Here is villanelle I've been working on. What do you guys think? I'm open to all feedback!
Through the thunder the crafty caterpillar sleeps; A hole in his cocoon, bordered by pane. All the while, his metamorphosis creeps.
The scaly bodies of the fish with no feet Must bond as a school to avoid the strict strain Of living through the thunder while the crafty caterpillar sleeps.
Steep bluffs provide no cover, a treacherous night amongst sheep; The caterpillar’s home will not be his bane. All the while, his metamorphosis creeps.
The squirrel beside him fears for his keep; The trove in his tree becomes splotched with rain. Through the thunder the crafty caterpillar sleeps.
Finding shelter as a butterfly with wings so sleek, Doesn’t shift his dreams; he will not soon wane. All the while, his metamorphosis creeps.
Forest wildlife struggles as the clouds weep. Waiting, longing for comforts of the day. Through the thunder the crafty caterpillar sleeps; All the while, his metamorphosis creeps.
Through the thunder the crafty caterpillar sleeps;
A hole in his cocoon, bordered by pane.
All the while, his metamorphosis creeps.
The scaly bodies of the fish with no feet
Must bond as a school to avoid the strict strain
Of living through the thunder while the crafty caterpillar sleeps.
Steep bluffs provide no cover, a treacherous night amongst sheep;
The caterpillar’s home will not be his bane.
All the while, his metamorphosis creeps.
The squirrel beside him fears for his keep;
The trove in his tree becomes splotched with rain.
Through the thunder the crafty caterpillar sleeps.
Finding shelter as a butterfly with wings so sleek,
Doesn’t shift his dreams; he will not soon wane.
All the while, his metamorphosis creeps.
Forest wildlife struggles as the clouds weep.
Waiting, longing for comforts of the day.
Through the thunder the crafty caterpillar sleeps;
All the while, his metamorphosis creeps.
Samuel J Crippen, 11/01/2014