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Through My Eyes
Emma ~I am Darkness, feel my wrath!~ wrote: "Message me."
Sorry I've been afk
Sorry I've been afk
Playing pool and a video game with the guy I am head over heels for but can't have...I swear I like trouble. Ugh...It's going to attack me. I know it will. I still have so many feelings for him. My heart skips a few beats whenever I see him. I have to catch my breath when I hear him or notice him. What's even...well...idk if this makes it better or worse...but for both we were nitpicking at each other. During pool, he was trying to get me to hit the 8 ball. He chuckled when I missed. I told him to not miss. We both covered up the holes the other was aiming for. Jokingly, I told him to stop distracting me or I'd beat him up with my pole. He told me to try it. I tapped him a couple times with my pole. One time, I even grabbed his (when he was taking his shot. I did it before he shot so it wouldn't actually mess him up). The video game was just as interesting. Before he played, he taunted me. When he came in...all hell broke loose...wow talk about targeting each other. And tonight, when I said goodnight to everyone that was still in the room...he answered <3 His cocky grin...I can't help but smile myself. I've caught him looking at me...and quickly averted my gaze...what's wrong with me???? He broke up with me...he doesn't have feelings for me...does he?...
So much confusion...does he have feelings for me or not? Why can't I just let him go...? :(
Why should I go on pretending? I have a lot of "friends" but i'm still completely alone. I feel...empty. It's been two months. Maybe three. I should be ok now. But even as I type this, I've got tears creeping out. I don't even know what brought it on. It just hit me. Took much longer than I expected...but now I'm being punished for the fun that I had with him the other day.
I'm thinking I should just tell everyone that they're better off without me...
Why should I stay anywhere? I'm even thinking about telling the people that I know in real life that they're better off without me and I'm better alone...it's not just online. I could delete everything: facebook, google+, hangouts, gr, both of my emails, etc...then all I have to do is find a cave to live in to get away from the people I know in real life. I'll leave my phone behind so that way no one can call me...Oh yeah...I'd also have to delete my backup gr account. No, I will not give it to anyone...it's in case anything happens to this one
Have you tried talking to him?
We still talk. We're still friends
But have you brought up your feelings?
I've talked to him about it...kind of. Not really head on but I have told him. We've had one major heart to heart conversation right after the break up and that entailed everything: reason for the break up and I'm sure feelings were brought into play. He wasn't ready for another relationship. His first ex broke up with him over the summer. We started dating in August, which would have given him two months give or take. Also his dad doesn't really want him in a relationship because his grades started slipping.
If it's been a couple months it sounds like another heart to heart is called for, honestly.
I don't think he has feelings for me anymore. I'm not one to push...if I find out he still likes me and asks me out again...I'll go from there...
Yes, but if it hurts you this bad? At least you'll know for sure whether he does or does not have feelings so you won't keep guessing. I guess the one plus is you won't know 100% for sure if he doesn't like you anymore. But I know you can make it through this. Just remember people do want to help you and care about you.
I admit that I only know what your like on here and from how much I know of you, you seem awesome and if your first boyfriend couldn't see that then he wasn't the right boy from you. The right boy for you should be the one that thinks your awesome and vice versa. You can't give up hope, because of one person that you loved and everyone else rejecting you, if there are still people here that care for you.
Thank you.
So, I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm still sticking around, as I am typing this right now. However, I will not be on much. Until the 8 of January, my wifi access will be very limited. Maybe I'll be able to get back into my writing during that time though!! :D
So, I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm still sticking around, as I am typing this right now. However, I will not be on much. Until the 8 of January, my wifi access will be very limited. Maybe I'll be able to get back into my writing during that time though!! :D
So...I'm thinking about posting some more writing. Again. For the millionth time. lol...What do you all say?
I'm not nearly as good as Nate...
Try your best you have a lot of people that support you
Thanks. I will. Once I figure out what to post. lol
I've got so much I could post...
Artemis is getting stronger. Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger wrote: "I'm not nearly as good as Nate..."wooo stop the train. I've been told time and time again so now I'll pass the info onto you. 'You can't compare yourself to another, everyone's writing style is unique to themselves very much like our signatures are.'
