Why did YOU become a feminist?

[Nancy]

I began to think about feminism profoundly after I read the book, The Second Sex, written by Simone de Beauvoir. This book changed my view of genders. Genders' roles are shaped by the toys we played when we were young, by the expectations people have for us according to our genders. Men are supposed to be a breadwinner while women are supposed to stay at home. A lot of people still hold this traditional views no matter where they are. Family violence happens everywhere in different economic, social, racial background because of disparity between men and women. Power and control wheels are prevalent in social work profession. On the other hand, we also should have concerns about genders instead of feminism only. Men also can be victims of family violence. Vulnerability is the thing we should take a second consideration.

[Alexandra]

Hi! I am Alex, 35, and from Germany. I am deeply concerned about what happened in Cologne and other German cities on NYE and I do just not know where to start with actions to help women. I stumbled across this book club and I thought it is a first tiny step to get in touch with worldwide feminist topics and its history.
I was blessed to grow up in a country where it was normal to take public transportation or a bike late at night alone. Or to drink at public parks with friends and grill out in summer. Or be at public spaces sunbathing by myself without being harassed. I can think of a million situations which I deem normal and I notice that they are not for granted. Never been.
I want this to stay like this somehow or turn into something better.
I will start reading tomorrow and hope I get more inspiration for this cause.

[Shannon]

For me, I started becoming more aware of the inequality shown towards women at a young age. And, I have always had a supportive family through everything, especially when I realized I didn't just sit around waiting for someone to stand up to a bully at my elementary school who told me since I was a girl, I was not allowed to wear jeans and sneakers.

Then, when I started to actually say something about this mistreatment, I was only seven years old. My sister had come home one day, bawling her eyes out. My sister had walked into her first job as an engineer and got asked, "Who called a stripper?"

My mother of course consoled her, but I was done with the kind of treatment my sister had gotten over the years, so I told her to take me to the men, which she obviously refused. But being the stubborn girl I am, told my sister to stand up for herself and- I quote- "Make sure those bullies never get to you." (Reason I remember this is because my sister has that quote painted on her door.)

I have never forgotten that day, and I never will. At the time, I didn't know feminists existed, I just figures women would naturally stand up for themselves, because that's what I was taught to do.

Thus, ends my tale of how and why I became a feminist.

[Kytriya]

I'm more of a Pro-People then a feminist per se. I believe that it is best for society if all people have equal rights - INCLUDING the fetus who currently have no rights in most of the world! I can't buy into females ONLY count if they are on the right side of the womb argument. This is why I don't call my self a feminist, as it would mean being "pro-choice of female mother and sheer disregard of the fetus daughter's want of life". I am NOT against Feminist movement except on ONLY 1 issue. But, I do support medically necessary abortions. I define life using our definitions of death. If the heart is beating, and I kill it, it is murder. Therefore, if the heart is beating, even if its is connected to life support of some kind (even in the womb) it is still to be considered murder except when the brain is considered dead, or the victim is not considered to be able to awake from their coma and we are merely trying to keep at bay the inevitable that needs to be allowed to happen - that is death of the person in the coma.
(And yes, you can disagree with me, and we will agree to disagree! :D I won't argue this further (in this thread, but will post my thoughts on the Gloria Steinem thread). Thanks!

My life was hell. My mom had PTSD. Yes, at one time I wanted to die and wanted my parents dead. BUT... through us all living, we learned a lot from life and learned to overcome difficulties and get a better life! We aren't rich. That isn't the better life I am talking about. I learned to forgive, as did my parents. They learned to forgive their parents for the crap they did (or for not stopping the crap). My mother was able to help other people deal with death of a loved one and the PTSD that came out of that. I found that by telling my story, I was able to encourage others that "they can do it" - whatever they want to accomplish. How so? They do not have my random brain showing up - aka Fetal Alcohol Syndrome issue.

I support equal rights for all people no matter what. I may be a Messianic Jew, but I do not believe in Marriage only for those without the certain "sins" in their life. If I were to believe that only those without certain "sins" in their life should be allowed to marry, then my father, grandfather and great grandfather should not have been allowed to marry. And, by the same token, we'd have to disallow all marriages my so-called Christians (Pastors especially) who violate their faith and do "certain sin" that should not be done to a certain population - especially if done to the same sex. THIS is why I voted FOR LGBT rights! (Just so that everyone is clear on my stance here. ;) )

I also support rights for Developmental Delayed people, people who are pro-abled in any way (disabled is the common term) and for the poor, working class and middle class people.

If I were to label me with all the labels I could give myself based on all the people whose rights I support, we'd be here a while. lol

[Sascha]

Though as a guy I would not call myself a feminist I prefer to be seen as an ally and/or companion for feminism. I do my best to support the cause in theory and practise. But to call myself a feminist would not get to the heart of it because I don't make the same experiences and I am not hurt by sexism and patriarchy in the same way as women are.

To get a picture of what I mean: I feel to be more of a by-stander who is ready to intervene in support of women whenever I come into a situation where a woman feels uncomfortable. But I am not directly affected by such a situation like a woman is. That's why I don't know how it feels to suffer from sexism and patriarchy. I can only listen to women and to what they wanna tell me and I can come to defend women when it seems to be appropriate.

