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Hubby is now completely off all pain meds (except for Tylenol, which he takes for his arthritis), is driving and start physical therapy this week. His spinal fusion surgery was completely successful in that his sciatica is completely gone. In fact, even the pins & needles in his feet (which we were not expecting to go away) has gone away!
Now, if I can just keep him away from trying to do any gardening work ....
Book Concierge wrote: "Hubby is now completely off all pain meds (except for Tylenol, which he takes for his arthritis), is driving and start physical therapy this week. His spinal fusion surgery was completely success..."
So thrilled that this surgery was so successful for him! That's amazing. I've heard a lot of horror stories about these spinal fusions, so this news is just so great.
Book Concierge wrote: "Hubby is now completely off all pain meds (except for Tylenol, which he takes for his arthritis), is driving and start physical therapy this week. His spinal fusion surgery was completely success..."
This is great news, hope he doesn't try to do too much too soon.
That is great news! Those pain meds are tricky, glad he's just back to Tylenol.
Book Concierge wrote: "Hubby is now completely off all pain meds (except for Tylenol, which he takes for his arthritis), is driving and start physical therapy this week. His spinal fusion surgery was completely success..."
Hooray!
Book Concierge wrote: "Hubby is now completely off all pain meds (except for Tylenol, which he takes for his arthritis), is driving and start physical therapy this week. His spinal fusion surgery was completely success..."
That's very exciting! I'm glad he's doing so well!
Very good news indeed, Book Concierge!
That is wonderful the surgery was a success. You and your husband must be so relieved. :)
Book Concierge wrote: "Hubby is now completely off all pain meds (except for Tylenol, which he takes for his arthritis), is driving and start physical therapy this week. His spinal fusion surgery was completely success..."
Congratulations to you and hubby, BC. Great news.
Thank you all for your good wishes. It was a bumpy road to recovery, but we are happy with the outcome.
Book Concierge wrote: "Hubby is now completely off all pain meds (except for Tylenol, which he takes for his arthritis), is driving and start physical therapy this week. His spinal fusion surgery was completely success..."
Good, good, good!! I had back surgery for a ruptured disk that also resulted in sciatica, and the surgery was the best thing that ever happened to me. Such relief!
Yeah, happy to hear it was a success!! A friend is having a similar surgery on Friday.
JoLene wrote: "Yeah, happy to hear it was a success!! A friend is having a similar surgery on Friday."No 1 advice ... start taking Miralax NOW. And keep taking it ... make sure to ask for it in the hospital. Senokot is not enough when you are on large doses of narcotics.
Good advice!! I have had my share of surgeries so I can relate!
Unrelated to spinal surgery, but beyond books, I'm so sorry I've been MIA for the past few days. Life overwhelmed me a bit this week. All I'm going to say is if you ever need to find short term housing in New York City:
1. Do not leave it up to a 21 year old to manage on his own.
2. It is FREAKIN' ridiculous in terms of cost
3. There are lots of sketchy people charging huge brokerage fees for doing nothing.
4. Do not leave it up to a 21 year old to manage on his own.
5. If you find a place you like, it will be gone before anyone returns your phone calls.
6. No one will return your phone calls.
7. Advertisements on Craigslist are mostly bait and switch.
8. A $2500 per month apartment will cost at least an additional 40% once you have paid all the various fees and utilities associated with it.
9. Do not leave it up to a 21 year old to manage on his own.
10. Whatever you think a reasonable budget might be, double it and then add another 30%
Oh no, that sounds terrible! I hope you found something.
My husband was away for a few days at a conference, had an allergic reaction and had to spend the night in the hospital away from home (still doesn't know what caused it). Then he came home for 2 days and left for Turkey yesterday. So I've been so distracted I hadn't even realized you were completely missing.
I've been missing too so had my noticed you were both missing! Middle ear infection, and my stress levels are slowly rising as one of my sons is having dental surgery next week. My brain is finding it hard to focus on reading this week!Anita, did you eventually manage to find something? My experience of NY real estate is limited to Sex and the City and Girls.
Lol, well I'm glad I wasn't missed (I think) since everyone was having their own life hassles to deal with!Yes, I finally both found and believe I have reserved an apartment. I gave them a credit card. Let's hope they actually hold it for me, lol. That's how little faith I have at this point.
