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Matt and Bella
message 51:
by
Bella
(new)
Mar 31, 2016 09:49PM
"No... Jake said I'm ugly... I said I'm a freak.." She whispered and tears appeared. "No one liked me..." She tells him. She didn't know why she was speaking to him. She would have usually freaked that he was here and tell him to leave, but for some reason she didn't.
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Matt sighed. "I can hear his thoughts and he said it recently. I personally think you're beautiful, but if you just listen to what people say and ignore me, thats your choice."
"How can I believe it Matt?" She said to him, the first time she said his name allowed. "Every day I hear them call me names for the past five years." She tells him. " since middle school I've been treated like this. Then you come and tell me something else. How am I supposed to believe you?" She explains. She never tells anyone how she felt or her reason, but here she was like and open book to him. She tried to whip at her tears.
"I dont know." Matt says honestly. He wanted to give her a path,what to say, anything. But in order for her to trust him, it would require faith like any human being
"Exactly..." She said softly. After a minute she looked to the flowers. This was the first time she was given flowers. By now she stopped crying, there was a very small hint of a smile. She didn't smile anymore, but she loved flowers so she couldn't help it.
"But I let my secret loose, and I need to get out of town. Permanently. If the secret gets to the wrong people, they'll know I'm not dead and use me like a labrat again." Matt says simply
Vee looked back to him, any sigh of a smile gone. She stopped crying, but her eyes were still yet. She remembered his secret. The thing he told her yesterday. She thought he was crazy, but he wasn't lying. She wanted to say he was but he proved to her. "What is that... How can you do that?" She asked him. She really was truly afraid from his power. She felt naked, exposed, in front of him. The only safe place she thought she had was now open for him to read like an open book.
Matt blushed slightly, as he was able to hear the words she was thinking and heard naked. "I don't know. It's just something I've always been able to do. It's like hearing someone saying it, only it's without verbal communication."
Vee bit her lip. She looked down to her lap and thought about it. She didn't understand it, and it scared her. But he should know how she felt. Right? So maybe he wouldn't hurt her. Would be? Was this really all an act of does he really want to help her? What's going on? She thought miserably. She's never second thought anyone. Why him?
"I'll leave so I no longer am a threat to you." Matt turned to go back out the door and to go home. He didn't want to upset her anymore
"Wait!" Vee said to him. It was like her lips had a mind of its own. She looked away from him. Now she didn't know what to say. She didn't even know why she said that. She looked around the room, to anything but him. Her eyes fell on the flowers and she remembered the USB. "You can't take the USB..." She said to him. But she only said that as an excuse. "I'm not like that... I can't use it.."
"I know." Matt sighed softly, thinking carefully of his next words. "You just need to know you're the best person at school. See yourself how I see you, because I know everything and you're by far my favorite."
Vee bit the inside of her cheeks. How could she see herself like how he sees her? She can only see how people see her. A worthless freak. She looked down to her lap again. Does he mean it? she thought. Was she really his favorite. But why?
"Its because you're genuine. You are honest and dont care at all for what people think about you. It also really doesnt hurt that you're beautiful." Matt said honestly
Vee opened her mouth to tell him something but the door opened and the doctor came in. "Your awake?" He said and looked over her before looking over to Matt. "Are you her brother?" He asked him.
Matt shook his head, "I'm her friend from school." He bit his lip
The doctor frowned. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The Doctor said to him since he wasn't family. The door opened again and Vees mother walked in with a cup of coffee in her hand. Her gaze went from Matt, to the doctor, to her daughter was now awake. "Vee!" Her mother said and quickly rushed to herself. She set the coffee down on the table next to her bed and quickly pulled her daughter into her arms. "Oh god, I was worried sick about you." He mother whispered. But Vee didn't show any feelings towards her mother.
