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Critique Partners and Swaps > Epic Fantasy Swap

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message 1: by Donald (new)

Donald Schlaich (don_schliach) | 5 comments I have a epic fantasy story that is in need of feedback to help fine-tune the characters and plot. It's already been given a first pass, but my normal beta readers aren't able to help me out anymore (new kid).

I have plenty of time to read and critique, and hope to help someone turn good to great.

Please message me on Goodreads.

message 2: by Manavv (new)

Manavv (authormanav) | 7 comments 12,000 words

message 3: by Donald (new)

Donald Schlaich (don_schliach) | 5 comments 120k words

message 4: by Kayla (new)

Kayla Barber-Perrotta | 8 comments Hi Donald,

I have a 109k word YA Fantasy that I am looking for feedback on. The premise is as follows:

Cassie and her parents have never gotten along. As the perpetual new girl in school she's never had a chance to meet friends or make a name for herself. Her only solace is in abandoned buildings who's memories are stuck in time. But when an accident leads to the man in the charcoal suit informing her she is a magic wielding fairy kidnapped by exiled demons, her entire world is turned upside down. Introduced to Havenforth, a magical kingdom, she thinks she's finally found home, but the "good understanding of magic" fairies soon make it clear that as a foundling Cassie is little better than the demons who raised her. What began as a fairy tale soon becomes a race against time as the conflict between demons and fairies becomes more heated, and the only parents she's ever known face imminent execution. Can Cassie find her true identity in time to save her parents?

I've had family do some read throughs and about 2/3 of it got the help of a first read from a beta before school got in her way, but the feedback wasn't as detailed as I had hoped. She mostly stuck to typos when I was really looking for feedback on characters, plot, and flow. If you are interested, email me at

message 5: by Christian (new)

Christian Nadeau | 13 comments Hi Donald,

I've never beta read before, but I'd be willing to give it a try.

My own book (in the editing process right now) is at roughly 250k words.

Its Epic/Dark Fantasy.

400 years ago, mankind was slave to the Vhaells, but a bloody rebellion changed the world forever as humans claimed their freedom from their masters with sword and sorcery.

Now, mankind is led by the militaristic Brotherhood of Khan, the man who once led mankind to freedom, Sorcery has been labeled as a heresy and the Brotherhood uses fear of the Vhaells to rule undisputed.

Marac is a former assassin, living off odd jobs on the streets, laying low to avoid attention. When he gets hired by a hunted man to steal a trinket and accompany his client into Fey territory, things quickly spiral out of control.

Alex is a young Lightbearer. Gifted with the power to bend heat and light to her will, she is helpless to prevent the massacre of the hidden monastery where she spend her last few years. As she fled, she'd been given an important task though, she has to warn other Ezekan monasteries that the Darkbearers have gathered their strength and that they're a threat once more.

Soren is a young officer of the Brotherhood of Khan, the first major noble to enlist. As he graduates, he's given the task of hunting down collaborators of a heretic who was recently sighted in Tyranor. As he starts investigating, he soons find out there is more to that heretic's tale than what he'd been told.

If that sounds interesting, let me know!

Best regards,


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