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Noelle & Amber
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Zeke lifted his head from Nick's shoulder and shook his head. With the hand opposite of the shoulder Nick had his head on he ran his hand through Nick's hair and wiped his brother's cheeks. "No don't talk like that. We cans help who we fall in love with," he murmured. "Not many people fall in love with their brother but it's okay that you did. I'm sorry I can't return it," he added. And even if he could it wasn't as if they could have a relationship. Their parents were excepting of any sexuality but them being a couple? That would be a definite no go. He ran his hand through Nick's hair a few more times. He could remember doing it when Nick was younger if he was sick.
Nick knew that it wasn't actually okay. If their parents knew, they'd probably throw him out and no one in the world condones sibling relationships. But Nick couldn't help that he loved Zeke. He always wondered if he was supposed to with another family so loving Zeke never seemed as wrong but he honestly wouldn't trade families for the world. At least he got to see Zeke everyday and spend time with him. Nick squeezed his eyes shut and relaxed a little as Zeke continued to hold him. Moments like those were what he craved from him but he knew it wasn't why he wanted them. "Zeke, if I wasn't your brother, would you love me?" Nick asked softly, opening his eyes and staring down at the floor. He was curious but he also didn't want Zeke to lie to try and humor him or make him happy.
Zeke thought about the question. He mulled it over, not saying anything for a while. "Yeah. I think I would love you. But I don't know if we would have met if you weren't my brother. We are two really different people. You have a lot of the qualities I look for in the people I date, though. So yeah, I think I would," he nodded.After a few more strokes to Nick's hair he gave his brother a little squeeze and pulled himself up. "Come on," he said softly and offered his hand to Nick to help him up from the floor.
((Sorry it's short.))
Nick somehow felt a little relieved by Zeke's answer. It felt good to know that if things had been different, Zeke might have loved him. He looked up at his brother and picked up his inhaler before taking Zeke's hand, hauling himself to his feet. "I really am sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to make you panic," he said, sticking his hands in his pockets as he looked up at him. It was gonna take a lot to get over Zeke's rejection but hopefully he could do it. Nick gave Zeke a smile before going back into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. When the door was shut, his smile fell and he tossed his inhaler on his dresser.
"It's okay," Zeke had replied before Nick had stepped away. He knew his brothers fake smile when he saw it but he didn't address it. He went downstairs instead and grabbed an apple before heading back up to his room. He glanced at Nick's door one last time before he slipped into his own room, closing the door behind him.He hopped on the bed and flipped through channels. After finding nothing he looked to his door, wanting to grab Nick and go do something but deciding against it because he didn't think his brother would want to. He didn't want to live like this everyday. But he figured he should just give Nick some space for a while.
Nick sat on his bed and ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. Normal hand and Zeke would do something together but he didn't think it was the best idea. Nick grabbed his phone and began playing a random game, trying to distract himself from his thoughts but it only worked temporarily until he stopped playing again. Nick sighed as he set his phone to the side and he plopped back on his bed. He knew Zeke didn't hate him for loving him and certainly wasn't trying to treat him any different still Nick couldn't help but wonder if somewhere, Zeke thought he was crazy or gross or something for loving his brother.
((You can skip whenever you want.))
((Zeke realizing he does love Nick or anything else you want. Unless you want to do this day by day.))
It'd been a week and a half and Zeke still hadn't gotten many words in with Nick. He hated it. Absolutely hated it. He felt like he was being torn apart. He'd never really realized how close to his brother he was until he was driving home from a game and all he wanted to do was celebrate with his brother. But it was late and he was gross from playing. So when he meandered inside he went straight to the shower.When he was done he was laying on his bed looking up at the ceiling. Then suddenly it clicked. He jumped up and practically ran from his room to his brother's. He pushed the door open. "Nick," he said, standing in the doorway.
Nick had been avoiding Zeke for the past week and a half. He knew that anything they talked about wouldn't be comfortable. It would just be awkward. How could you not feel awkward if you knew that your brother loved you in the wrong way? So, he'd stayed away. As much as he could anyways. Nick had still ridden back and forth to and from school with Zeke so he didn't panic buy otherwise, nothing. Nick looked up from his bed as he did his homework when Zeke pushed open his bedroom. "Yeah?" he said, playing with the pencil in his hands before tossing in front of him. Nick wondered what Zeke wanted.
Zeke took a deep breath. It was all rushing to him now and he was about to go through this too for the first time. He didn't know how to say it. He closed the door behind him. Their parents weren't home and wouldn't be home but he didn't want to take any chances. He ran his hand through his hair and wondered how to do this."I-I," he paused. He looked down before looking back up. He took another deep breath. "I don't know if I love you. But I.... Oh screw it," he muttered. He walked over to Nick and counted to three, then went with it. He put his hand on his brother's cheek and bent down, gently brushing his lips over his brother's.
