it's personal discussion
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☠ Mind the Gap ☠ - (*) -
you win. that is soooo much worse than any image my mind can conjure up....though they are quite disturbing. Mum is very mild mannered but somehow in my head I now wonder if its all just an act and she is secretly some dominitrix. JK I was joking about it last night and even Cass was like 'Did we see two different things? cus the nighty I saw was elegant....'
long night at work, I was suppose to be off but went in to help cover for someone else. We had the grand assignment of collecting illegally parked car. How very unexciting. The night dragged.
Nate wrote: "you win. that is soooo much worse than any image my mind can conjure up....though they are quite disturbing. Mum is very mild mannered but somehow in my head I now wonder if its all just an act a..."
Haha. Yeah my mom is... idk how to describe her. She is an odd character. She isn't exactly mild mannered. She is intelligent and prides herself in intelligent conversation, but also uses that intelligence to be manipulative/controlling. She also has a very active imagination. While she was "homeschooling" my sisters and I she was a stay at home mom also trying to become a writer. She has a degree in writing historical fiction (and a masters in business administration, though that was more recently). Last time I went to her house I got to hear a story about how their dog (a massive 120 lb mutt) humped another dog (which apparently is something new because other dogs like to hump him, not the other way around) and I got a full description of how engorged their dog's junk was when mom pulled him off the other dog and how miserable he was on the walk home.
Caught somewhere between the vision and execution.
"There goes the grand marshal of the psycho parade," ~ Me - in reference to a co-worker.
Interesting day. Spent nearly three hours stuck in an elevator with three other strangers....
It was, interesting...don't quite know how else to describe it.
I should get back into journaling, I've had a few interesting experiences lately, they'd make for an entertaining read, possibly.
Probably. You're a great writer with an interesting life
Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgetten wrote: "Probably. You're a great writer with an interesting life"thanks.
...is it really more interesting than anyone else's story or just the perception of it? *Yeah I know deep thought here* but seriously...perhaps everyone has an interesting life though we focus on different aspects, what I mean to say, is- it's kind of like that 'glass half full thing' - focusing on the negative rather than the positive...idk I'm in an abnormally weird mood, over thinking everything.
I guess in a way you're right, but often for the one living the life it isn't as exciting or interesting as it may seem to an outsider. Like personally I think my life is hella boring and that knowledge makes me want to go out and do something to make it interesting (though I rarely get to). But I also have been told I have an interesting life, though personally I don't see it. Idk. It's like a drive to make a name for myself, live a life worth remembering, and just... be the best I can. Idk. I fail at it. But this drive is because I see myself as boring even if I may not be? I don't know if I'm describing this well.
nah, I get it and yeah that's what I mean too, the one experiencing it may not see it for what it really is. We tend to take things for granted things that others would give anything to have the same experiences we've had. Though some we may not have wanted, but we lived through them and gained from them. I may have had a rather privileged up bringing, more so than most, but most of the stuff I use to journal about seemed to be everyday things that most were able to relate to...I'm going off topic here, *thoughts going faster than me* this goes back to just the perception of things, ppl would comment about the things I wrote about, which made me feel good that they could relate to it as well, cus in that moment we were all on the same level. I was no different than them and I think they were able to see too, for the most part I took simple everyday occurrences and just retold them in a way that made them ...entertaining? I suppose.
There's an old quote " Someday your life will flash before your eyes...make it worth watching." ...and I can tell you it is true.,,
Idt its a bad drive to have, though I think without even knowing it, you've already left an imprint on this earth, now it's just ...idk a matter of strengthen that imprint? (Idt strengthen is the right word but you get what I mean...think) idk boring is ok with me though, less expectations . jk
look at us being all philosophical... ok 'nuff of that. moving on.
LMFAO just got a text from my bro, he recv'd his singing telegram today. A day late and a dollar short. Right in front of all his co-workers . WIN
I get it. I think it's a matter of how it's done though. I- *sighs* I don't know. This is honestly one of those touchy subjects to me. Growing up homeschooled and such I always felt like I missed out so much in life. When I had the chances I would do everything I could to make me feel like I had value and was actually interesting. I always read these stories where an average person showed beyond-average qualities and did something remarkable. They were my role models and I always wanted to be that remarkable and amazing and never felt I did. Sometimes I feel like I try to do things in my life just to say I did them. Like a checklist. Even if the goal is to have good grades, get my art in shows, etc. It's a constant strive to be better or exciting when I can't even get myself to relax and my walls to drop for the spontaneous side and to develop friendships. There are times I find myself watching someone laughing and squealing and fooling around with their friends and all I want to do is be able to loosen enough and open up enough to be so downright stupid.
Even beyond that there is this part of me that despises myself for this stupid drive. There has been an instant or two I have kept bottled up and locked away because it disgusts me to the extreme. Even if all I want to do is just say it to let it go. It drives me nuts. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it but I can never bring myself to say it or admit it even to myself. And it stems from this idea of living an interesting life.....
Sorry that got so heavy. It weighs on my mind a lot....