That being said, if you ask me now about the circumstances under which I developped my affection for feminism... then I have to answer as follows.

My first experiences with feminism came from my friendships with feminist girls. They have told me some lessons about how to behave as a companion and how not to behave like an idiot towards women.

I also grew up with Punk music and therefore came into touch with the Riot Grrrl movement with which I immediately fell in love because I liked the rebellious attitude and the uprising against oppression by patriarchy. Bikini Kill is still one of my favorite bands.

At university, I participated in some seminars about women's rights and also about feminism in the narrower sense.

And last not least I got attached to feminism over the years through my self-education by reading the works of feminist authors like Laurie Penny and Anne Wizorek and listening to the contribution of Anita Sarkeesian. And I participate in contemporary debates, mainly online. As far as misogynist violence is concerned it was an eye-opener for me to participate in the debate about "Gamergate" which is a sexist and misogynist attack on women with the goal to silence their voice.

I would say, all these experiences together bring me closer to be an ally and/or companion of feminism.

[Lívia]

I'm Lívia, 27 y.o, Belo Horizonte, Brazil.

I think I have always been a feminist, I just didn't realize until te topic got more popular recently. I've always been a little excentric, dreamy and tomboyish. Since I was a child I always contested the reason it was ok for boys practicing certain sports, playing certain games and roles, wearing certain clothes and when I tried to do the same people used to say I couldn't or I shouldn't. And for that reason I frequently quit doing what I liked because I was afraid of what people would say. Thanks God my parents never questioned me or tried to change me because of that, they have always been very supportive with everything I do.
So recently I thought about this, about other girls just like me that didn't have so much support and information, how they dealed with the same situations.
And this is a matter for feminism for me, because I believe that there isn't anything a man can do that a woman can't if she puts effort on doing it, and vice versa.

[Jasmin]

Hello, Jasmin here - 19yo German.

I never became a feminist, I always was. I just realized what patterns in society I still follow evern though they are inherently sexist, and now try to unlearn this kind of misogyny (e.g. slut shaming or the well-known "girl hate")
I also had to grow a lot to become pro-choice. It takes a bit to understand what actually means "life" and what's growing cells. If my mindset stayed the same, I'd be "wasting a chance of life" every month by ovulating. Thank God that's over.
Fortunately Germany is relatively advanced in feminism, but there's still a lot of potential for improvement, especially when it's about overcoming gender roles.

Feminism made me discover many wonderful things already and for me personally strenghtened the bond I have to other women*, so why doesn't everyone join in?

[Bhavya]

Hello, for me too there was no defining moment. it is an aspect of my personality that developed as i grew. I am lucky to have been surrounded by very strong and confident women.

[Charlotte]

Hello.
My name is Charlotte I am French and for me feminism was an evidence. I am not afraid to claim I am a feminist even if this word scares some people as they don't understand the meaning. Why women are paid less for the same job especially when some have more knowledge and skills? Why women shouldn't be allowed to behave a certain way when men can? How is it possible we still accuse women to be responsible when they are raped?...
So many inequalities we have to face and I understood that it was a necessity to be feminist and fight for our rights!!!!! I want to have a career and be indepedent. Of course I want to get married one day but I don't want people to look at me shocked when I say I want only one kid to be able to focus on work.
I think I started to become a feminist when I became more confident, realised I had a voice and that us women are incredible and deserved to be heard and respected! I screamed I was one after Emma Watson's speech, she is my source of inspiration!!!!!! Thank you Emma for showing us the way and act for a better world :)

[Ken]

On a spiritual level, I believe men and women should be equal to balance out the world. It was only natural for me to pursue equality for all gender.

[Meghan]

I can't think of a single moment in which I "became" a feminist. I feel like a lot of it was growing up and thinking "ughhh that's not fair" about a lot of things. Or sort of scratching my head when people would make sexist statements. Then I took a class in college called "Marriage and the Family" now it's called Sociology of Families. And we read some great entry level feminist material. But she never once mentioned feminism. Also, she introduced a lot of ideas I now realize were part of inter-sectional feminism. The only part she wasn't great about was recognizing the equality issues that face men as well. I am really glad that I took that class. I feel like it started to piece together all the things I had been thinking were bulls**t growing up and making me realize I wasn't the only one who was outraged by these ideas/practices/etc.

[Beb ✨]

Hi, I'm Beatrice and I'm 22, from Italy.

I think I have ever been Feminist, because my parents brought me up saying that I can do everything I want, because I'm a woman :)
And I never realized all these ploblems about gender inequalities until I start the university of Social Education. And it's really sad.

I'm going to write my tesis about feminism, I hope that I will find some inspiration here in this group :)

Bea xx

[Carla]

Hello, my name is carla i am 17 years old. I don't know if I am a true feminist, I only know that I simply don't accept any kind of discrimination based on my sex. I think th discrimination starts with all these little comments made by my classmates or my teachers, that are supposed to be funny... (e.g. women don't know how to drive, all they can do is talk for hours) I know that my friends/my teachers are joking, but that does not justify all these stupid stereotypes. So i talk back, i make fun of them or engage them in a discussion. And sometimes they admit that what they said was nonsense and unnecessary, and if they do, if i can make them change their minds, i feel satisfied. Because i am a feminist.

