Definitions of gender equality as you don't know it yet

[Tadej]

Dear all!

I watched Ms. Emma Watson UN speech and also her speech on National Women Day last year. I was very impressed of topic that Emma has put his effort in, and I immediately see a great opportunity how can a determined knowledge help her spread positiveness and acceptance of each other, meaning acceptance between man and women.

The next paragraph is short summary of my way to meaning of life and why did I put the effort in it, so you can skip this part, and go direct to explanations of gender equality.

But before I continue let me explain a little bit about the background of my life and how can I participate, but more important, how can the knowledge that I will introduce, help to "equal the world", if I may write it so :) I am a regular guy, who has gone to a regular ground school then on a regular high school and worked in a few regular jobs. The life has its ups and downs, but there was always the question, "what now", after a major down fall or bad experience in life. I have had two great relationship, which also didn't work out, and when I was 23 I started to looking for meaning of life. I believe that everyone here on this planet is looking for this meaning of life, with that difference between people (worlds), that everyone is searching on its own way. My search began with the first broken relationship. I didn't expect, this would put me down so hard, harder than anything in life. And I seek for the answers, what was this pain, when relationship broke? And I get an answer. The life goes on, and nor even loosing a job or changing it left me so empty inside, than broken relationship. This was special feeling and I didn't wanted to to relive it again. So I started to read books which I have put on pause. I have read a lot of books, from marketing to life, from how to heal yourself to help others. I have had a great job, and for my circumstances a great paycheck. I have had a car and have had a girlfriend. I have had a loving mother and father, and never ever any serious body disease, nor I was never in a hospital. I considered myself as a healthy person, with positive attitude and also accepting all people. But I was not happy. I was having everything also I travel to Turkey twice on a sea beach and I was still empty inside. It was a strange feeling that it was growing in me. No matter what have I done, the people around me expected always more and expected that I would act like they want. This was the time when I asked myself, is this it? I have everything and I cannot be happy? What about death, and should I just die to see what is on the other side, and is this everything in life that I can have? Is there nothing more? So I keep reading the books, from Louis L. Hay, Dan Brown, to highly philosophic books in my language. But nothing worked. I asked myself what is life if I cannot be happy, what is Love if I cannot have a understanding relationship, and most important, what I do wrong, that I feel as I feel?

Now I am 29 years old and I am very glad that I came by with the book that changed my life. I believe that everyone has a book like that, but this book is special as it is not typically written, it is not a novel, and does not use typical story for a red line. Probably you will think that this is not possible, but this book uses a theory, that explains how we, people, think. Everyone that reads it, reads it on his very own way, and neither two of people would see the same in it. It is however not a philosophical, psychological or any scientific book, but it includes 13 different stories. I would like to introduce the theory and how it explains the gender equality, that is used in this book. The theory is young but it is first theory that successfully eliminate dyslexia. About this after a while!

The theory is called REI by first letters in the name of three minds, that we all people think with. They are Reason, Emotion and Instinct, and NO, they do not have the characteristics, that you think of them, when you read their name! This is the first mistake, that everyone makes. For now I will ask you, that you do not explain them after your knowing of the words. Those are only the names of the minds, that every human uses. Any bit of information our body perceives from its surroundings, whether it’s a word we hear, a picture we see, or a smell we notice, turns into data only when our brain processes the sensory perception. The brain can accept or reject and evaluate everything and turn it its own way. So every person unconsciously creates his or her own world from the first moment of his or her life and understands it as the only existing truth. But because we all live in our own worlds, we believe that all the other worlds are the same too and, even though we sense there are differences between us, it’s very difficult for us to imagine how extremely different our worlds really are. These differences and the inability to understand them are the source of all the problems we have in our relations with one another.