Nick's brow furrowed when Zeke couldn't seem to articulate whatever he was trying to say. When Zeke kissed him though, he couldn't think of anything. He was shocked and wondered if maybe... No, that would be cruel to tease him like that. Nick responded, softly kissing him back but that's all he did. Whatever this was, he didn't want to scare Zeke away. Nick pulled away after a moment, looking up at Zeke with wide eyes. His heart was racing and he really couldn't believe what had just happened. "Zeke..." he whispered but really wasn't sure what to say. What could you say after your brother had just kissed you? Hadn't Zeke said not even two weeks ago that he didn't return the feelings? Was Zeke playing with him?
Zeke stood straight again and nervously ran his hands through his hair. "I um... I sorta realized that I do have feelings... I just didn't know until we weren't talking to each other... I uh. Um sorry," his words got quieter with each fragment he spoke. He looked down to the ground and turned away, afraid of what his brother would say.Would Nick reject him now? Because he had rejected him before? This whole thing was scary. With his back to Nick and sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair again, his habit for everything. He had a lot of adrenaline too. It wasn't every day you mustered up the courage to kiss your brother.
Nick bit his lip as he felt his heart squeeze. He slid off his bed and went around to Zeke. He grabbed his older brother's hands. "Zeke, I love you. You know that but I... I just want to make sure you aren't making yourself think you have feelings. I don't want something to happen and you suddenly realized you were wrong," Nick said, his brow furrowed. He felt like the older brother now. Nothing would hurt more than thinking Zeke felt the same only to figure out he hadn't actually felt that way. Nick got on his toes to push himself up to kiss Zeke's cheek. He dropped back onto the flat of his feet and squeezed Zeke's hand. Nick knew exactly how he felt. He'd said those words almost two weeks ago.
"No... That's not it," Zeke replied. "I do have feelings for you Nick. And I don't know if it's love yet and I'm sorry for that because I do know that you love me. But I definitely have feelings for you," he added. He squeezed Nick's hand back in return, needing the small amount of comfort it brought him.This was all so crazy. How did it happen? How were they going to go about it? What would happen once Zeke went to college? He had a lot of questions that he didn't want to think about right now but knew he would have to eventually. He couldn't ignore them forever.
Nick nodded. "Okay. I understand. Don't feel bad though. Okay?" he said, looking up at him with a soft smile on his face. Nick wanted desperately to be with his brother but he was clearly scared. And confused and Nick didn't want to make that worse. He gave Zeke a brief hug before playfully attempting to push him out of his room. "Now, I have homework and I'm sure you're tired, so go," Nick said, moving to shut the door behind him. He smiled softly at Zeke. "I love you," he murmured before quietly shutting the door. Nick didn't expect Zeke to say it back. Not then and not for a while, if ever honestly.
Zeke nodded and went to say something but Nick had already disappeared. He was tired after his game so he went back into his room and pulled himself into bed. But when he was back to laying in bed he looked up at the ceiling again and it took him a long time to fall asleep. When he woke up in the morning he dressed and jogged downstairs. He threw some ego waffles in the toaster and started munching on an apple, his go to fruit that he oddly didn't even like that much for how much he ate it. Thankfully today was a Saturday. He loved Saturday's. No school was the best for him.
Nick had attempted to study some more after Zeke was gone but he couldn't focus and decided just to sleep. He set everything aside and crawled into bed, staring at the wall that his bed was pushed up against. He fell asleep as he wondered how this was all going to work out. Nick woke up late that morning. Hardly ever did Zeke get up before him. But he pulled himself out of bed and trudged to the bathroom, waking himself with a shower. When he was finished, he put on some clothes and went downstairs. "Hey," he said as he passed by Zeke as he went to the kitchen. He grabbed a bowl of grapes from the fridge and popped a few in his mouth.
Zeke looked at the clock, thinking it was odd for Nick not to be up yet but he figured last night was... emotional? At least for him it was. He was still sitting on the counter when Nick came down. Only now his apple was gone and he was munching on his waffle. "Hi," he replied with a small smile. He reached over to the coffee pot and poured some into a mug. "What's on your agenda for today?" he questioned and brought the mug up to his lips and took a sip. The warm liquid slipping down his throat made him smile.
Nick gave a light shrug as he munched on a few more grapes, setting the bowl down in front of him on the counter. He had to force himself to not look at Zeke quite so differently. Nick wasn't sure if his brother knew how much last night changed just about everything. But Nick was trying not to get overly excited, he didn't want to push Zeke away unintentionally. Nick had been toying with the idea of seeing if Zeke wanted to go do something with him like they did nearly every weekend but he wasn't sure if Zeke would see that as him pushing himself on him or just plain weird after having barely talked to Zeke for almost two weeks.