[Anna]

I think in this day and age, alongside a rise in educational opportunities, the real question would rather be who isn't a feminist. Why aren't they? What would make them prefer a patriarchy over equality between both sexes? That is much more interesting and if this is addressed, maybe a one day we wouldn't need feminism or any kind of civil right group anymore. Maybe I'm dreaming, but Martin Luther King also thought it would always be just a dream.

[Ardit]

I am overwhelmed by your replies, people. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[Maig]

Hi, I'm Maig, and I live near San Francisco in the US.

I can't remember any time I wasn't a feminist- in my household, men and women had different roles and responsibilities based on their gender. Yet, my parents were also very liberal as far as race was concerned compared to the general community (in the south) and thought of themselves as open minded. They taught me about equality while denying it to me and to themselves.

Now I'm in a technical field that's all kinds of unequal despite many people's best intentions. In any meeting, team or conference, it's amazing if the ratio is one woman to 10 men - for other minorities it's the same story. Technology should be one of the easiest places to eliminate visual stereotyping at least, but it isn't just the way someone looks (or is) that's eliminating them from the field. Many folks are removing themselves from the opportunity or being removed before they even have a chance to join in. I'd like to understand why, and fix the problem. We can't solve problems fast enough if we don't have EVERYONE working on solving them.

@Anna - that's a great dream!

[Leslie]

I remember in school they were telling us in history class that women didn't have the right to vote back then. I didn't really think voting was important since I was like 11. But it still upset me because why would men be allowed to vote but not women? I didn't know about feminism at that time but when I entered middle school, I learned more about it. Not at school, but on the Internet (ya I know). But anyway, I saw the word on tumblr and twitter a lot so I searched it up and then I thought back to that time in history class. That made me realise, feminism is important. We need feminism. I became even more convinced of its importance when I remember my parents believe in the man being the head of the woman. They still think that way and it still angers me more than ever. I know it's their religion and that's why I don't tell them off for it, but I still question it. In their bible, God says that he is head of man and man is head of woman. Plus men used to be able to have more than one wife while a woman could only have one husband. Idk most of my feminist feelings come from frustration of how sexist this world can be. I just want everyone to be equal.

[Iqbal]

I think there is some misinformation about "feminist" among folks from different family background and culture.
as a man, I much respect for equal rights for every single member of the society. However, there are things that divide men and women in life style. So, I think it's worth enough that we let everyone to live the way that he/she wants.

[Haily]

This is a hard question as it calls on a lifetime of experiences that define who you are. I was always a feminist as I, from a very early age was treated as equal because I was treated like one of the guys. It never occurred to me in my youth that there was a difference between the genders.

However I was aware of cultural inequalities. I remember reading Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George in elementary school. This book probably put the first grain of awareness into my head. Spoiler ahead: A brief synopsis of the book: a young eskimo girl named Julie through a series of events is forced to marry (as was their custom) and instead she chooses to run away to go live with a friend. However she has to cross a frozen wasteland and she befriends the wolves to survive. Julie is a bright, intelligent, and independent young girl whose husband is rather dim witted. She chooses to risk her life to escape this oppression.

There are several injustices at work in the book. I won't go into them all as that's not what this thread is about. However, I will say I remember empathizing with this girl but understanding that this situation would never happened to me. I understood this as a cultural difference then. It wasn't until my high school years that I began to realize that although cultural differences played a huge role in the lives of women, that simply being a woman was the biggest factor dictating their lives.

I started noticing differences in how guys act around me, other women, and even each other. I noticed how women acted different around men, and each other. I watched these young men say horribly degrading things about the young women then say the sweetest things to the same girl he had just degraded. I watched the same young woman degrade another girl that she considered a rival for popularity. Was one worse than the other? The simple answer is no, but the women should at least be able to empathize with the other. She herself was subject to the same trials...

Thankfully I navigated the high school landscape unscathed, but it was certainly an eye-opening experience. It gave me the realization that equality starts internally and moves outward. First with yourself, then you move it through your gender, your culture, your race and onto members of the opposite gender. Same principle that you don't import revolution. It has to come from within.

Change is a constant, however I have found it to be an undesired consequence by most. Change is a result of action and reaction. Circumstances can force us to change. As we react to the world around us we change. Sometimes willingly, sometimes the change is forced.

When speaking of change and feminism, we must acknowledge privilege. There is gender privilege, there is race privilege, cultural and religious privileges. Privilege of wealth and intelligence. Most of these privileges are something you're born to. You could go your whole life and never notice them. A lot of the population will not, they will also feel uncomfortable when their privilege is pointed out to them. This may result in guilt or anger. It can also result in enlightenment.

People do not like to feel guilty, they do not like to feel ignorant. Realizing that everyone does not have the same life experience, the same treatment as you have received in your own life is baffling to some. The guilt and misunderstanding lead to anger. Sadly for most, at the anger stage it will take a tragic circumstance for them to finally hear what others are trying to say.