The place I ended up working with was recommended by a friend so I feel like it is going to happen! Trying not to think about the ridiculous sum of money.
Sorry to hear about the NYC real estate market --- I've always heard that it's bad. It is sort of similar around here in the Bay area, but probably not quite as bad.I too have been a bit MIA. We discovered that our kitchen sink drain has been leaking for a long time and are now in the middle of fixing all the water damage which means ripping out built-ins, ceiling, and sheet rock in our family room that was remodelled just 2 years ago. We had to spend the night at a hotel last night because of all the chemicals smells. That was no small task finding a hotel to take us and 2 large dogs. Heavy sigh --- that pipe was probably the one thing we didn't replace in the remodel :-D
I have NOT been MIA and I missed you, Anita!!!
Anita wrote: "All I'm going to say is if you ever need to find short term housing in New York City:1. Do not leave it up to a 21 year old to manage on his own.
My eldest just turned 21 and I agree 100 percent with this assessment!!!!
As a mother of three, two, of whom are very close in age to yours, and given that it's MAY when colleges let out, I figured you were most likely MIA due to things with your kids. I hope things get straightened out soon and that this ends up being a great learning lesson for your 21 year old.
But, yes, NYC is very expensive; it's the 7th most expensive city to live in in North America. LibraryCin lives in the 6th most expensive one.
But, in a cruel twist of economics, Toronto is 4th, San Francisco 2nd and, wait for it, Vancouver, BC is the most expensive city in North America!!! And yet, when I was in university it was much more affordable than many cities in North America.
Is it my imagination or has this spring been "fraught with peril" for many of us? Surgeries, drug reactions, adventures in real estate, caring for parents ... etc. I'm exhausted just reading this thread ....Here's to a relaxing summer!
Oh Joi, nothing like a home remodelling project that doesn't even make the house look prettier. So so sorry about the drain. That's no fun at all.Nicole - Thank you!!! I appreciate that and the fact that you checked in on me. I did get to go to two baseball games so that's the other reason I've been a bit MIA.
Karin - Thank you for the sympathy and understanding! I had no idea about those city rankings. So interesting. Honestly, I love Vancouver so can understand how that might be super expensive. I think the NYC temporary housing market is a slightly different animal than the regular housing market . . .which I'm sure is still a fortune, but short term furnished rentals for the summer are insanity. I probably should have looked in a different borough, but he doesn't really know NY, and I didn't really want him to have a long commute for a short term internship . . .so wanted something walkable. If he actually takes a job there, he's going to have to live somewhere else . . .or get more roommates to share the expense.
Karin wrote: "Anita wrote: "All I'm going to say is if you ever need to find short term housing in New York City:1. Do not leave it up to a 21 year old to manage on his own.
My eldest just turned 21 and I ag..."
What happened to Honolulu? I thought it was way up there.
I missed you too Anita! I agree don't leave decisions like this up to a 21 year old :-). I have a twenty year old in the house and there's no way she could do something like find housing in NYC. Things are actually fairly calm for me and tomorrow I get to celebrate my six year anniversary with my fiance :-).
I missed you Anita but also have been checking in rather sporadically.I say have some faith in your 21-year olds :)
My husband and I both moved to NYC directly after college. We were both 21 and had set up jobs and managed to find an apartment on our own. Neither one of us had parents who came with us or organized anything. My parents lived in Costa Rica and it wasn't an option. My husband's parents basically told him that after college he could only stay at home for a maximum of one month to find a job and apartment on his own.
We managed well enough to find an apartment despite not knowing the city at all and not having much money. Granted we ended up with an awful apartment that had a shower in the kitchen and we probably overpaid.
My mother moved to NYC at age 18. She didn't speak any English and yet managed to find a job, enroll in school, and find a decent apartment all without the assistance of parents.
Every child/young adult is different but young adults should be able to manage on their own even if it means they make lots of mistakes along the way. Although I say all this knowing full well that I'll probably feel the same as you Anita when my daughter is 21.
Anita wrote: "Oh Joi, nothing like a home remodelling project that doesn't even make the house look prettier. So so sorry about the drain. That's no fun at all.Nicole - Thank you!!! I appreciate that and the f..."