We were aware that our thoughts were created by conscious and unconscious processes. But that wasn’t enough to be able to understand the source of the fundamental differences between us. Up until now we haven’t realized that three independent systems operate in our brains, which differ strongly from one another in terms of their characteristics and functioning. Each one of them is a mind of its own and each wants to predominate. Even though they fight for control they can’t live without one another and, even though each is in charge of a different area, one of them can completely drown out the other two. The power ratio between them forms while we grow up, and this, in turn, defines our character for the rest of our lives. Any one of them can rule our world.
The following relations can exist between the minds:
One of them can occupy first place, and the other two are left with subordinate roles;
Two minds can occupy first place together, and only one remains in a subordinate position;
The power can be distributed according to the following key: most important, moderately important, and least important.
This way we get twelve different compositions, which represent the twelve human characters.

This link shows the table of 12 different options of minds that can develop in people:
http://bit.ly/22SnYh5

Even just a quick glance at the table of characters shows that the first line shows characters dominated by Reason, the second by Emotion, and the third by Instinct. In addition, the last line includes the “paired” characters, which have special features precisely because of their dual natures. Thus, similar characters can be connected into four groups with similar features.
The features of the most important mind in one’s character are simultaneously the predominant features of this character.
The minds are completely equal—none is better or worse than another and each has its advantages and disadvantages, although they adapt differently to different circumstances. Instinct performs best in times of scarcity, and Emotion is created for abundance. Reason is most effective in rapidly changing circumstances. Thus in specific circumstances an individual mind is more successful than the other two.

Instinct
Instinct is the oldest mind. His world is based on the various fears he associates with everything and every circumstance. He believes evil dominates over good in the world. His primary task is to protect, so his activity is directed towards identifying danger in the environment. His defense is to flee. Instinct is extremely cautious, suspicious, and usually pessimistic. His key motive is envy. He’s hard-working, conscientious, creative, and curious by nature. Instinct is reserved and the most emotional among the minds because he gets strongly attached to those close to him out of fear of losing them. He more often rules women.

Emotion
Emotion is the opposite of Instinct. He thinks in pictures, which he combines into mosaics and then connects into a whole. He believes good dominates over evil in life. His primary task is to identify others who are better adapted to the environment than he is. He’s extremely trusting, if not even gullible, and sees everything through rose-colored glasses. He yearns for new experiences, likes to travel, is sociable, and can be frivolous, lazy, careless, and irresponsible. He’s an excellent improviser and a born epicure. He must be the center of attention, so his behavior often resembles that of a child. He’s driven by competitiveness, and his defense is to attack. He more often rules men.

Reason
Reason is the youngest mind. He’s analytical and rational, which is why he seems deliberate, mature, and grown-up. He tends to anticipate and plan. Reason is the only mind we’re aware of and so we perceive him as consciousness. He controls words and numbers; he’s accurate and consistent, systematic, and calculating. He’s not creative and doesn’t feel sympathy. He’s driven by greed and rules men and women equally often.
We can’t identify our character on our own. The reason for this is hidden in the fact that we evaluate ourselves using our predominant mind, which always takes our own thinking as the starting point. It’s also hidden in the fact that in reality we have no real comparison with others because we again evaluate them according to our own mindsets. So each mind believes he’s rational, just, and right, which is why people make different decisions in the same circumstances.
Another problem in identifying characters lies in thought processes because different ones lead to the same result. Because we only see the results of people’s thinking, but not also how they reached these results, we all judge their actions in our own way. This is why we keep misunderstanding each other, but we’re usually not even aware of this.

Those are only summary descriptions of the minds. The writer of the book claims, that every human thinks with one of those twelve compositions. But what is more interesting is, how we can use REI to explain a different human situations. If you would have any questions or wanted to know, how I came to any conclusion, please feel free to ask. I will now only explain the differences between women and men, and why is there most men in predominance on the world.

- Tad

[Tadej]

As you can see from the description in my first post, all the situations happens between the three main groups. Every group has it's own specialities and yes this is actually a psychological theory. But before you're trying to discard this theory, I would like, to take a time and to read what is posted. The description of the three minds is in the original post very short, and I will be upon the interpretation, explain other attributes of the three minds.

