What did you learn/like?

[Kristen]

What did you take away from this book? What details did you appreciate, find meaningful, and/or want to apply to your own lives?

I found chapter four really interesting. The concept of working with love to "create a loving working environment," and that doing so helps us spiritually and "strengthens our capacity to love" stood out. Hooks said that we can, regardless of whether we truly like our career, give our "absolute best" in our job, making life more fulfilling for ourselves and our colleagues. We all spend a pretty large chunk of our time at our jobs--we should make the most of them.

This connected later with her chapter 5 and 8 comments about being loving in our communities and actually practicing the love expressed in our respective religions. Here again we see the need to be generous, open, honest, committed, respectful, and caring not only with family, friends, and partners, but also with those in our community and workplace. We can make love a conscious choice and action in our daily lives.

That's what I'm taking away from the book. What did everyone else learn?

[Noemi]

What I learned, and what I have never really been aware of, is that love is a choice. That we have to step forward and allow people to love us, thus allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. Simultaneously, if love is a choice we can always decide not to let another person hurt us. Falling out of love may be hard sometimes, but we can always step away from an abusive (in whatever way) relationship.

What I also found beautiful was the notion that self love, though important, is not all there is to fulfillment. She stresses the importance of community and that healing and love can only grow in community.

[Emily]

While I watch the U.S. presidential elections spiraling out of control, feeling like my nation is going to collapse in on itself, I've become very downtrodden and I think I've really lost sight of the good that we can still do and the love of which we are all still capable. All About Love really helped ground me.

In Chapter 6 hooks says: "Cultures of domination rely on the cultivation of fear as a way to ensure obedience. In our society we make much of love and say little about fear. Yet we are all terribly afraid most of the time. As a culture we are obsessed with the notion of safety. Yet we do not question why we live in states of extreme anxiety and dread. Fear is the primary force upholding structures of domination. It promotes the desire for separation, the desire not to be known. When we are taught that safety lies always with sameness, then difference, of any kind, will appear as a threat." (Pg 93)

This struck me because I feel it's this basic principle that is getting lost in the political rhetoric and the fear-mongering on the election stage. So many of hooks' strategies on loving ("... A combination of trust, commitment, care, respect, knowledge, and responsibility..." Pg 54) could be applied to the political sphere and give us the connection we all crave, and thereby eradicating fear and making us secure and safe with our neighbors.

[Sarah]

I learnt that it is true when she says family love can be loveless, I have learnt that I do not love my brother although I caregive my love to him as he is my brother, if he were not I wouldnt have anything to do with him. as hooks says as children we are told we love each other we are family ect but my brother is toxic to me my heart and soul so it means I dont love him this has helped me to let go with a little less guilt and weight on my shoulders, having said all this my other family members I love as even if they were not to be related I would still love them so I differ slightly on that you can have both.

[Nicole]

My favorite thing about the book is that it is about love in all carnations, not just romantic love. As someone who has not been lucky in romantic love, but whose life has had love from family and friends I appreciate that. I sometimes wonder what might be wrong with me because of my lack of boyfriends or a husband, but this book helped me feel better because it showed me why I might choose not to. Real love is not something that can be found easily or cheaply.

[MeerderWörter]

Love is a choice, not something similar to fate. We can choose to love and be loved. And it helped me to overcome obstacles with myself and my relatives.

We do not love each other, "cause it's family."
I hate the term "'cause they're family." Especially, if told by others. I can choose whom to love and whom not to love.