"Do you want to go do something with me?" Zeke questioned. "I don't really have anything planned but there might be a cool movie out or something," he added afterwards. He put his mug down and traded it for his waffle again. He always over toasted them because he liked them to crunch when he bit into them. When the waffle was gone he picked his coffee up again and sat with it in his hands. He watched Nick carefully. He was nervous as all hell. Now would it be brotherly or not? He had a lot of unanswered questions that couldn't be answered with words but through experiencing things.
Nick nodded, his eyes visibly lighting up at the suggestion. He made himself settle down though. "Yeah. We can do that," Nick replied, pushing a hand through his still damp hair before chomping down on another handful of grapes. Nick put the bowl away before he ate the whole thing and grabbed a bottle of his favorite juice. No, he wasn't five. Nick was honestly relieved that Zeke had the courage to ask something as simple as going to see a movie. It had taken him three years to tell Zeke he loved him, there was no way he'd be able to ask such a thing as that, no matter how easy. "I don't care what we do so its up to you," Nick said to Zeke as he glanced up at him, popping the cap off of his bottle.
Zeke nodded at his brother's words. "Let's go to the movies then," he nodded. The movies was safe. There wasn't talking so he didn't have to decipher whether it was brotherly or not. He put his mug in the sink and put the toaster away before jogging back up to his room. He grabbed a hat out of his closet and threw it on backwards before going back downstairs. "Whenever you're ready," he called to Nick before grabbing his keys. He looked to the door and anxiously taped his fingers against his arm. He was still a little hungry since his waffles didn't really fill him up but he figured they could grab lunch afterwards.
"Alright," he replied after Zeke had rushed upstairs. He felt like this was something he could screw up. But how could he screw up a movie with his brother? Nick shook his head at himself and went up to the bathroom, quickly brushing his teeth. He sighed and ran a jittery hand through his hair before going downstairs, slipping his phone into his pocket. "I'm ready," Nick said as he walked to Zeke. Nick followed Zeke out to his car and slid into the passenger seat, buckling himself in. He glanced over at Zeke and his heart fluttered. Call it cheesy but the fact that Zeke could possibly love him, made him even more giddy and nervous around Zeke. Nick didn't want to fuck something up and ruin anything.
((Sorry I was at a camp and sorry it's so short.))Zeke pulled away from the house and started driving to the theatre. He was quiet for a few moments. "What do you want to see?" he questioned. He wasn't even sure what was out. Between football and other stuff he never seemed to be home and never watched any TV really. "I'm up for anything really," he added afterwards.
Nick stayed silent, staring right ahead as Zeke drove until he spoke. "Umm... What if we saw the new Ghostbusters movie? I hear it's really good," he answered, looking over at Zeke then glancing back out the car window. He fidgeted with his seatbelt as they finally made it to the theater. Nick got out of the car and stretched lightly. He looked back over at his brother and smiled softly. Nick followed Zeke inside the building. He patted his pockets as he attempted to locate his wallet, thinking he was going to pay for his own ticket and made a face when he realized he left it at home. "Zeke, I forgot my wallet at home. Do you mind paying for my ticket? I'll pay you back when we get home," he said, giving him an apologetic look.
"Yeah Ghostbusters is fine," Zeke nodded. When he pulled himself out of the car he headed toward the ticket area. "You don't have to pay me back," he flashed a smile. After buying both tickets he handed his brother one and went inside. "Did you want popcorn or candy? Anything like that?" he asked as he walked inside and smelled the salt and butter in the air. He looked for which room their movie would be playing in and waited for a reply from Nick. He was a bit distracted, people kept saying hi to him and he just nodded in reply. He didn't really want to talk to anyone. Zeke would much rather just focus on his brother with the things happening between them.
Nick took the ticket with a grateful smile then shook his head. "No, I'm good. I'm not hungry right now," he answered as he followed Zeke. He stood back quietly as Zeke was greeted by all kinds of people. Mostly kids who were probably from school. Oh the disadvantages of having a popular older brother. "So, which room is our movie in?" he asked Zeke after it seemed like the onslaught of people had finally dissipated. He looked back at his ticket for the room number then looked up at the signs hanging up. "There. 16," he pointed up at one of the signs. Nick had found this trip to be only slightly awkward from the start. He hoped it stayed at only slightly awkward though. He didn't want the whole trip to just be engulfed in weird silences and side glances.
Nick closed his eyes and his head fell back on Zeke's shoulder as a tears slipped down the side of his face. "It's not your fault, Zeke. You're not the one who caused this. Any of it. I am. The one who can't see the difference between family and a love interest," Nick said softly. It had all fallen apart so fast. They had been fine that morning. Just two brothers. Only one was screwed up in the head. Him. I should have kept it to myself, he thought.