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☠ Mind the Gap ☠ - (*) -
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Nate
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May 30, 2016 07:43AM
huh?
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It is what it is. c'est la vieprob cus I don't post all that much
Redlight King "Comeback"
Many times I've walked the line
I've rolled the dice and questioned my life
Many times I sacrificed and dealt with the pain...
Now Playing - Same damn Life - Seether
Now playing - Nobody praying for me - Seether "Nobody Praying For Me"
I'm a whisper lost upon wind
I'm the ember that will burn you down
I'm the water that will drown you
I'm a star that's just a black hole now
I'm a terrifying danger
I'm fruit decaying on the ground
I'm a swallower of anger
I'm the tree that falls and makes no sound
I make no sound…
'Cause if I stand up, I'll break my bones
And everybody loves to see a fall unfold
Ain't nobody giving up, 'cause nobody gives a fuck
Stand up and break my bones
Everybody wants what they just can't hold
There's nobody praying for me
I am fungus in the forest
I'm a lizard with a poison tongue
I'm the child in the manger
I'm the one who sacrificed his son
Rust is showing on my armor
I am wheezing like an old man done
I'm a product of my anger
I'm the bullet in a loaded gun
'cause if I stand up, I'll break my bones
And everybody loves to see a fall unfold
Ain't nobody giving up, 'cause nobody gives a fuck
Stand up and break my bones
Everybody wants what they just can't hold
There's nobody praying for me
Now playing - State of my head - Shinedown "State Of My Head"
Oh, my eyes are seein’ red
Double vision from the blood we’ve shed
The only way I’m leavin’ is dead
That’s the state of my, state of my, state of my head
...
Bartholomew - The silent comedy "Bartholomew"
Oh my god
Please help me, knee deep in the river tryin' to get clean
He says wash your hands, get out the stains
But you best believe, boy, there's hell to pay
Yeah you best believe, boy, there's hell to pay, sayin'
Come on
Oh my god
Please help me, waist deep in the river, can you hear my plea?
He says, son, you come like a beggar in the streets
You might make it, boy, but by the skin of your teeth
You might make it, boy, but by the skin of your teeth, sayin'
I rambled with the worst of them
Fell in love with a harlequin
Saw the darkest hearts of men
And I saw myself starin' back again
And I saw myself starin' back again
Oh my god
Please help me, neck deep in the river screamin' for relief
He says, it's mine to give, but it's yours to choose
You're gonna sink or swim, you're gonna learn the truth
No matter what you do you're gonna learn the truth sayin'
Ate the bread that once was stone
Fell from a cliff, never broke a bone
Bowed down to get the kings overthrown
And I'm all alone and the fire grows
And I'm all alone and the fire grows..
Heaven Knows - The Pretty RecklessOne, two, three and four
The devil's knocking at your door
Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie
Start your life with your head held high
Now you're on your knees
With your head hung low
Big man tells you where to go
Tell 'em it's good
Tell 'em okay
Don't do a goddamn thing they say
Oh, Lord, heaven knows
We belong way down below
Oh, Lord, tell us so
We belong way down below
Way down below, way down below
Way down below, way down below...
I'm going to hell, who's coming with me?
I know you're out there. Watching, waiting...
some ppl just need a high five, with a chair, upside their head...
now playing - What a shame - shinedownThere's a hard life for every silver spoon
There's a touch of grey for every shade
Of blue
That's the way that I see life
If there was nothing wrong,
Then there'd be nothing right.
My theme song - Sound of Madness - shine down
Oh no, here we go...
Another loose cannon gone bi-polar
Slipped down, couldn't get much lower.
Quicksand's got no sense of humor.
I'm still laughing like hell.
You think that by crying to me
Looking so sorry that I'm gonna believe,
You've been infected by a social disease.
Well, then take your medicine.
wretches and kings - Linkin park waiting for the end - Linkin Park
Just one yesterday - Fall Out BoyAlone together - FOB
I don't know where you're going,
But do you got room for one more troubled soul
I don't know where I'm going,
But I don't think I'm coming home
And I said, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end.
Prayer for the damned - sixx amGuilty Pleasure - Gone for days
Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room? Felt as though the walls were caving in and crashing down around you? Have you ever struggled to find just one good reason to pull yourself up and go on? Ever wonder what its all for? What's the purpose, not just in life but in general? ...Then take a number my friend cus you're not alone. It's true we've all been there, and anyone who tells you they've not ever had the thought of giving up is fucking lying. unless you were fool enough to ask a 6 yr old.
Point is everyone has those 'woe is me' days, weeks They pass. Some may linger longer then you'd like for them to but they eventually do pass. Mum once said to me - "When you've hit rock bottom, there's only one way to go, and that's back up." Mum was always telling us to hang on and wait for the shift, cus things are constantly changing and so it stands to reason that eventually whatevers got to you will change too. But you have to be open to the change and you have to realize that it may not be the change you wanted. Make of it what you will. errr well, tbh it could also fall under the - 'Careful what you wish for' cliche'
Story time....I remember once a VERY long time ago I tried out for a sport and didn't make the team, I think it was my first taste of rejection, I prob was 'bout...let's say 8-ish. Anyway I came home and went down to the pond to sulk and feel sorry for myself. a 'woe is me' day. it was probably about an hour or so when my uncle came down to sit next to me on the grassy hill with the pond water lapping at our shoes. "You're mates came by, they're waiting for you."