As I wanted to help HeForShe campaign and because I admire the work of Ms. Emma Watson, and because there is hard way to contact her, I decided to explain gender equality through REI here. As we now know, that all the people think with three different minds, and that 75% (most) women think with Instinct, we can now approach what are the main motives of Instinct. Instinct is the mind that has developed first. His motives are to protect the human being from danger, is careful and very pessimistic. He always predicts where can be danger so connects things that people with Emotion or Reason on first place will not. He is very caring, character like mother. He can be very envy when he does not accept his own "world". But he can be also creative, loving and empathic. Right the opposite is Emotion, in most cases he dominates to men (75%). He see the world very optimistic, it is improvisational and does not know exact time. His time is measured in before, now and then. He can be very good athlete or he can develop into musician, actor or artist. He can be very competitive when he does not accept his world and of a very fast anger. The Reason is more speculative, he masters time so he is easy exact. He plans and foresees the situation, he knows with the numbers and words and his nest is school, judicial and political system. 25% women and men think with Reason and his values predominate in the world that we live in. This is also the reason that people who think with Instinct and Emotion cannot fit in the nowadays world.

So what is the main reason that we don't have equal number of women in men jobs? The simple answer of REI theory is, that the Instinct who dominates to most of women, does not have the same motives for jobs like men. If we add Reason to thinking of Instinct we would get judges, detectives or journalists. If we add Reason to Emotion we get lawyers and politicians. The most people on the high determining places think with Reason. This is because of the nature of the work. Every system in year 2016 is highly conceived on Reason values, and there is no place for Instinct and Emotion. But what this theory would like to show you is that there are still people, born with thinking of Emotion and Instinct.

The second question is why is there so much hatred against women? The answers that REI offers are as follows: Only the Emotion can erupt in anger. The Instinct is not capable of this because of his fear, what would she/he cause. The Emotions however does not think something like that, but instead of that they just react as they feel. As in relationship there are always together a totally opposite character, the Emotion after a while (when the crush fades), does not understand Instinct. And vice versa. This is the main problem of society nowadays. Because we only expect that the other will react as we want, instead we just accept him as he/she is, there begins infinite fight, until the relationship ends. The Emotions look on the world more optimistically and Instincts pessimistic whining and with caring for every fragment that is Emotion unknown, can be for Emotion too intense. In the world where predominates only Reason values, are Emotion and Instinct pushed in corner with his values, and because they cannot achieve what they want, they become unsatisfied. Dissatisfaction is main reason to broken relationships.

The third question is, if we can make 50/50 of men and women population in everything. As the Instincts has his own motives, and Emotions his own, we should be very careful. Of course there is no problem for a women who thinks like Reason to become politician or judge. She will only create more values, that only Reason thinking people will understand. So the first conclusion that the REI offers must be made here. We are not divided into women and men. This means that only people who think with the same mind will find themselves in the same place. No matter if it's women or man, when he or she thinks with Reason he or she will create Reason values and help Instinct and Emotion to stay behind, and some day to extinct both of their values.

How is it possible that only one-third of all human values can predominate in the world? Actually, this is not happening for the first time. But we have not have this knowledge back then. We people live in a world that is created with one of the following group of values: Emotion, Instinct or Reason values. In the 18th century, there were predominating Emotion values. The people socialize with values as weddings, fight competitions, high society and if there shows up some Reason with his logic, he definitely did die. The same goes for "witches" in which where only the women, who think with Reason. I believe you know how they end. Before every war, there is only values that crash together, and this age is nothing different. The Reasons values who dominate in our world are being attacked with Emotions and Instincts values. Only the time will tell, when the Reason will loose floor under his feet, because of forcing his values to Emotion and Instinct.

