Question #5: The author writes, “People cannot change their habits without first changing their way of thinking.” What do you think about this statement? How does it relate to de-cluttering?

[Nelia]

I think that the material things we surround ourselves with are often a manifestation of our inner thoughts. Somehow, this reminds me of the advice: "If you can see it, you can be it." Therefore, a calm environment with less clutter will help relax the people in it.

[Susan]

I believe that what we hold important is reflected in our "stuff". There have been life events that have caused me to adapt my thinking and, seen through the lens of the author - probably changed the possessions I held important along the way. I do not think one can fundamental change their ways of thinking - but I think we adapt. The way we think goes much deeper than what our closets and drawers look like.

Just read this over ... sounds rather deep for a Monday morning! :)

[Nelia]

Deep is good. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

[Maureen]

It's an interesting statement because she seems to go about this tidying in a systematic way which doesn't encourage a lot of thought--and I'm not sure I would agree with it in any case. My thought is that when people change their behaviour, it helps them think differently about things. And Kondo's book does help people try different ways of handling their possessions which in turn gives a different perspective.

But I do talk to my stuff now which I'm not sure is a good thing.

[Susan]

As Maureen says, I agree that talking to our stuff might not be a good thing!

In my own quest to clear out clothing, I've had to change my way of thinking before I could change my behavior. I almost always feel bad about getting rid of clothing that I haven't worn often because I think I've wasted money. I keep many of my clothes too long for that reason, even though I don't wear them. So I've started to tell myself it's OK to donate the old ones and buy some new ones that I'll wear more often. I have also stopped buying clothes because they're on sale for a great price - nothing is a bargain if you end up not wearing it.

[Allison]

Susan wrote: "As Maureen says, I agree that talking to our stuff might not be a good thing!

In my own quest to clear out clothing, I've had to change my way of thinking before I could change my behavior. I almo..."

So true, Susan. I always end up buying things for myself or the kids because it's on sale or such a great price ... when in fact it's not really needed.

[Allison]

As for Kondo's statement, I entirely agree with that. I believe the conscious thinking of how to change for the better has to come before the actual change occurs, whether there are benefits or not. I think this is true whether we are getting into the mindset of decluttering or stopping smoking, or changing eating habits for the sake of our health, and so on. Habits are just that, really. They're not necessarily intrinsic to who we are and what shaped us in the first 5 years of life...that part of us would be very difficult to alter, no matter how much we changed our way of thinking.

[Tanya]

I wholeheartedly agree with the statement. Here's one of my examples ... Over the last few years I've been making a conscientious effort to be more environmentally friendly. This has lead me to only purchase what I truly need, therefore I will have less to throw out once I'm done with the item. Also, when I'm done with an item, I will try to find a new home for it - sell it, donate it, give it to someone who I know will love/need it - instead of sending it to a landfill. Less is more!

[Sylvia]

I agree with Allison's comments about habits etc. For clarification, just re-read what she wrote -thanks! Too tired just now to elaborate :))thanks!

[Allison]

Tanya wrote: "I wholeheartedly agree with the statement. Here's one of my examples ... Over the last few years I've been making a conscientious effort to be more environmentally friendly. This has lead me to onl..."

Like Tanya, I too am a great believer in buying things with less packaging and the less-is-more way of thinking. I could never really bring myself to buy my children plastic toys (mostly because they would be on the earth forever, but also because I felt they lacked the beauty of more natural toys made of wood or wool) and I did most of my shopping (clothes and toys) at consignment stores. This worked out extremely well when they were younger.

Now, I've started buying all kinds of goods on Kijiji: gently-used, good-quality furniture, antique pieces, rugs, light fixtures, etc. I remodeled my entire living room for about $2000 and it looks great. I end up saving money, the person at the other end (and sometimes that's me!) makes a bit of money, and no one has to pay the tax!! :) Sigh. I think I'm a bit addicted to Kijiji: presently shopping for a gently-used women's cruiser bicycle...

[Allison]

So, I guess if I'm an admitted addict of Kijiji, then there is something to be said of how good feelings can encourage and affect further said behaviour. In other words, if it makes us feel good then we will likely keep up with something.