I have often found that the more privileged are often the hardest to convince of the privilege itself as they have never experienced the backlash of not having it. As it was given, it is easily taken advantage of and dismissed.

I have digressed from why I became a feminist. I saw inequities perpetrated on women. I had them perpetrated upon myself. I am a feminist because I want to break the wall of gender privilege. I want men and women the world over to stand for and beside each other. I want you to allow your daughters to play sports and encourage their interest in math and science. I want you to encourage your sons to talk about how they feel, and not bat an eyelash if they like my little pony.

I want equality in all its forms, feminism is the first foothold. When an entire gender, and then both eliminate those boundaries we can move forward and on to the smaller boundaries that divide us. As not just men and women, but as people. John Lennon asked me to imagine, so I did... So I became a feminist.

[Leo]

Hello Everybody,

I'm Leo, a 25 years old man and I would like to apologize in case I commit any writing mistake as english is not my first language.

I actually became a feminist at a time in my life when I started doing some serious transcendental meditation. When you meditate you are able to see and observ rather than judging and then, as a kind of enlightment I became aware about the problematic. I became a feminist because I suddenly started to see how we've been all been educated in a sexist way. I became a feminist because I saw how I, my friends and even girlfriends held toxic assumptions about the women; I became a feminist because I wanted my mother, sister and girlfriends to be treated as persons and not seen as a piece of meat; I became a feminist because as a man I strongly want to release myself from all those "manly" ways; I became a feminist because I don't want anybody to tell me how should I judge women instead of being encouraged to understand; I became a feminist because if I want the problem to be solved firstly I must admit that I have been raised sexist and that is ok as long as I am aware and therefore act to improve it; I became a feminist because is the only social current that has created a context to debate gender issues openly; I became a feminist because since feminist exists the world is a better place to be.
Feminism is to be understood and not to be judged

[Eva]

Alexandra wrote: "Hi! I am Alex, 35, and from Germany. I am deeply concerned about what happened in Cologne and other German cities on NYE and I do just not know where to start with actions to help women. I stumbled..."

Hi Alex! It's Eva, 29 also living in Germany and also following the current discussions after NYE in Cologne. It frankly scares me how feminism is used in Germany for xenophobic resentiments theses days - in my opinion, sexism is not a refugee problem, but always has been and still is a problem in German society (but no one ever talked a lot about it until this year). What is your opinion on that? Looking forward to hear your ideas!

[Patricia]

Albana wrote: "I guess that I always was a feminist but I just didn't know that I was one and I didn't know what the word meant.
As little children I think that we all had our fav disney princess and all of my f..."

The same applies to me. I think I have always been a feminist and just didn't call it that. As a child I would always question typical "girly" things. For example I refused to wear pink clothes until I was like 14 because this colour "defines" you as a girl. When I was 6 my aunt asked me what costume she should buy for me for carneval, I wanted to be a pirate. She stared at me in confusion and asked why I didn't want to be a princess like all the girls. And little me was just like: why should I want to be a stupid princess, they never do anything!
Which brings me to my favorite fairytales: basically everything without a princess in it xD for the same reason, I always thought princesses where stupid, they sat around in towers, waiting for the prince to save them. I always have had and still have the opinion that men and women should be treated equally and that we have to get rid of all those stereotypes.

[[deleted user]]

I was always a feminist, however as I grew older I have become more passionate about the topic. My mother was pregnant with me when my parents fled Afghanistan. I was born in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. There my father was an abusive alcoholic, who mistreated my mother and me. A couple years after my younger brother was born my father was killed in a hit and run accident. This left my mother on her own and she remained strong. She provided for us in an unknown country. After a year my mother completed her nursing program and we were granted citizenship into the United States. Here my mother again, started all over in an unknown country, learned a new language and raised me and my brother on her own. She never dated, never remarried. She is the strongest person I know. Because of her, I am extremely passionate about gender equality, I hope that women get the same level of opportunity, and respect that men do everywhere, even the middle east in my lifetime.

[Sarah]

Leslie wrote: " I didn't know about feminism at that time but when I entered middle school, I learned more about it. Not at school, but on the Internet (ya I know). But anyway, I saw the word on tumblr and twitter a lot so I searched it..."

This is how I became a feminist as well!! I have always been for equal rights in theory, but looking back, I realize how close-minded I truly was in my teenage years (I'm 24 now). I would participate in slut-shaming and oh man, how I used to hate girls just for being girls--I didn't even know that's what I was doing! I had so much internalized hate/jealousy, and I thought it was normal. I didn't even realize I was doing it until several feminist posts popped up on my tumblr dash, and I realized how internalized misogyny really is, and how I had been perpetuating these anti-feminist ideals without even meaning to.

I feel so much happier now that I have made it a priority to love and support other women. I have also become very aware and vocal of the inequalities for ALL people that stem from misogyny--it is so ingrained in society that it affects all of humanity negatively.