I knew you were at the ball games, so I didn't think of you as MIA. I have been completely wrapped up in closing the Florida house and coming back home so I've been checking in here very sporadically myself.
I'm hoping the situation with the apartment works out. I didn't hear from you after the last conversation so I assumed you signed on one of the other apartments. And I agree with you - never leave this up to a 21 year old.
Karin wrote: "But, yes, NYC is very expensive; it's the 7th most expensive city to live in in North America. LibraryCin lives in the 6th most expensive one...."Karen, really!? Calgary is more expensive than NYC!? I knew it was bad here, but... Sigh.
ETA: And for those who don't know, though I'm in my early 40s, for the first time ever, I just bought a place! I take possession next Friday and move the following Monday.
Karin wrote: "Vancouver, BC is the most expensive city in North America!!!..."This doesn't surprise me, though!
Enjoying moving in to your castle LibraryCin!
Welcome back, Anita! I missed you too! Fingers tightly crossed for the boy in the Big Smoke.
LibraryCin wrote: for those who don't know, though I'm in my early 40s, for the first time ever, I just bought a place! I take possession next Friday and move the following Monday..."That's wonderful - congrats!
Great news about your new place, Cindy. I'm sorry to read about all the fire devastation, but glad you are far away.
Thank you all! It's a mix of exciting and scary! There goes all my savings into a down payment! AND I will be responsible for all repairs and such. I'm not handy! OM, that fire is soooo scary and devastating. I can't even imagine. The videos are terrifying. I've never been to Fort McMurray, and when someone asked on f/b the other day how far away I am, I guessed 9 or 10 hours, but from posts I've seen from other friends, it seems that it's more like 6 or 7 hours to drive. Many evacuees have come here, though.
Jen wrote: "I missed you Anita but also have been checking in rather sporadically.I say have some faith in your 21-year olds :)
My husband and I both moved to NYC directly after college. We were both 21 and..."
Lol, hey, you forget I have a good bead on your (and your husband's) IQ.
To be fair, the temporary sublet housing market is pretty different than the regular market from what I can ascertain. There's a very big mismatch between supply and demand. And there are credit checks involved which obviously unemployed 21 year olds can't really pass without permanent jobs (they are interns).
But I admit that I wasn't quite willing to let the chips fall where they may because I'm basically paying, lol. If they had real jobs and it was their money, I might have been more hands off.
I gave my son a couple of months to figure it out, and he had secured a situation, but it fell through, so that led to a giant scramble. Let's just say May 1 is not the time to start looking for a June 1 short term summer rental.
But the good news is we have a place now. Great location, teensiest tiniest thing ever, and a zillion dollars. Ok, I'm exaggerating, but you get the picture.
Rachel wrote: "I missed you too Anita! I agree don't leave decisions like this up to a 21 year old :-). I have a twenty year old in the house and there's no way she could do something like find housing in NYC. Th..."Thank you for supporting my "helicopter" mothering, Rachel! I feel both guilty and much better having secured a place in a safe area. If he ends up working there after graduation, he will know the city, and I think I will have more faith that he can identify an option on his own. I just couldn't quite let this be a failure when I think this internship is really important for him.
And honestly, a lot of my hovering is selfish because I don't want to be worrying about his safety, or have a management company that is so sketchy that basic issues with the apartment are left unfixed. It's just not worth it to me!
Linda S wrote: "Anita wrote: "Oh Joi, nothing like a home remodelling project that doesn't even make the house look prettier. So so sorry about the drain. That's no fun at all.Nicole - Thank you!!! I appreciate ..."
Thanks, Linda! Several times I thought we were situated to be honest. But it was MUCH harder than I really anticipated . . .especially as the time frame narrowed. So much bait and switch advertising. I ended up satisfied with what we have which is on 52nd and 3rd and has laundry in the building. My son is working on 38th and Madison so I think the commute is pretty easy. But it is really, really small for two people. However, I think the kitchen is what is beyond ridiculous, and how much are two boys going to use that - - like probably next to none.
LibraryCin wrote: "Karin wrote: "But, yes, NYC is very expensive; it's the 7th most expensive city to live in in North America. LibraryCin lives in the 6th most expensive one...."Karen, really!? Calgary is more exp..."
