Our Shared Shelf discussion
Jan—My Life on the Road (2016)
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I'm not smart enough to be a feminist (page 100)
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Sure, Elena. Just remember that not everyone is like you. You are vocal and clearly very comfortable speaking up and expressing opinions. You don't shy away from a debate either.It's taken me years of practice to reach such a state of mind, and I still have moments of extreme shyness "in real life." With my own experiences in mind, I want to help others in a similar boat to break free from old boundaries, and when a topic is as charged as feminism still is today, it can be too hard for some to be as out there as they long to be.
So my help this time was to share what I've learned about the connection between confidence and knowledge. Of course we shouldn't get stuck in theoretical talk only, but we should add actions to the mix, and for a clear path to be seen in front of us, it can help the shyer folks to have a strategy. And that strategy can be in arming oneself with knowledge.
This won't work for everyone, but for some, and it can be the difference between active or passive participation.
Aglaea wrote: "Sure, Elena. Just remember that not everyone is like you. You are vocal and clearly very comfortable speaking up and expressing opinions. You don't shy away from a debate either.
It's taken me yea..."
I agree, but you don't necessarily have to say things in order to get what you deserve. Not always. Just with a proper attitude you can have enough. We overestimate words.
And well, shyness can be a good thing. It depends on how you use it. But as I say it's not about arguing with everyone, sometimes it's enough to refuse to do things that harm you as a woman.
It's taken me yea..."
I agree, but you don't necessarily have to say things in order to get what you deserve. Not always. Just with a proper attitude you can have enough. We overestimate words.
And well, shyness can be a good thing. It depends on how you use it. But as I say it's not about arguing with everyone, sometimes it's enough to refuse to do things that harm you as a woman.
Gabriela wrote: "Urgh, this is exactly what's happening to me. I'm proud of the little steps in confidence though.. my boyfriend is picking up My life on the road (book #1) and it feels like a little victory :)"Congratulations on that! I know how hard it is to convince somebody to read a book. I try it often.
Amy wrote: "When I decided to join this book club it was more because now that I'm not in university I read way less than I used to, and less because I think of myself as being a feminist. I mentioned to on of..."
You're right about that talking circle, I feel so too. It's so big, one cannot discuss in all topics anymore really. (Unless you spend your days in front of the computer, which is not my aim.)
I think it is important to declare yourself a feminist and while talking to people and reading books, you'll learn. There's not much knowledge necessary to declare yourself a feminist. Do it and learn, then you'll become a more aware one.
Samanta wrote: "Lynn wrote: "Kayla wrote: "Can we just talk about this for a moment? I was a first generation college student, and my grandmother and mother both seemed to feel that 'feminist movements' implied so..."
The Nahuatl people say that the wisdom, the knowledge is preserved by the grandmothers and -fathers, if I remember correctly. The people who were here before us. I think we should keep that in mind, because one can always learn from old people. (even if you don't agree with them.)
erika wrote: "YESSSS!!! When I told my husband I joined "a book club," I did so kind of sheepishly. When he asked why I was smiling funny, I said, "Well...it's a feminist book club..." He laughed and jokingly sa..."
I was hesitating to say that I joined OSS, not for it being a feminist book club( my parents are inadvertant feminists to some extent, they find it cool that I'm a member), but because I wanted it to be something that is mine, that I don't have to defend. But then I thought: It's about feminism and feminism is something I fight for, therefore I will have to defend it sometimes. And then I told my parents. But I don't talk about it often, since I want it to be mine, I'm old enough not to share everything with them.
Aglaea wrote: "I should have added that research shows confidence grows with increasing knowledge, not necessarily the other way round. In this sense it is about not respecting oneself, because one might not feel confident enough."So that's me, then, in a nutshell. I have to know in order to feel confident. If I don't know anything or very little about a topic, I feel unconfident because I might get a tricky question I can't answer that embarasses me. So, I try to learn as much as I can, without getting absorbed in learning, so I can feel confident.
Knowledge is power, and power often means confidence.
Serene wrote: "Elena wrote: "I think it's not because of a lack of knowledge. It's about what the concept of feminism represents in our society. Nobody takes it seriously because we don't demand enough respect."
..."
Honestly, take ten people of my hometown and you'll get ten different answers probably. (And we're just 5.000)
Same applies for racism. You don't need to know a million theories about racism in order to know that racism is wrong. You just have to demand respect from the ones who treat you like an inferior being.
In our society we have the tendancy to hide behind talking because that makes us feel that we're doing something to change things and we feel better, while not taking the risk to put anything of our lifes in danger but our time. And that's a problem, not a solution. We've become a mass of philosophers who do nothing but talk.