Anyway, I think this is an ongoing conversation, and I'm so glad that our generation is becoming really vocal about it so that others can begin their feminist education earlier than I did! xx

[Mariana Galvão]

I'm Mariana, I'm 14 and I'm from Portugal. I'm really thankful for the country I was born and live in but I'm mostly thankful for my family and the education they gave and give to me and my brother.
I'm a volunteer in some campaigns in my city especially in my school where we collect clothes and food for the students who need these types of help. This may seem to not have anything to do with feminism but it does, these types of things make me want to end the differences that exist in our world and it makes me so happy to see that I actually make a small difference everyday just by doing simple actions.
When I discovered Malala's work I was sure I wanted to do something like that, later I found amazing TED talks about feminism and "He for She".
In Portugal we don't have gender inequality but for me as a woman I want to make sure everyone around the globe has the same opportunities I have. We don't live isolated in our own countries, we are all part of a bigger thing, our world and we are the ones that can change it. I can't understand how women live in countries where the right of being is taken away from them right in the second they're born, that's a monstrosity a thing that needs to end as soon as possible. I want to make sure everyone lives in the same way and everyone can be happy for the life they have, that's why I became a feminist.
I may only be 14, I don't know the job I want to have but I know I want to make a change in our world.

[Ash]

Merging with deleted duplicate thread

message 1: by Hermione♡EmmaWatson
14 hours, 48 min ago
Because I need to feel free in this stupid world and because of Emma Watson♡

message 2: by Lily
14 hours, 36 min ago
Because I started seeing the bias and inequality in the world and I wanted to stand up and make a change in that

message 5: by Carla
14 hours, 17 min ago
because i love being free and not being judged. because i believe i should get equal oportunities than males.

message 6: by Kirsten
9 hours, 24 min ago
Because I'm a woman and I believe in the power of self-advocacy.

message 7: by Eileen
8 hours, 28 min ago
Because I was tired of experiencing labels and stereotypes. To be free and be equal! <3

message 8: by Justine
8 hours, 13 min ago
I've become a feminist because I think equality is important to every person. I'm also reading a lot of feminist books about art history, because I'm studing history of art.

message 9: by Natalia
2 hours, 56 min ago
I had a great teacher that taught me about feminism. I highly think it's important to be able to express ourselves as women. I grew up in a very non-feminist traditional, conservative society. I was the one member that thought different from most of my family members. I wanted to create more of a feminist voice in my family.

[Nikki]

Equality, yo! I believe we can live with each other without putting one another down. And we need to change our global view of the antiquated roles of women and men... We need to look at individual strengths of each human. We're all having a human experience but some are treated as though they're humanity is less spiritually whole or less valued than others. This should not be so...

[[deleted user]]

I think that I have always been a feminist. There was not a specific moment where I decided now I am a feminist but there was a moment that I accepted the term. I have always believed in people and that everyone should have the ability to treated equally but I did not originally want to label myself as a feminist because of the bad connotation that comes with it. I accepted being a feminist around 2013-2014 when the conversation when there was a lot of conversation about celebrities rejecting the term and who just happened to be by definition feminist. I read a lot of articles and stories and decided that I shouldn't be afraid to label myself as a feminist. Yeah, I still get people who believe feminism is about bashing men and I have to correct them but I am proud everytime I stand my ground within a conversation with a peer.

[Vane]

Hola , tengo 19 años y soy de Perú. Creo que el feminismo es un movimiento que tiene que enseñarsele a los niños y niñas desde pequeños. Al vivir en un país tan machista , estoy asqueada de ver como la mujer siempre se lleva la peor parte. Recién este año comprendo lo que es el feminismo -por mí misma, los medios a veces se empeñan en mostrar otra cosa- y voy a seguir haciéndolo y leyendo más.

[Zoe]

One moment that stands out for me was in college, a guy friend of mine (who was excellent academically) insisted that girls want men to tell them what to do, and couldn't understand that, not only was he not in a position to make that statement as a man, but even if he were a woman saying it, he could hardly speak for all women. I started to see situations where women were trying to talk, and weren't being heard.

More recently, I've seen patterns of communication in my own family between men and women that I don't want to see passed down to future generations.

I'm a feminist because I think the world can be different, and I want to be there to see it happen.

[Agathe]

I think that I've always been a feminist but I've realised it few years ago when I read a Feminist paper. It makes me realised that I believed in that thoughts, but I never put a name on it and never would call that "feminism". At that moment, I've realised that the word "feminism", in my head, was a bad word, an insult, like if it was bad to think for the good of women. That paper makes me realised that the word "feminism" was much more than an argue between men and women, it was a fight of men and women together for equality. So as Sara-Claire said, it's when you accept the "word" that you become a feminist.

[Lynn]

I was lucky enough to have strong women in my family, so it was not a big stretch for me to become a feminist. I gradually became more committed to equality as I grew older.

[Nora]

Firstly, I'd like to note how inspiring it was to read every single one of these comments. I am beyond amazed at how so many people from all over the world can come together to discuss a common cause- a cause I think we all hold dear to our hearts as not just feminists, but as human beings who have compassion for those we see suffering.

