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Betsy's Writing > Opening Chapter

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message 1: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Calder (tigerlilly324) | 7 comments This is the first chapter of a book I have been working on. It isn't much but I've been trying to set the mood and scene. Comments would be appreciated.

The trail head separated at the top of a gentle rise, leading in opposite directions where upon the little group parted company. Waving to the others, a singular young woman branched off alone. Oh man, this is going to be a piece of cake! From a vantage point above, he watched her follow the coffee colored trail leading further into a grove of young loblolly pines and outcroppings of massive, moss covered boulders. As the trail began to narrow, the young woman reduced her pace.
His large, callused palm soundlessly pushed aside an impeding branch he observed her progress as she trotted along the trail. As predicted, a light blue outfit covered her slender frame. Slowly, silently letting the twig fall back in place, he moved stealthily down a slight incline along a perpendicular path set to intersect hers. Arriving at the crossroad simultaneously, she let out a startled shriek.
“Oh, so sorry, Miss,” he smirked a little, consciously sizing her up. “Didn't mean to frighten you. Didn't see you.”
With a hand to her chest, she replied nervously, taking a guarded step back. “No, no it's okay. I wasn't looking.”
“Guess I wasn't either. Sure you're okay?”
“Yes...yes, I'm fine.”
“Okay. Well, sorry again.” Reassured, the man passed behind her, continuing his walk up the rise towards the trail head as she continued on her way.
Reaching the top of the knoll, he glanced over his shoulder at the blue dressed figure fading from view, allowing a sinister smile to play around his lips. The wheels were in motion.

message 2: by Alex (new)

Alex Rushmer | 12 comments Ooh, this is so exciting! I really like what you have going so far. You have so much intrigue in this. I want to know what that guy is up to and what the girl's mission is. It's a very good beginning, just a few minor grammar/spelling issues. I hope you post more. :P

message 3: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Calder (tigerlilly324) | 7 comments Thank you Alex. I appreciate your feedback.
I may post more soon now that I have my real computer back.

message 4: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Calder (tigerlilly324) | 7 comments Written in response to a prompt: "She doesn't know me, but..."

If I Close My Eyes

If I close my eyes, I vividly remember the first time I gazed upon her lovely face as she lightly grasped my wrist, checking my pulse in the military hospital ward. Unconsciously, she brushed a stray strand of straw colored hair behind one ear; such a simple fluid gesture. Noticing my steadfast gaze, she smiled with such youthful radiance, I knew my heart would forever belong to her.
If I close my eyes and breathe deeply, I can still smell the sweet fragrance of perfume the first time I asked her to dance. With her hand in my hand, I led her to the dance floor as the orchestra began a long, slow waltz. With her head tucked close, the intoxicating blend of jasmine and rose carried me away until only the two of us remained. The magic of that night stays with me to this day.
If I close my eyes and listen, her lilting laughter once again fills my soul. It is the sound I heard when I proposed to her bent upon one knee. It is the melody I remember as she tossed the wedding bouquet. It is the music that filled our daily lives and made dark days so much brighter and what I long to hear again.
Every day I visit her, sitting quietly, holding hands. Some days are better than others, but most are not. I have become the keeper of our past and show pictures of our children and grandchildren with the fervent hope one may spark a glimmer of recognition if only for a moment. She stares without seeing or knowing, a helpless prisoner of Alzheimer’s. She does not know me, but when I open my eyes, she remains and always will be the woman who holds my heart forever.

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