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Old Contests > Contest 7/19/09- 7/26/09

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message 1: by Paige (last edited Jul 20, 2009 08:04AM) (new)

Paige Miller Start: July 19th
End: July 26th
Minimum WC: 500
Maximum WC: 1000
Theme: Expectations
Genre: Any
Judge: Julie
Judged on: The usual :)

Enjoy yourselves! :)



message 2: by Julie (new)

Julie | 17 comments I'll be happy to judge and/or encourage input from others.

:D

Happy Writing!


message 3: by Paige (new)

Paige Miller Julie wrote: "I'll be happy to judge and/or encourage input from others.

:D

Happy Writing!"


Thanks, Julie.

Good luck, Paige!


Xerxes Break(Vivian Ephona) (ephona) I'll try to enter ^^


message 5: by Catamorandi (new)

Catamorandi (wwwgoodreadscomprofilerandi) Sorry guys. I didn't have time to come up with a good short story for the topic of expectations. I wracked my brain, and nothing came up.


message 6: by Julie (new)

Julie | 17 comments Hmmm...no stories yet. I'll extend the deadline to the 28th, and come up with some starter ideas....

Expectations:
**Holidays (Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween, 4th of July, Memorial Day ;)

I, personally, have too many expectations for certain days, and can sometimes end up disappointed.

** You could write a story about someone else's expectations of you. (Mom, dad, boyfriend/girlfriend)

Anyway, those are my ideas. :D




message 7: by Elaine, We Miss Tink! (new)

Elaine (caladhiel) | 122 comments Mod
Thanks for the extention, Julie! I haven't had time to think up or write a story yet, but I'll try!


message 8: by Elaine, We Miss Tink! (new)

Elaine (caladhiel) | 122 comments Mod
I'm writing one right now! I'll try to get it in ASAP!!!


message 9: by Elaine, We Miss Tink! (last edited Jul 29, 2009 07:31AM) (new)

Elaine (caladhiel) | 122 comments Mod
Okay, so here is my entry, but, first, there are a few things I must explain: This is a potential scene for a story I am cooking up. I don't know if it will make much sense without the bigger story, but hopefully it appears the same. It is a little over the limit, but it was much more before I cut it down. (I thought that around 100 over wasn't too bad - not as bad as more than 600 over anyway). I wrote it all today and just glanced over it for errors, so I'm sure it has quite a few. Anyway, here it is:

Title: The Expectations for a Gentleman of High Standing
Author: Elaine
Word Count: 1113

They proceeded into the grand sitting room. There silk hangings blocked out the greyness of the coming storm. Life size portraits lined the walls and spotless furniture sat perfectly positioned. Mrs. Radley sat, but Lucias began to pace. They waited in silence for a time. As each minute passed, Lucias became more and more anxious.

“What do you want, girl?” Mrs. Radley finally snapped at Lily, who still stood in the doorway. “Don't you know when it is polite to leave your master and his company in peace?”

“Well, yes Ma'am, but I just...,” her confidence seemed to falter under the older womans stern glare.

“Is there something you need, Lily?” Lucias turned and asked kindly.

“I was just wondering if you would like some tea brought in, Sir,” she smiled appreciatively.

“No thank you, Lily,” he answered.

“Yes, please do,” Mrs. Radley objected before the girl could leave.

“Mother, we don't have time,” Lucias said, crossly.

“Don't we? Bring in the tea, girl, and some biscuits as well.”

Lucias let it be, but resumed his pacing.

“Sit, my son,” Mrs. Radley said after Lily had left.

“I'm fine.”

“You are tracking mud all over your floor.”

With a huff, Lucias took the seat opposite her. “What is it, Mother?”

“Where were you just now?” she asked.

“I'm sorry?”

“Where were you galloping so hastily from?”

“I was just over at the Bells' estate.”

“I see.”

“And why do you seem so tart about it?”

“Because that is exactly where you have been every single time I have come to call.”

“Surely you do not object to me visiting the Bells? They are one of the most repected families in all of Derbyshire!”

“No, of course I don't object of you calling on the Bells,” she emphasized the name, “but you must remember, us Radleys are the highest family in the shire.”

“Well, of course, Mother. I don't understand your meaning. What are these rumors that you have proven as true?”

“Ariel Bell is a fine, accomplished young woman. She is sociable, talented, bright, and gorgeous.”

“I do not deny any of it, but you have not answered my question.”

“That servant who lives with them-”

“Celeste?”

She continued as if he had not interrupted, “-has none of those traits. She is awkward and scares away any whom she tries to talk with. She does not commit herself to any hobbies. She is hardly what would be called 'accomplished'. She hides herself away in that large home. She wanders the moors like a tramp. And she is far, far, from handsome.”