Like so many others, I was never "not a feminist." I've grown up in a fairly "traditional" American family (I'm still not done growing up- I'm still just 16 with a lot to learn), yet I've always been surrounded by strong women, especially my mother. I've never liked the idea of pink for girls, blue for boys, and was always offended when the girls were always the last teammates picked when we played dodgeball in PE in elementary school. There were many other things that disturbed me, but those are the ones I'll name. I think that I began identifying with the term "feminist" when I joined Tumblr in 2013. Now, I actively try to incorporate feminism into my everyday life, at home, at school, in public, etc. Despite opposition from both men and women in my life, I've continued to never be ashamed of calling myself a "feminist," because after all, feminism is the belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. I look forward to this movement becoming more progressive, meaning I hope that the "mainstream white feminists" become more aware and accepting of of people of color and other races.

[Courtney]

Courtney wrote: "Hi my name is Courtney. I am 18 years old and from Australia. I definitely started using the word "feminist" to describe myself after Emma Watson's speech at the UN conference. Emma eliminated any ..."

My name is Courtney, I am 18 and from the United States! :)

[Courtney]

To be honest,

I do not know if I am a feminist. And before I get bashed on for it, please let me explain.
I was raised in a Christian household. I am still a Christian, but try to stay away from acting like the typical American "Christian". I want to explore feminism for it's equality. I would not define myself quite yet as a feminist, but I think a little time and knowledge and maybe I can be one too :)

[Rona]

When I graduated from high school, I applied for schools that are far away from home for the most obvious reasons, to go away and be independent. My parents were ambivalent on the decision to let me go since they feel that I'm not secure enough in another place because "I am a girl".

From that day on, I decided that I should live my life according to how I want it and not because of my gender. I never encountered the word feminist nor feminism back then. All I knew was I need to get away from the vicious grips of people telling me things to do: learn household chores, learn to cook, finish school and find a guy to marry etc., the usual things people tell me all because I am a woman.

Fast forward to present, during Christmas Eve several of my relatives commented on my single life, what with having a job and being done with school; they told me to get a boyfriend so that I won't end up being alone or worse a spinster. I never answered back to these idiotic remarks, because I will never stoop down and answer the wrong questions. All the more so, I am resolved in staying single and happy.

I won't be pretentious but having a man to call your partner is a joy, sometimes it makes you less alone in a world that asks you to join the pack. However, we're all better alone than ending up in the wrong company. Am I right? Loneliness and aloneness are two different words and concepts, you can be alone and never be lonely because you know that even without a partner you know how to deal with your own wolves on your own.

For girls out there that constantly believes that they are alone and lonely; I send you the warmest hugs and all the love the society refuses to give and constantly tells you aren't worth it.

Feminism, in a nutshell, is not man-hating nor standing on your own two female feet, it's all about the parity of the sexes, neither it is demanding for respect and the call to end the impunity towards the female sex because it is our right and a right is never demanded nor sought, it is honored.

[Rachel]

Hi, I'm Rachel and I've joined goodreads so I can take part in this group :)

My parents sent me to an all-girl Catholic school. It was a school with high academic achievers and high expectations of the students. Both my parents left school very young and worked a variety of manual jobs, and they encouraged me strongly to read and to strive academically so that I could avoid those back-breaking jobs they did.

As I got older I found myself confused by the education I was getting. On the one hand I was constantly being encouraged to achieve, to push myself, and being told that I was intelligent and capable. On the other hand there were a lot of ways I was being limited by this-is-how-a-young-lady-should-behave ideas from school and church. There were some ways I really fit that ladylike/girly-girl standard, and other ways that I really didn't.

I couldn't reconcile this massive contradiction, that I was being taught to be a strong, independent thinker, but there were certain things I am not supposed to question: why do I have to dress to "feminine" standards? (a million arguments with my mum over wearing Doc Marten boots!!) Why was I learning domestic tasks at home but my brother didn't have to? Why could't I aim for a traditionally male career? Why was there such a big deal around me dating, but it was so expected and accepted that boys my age and younger would be so open about their growing sexuality? Was something wrong with me for not wanting to have a baby?

I didn't even know what I feminist was, but I knew my personality didn't fit with the things I was being told I should be. One day, at my Saturday job, my boss gave me a book she had been reading and said "Rachel, you're a bit of a feminist, I think you'll like this". My first thought was "Am I?? What is that???". Unfortunately I really don't remember what the book was, but from her comment I began to be interested in what feminism meant.

Eventually I came to see that feminism meant it was ok for me to not fit in to that "girly" persona, even though I felt pressured to. It was ok for me to ask questions about the things I saw as contradictions and limitations. It was ok for me to voice an opinion, even if people around me really disagreed with it. Ultimately, it just reassured me that I should feel free to be me, and the me that I am isn't weird or wrong.

I'm so grateful to that woman who was my boss, and to that book I can't even remember. What a fabulous thing, to have someone set me free in that way at a time when I was really trying to figure out my identity. Wonderful.