"It was nice getting to know you Vee." Matt sighed, walking out
Vee watched from over her shoulder as Matt left. She felt something. She felt lonelier. Was that even possible. Once Matt left the doctor started to talk but Vee wasn't paying attention. Friend?((Maybe we could time skip to Monday. He could have pros ably changed his mind))
((Matt will probably check out if she's okay))Matt went by the hospital every day to check up on her, staying to safety while heing able to hear people's thoughts
((Like he goes but doesn't let her see him?))Vee was still in the hospital. The doctor insisted that Vee should stay longer. They tried to get her to eat and be healthy, but she wasn't cooperating. Today was Sunday, her third day in the hospital. Right now she was in the room alone. She had asked for her sketch book and her mother brought it for her. She was sketching, softly humming to herself as she thought of the lyrics. She says she wants to end it all when she's all alone in her room...she cries...the way she feels inside is too much for her...when all you got is these four walls..it's not that hard to feel so small...or even exist at all...how come no one heard her when she said...maybe I'm better off dead...
(Exactly)Matt knocked on her window, biting his lip. He didnt want to get her in trouble by going through the front door
((Got it))Vee looked up when she heard a knock, her eyes going to the door. She excepted her mom to come in. Or maybe the doctor to see if she was eating. But no one came in. Her eyes scan the room, and then they went to the window she had that led looked into the hallway where bust t staff walked by and waiting family were. But on the other side of the glass was Matt. He didn't leave? she asked herself, and deep down she felt a little happy. But she pushed that away. She wasn't supposed to feel that way.
Matt waited for her to let him in. He smilef as he was able to feel she was happy that he arrived. It made him happy that he made her happy
Vee for some reason wanted to know what he was doing here. She didn't know why by she thought, Come in. No one is here. she knew he would hear her. She looked away from him, crossing her legs and placing her sketch book next the flowers that he had given her. They were now in a base that her mom brought from home. She then moved the blanket to cover her lap and arms, not wanting him to see how horrible she really looked.
Matt walked in and bit his lip. "Im here because I didnt want to leave town while you're in the hospital. I want to make sure youre ok."
"Oh..." She said softly when he answered he. She really needed to stop thinking. But she couldn't help it. It was all she did. Talk to herself. She had no one else to talk to. "I didn't have to. You should've left..." She said to him and looked to the blanket. She didn't think he should visit her. What's the point?
"So what do you want to do?" Matt asks, sitting in a chair neat her
Vee bit her lip. What am I doing? Why am I letting him talk to me? She asked herself. She was so confused. She didn't understand how she felt. She shrugs to him. Her eyes lift to look at him before looking to the sketch book she had been working in. She loved drawing and was comforted by it, but he was here. She couldn't go back, even though she wanted to.
((Maybe he could ask her something. He could try to get her to open up))
Matt bit his lip, thinking of what to do. "Tell me more about you."
Vee looked over to him before looking down to her lap. No one has ever asked her that. She froze, lost in thought. What was she supposed to say? Was she supposed to say something? Without thinking she said, "I like to sketch... It helps me.." She didn't even know why she said that. But she did. There was this part of her that made it feel okay to talk to him, she she never felt like that with anyone. She's never said what she just said to anyone. ((Can u try to write more plz))
Matt smiled softly, thinking about what Vee was saying. "I bet that have a very good talent for drawing." He slowly walked towards her hospital bed, making sure she was comfortable with him
"I guess... I don't know," Vee said softly. She wasn't one to brag. She never had a chance to do so anyone. She always thought there was nothing to brag about because she wasn't good at anything. So she didn't think she was good at drawing, but she was. When ever she spoke too, she spoke quietly. To who ever or when ever, her voice was close to a whisper. She wasn't brave enough to speak loudly. She noticed Matt approach her bed and swallowed nervously. Even though there seemed to be a change I her with him, she was still nervous when he came close. She still didn't trust him. She was still scared of him. Because at any moment, something could happen and this could be a prank. Who knows. Maybe theirs a camera in the flowers and he's recording her.
Matt sat on the edge of her bed, biting his lip as he thought of what to say. Although he wanted to just come out and insist she show some pride in who she is, at the same time Matt didn't want to spook Vee. "Let me see your drawings so I can be the judge of how good they are."
Vee moved closer their end of the bed, being safe just in case. She pulled her legs closer to herself and kept her arms covered. "I-I.. Don't show anyone my drawings..." She said softly to him and looked down the blanket. She didn't want to show him. He'll probably make fun of them. They were filled with so much feelings, he'll say it's corny.
