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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query
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First Query Letter
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Hi Cassandra. Like you, I've been struggling with my query these days. One thing I've noticed from several agents' blogs is that they don't usually like the query to be written from the MC's point of view. They see the query (and it makes sense) as a business proposal, a formal letter, that shouldn't exceed one single-spaced page, including your bio, your personal info, some personalisation (why you chose that agent), and where you see your book in the publishing world (in other words, you need a couple of comparative titles, the agent can place it in their mind, market-wise). Have a look at the links below, and start from there. Read some successful queries to see how they are structured. I hope it helps :)https://janefriedman.com/query-letters/
http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-b...
https://chasingthecrazies.wordpress.c...
http://queryshark.blogspot.gr/
Hi Cassandra, I am with Chris on this. If I was an anent, you would have lost me after the first two sentences. -creative , yes, going to get you an agent -highly doubt it. (I would save the creativity for the Synopsis and Blurb.)
Thanks! I'll scrap it and try again :)
Cassandra,A/B test it. Don't scrap it!
Send half traditional, half new way. Find out what works.
Let us know!
Thanks again everyone! I have tried my hand at something more traditional, any thoughts? Totally horrible? Haha *cries* Query letters, right?The knife on Lt. Colonel Hudson Matthew’s sink calls to him, begging him to take his life before he kills again. There’s a monster locked inside his blood and when it escapes, it consumes. The only one that keeps him going, and tethered to his humanity, is his childhood friend Cristo, a Candidate and future world leader, whose unwavering loyalty is the single good thing to grace Earth’s desolate Badlands.
That all changes when Hudson crosses blades with the Azure Bandit, a deadly, alien criminal who's taken as much life as he has, and loses. Badly.
She becomes his personal vendetta, but instead of growing more hateful with every defeat at her hands, he gains a sense of belonging. Finding in her someone who could survive the monster he struggles to lock away. And she would happily carry his burden, giving him sanctuary and love, all he has to do is step aside. Step aside and let her complete her mission: to kill the Candidates, including Cristo, and watch the world fall into chaos.
There is an amazing amount of info and examples on writers digest website. :-)
Here's what an agent once told me.Write a three-sentence paragraph introducing your main character and describing the situation
Then a three-sentence paragraph about the main twist (not your inciting moment, mind you. Rather, the point of no return).
Then a three sentence paragraph about how he plans to deal with the situation, what goes wrong, what will happen if he fails.
That last suggestion is what they mean when they say "what's at stake."
This is my first stab at a query letter and I know it's not traditional, but I thought I'd give it a try. I'd love any advice.
So you're {AGENT}?
I've heard a lot about you, but if you're looking to be a hero, you're in the wrong place. Peacemakers are not heroes.
If you came for glory, for recognition, or anything short of giving your life to protect the United Countries' citizens within these prism walls, you should not be here.
Becoming a Volcrum peacemaker is no training montage, tomorrow you will not be a great warrior. You will bleed, you will sweat, you may break, or even die before you've had a chance to become anything.
If death, not years from now, but within the next week, the next day, the next hour, scares you leave now.
You hadn't even considered it had you? Dying? Torn apart by an alien monster in the Badlands or maybe she'll find you. The Azure Bandit. If you last more than a couple minutes against her blade, she's playing with you. Trust me, I know. Her and I - we have history. Let's leave it at that.
But she's why you've been called to action. As if we haven't lost enough in the wake of her rampage, she's after the Candidates now, and if they're assassinated, they'll be no one left to lead us. My closest friend is one of those Candidates and I'll be damned if I let her take him too.
If she has her way, the United Countries will fall. The walls keeping us safe from the Badlands will fall. What I'm trying to say, or rather ask is, are you willing to join this suicide mission?
Since you're still here I'll take that as a yes, but don't say I didn't warn you. Really. If I hear that at your funeral I'll botch the eulogy.
I'm Lt. Colonel Matthews and I'll be your commanding officer. Take a bigger weapon, you're going to need it.
Imperium is a science fiction-fantasy, complete at 88,000 words and is the first in a planned series. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.