Why there is no more women in men jobs and no more women on the men places? This is because of the motives that Instinct (women), have. In the most cases Instincts are very hard working people. They care for his own safety, family. They have motive for animals and well being. They do not care for any laws and regulations. The Reason is well known of Instincts and Emotion values, so he change the money into theirs seemingly motive. So Instinct when he works, he can ensure to himself a safety. The Emotions on the other side can buy themselves what they want and with what they stand out better than others. But none of them think like Reason, so the ones who think with Reason will this planet be more suitable, than to Emotion and Instinct. The best paid places are reserved only for Reason, so this is only 20% of the population, which clearly shows that 75% women and 75% men will stay in the background with the payments; and also with the more preferable jobs. Of course there is easy to differentiate the Emotion jobs from Instinct. Where Instinct is more caring he will probably decide for PhD diploma and Emotion would probably end like politicians. And all of that only if we add Reason. If we have people only with Emotion or Instinct, their way to high grades and diploma would be hell (Reasons hell).

Why want some men to become women and vice versa? As we live in the Reason values world, Reason is very good aware, that every values that become to strong from Instinct or Emotion, can undermine his position. If I did not mention before, every mind is craving for power, and this is the only way how he wants to rule. There is also one state in the individual, when all three stop opposing one another, and this state is called being in love. But this is the topic for another time. So because of the Instinct and Emotion values, Reason is trying to change women into men and also vice versa. Why is this happening? One of the bigger problems in today's society is that Reason is transforming men into women and women into men ... Let me explain: considering Reason's concept it would be only fair to blur the line between men and women as much as possible. This makes sense, since Reason is equally distributed with both genders and equally present among both sexes. However, by blurring the line between men and women, Reason destroys the concept of Emotion and Instinct, where the two are differently distributed between men and women. We are not aware that women who behave like men (Emotion) turn off the majority of men, same is the other way around, where men who behave like "pussies" do not arouse desire in most women. That also is Reason's goal, trying to suppress all sexual activity, preferably to the point where even conception would only occur in tubes (that it is indeed Reason's goal, which has already been implemented to a certain degree). Reason is cunningly addressing this issue under the disguise of "equality", but whoever understands the role of Emotion in men and the role of Instinct in women, is well aware that in nature there is no discrimination between genders and that women are not subordinated to men and vice versa. If a woman's main reason is Instinct and she is longing for true love, she should not try to be following Reason's planning or Emotion's aggression, she should rather discover the Instinct in herself and if she manages to accept herself, she will become attractive to numerous men and it will not be difficult to choose the right one ... this is also true for men who are ruled by Emotion, if they are longing for true love, they should also not try to follow Reasons planning, nor should they try to embrace the role of a groomed prince or a gentleman (Emotion is not a gentleman, he is a tough guy The role of a gentleman is for men ruled by Instinct, who are a perfect match for women who are ruled by Emotion (masculine women). A guy who will accept his own world and discover the nature of his Emotion will have no problems with picking up girls.

What is feminism? With the theory REI the feminism is coming from unsatisfied women who thinks with Emotion. She thinks that because of his gender is in society less worthy. The Emotion, which most men thinks with is by nature hierarchical and patriarchal. Where he dominates the society becomes patriarchal. This is very easy to see in the Christianity, where the law is that all priests cannot marry women and have a family. The Emotion notice this patriarchal society only favors men (Emotion thinking) so she thinks that she is left out. The good reason is also that the Emotion likes to hang out with other Emotions, while the same thinking. And this is also one of the attributes of REI, that people who think with the same mind, are friends, in the opposite site, the people who think with the opposite or different mind, can fall in love with or we do not like them, ... for some reason ;) However the reason that comes to feminism is that women or individual think that men (Emotion), have more rights. Or said with different words, they do more important work, that is not (somehow) suitable for women.

I hope you gain enough knowledge from the theory to understand my writing.

- Tad

[Mihaela Cristina]

Hey, Tad! Is very intersesting what you wrote! You can post this in "What is feminism" thread, where are all the definions we gave to the "f word": https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

Take care!

Mihaela x

[Tadej]

Thanks Mihaela! I would do that!

Cheers!

- Tad