My advice- Write from the heart, write what you know. Write what is coming to you in the moment , no matter the order, you can always peice it together later in the editing.
I may be just slightly above average but I'm not all that great of a writer myself. I have a lot to learn and long way to go. Besides I haven't written anything in about a year, so while I may have had some good work in the past anything I was to write now would be complete rubbish. I've lost my muchness...(Mad hatter quote)
If writing is what you enjoy than write for you, who cares what others think.
My writing never comes together. lol. I write, stop, don't get back to it, start writing something different, stop, forget about it, write something different, stop, don't get back to it, so on and so forth
So does just about everyone else. All that means is that you weren't really invested in the piece. I have a whole file of unfinished and forgotten works. Every now and then though one of them calls to me, so I would say just do like I did and store them away for another time.
same here. I don't throw away my writing. I've only finished one book and IDK how many poems. lol
I guess I write some decent poems. I've posted a couple in the beginning of the thread
Just be careful. I've found some of my stuff literally copy and pasted onto other sites more than one time . ppl always trying to jack other ppls writing as their own.
Ok. Thanks for the warning. I'll keep it in mind
You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in colour
And do the things I want
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in colour
And do the things I want
You think you got the best of me
Think you've had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong
Think you've had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on over you
You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You try to break me, but you see
They told you I was moving on over you
You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You try to break me, but you see
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
In the end...
Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
In the end...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
(When I'm alone)
-Credit goes to Kelly Clarkson
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
(When I'm alone)
-Credit goes to Kelly Clarkson
Woke up late today, and I still feel the sting of the pain.
But I brushed my teeth anyway, got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face.
I got a little bit stronger.
Riding in the car to work, and I'm trying to ignore the hurt.
So I turned on the radio, Stupid song made me think of you,
I listened to it for minute, but then I changed it.
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger.
But I brushed my teeth anyway, got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face.
I got a little bit stronger.
Riding in the car to work, and I'm trying to ignore the hurt.
So I turned on the radio, Stupid song made me think of you,
I listened to it for minute, but then I changed it.
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger.
And I'm done hoping that we can work it out,
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around.
And ohhh
I'm done thinking, that you could ever change.
I know my heart will never be the same,
but I'm telling myself I'll be okay.
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around.
And ohhh
I'm done thinking, that you could ever change.
I know my heart will never be the same,
but I'm telling myself I'll be okay.
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.
Doesn't happen over night, but you turn around and a months gone by,
And you realize you haven't cried.
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer.
I'm busy getting stronger.
And you realize you haven't cried.
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer.
I'm busy getting stronger.
And I'm done hoping that we can work it out,
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around.
And ohhh
I'm done thinking, that you could ever change.
I know my heart will never be the same,
but I'm telling myself I'll be okay.
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.
I get a little bit stronger.
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around.
And ohhh
I'm done thinking, that you could ever change.
I know my heart will never be the same,
but I'm telling myself I'll be okay.
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.
I get a little bit stronger.
Getting along without you baby,
I'm better off without you baby,
How does it feel with out me baby?
I'm getting stronger without you baby.
I'm better off without you baby,
How does it feel with out me baby?
I'm getting stronger without you baby.
And I'm done hoping that we can work it out,
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around.
And ohhh
I'm done thinking, that you could ever change.
I know my heart will never be the same,
but I'm telling myself I'll be okay,
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.
I get a little bit stronger.
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around.
And ohhh
I'm done thinking, that you could ever change.
I know my heart will never be the same,
but I'm telling myself I'll be okay,
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.
I get a little bit stronger.
I'm just a little bit stronger.
A little bit, a little bit, a little bit stronger.
I get a little bit stronger.
-Credit goes to Sara Evans
A little bit, a little bit, a little bit stronger.
I get a little bit stronger.
-Credit goes to Sara Evans
Well...I guess it's easy enough to see now: I'm starting to feel better. I'm getting over him. I can think about him and not cry. Sometimes I still wish I had his hugs and the cuddles...but I'm getting better. I'm getting stronger! :D
Is that what the knocking was for? To see if I was still around?