"They can wait." I said pulling grass from the hill and throwing one blade at a time into the pond. He gave no response and watched the water for several moments. I saw no sign of him leaving. "They don't need me, I'm worthless anyway." I told him and threw a pebble into the water. I watched the rings it created while my uncle reached into his pocket and pulled out his billfold.
He went through and pulled a bill from the folds. He turn to me and asked if I wanted it. It was a blue euro bill (in the states it'd the equivalent of a $20 bill.) I thought it was a bribe, a way to pull me from sorrows and self pity. Nevertheless of course I said yes. c'mon it was money, who doesn't like money?! He crumbled the bill into a small ball and asked if I still wanted it. I gave him a rather questioning look but once again said yes. He then leaned forward and dipped it into the water. The bill now sopping wet dripped onto his pants and me. Again he asked if I 'still' wanted it. I have to admit by this time I was getting a bit irritated. either give me the fricken money or take a walk old man.! "Yes." I huffed.
"But why? I mean look at it, its tattered, and wet, worthless, wouldn't you say?"
"No, it can be smoothed out and it'll dry, and its still 20 euros."
"Exactly, and you are still you, not worthless." He paused for a moment and smoothed the bill out and laid it on a rock to dry. "You may be a bit too young to understand this, but someday you will. People go through things in life, things that will make them feel defeated or worthless as you say, but no matter how tattered and worn they become from their ordeals they will never lose their value to those who love them." Idk but that has always stuck with me and I thought it was so profound and clever. ... up until today when I read almost the same type of lesson a teacher gave his class on a social media site. smh and I thought my Uncle had this extraordinary philosophical insight. It was all ruse!
But that's neither here nor there, the moral is still the same just as the bills worth was still the same. Life gets complicated and we all hit a wall at times. You can spend you time banging your head against it or perhaps just take a step back and admire it. One day you're either going to barrel your way through it or it'll come crashing down, one way or another it'll be gone. Yes, I like metaphors, what of it?
Idk what the purpose of this post is really, just stuff rattling around in my head, idk...
Don't get too comfortable cus life has a funny way of turning on you.
Nothing worthy of reporting. Just another day.
There is a thin line btwn guilt and blame, all too often the line is blurred.
...I remember writing this. smh. I hated that professor. That was the first and last summer writing course. summer 2010
I step up onto the steel beam railing and look out into the abyss. Ahhh Total darkness. Has I stand here now I can’t help smiling. Bridge jumping by day is a thrill in its own right but at night it is a total rush.
I hold my arms outstretched and let the breeze of a warm summer’s night flow, rippling my shirt, rustling my hair. I pull my shoulders back, jolt my chin out & upwards. It’s a gesture of defiance as I challenge the powers that be.
I’m about to plunge straight into the mouth of the unknown. It’s symbolic really, plunging straight into one of my worst fears…..The unknown. I take one last deep breath and dive head first into the abyss.
The hallow feeling in my stomach begins the moment I leap. There is little resistance has my body splices through the darkness soaring downward at an astonishing rate of speed. My heartbeat quickens and the sound of the wind rushing past me is now replaced by the sound of my own pulse as it echo’s in my ears. My chest tightens with the anticipation of what is to come. The adrenaline rush is in full swing.
Free falling. 40 feet, 30 feet, 20 feet 10 feet. Where is it? I’m expecting the impact at any second but can’t see it coming. Fear and thrill all at once, my body is in full sensory overload. Just when I think I can’t stand another second the moment I’ve been waiting for arrives.
With a jolting shock, my body is thrust into the icy depths of the water below. The jarring impact is the climax of the plummet. It’s a total high, adrenaline, nature’s drug.
I swim to the surface, take a breath and look to the sky. I made it; I defied the powers that be and lived.
blehk never gets any better, always leaves a dirt like after taste. No I've not tasted dirt though I would image it'd leave a gritty residue behind, very much the same.
hi ho hi ho its off to work I go. (Not whistling, more like grumbling) & tomorrow we have a training seminar. HOW very exciting!! *KMN*
on the up side, it's a short shift. cheers
Watching paint dry would be more interesting than this.
I feel like I'm back in HS, trying not to laugh while the teacher is giving a lecture.
The guy in front of me has the worst comb over I've ever seen. Dude, just impress your baldness.
Thank God that's over. Back to the hotel.
Scott on his lap top, having problems with the system loading. Scott: - Great I can't even get it to come up now.
Me: Dude there are some issues one keeps to themselves.. though I do blv there is medication for that.
Scott: *death glare* ha ha. Not funny.
I thought it was.
Already missing her. Why is it easier when she's the one to go away for a bit, I'm fine then...odd
...I may have just shrieked like a girl. That fricken thing was huge and idk what the hell it was. Now I feel buggy. *shuddres*
second day of total boredom. I'm bored enough that I'd take one of those questionnaire thingys, like the ones I always roll my eyes at, ya know the ones with all those random questions...where's one when you need it?
Odd the kind of thoughts that enter ones mind when extremely bored. err at least my mind...today's verge on morbid and dark. Yesterday's were comical and obscure.
obscure is not the word I intended to use. c'est la vie
I'm in a very sarcastic mood. Even more so than usual.
Idk if I am bored, tired, hungry, thirsty or what, maybe a combination of all of them.
Mod
Nate wrote: "The BOOK (Title to be disclosed later) https://www.goodreads.com/story/show/...
first chapter and a few excerpts"
Does this mean your book is in the works??
it's personal
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Brother (other topics)Artful (other topics)