"I bet no one else gets to hear your thoughts either." Matt joked smiling as he made that joke. "Seriously, i pinky promise that ill keep it between us."
Vee looked at her sketch book. She never thought there would be a day that she would let someone see her sketches. So should she really let him see? "..." She opened her mouth to say something but couldn't. She wanted to say she didn't want to show him, despite how urging the feeling of giving him it was, but she just couldn't speak. She didn't say anything in the end, looking back down to her hidden arms. Even if she was to show him, she would have to hand it to him and he would see her arms. So she just stayed quite. Maybe he can hear her thoughts- and she wanted to know how- but he couldn't see in her sketch book and that would be her hidden thoughts for now.
Matt bit his lip, looking down. "I already know about your arms. You keep visualizing them in your head and I can see them." He looks up at her eyes. "I dont think less of you, I understand." Matt rolled up his sleaves and pointed to his arms. At first glance there wasnt anything off, until at second look it was appearent there were countless old scars from cutting. Matt had used a type of liquid bandages after he cut himself in order to prevent scarring, but even then they still left lines
Vee sucked in her breath. She kept her gaze down at first, embarrassed. She hated that he can read her mind, that he can see what she thought. She tried her best to not do those. She looked up though when he pulled up his sleeves. He does it too? she asked herself. She thought she would never find some else that did it. She didn't think there was anyone else understood her pain to go through that. She looked away from them to his eyes and asked. "Why?"
Matt bit his lip, looking at her eyes also, a faint sadness in his eyes. "Imagine you can hear how aweful people talk behind other's backs, hear people's worst thoughts like wanting to kill someone, and you can do nothing about it." Matt looked out the window, looking away. "Imagine you knew your parents were cheating on each other, and no one believed you." He closed his eyes as he started to have tears roll down his face. "Or you know who killed your dad and the police cant take your word for it."
Vee listened to him. She could see it, the same sadness in her. She could see it in his eyes. She wondered how it felt, to hear those thoughts he spoke about. It sounded horrible. Especially about his parents. When he mentioned his fathers death, she didn't know how to react. She's never lost anyone. She couldn't compare there. But at the same time, she did lose her father to work and her younger sister. Still, death was different. "I'm so sorry..." She whispered.
Matt just wiped away his tears, looking back at Vee. "Thats why you matter to me, I know by reading your mind the type person you are is a good person. It's hard to find, trust me, I've been looking ever since it happened ti me."
Who would've thought Vee would ever see a guy cry. She wanted to believe him so desperately, but there's always this part of her that told her she couldn't, that she shouldn't. "I'm sorry..." She said softly. She looked down to her lap again. "But I'm not the one your looking for." Vee closed her eyes and held back her tears. Why was this so hard? How could she give up something like this. What if it's real? What if he wanted her? She would never find anyone like him.
Matt bit his lip, being able to feel her emotions and thoughts. He hesitantly reached for her hand, although there were sheets in the way, he wanted to touch her hand. "You and I both know thats not true. This one time my curse has become a blessing because i know your inner thoughts. Youre just acting by muscle memory to push me away, and you know I'm right."
Vee looked down to his hand. It's been a while since a guy has held her hand, even if the blanket was in the way. Jake had done that, when she trusted him. He had said he cared for her, that she was beautiful. He said words that Matt was saying. She pulled her hand away, she couldn't. "I need time.." She whispered and opened her eyes which were wet. Even if it were trust issues she had, the fact that he could read her mind bothered her. Did she really want to hang out with someone who had accesses to her mind?
"I understand. Even if you dont want to be with me romantically, I still want to be there for you as a friend." Matt says honestly, chosing to ignore her thoughts. He wanted to have a genuine relationship
Vee didn't respond. Did he really think of her that way? A person he could date? But he doesn't know her, actually he does. "You should probably leave..." She tells him. She needed to be alone.
Matt nodded, "If thats what you want. I'm trying to tune out your thoughts, and so I dont know what youre thinking right now. Ill just assume you mean what you say." He headed for the exit
