Writer's Aid discussion

6 views
Sara's Stories > Chapter One!!!!

Comments Showing 1-3 of 3 (3 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Sssara (new)

Sssara B. ~


message 2: by Sssara (new)

Sssara B. I'll post the first part, in a little bit, tell me if I gets too much like Pretty Little Liars


message 3: by Sssara (new)

Sssara B. Ok, so remember, I haven't edited this yet, so please to tell me I made grammar mistakes, or anything like that, just tell me plot holes, and stuff like that! Thanks! Here's the first chapter I guess



Carmen--

Carmen stared at herself through the mirror, on the Monday morning. The third week of school, and she already was tried of it, but she still threw that smile on her tanned face.

Still in her pajamas (just sport shorts and s extra large T-shirt.) Carmen slumped downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. Of course her mother, Cora Ardeni, was already dressed in a nice suited top, with a navy blue pencil skirt, and making breakfast.

She prepared the breakfast in such a way that it was almost pure perfection. The eggs were never runny in the Ardeni house, and they have never even heard of burnt toast.

"This looks lovely, mom!" Carmen said in her sweetest voice.

"Hurry up and eat it, I have to leave for the station in ten." Her mother replied.

Cora worked at the Mormont (Mormont is the town that they live in) Police Station. She definitely wasn't a police officer, she filed reports into a computer. But still, she had to be at work every day at 8:00.

Carmen ate her food in a hurry once she noticed the time, 7:30.

"Oh no! I must of slept in!" She ran upstairs and grabbed her bathroom bag. She had to be at the school at 8:00 also.

She dashed into her bathroom, through the door of her room. Having a private bathroom is awesome.

Well, it's too late for a shower she thought to herself. Carmen brushed her brown hair and added dry shampoo.

"I think this is the stuff Taylor suggested." Carmen mumbled to herself. She threw on a a patterned black shirt, and a neon pink, poofy skirt. Neon pink was the best in her opinion. Lastly, she slipped on some black heels. "All ready." She whispered to herself.

Then, Carmen's phone beeped. She dashed over to read her text.

Me and the girls are pulling into your house, where are you? -Taylor.

She quickly replied, on my way! Scooping up her blue and brown backpack, she scurried out to her driveway.

"Wait!" She could hear Taylor yell from her bright pink car. Carmen froze.

"What?" She said with a smile.

"We agreed to wear different colored converse today. Where's yours?" Taylor said. Not in a mean or nice way, which was just confusing.

Carmen knew they were doing the converse thing, but her mother said they wouldn't waste their money on shoes. So she was hoping Taylor, or the other girls wouldn't notice, but the didn't work out..

"Sorry. I totally forgot to buy them!" Carmen lied.

"I knew you would, so I bought you some neon pink ones to go with your outfit."

"Great! Thanks." Carmen hoped into the pink car and pulled on her shoes.

"Hey, guys!" Carmen joined happily.

"Let's skip gym today." Taylor hated the warm-ups they were forced to do in gym class. "It's not like we're doing volleyball. We're doing baseball, and baseball doesn't attract any boys, unlike volleyball, everyone's all over you." She paused. "If you play volleyball."

"Eh, baseball isn't so bad." Emma chirped in. Emma wanted to play sports every day, all day.

"You shouldn't even be skipping school at all." A voice in front on the girls laughed.

"Oh come on Brandon, like you have never skipped any of your college courses." Taylor spat at the Chauffeur.

"Only to pick you and your family up from places." He replied with a grin.

"Yea right. You've never skipped to see Anna after her work hours." Celesy said with a snort. The whole car ooed and ahhed at that last comment.

"No, we're not even dating."

"That doesn't mean you don't want to see her."

Brandon rolled his eyes as the car came to a stop. He looked over towards the famous Mormont High, the only high school on Mormont.

"Can you guys leave already?" Brandon joked. As the four ladies jumped out of the car.

"Thanks for driving us." Carmen was the only one who ever thanked him.

They walked up the steps into their school.
"You guys ready to take on the world?" Taylor asked

"Definitely." Replied the girls, Carmen, Celesy, and Emma.


back to top