as a loving family who just happened to have a lot of issues and stressors to work through.)
I agree that the ending was perfect. It's inevitable that Kate will deteriorate but she's in good hands with her family, especially London. London sometimes came off as a bratty teenager but she's actually the most understanding when it comes to Kate. I imagine hearing her whole life story really brought them closer and let London empathize with her grandma.
The ending was great. I particularly enjoyed the scene of the two sisters 'stealing' the barrel and pushing it over the cliff. Finn and Nicki are finally united in this symbolic act.
Mod
If you want to get in on the next one keep an eye out for our September Book Club pick: The Couple Next Door. It's a wild thriller that will constantly keep you on the edge of your seat. Good luck putting it down! If you want to get your hands on a copy enter our Goodreads Giveaway and maybe you'll win one!
Giveaway here:
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...
Thanks again everyone and happy reading!
Thanks for another great book club pick! I really enjoyed reading this one. Waiting for the next book to be announced is a bit like waiting for Christmas for me :) Fingers crossed I win the next - I'm #151 on the local library hold list and #6 on the digital library....unlikely I'll get this book before the end of Sept.
Penguin Random House Canada wrote: "And that's a wrap! Good discussion, everyone! You all had wonderful thoughts about We're All in this Together, thank you for participating. As always we have a great gift for all those that took ti..."When does the September book starts?
Thanks for another great discussion and phenomenal book! Looking forward to the September discussion (there are around 400 people ahead of me at the library for the ebook, so I'm not holding my breath that a copy will come in on time, but the book looks amazing).
Thank you for the good read and the book. I really enjoyed this discussion.
Thanks PRHC and all participants for another great discussion! I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to reading September's book - I expect it will be a terrific read.
Huge thanks for hosting the discussion and promoting a great story! Looking forward to the next one!
I didn't feel the characters tried to keep things from one another of purpose they are just like most family's who don't talk about important things, thinking if you don't talk about it, it isn't happening, that way bad things can be ignored.
I'm 286 on the waiting list at my library, not sure what number on the eBook waiting list, but I sure I won't be getting it any time soon so hoping I win a book.
I am 2nd in line for the ebook and 7th in line for the audiobook. I do wish we'd get more time to get the book. Could the books not be announced a month earlier?
Penguin Random House Canada wrote: "And that's a wrap! Good discussion, everyone! You all had wonderful thoughts about We're All in this Together, thank you for participating. As always we have a great gift for all those that took ti..."Thanks for having me as a part of this discussion. The next pick sounds amazing.
The new book to be discussed is certainly sounding like a very popular book! I think there are about 80 people ahead of me for at the library so, like many others, unless I win a copy I will have to miss out on this discussion. Or maybe I will treat myself and buy it, lol. I do agree with Louise though, it would be nice to have more advanced notice of which book will be next...
it's available on iBooks for 13.99 or you can read a sample for free. I downloaded the sample and it reads so far so good... i am waiting to either win it or buy a copy.
Ammar wrote: "it's available on iBooks for 13.99 or you can read a sample for free. I downloaded the sample and it reads so far so good... i am waiting to either win it or buy a copy."If you are Scribd, it is available there as an audiobook. This is the first time one of the selections has been on Scribd, so I'm quite excited.
I think they definitely were trying to hide issues from one another. They also seemed blind to their own proclivities to affect circumstances. This and the fact that they have not totally resolved everything by the end of the novel makes me eager to read another Jones' book with these same characters and themes.
Hi all, I was just wondering if anyone has received their gift for participating in this discussion? I've been on vacation for the last 3 weeks so I was wondering if it's my mail that's been screwed up, or things just haven't arrived yet.Thanks a lot!
@Chandi I have not received anything as of yet either. I look forward to a suprize book in the mail!
Thanks for responding Wanda! Phew at least there's nothing wrong with my mail service.
Thank you, Penguin Random House! I received my participation gift this afternoon. I won't mention the title so as not to spoil it for everyone else.
Thank you again! I will be reading this soon.
I got mine this afternoon too! Thanks Penguin Random House!
Received my gift book today. Thank you very much.
Still haven't received anything yet...can't wait!
Received my gift book yesterday. Wonderful; thank you!
Received my gift book today- did the happy dance!
I didn't find the logic flowed well at times and there were jumps in mind-set and action that were a bit jerky (not smooth). For example, the story of Shawn & Katriina and how it ended. I see what the author had in mind but it didn't fit well into what we knew about Shawn or Katriina and the ending didn't seem to fit their story.
All in all, a pleasant read and an enjoyable one if one goes with the flow of it all and doesn't think too much about the seemingly jumpy thought processes of some of the characters.
A couple of the characters seemed unnecessary. They didn't add anything to the story that couldn't have been added in some other way (Tanya and Adam).
My favorite characters were Kate and London. Although the story made Finn the main character, I felt that the story really revolved around these two.