Nate wrote: "look at us being all philosophical... ok 'nuff of that. moving on."Whoops just saw this. Sorry
Nate wrote: "LMFAO just got a text from my bro, he recv'd his singing telegram today. A day late and a dollar short. Right in front of all his co-workers . WIN"One of my friends got my veteran friend to get down on his knees, take his hand, and sing a love song to her boyfriend. At work. From what I was told it was hilarious
Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgetten wrote: Even if all I want to do is just say it to let it go. It drives me nuts. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it but I can never bring myself to say it or admit it even to myself. And it stems from this idea of living an interesting life..... ..."...what's stopping you? just say it. (Ok I know easy for me to say right?) But seriously? what is the worst that can come of it? start small,....another challenge eh? Say it to yourself in the mirror. Once your comfortable with that say it to someone else. (Now I'm kinda curious to know what 'it' is. jk)
as for an interesting life, I think we've all but summed up that life is what you make of it, if you deem it boring it is just that to you, so deem it the opposite. We can both witness the same scene and I may see it totally different than you. So change the view, try it. (that's the second challenge) ...that person laughing and shrieking with her friends, perhaps that's all a ruse to cover up the pain she feels. *deep eh? JK*
...maybe you should journal than? jk
Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgetten wrote: "Nate wrote: "look at us being all philosophical... ok 'nuff of that. moving on."Whoops just saw this. Sorry"
no worries
Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgetten wrote: "Nate wrote: "LMFAO just got a text from my bro, he recv'd his singing telegram today. A day late and a dollar short. Right in front of all his co-workers . WIN"One of my friends got my veteran fr..."
this was a panda bear, the look on his face = priceless. Bonus my b-day comes before his so he has to wait a year to get me back and by then he'll forget....though he's been known to retaliate out of the blue. I should probably look into a body guard
Nate wrote: "Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgetten wrote: Even if all I want to do is just say it to let it go. It drives me nuts. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it but I can never bring myself to say it or admit it e..."I'm gonna pm you
Heh. I guess it kind of does come across that way, doesn't it? Well, it should be in your inbox by now.
I'm reporting that as a terroristic threat ...and apparently there is no such word as terroristic or at least spell check doesn't think so
that's 4 ppl to tell me the same thing, I think someone is sending me a sign
I doubt ppl read this but here goes - What was one of your inspiring and/or life changing moments?
could be good or bad,
For me one of the big things was actually an odd series of moments. After the shooting I took some extra classes more because I enjoy them and they relax me than anything. Art classes opened my eyes and gave me an entirely new perspective. It (and my love of geology) is part of why I went into environmental studies. Anyway, I was frequently struck with this deep, profound realization of the beautiful, ordered chaos of life. There were times where I would stare at a view I took for granted day after day and end up in awe as I realized the complexity of the world in all the colors and natural processes which led the world to be as it is at that very moment. Then add on a figure drawing class and I was in constant amazement at how beautiful, diverse, and lovely every human is in their own way. There were times I wished people could see themselves as I viewed them because in that moment they were perfect to me. It was an odd moment and mindset which I don't experience quite as often now - and I'm sure I'm not describing it well - but it was both inspiring and life changing.
figure drawing eh? uh huh and how many were males? JK! cool, why does it take a trauma for us to take note of things we normally take for granted? ...no need to answer its was more a rhetorical question.
I think I was more angry than enlightened...I know I'm weird.
None, actually. We only had a chick as our live model. I've only drawn one naked guy and that was more of a recreation of an existing work because my teacher thought I could benefit from mimicking his style of art.
the sun came out, BOOO I rather like the dreary grey sky.
The bloody cat just walked across my pizza! ...wtf
and now he is just sticking there nonchalantly licking his paws, and casting a wry glance my way.
my w/e plans have just been cancelled. that bloody well sucks. c'est la vie
I actually have some time on my hands and don't know what to do....so many options!!! sadly, I will probably end up doing nothing.
You were thinking about writing the other day. Could try that?
truebut what to write? ...and am I in the state of mind to write?
aw'ight, I'll attempt it. I make no promises....now to decide on the WHAT to write. This use to come easy, somehow I need to get back to that.
Nate wrote: "truebut what to write? ...and am I in the state of mind to write?
aw'ight, I'll attempt it. I make no promises....now to decide on the WHAT to write. This use to come easy, somehow I need to ge..."
You're probably just out of practice. You got this. *cheesy thumbs up*
the last twenty minutes went like this - type, type, type, type, type, type, read...delete delete delete delete delete
Nothing wrong with that.
everything I type, reads like I am channeling a 5th grader.
...ok that's pretty bad. Maybe make it a chance to write something from the 5th grade? Idk...
dunno. We'll see how far I get with this, maybe I'll let you preview it or I'll just tank it
Up to you. Maybe try something different like poetry? Just throwing out options here.
Neither am I. Heh. I'm not surprised you aren't a poet, though.
I hate poetry. And when I was forced to write it, if it didn't rhyme it wasn't poetry to me.
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I was in the car at the time. Darn near ducked and rolled from the thing.