CONGRATS on the new place, Cin. Can't wait to see pics on FB.
Anita- lol, I'd probably be right there with you when it is Emma's turn. Just saying that knowing all of you, you have likely raised responsible and capable young adults. It makes complete sense to help out but my guess is they could probably surprise you in what they could ultimately manage.Your son is lucky to have such wonderfully supportive parents!
Jen wrote: "Anita- lol, I'd probably be right there with you when it is Emma's turn. Just saying that knowing all of you, you have likely raised responsible and capable young adults. It makes complete sense to..."It's interesting how different kids are from the same parents. I swear my youngest one is super capable. He probably could arrange an apartment for himself at the age of 18, and he wouldn't even involve me. He'd probably overspend his budget though and beg forgiveness after the fact.
My older guy turns to me for advice all the time and yet at the same time resists me giving it freely (he needs to ask for it). Part of me just thinks he is smart and has figured out that he can get me to do hard stuff for him. Part of me thinks he really just realizes that there's 5 ways to do something and why do it wrong when most of the time his parents at least can help him avoid the pitfalls. But bottom line, while I think he could figure it out in some fashion, I think the amount of angst it would cause me during the process wouldn't be worth it . . .but once he has a real job, then I am going to try to take at least three big steps back!
It's hard to strike the right balance between supportive and enabling laziness. Not sure I'm there.
Anita wrote: "It's hard to strike the right balance between supportive and enabling laziness. Not sure I'm there.I think that's something all of us parents struggle with. I know I do, and I thankfully haven't had to go through the teen years yet.
You are absolutely right, every child is different. I wasn't really referring to your specific situation but rather everyone saying that 21 year olds can't be left to manage on their own. I just found it kind of funny and a different (not better or worse) way to how things used to be when I was that age.
BTW, your example is not one of helicopter parenting. I think it's an example of a loving and caring parent not an overbearing one. I teach college classes and hire quite a few millennials (and younger) to work on my research grants and have been stunned at how involved their parents are in their college classes (having parents call to complain about their child's grades - because these parents are still helping their adult children complete their assignments) and professional jobs. Those are helicopter parents.
Just chiming in to say some 21 year old's CAN definitely manage their own! I've never dabbled in the wackiness of housing in NYC- but I established a homestay and living situation while abroad all at 19-20.My parents at the time were definitely worried, kept up on how I was doing A LOT, and wanted to make sure I was safe- but they were kind of forced to trust me. They couldn't speak or read any of the language, and were 6,000 miles away so there wasn't much helping to be had other than being supportive.
But it's all relative. I still like having my parents around to semi-helicopter parent me sometimes. It's comforting to know how much they care.
@Anita, I bet your son feels the same way.
Jen wrote: "Anita wrote: "It's hard to strike the right balance between supportive and enabling laziness. Not sure I'm there.I think that's something all of us parents struggle with. I know I do, and I thank..."
Thanks, Jen, for sharing your situation with other parents. I don't even know my college son's grades, lol. And haven't supervised homework since 5th grade. So I'm better in that regard!
But the life skills stuff - - that's where I tend to intervene and sometimes nag . . .not to be totally sexist, but I think girls are more mature in this regard and can get these things situated a bit better.
My son's roommate totally didn't want to involve his own parents (who are super nice people that I know), but also really didn't have the wherewithal to get the rental application completed. I think my son had to get him organized and stuff. A one month security deposit was required . . .I don't think either of them had that laying around.
At any rate, I definitely struggle with how much is too much to do, but my own anxiety (which can run high very easily) often dictates the level of intervention.
Joi wrote: "Just chiming in to say some 21 year old's CAN definitely manage their own! I've never dabbled in the wackiness of housing in NYC- but I established a homestay and living situation while abroad all ..."Thanks, Joi! Your parents sound fantastic. I'm impressed you were able to make all those arrangements in a foreign country (and in a foreign language). I do think young people can be very resourceful . . .and I bet your parents were both worried, but also super proud of you.
I do hope you are right that my son knows I care and feels cared about . . .in the end, I just want him to be both self sufficient and happy . . .and we'll see how that goes! A little too soon to tell.
Feel free to discuss personal news, announcements, and any non-book related items here!