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Requesting Feedback > Humble request for feedback on my project page

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message 1: by Jason (last edited Feb 21, 2016 02:15PM) (new)

Jason (atomicboywonder) | 44 comments Hey inkshares community, I'm looking to get some feedback on my project page as I don't feel like I'm making as much of an impact as I'd like. 36 pre-orders in 13 days is pretty nice, but I feel like I could do better...who couldn't?

I've made some adjustments over the last few days, including adding character synopses, author bio and links to social media and my short stories on wattpad (for those who want to see that I can write something to completion, even if it is a much shorter form). I'm also going to change out the book trailer for a more personalized pitch video with me talking enthusiastically about superspies in space and what not.

I've paid for advertising on social media, but I have not seen a significant enough conversion rate to justify continuing to pay for it (lots of traffic to my landing page and author page, but I have not seen that really turn into sales at all). I'm having business cards and post cards made and I'm going to be pounding pavement and approaching people...which for a guy with social anxiety issues is going to be a ridiculous challenge, but I'll try to stay medicated for most it. Lucid, but medicated.

What else can I do? Am I not selling the concept well enough? Is the concept not strong enough? How can I make my project page better? Is the first chapter captivating enough? Should I put up another chapter, maybe one further along in the story?

I've already learned a lot from others in the community by way of my interactions here on goodreads and on and maybe I'm being impatient being only 13 days into the campaign, but any and all feedback is welcome and appreciated. Thanks!

message 2: by Christopher (new)

Christopher Huang (christopher_huang) | 73 comments Some thoughts ... just my own opinions, and I am not a marketer so understand that I don't really know what I'm talking about....

1) I think you should begin with the "what is this story about" blurb. Maybe having a headline thingy (see point 2) would be nice.

2) I think the "Hi, I'm so-and-so" intro you have right now should be condensed and merged with the "about the author" section further down. Maybe the bolded section can be kept where it is and used as a headline above the "what is this story about": "John Carter ... Dune ... Star Wars ... absurdist humor ... retro 1960s sci-fi and classic spy movies ... ACTION! THRILLS! ADVENTURE! CAPS-LOCK USED SPARINGLY! (I promise)"

2a) The "caps-lock used sparingly" bit is funny and attention-grabbing. I like it. You must keep it.

3) All those character bios are a lot to take. Suggest whittling them down to one-line zingers (Penny Thorne: our Heroine! A top agent of the AIS!) and link them all to a page on where you'd have the full bios.

4) List the individual stories you have on Wattpad, and link to them individually. If I'm thinking of checking out a short story, I'd like to decide which one to see right here, right now; I don't want to break this into two decisions: one to check out the stories, and another to select which one. Also, your Wattpad short story titles could potentially be interesting enough to suck in someone who wouldn't otherwise have been interested enough to go look at Wattpad.

5) Distill everything down and say it in as few words as possible. You don't have to explain what the Sons of Mars are, it's enough that we know they are an antagonistic force. Likewise, you probably don't have to explain that humanity has adopted the aesthetics of the 1960s.

6) There's something wrong with the redirect code at I think you missed the colon from "http:".

Hope that helps!

message 3: by Jason (new)

Jason (atomicboywonder) | 44 comments Christopher wrote: "Some thoughts ... just my own opinions, and I am not a marketer so understand that I don't really know what I'm talking about....

1) I think you should begin with the "what is this story about" bl..."

Thanks! I had no idea the code was broken, i fixed it, hopefully it doesn't take forever to update.

I appreciate all the suggestions, I'll look into organizing things a bit better.

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