[Rocio]

Agree with Tanya and Allisons' comments. There has to be conviction before changing our behaviour, otherwise it will be just a temporary change. I too had rules for toys for the kids: natural materials, which implies no sounds, no batteries and not made in China. Those were not always easy to keep with all the gifts from family and friends. I used a lot Craigslist during those years, I used cloth diapers for my second child and believe it or not I was able to sell them on Craigslist for over a $100! For the last several years I have tried to be environmental conscious, try to buy local and special attention to "reduce", but as Susan mentioned in some comment, it is difficult for me to stay away from a good bargain and I always found myself buying things for when the kids grew up just because they were on sale. I have improved this tendency a little.

[Allison]

Rocio wrote: "Agree with Tanya and Allisons' comments. There has to be conviction before changing our behaviour, otherwise it will be just a temporary change. I too had rules for toys for the kids: natural mater..."

Cloth diaper moms unite! :)

[Lena]

Oftentimes, there are many other factors that affect our habits beyond our way of thinking. While it is good to formulate a plan, or try to make changes, unfortunately many of those changes do end up as temporary. Very few of us can stick with a change of habit only by using a modification in our way of thinking.

It's a simple statement, for sure, but it puts an unbalanced onus on the individual to, say, exert willpower and all will be fine. Life is more complicated then that. Frequently, life itself hands us things to deal with and those changes themselves can change both our habits and the way we think. Change happens in a more fluid way and many times without our awareness.

However, using the Konmari approach as a tidying methodology is clearly a revamp of Marie's own thinking and something that I am still, slowly, using to affect changing habits around these parts. And I like it, I like thanking my things when I say goodbye as they exit the front door. I like keeping only those items that 'spark joy'; that is the best 'keep' criteria I have ever heard. Things like my huge yarn stash just makes me feel good, so it all stays. I'm glad I read this book. I hear Marie is coming out with a picture book next. I am looking forward to that.

[Lena]

Maureen wrote: "But I do talk to my stuff now which I'm not sure is a good thing. "

You are not alone. I never felt talking to myself or my things to be a problem, it often helps me work through puzzles, but sometimes the people around me give me strange looks. I am normal, really! :)

[Maureen]

Lena wrote: "Maureen wrote: "But I do talk to my stuff now which I'm not sure is a good thing. "

You are not alone. I never felt talking to myself or my things to be a problem, it often helps me work through p..."

lol Luckily, my dog is always close at hand so when I get strange looks, I can blame it on him.

Lena wrote: "Oftentimes, there are many other factors that affect our habits beyond our way of thinking. While it is good to formulate a plan, or try to make changes, unfortunately many of those changes do end ..."

I agree with this--life often waylays (?) the best intentions of even the most determined of us. That said, it is a wonderful little book, even for those of us who couldn't participate in the challenges this past month. What I enjoyed was her attitude--her enthusiasm, her humility, her gratitude. Every one of us could benefit from finding a spark of joy in each of our days. I'm really glad we read this one, not my usual fare.

[Lena]

Maureen wrote: "lol Luckily, my dog is always close at hand so when I get strange looks, I can blame it on him. "

Aren't dogs great? We can blame them for everything and still they love us unconditionally. On that note, time for the first of our two daily dog walks.

[Darrell]

I love this discussion. I am just catching up on some of these comments. I want to thank everyone for participating so much and so openly in this book's discussion. It's been lots of fun reading and sharing and getting a glimpse at everyone's personal lives as we work through the KonMari method together. It's quite neat how many people joined in on challenges or at least tried a new way of tidying and thinking together.

Thank you all for this lively discussion, and of course feel free to continue as we transition to the November book's title. This online book club is a really neat concept because we get to try books like Marie Kondo's, which we might not get to read and explore in a more 'traditional' book club. Plus we can admit our shopping addictions here without fear of embarrassment ;)

Thank you everyone for making this such a fun and fantastic month!

D-

[Tanya]

Apparently this book is set to become a tv show.

http://www.realsimple.com/home-organi...

[Allison]

Tanya wrote: "Apparently this book is set to become a tv show.

http://www.realsimple.com/home-organi..."

Hmmm...most interesting...

[Nelia]

Thank you Darrell! It has been a lot of fun participating in this discussion.

[Robert]

Very interesting discussion! As for a TV show. Stay tuned. If you know anyone at CBC or CTV...