[Chandra]

Hi, I'm Chandra. I grew up in the suburds in the USA. I've always believed in gender equality. My mom was a single mother until I was 11, and I was lucky enough to have a lot of strong women in my family. I never really thought much about it in my everyday life because it never seemed much like a problem. Then a bit over a year ago I had a big wake up call. I looked back on my life and could finally see how sexism had affected me.
The most extreme case was my first serious relationship. For the first two years I wasn't given the choice of sexual consent. My boyfriend assumed that since I was his girlfriend it was my job and I was being a "b*tch" if I didn't, and I loved him and wanted him to be happy. He was never physically violent, but if I said no he would yell, stop talking to me, or just keep asking until I said yes. I often cried through it.
I remember telling him at the time it was rape, but the idea that that was even possible was so foreign to him that he would just laugh it off. He loved me so he couldn't imagine that he was hurting me. I was just being difficult.
I never wanted anyone to be mad at him so I didn't tell anyone for years. I loved him.
I was with him for 7 years, we were engaged for the last year, and although it is over we are still friends. He finally apologized to me a few months ago (we split a year ago), but he still can't admit to anyone else that it's true.
While it might not seem like it, he's not a bad person. He wasn't doing what he was taught was rape so in his mind he wasn't doing something wrong. He really didn't understand.
This is why I'm a feminist. I live in a world that says sexism is a thing of the past, but there are otherwise regular boys growing up having no idea what consent is or that it isn't actually important. These are the basics of equality and they are being ignored.

[Morgan]

Hello!
I'd love to share my story. I really believed that women were equal for most of my life. Then something happened when I was in my early twenties that changed my mind. It saddened me so much. I thought "How can this be? Today?"

I had been working for the same company for two years. I was a top performer in sales, and I enjoyed everyone I worked with. With so much time spent in the same place, I eventually got to know someone special, and we decided to begin dating. We both told our superiors immediately. My boss told me that our relationship was fine, and just to stay professional. We did. In fact, we didn't even work in the same department. A year later, we were married. Shortly after, we were thrilled to know we were expecting.

I told my boss as soon as a co worker guessed. A week later, I was pulled into the HR office. They told us that one of us needed to quit. We were shocked. We were told that we did nothing wrong, but a higher up in the company had suddenly decided (a year later) that our relationship was against policy. Of course I had to quit. My husband was in line for a promotion, made a great deal more than me, and had been there for 10 years.

At this time, there were more than five relationships in various departments. Ours was the only one that was decided to be "against policy"

I set out to find a new job. I found the same job at a sister company, and my first interview was amazing. The woman told me "of course you're hired" and called me back for another interview. Around this time, I was begining to grow a traditionally belly. It was hidden depending on the shirts I wore, but was growing larger by the day.

The next interview also went well. But it was two weeks later, and my belly was too big to hide. The person interviewing had one look at me, and the rest of the interview was almost a joke. She didn't listen to my answers, and seems disinterested. She told me she'd call me to schedule my last interview. The call never came. I called the company back every week for two months, each time with them saying they'd call me, but the call never came.

I interviewed for jobs at minimum wage far below the job I was qualified for. Here I was, educated with experience, and I was unwanted. Because of my belly. One interview was focused only on asking me about my pregnancy. I wanted to earn my spot, and they weren't interested.

It's a huge problem that something so natural prevents women from being equal in the workplace. How is this so? I want to be a mother AND have opportunities.

I hope with this story people will understand that women aren't equal, not yet.

[Andrea]

Hi! I'm 19 years old and I became a feminist because, unfortunately, my country still has this "macho" custom. Luckily this is changing, my college gives more priority to girls, for example.

But like I said before, there are conservative families with this ancient idea of men being the ruler of the house. Because of his education, my own father seems to have this pressure sometimes, but he's actually a noble person, and he is teaching me to be a strong person too.

I became a feminist because I want women to be treated like human beings and not like objects to be won.

[Sanna]

Perhaps it's easier to identify as a feminist here in Sweden where gender equality is always high on the agenda, always discussed and always promoted - since a long time back. But even so, the obvious sometimes needs to be stated. I was lucky to have older and more clever friends at university who helped me put in words what I had always known within: that I believe gender roles are more harmful than helpful and that the individual is so much more than its gender and should therefore never be judged by it.

[bloopy]

I have always been a feminist, for as long as I can remember I never thought of women as the "inferior" or "weak" sex, and I myself have never felt less worthy than a man. I never doubted that both genders are equal. I have also always fought against the typical "women are weak" and "women belong in the kitchen" comments, not only with words but also with actions (acting as a leader, participating in "male sports", etc.). I didn't know I was a feminist, nor did I know the actual definition, until I watched Emma Watson's inspiring speech.

[Nadia]

I think I was born to be a feminist. At age 13 one of my teachers introduced the class to feminism through a newspaper article and I've never looked back.

[Nutri]

Is there a way a woman wasn't a feminist? She'd be miserable.

[Izzy]

I feel that we are all influenced by people over time, who create the beliefs we call our own. The political party we vote for could be influenced be our parents, and the subjects we like at school could be influenced by who else likes them. Feminism is something that I have always been in favour of, and I became a feminist to stop stereotypes. Why is it that men should be strong, and women weak? I find it unfair that there are certain activities that have been labelled specifically for one gender.
People are influenced to become the stereotypes of their gender, but I think that needs to change, and that feminism is the way to do that. I do not want to be seen as weak any more!