“Celeste is shy and solitary, that is all,” Lucias countered, his brow furrowing offensively.

“Neither of which are amiable qualities.”

“Mother!”

But just then, Lily arrived with the tea and biscuits. When she had left again, in silence, Mrs. Radley stood and took up Lucias' pacing.

“I do not see your point!” Lucias snapped.

“It's there, even in the way you say her name!”

“Celeste's?”

“Yes. You have a liking to that girl, and I will not allow it!”

“Me and Celeste? Mother, you don't understand-”

“Luke! Trust me, I understand. It is you who must now be reminded of certain expectations.”

“This is all ridicules! I am in a hurry. I'm sorry, but I must go,” he made to stand.

“You will listen to me,” she said in her dangerous voice, coming to stand over her son. When he did not answer and remained sitting, she continued, “Your father's great-great-great grandfather lived in this mansion. The Radleys came about their fortune by hard work.”

“I am well aware of it,” Lucias muttered.

“My great-great grandfather come upon his fortune suddenly without effort. Both fortunes have been past down from father to firstborn son. I, however, have no brothers, so I was bequeathed my father's sum. You, Luke, are my only living child and, therefore, you have received both your father's and my inheritance. But you have not only been given wealth – you have been brought up with high standing and class.”

“I know all of this, Mother,” Lucias said, trying to persuade, “I truly am in a rush. Can you please just tell me what this is about?”

“If you answer one question.”

“Yes?”

“Where are you off to?”

“I...”

“Are you going to see her?”

“No! Well, not exactly...she's gone and we must search for her!”

Mrs. Radley remained mute as she resumed her seat, but her eyes betrayed her tortured satisfaction. “It's no wonder all the servants of every house hold in the shire are wagging their tongues about you and that girl.”

“It's not like that!”

“Well, you sure give that impression!” she snapped and then continued with more grace, “You must think of how your actions appear. You spend all of your time over at that place. You are seen in her company even outside the Bells' walls, and you are about to rush after her when she is so foolish as to run away. Eloped, most likely.”

“She hasn't,” he shook his head and then bit his tongue.

“You are a gentleman, Lucias! You are expected to wed a lady. You must.”

There was silence as Lucias avoided his mother's eye.

“You are not going to search for her.”

He looked up at her, wildly, “But someone must! I saw her strolling away across the miry moors with but a bag of possessions – she can't be far. A storm is coming and it will be dark soon. I must-”

“No, Luke. They may search for her if they wish – though I cannot see why they would do so (let her go, I say) – but you will be staying in your house as any respectable man would.”

“I can't just-”

“For mercy sakes! Answer me this: Do you or do you not love her?!” The rage in which she hissed these last words seemed to darken the already dim room and tremble in the air.

Lucius did not respond, appearing almost unsure of the answer. Mrs. Radley lifted her chin, her eyes flashing with fiery. Neither of them had touched their tea, which sat cold and still on the mantle before them. A bolt of lightning flashed; its brilliance penetrating the ornate drapes. Thunder rolled and shook the china ornaments and the silver settings.

“You may continue visiting the Bells,” Mrs. Radley began to speak, her voice jerky with rage, “You will never speak of her again. You will not look for her. You will make things right.” She stood and made for the door. “Or so help me,” she said, briefly glancing back at him, “you will be no son of mine.”


message 10: by Julie (new)

Julie | 17 comments I declare Elaine to be this week's winner!

Thanks Elaine, for submitting a story! I'll get back to you on some feedback tomorrow. (I'll use the same format that was used in past contests.)

Preliminary feedback: I got chills when Mrs. Radley started flexing her matriarchal muscle! I was getting flashbacks of Lady Catherine De Burg from Pride and Prejudice. Yes, I think you should keep going with this story. I know I'm curious as to Luke and Celeste's relationship, and why Celeste is missing.

Thanks again! I enjoyed reading it!
:D


message 11: by Elaine, We Miss Tink! (new)

Elaine (caladhiel) | 122 comments Mod
Thanks so much Julie!!! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! I was so happy that, by your feedback, it is obvious that you were able to see it the same as I intended.

Yes, Mrs. Radley does seem a bit like Lady Catherine De Burg. lol! I was personally visualizing her like Mrs. Thornton from North and South. Mrs. Radley, however, is, well, meaner. lol! At least in the movie, Mrs. Thornton seems to be, deep down, just wanting her sons happiness. I don't think Mrs. Radley really cares.

This story is a rather interesting one. I actually started writing it as in present day. That probably seems really strange after reading the story above (that obviously would have been in it), but I could really see it working in both worlds. I'm pretty sure, now, however, that I'm going to try it in this setting. I think, overall, it will lend much more to the story. Should I tell you one of the big plots? *whispers* Celeste can see the future. *returns to normal voices* I'm excited to give it a try! =D


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