[Reeza]

Hi, I'm Reeza. I can't really remember the exact moment I became a feminist. I can only remember that I never thought about it when I was little but in more recent years it's been a major contributor towards who I am today. Luckily I went to private schools so I never really experienced, or at least I'm not aware of experiencing, gender bias in my education. I was brought up by a strong, determined, fierce woman and both her and my dad supported each other wholly. I think it was when I was old enough to realise that not all women were given the opportunities that my mum was that made me appreciate my situation, but also see the flaws in it. And as my knowledge of the subject grew, the flaws became bigger and more abundant. And that's why I became a feminist, to make those flaws minimal and allow everyone the opportunities that they shouldn't have to earn because they're basic human rights.

[Selena]

Hi I'm Selena from Spain and I'm feminist because in my country every week a woman is killed by her husband, boyfriend or ex and I've ever asked why? why man treat us like that? I mean, we all are human and we all deserve living.Moreover when I was at primary school my English teacher told us about labor inequality. Nowadays, I've just seen "suffragettes" and I've think about women revolution because we don't fight against man, we just want the same possibilities and rights, not only in some countries, in every country and in every place where a woman lives. Unfortunately, There can't be equality between countries when there's not equality between woman and man.

[Equine Dragon]

I'm Rachel I'm 37 and live in Seattle.
I have always considered myself a feminist. My mom was a feminist/hippie. I grew up surrounded by like-minded people and even spent time in a hippie commune. (FYI it's just a lot of organic-before-organic-was-cool food and art and music. I liked it because the people were really nice and we always made homemade ice cream. Hey I was a kid what do you want)
My mom always encouraged me to be independent, and be strong. Which I feel I am.
I believe feminism is supporting equal rights for all. I don't hate men, was never raised to hate men. I learned a great deal from men. But it was obvious it wasn't a fair society.
I felt it as a kid in the 80s when believe it or not it was taboo (in my neck of the woods at least) to have a mom who worked. As a result I was treated poorly in Girl Scouts. I was told things like "well your mom works so she can't be involved." And asked questions like, "do you feel sad because your mom works" my mom did pull me when she said she had picked me up and asked how was it? I said I learned to sew so I can be a good wife. That was the end of that.
But I was left out and treated like I was abused as a kid. Simply because my mom worked. She had to. I had a great childhood too. I was never hungry, never homeless, had a warm bed with clean sheets, I was clean and went to the doctor and dentist like suggested. I had lots of toys, a freaking tv in my room. I wasn't neglected or abused. But was treated like I was because she worked.
I was told to lie that my mom never never married my dad by my well-meaning grandma who only told me this to save me from being mistreated. Because at the time it was better to be divorced than never married at all.
At school we girls heard things like we can't be doctors, lawyers, astronauts, pilots, soldiers, or even POTUS because we were girls. Not from teachers but our peers. And I remember hitting a boy because I said I will be whatever I want and he said as long as it's a wife, and I hit him. I was 11. Not a good reaction, and I was called to the office at school and had a conference with my parents. My mom asked me why I hit him and I said. "Because he told me I couldn't be anything but a wife." I wasn't grounded.
Now things are better. But there is still so much to do.
There are old ideas that must go. I still believe that all girls can grow up to be whatever they want and gender will not stand in their way. I believe two gay men should be allowed to get married if they want, I believe rape culture is real and have experienced it first hand in my 20s. I believe that men are our allies not enemies and worry about their future just as much as women's. I believe human trafficking must end, that genital mutilation is a horrible practice, and girls in the middle should have access to education. I believe little boys in the Congo shouldn't be used as tools in some war. And in fact that all children should not live in poverty and go to bed hungry, that their parents can provide for their kids adequately.
This is what I believe needs to be done. I believe the word feminist isn't a woman only word. It's for everyone.

[Equine Dragon]

I'm also over the moon to see how many young ladies and gentlemen too. Are having a conversation about feminism here. It gives me faith in humanity.

[Rohini]

Hi! I'm Rohini from India. I'm 19. Feminism is something that is equal to being rude or even evil in my society. It's like...come on! How can you even be a feminist? I mean...you are a girl! And, I'm like...that's exactly why I'm a feminist. The truth is once you start asking reasons for everything you are asked to do, people brand you as a rebel and you are always looked down by them. So, me becoming a feminist was a very bad idea...for my parents. They are like...how are we gonna look for a bridegroom for you? What mother-in-law would want her daughter-in-law to be a feminist? That being said, whenever I question stuff, I'm met with a glare from my aunt or anyone.
That's probably one of the reasons I became a feminist. I was so tired of people instructing me to do this and not to do this. It just doesn't stop with this. Being a girl in India, brings with it a whole host of problems. For instance,

1. You cannot go abroad for studies. Coz, you will get spoiled. And, you are a girl!

2. You are not allowed to become an atheist. I mean, who will want her daughter-in-law to not go temples and question religion? (No offence theists)

3. Girls are meant to know all the recipes in the cookbook.

4. You are not meant to get angry. No husband wants a wife with temper.

and more and more. I got irritated by all the do-nots and lo and behold! I was a feminist before I know it.