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Anti Twilight Rants/Stuff
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Does it make sense to you?
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Monique
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Jul 16, 2009 02:25AM
If Edward is dead (Vampire = Undead) and has no heartbeat, how could he get an erection? Don't you need a heart that pumps blood to the organ for that? And if we can get past that little problem how could he impregnate Bella? How can his semen be alive when he is dead, never mind that, how the hell could he even produce semen is he's dead??
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This is my theory, from that topic :P Having said that, I'm going to try and play devil's advocate and attempt to explain how exactly Edward managed to knock Bella up.
Firstly- the way vampires are said to be "frozen" in the state that they died in is our first clue. They never get old, they never decay. Venom substitutes blood, perhaps. If I remember correctly, this is the explanation that SM gave in one of her books. Having said that, I also recall that vampire venom is extremely toxic to humans. Makes you wonder why Bella's uterus didn't burn out when he ejaculated in her.
The super strength can be partially explained this way: When they die, they sort of "harden" and their skin changes to something like marble. Cuticle deposits or something? Add that to dead pain receptors and you have walking dead people that can't feel pain and have tougher skin than normal people. Then again, this does not explain how they are capable of supermanish stunts. Bah.
Super strength, speed, etc I am willing to accept, since they go with the classic idea of what a vampire is supposed to be. But the whole biology aspect is downright retarded. Mayer tries to explain things like 23(?) chromosomes for werewolves and rubbish like that, but when someone points out her obvious fallouts she goes "But I'm not a Biology major!"
Make up your goddamn mind, then!
Edward possibly has super human semen, since he seems to have super human everything. If you follow the rules of the real world, then they'd probably die since he's so "ice cold" and semen require about 1-2 degrees cooler than the average body temperature (About 35-37 degrees). So, basically, his super semen survived just like every other bit of him survived. I guess its just something that vampires do (and this goes with the popular concept of vampires- eternal beauty, eternal youth in exchange for being kind of dead). The same goes for the superhuman stunts, I suppose.
And hey! I actually loved the "special abilities" thing. Again, another concept that has great potential but was ruined because of overuse and abuse. Personally, the concept of Jasper's and Alice's abilities were my favourite. While her explanation of Alice's precognitive abilities isn't infallible, its one of the neatest I've heard so far.
Edit: As an afterthought, if we follow the super semen theory, it would mean that his semen is frozen in time just like every other bit of him. Technically, this would mean that he can only ejaculate a limited number of times, since his testes aren't producing more semen. o_o'
http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/bd_faq....It's the "Vampires and pregnancy" topic. It's absolutely hilarious.
hilarious as in she manages to pull something out of her arse at the last second i suppose.
Sisi wrote: "hilarious as in she manages to pull something out of her arse at the last second i suppose."Yep she did.
The normal reactions of arousal are still present in vampires, made possible by venom-related fluids that cause tissues to react similarly as they do to an influx of blood. Like with vampire skin—which looks similar to human skin and has the same basic function—fluids closely related to seminal fluids still exist in male vampires, which carry genetic information and are capable of bonding with a human ovum.
Stefanie wrote: "http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/bd_faq....It's the "Vampires and pregnancy" topic. It's absolutely hilarious."
That was so funny I was literally rofling.
The exact same thing me and my friend were talking about yesterday...But if he's cold and...hard, doesn't that mean he has like a permanent boner ?
Or none-boner?
o..m..g..after reading the vampire/pregnancy thing...i was so...bewildered. I seriously still dont get her marble sparklepires! When they...er...harden..(that sounds so WRONG!) do their inside organs harden too? and wats up with the.......A fluid similar to the venom in their mouths works as a lubricant between the cells, which makes movement possible (note: this fluid is very flammable)...
I mean...wtf? well, Smeyer, that their skin cells are coated with venom? Brilliant. So when they touch us, why in the world does ous skin not sizzle like under acid? And their muscles?? How do they even FLEX?? You RETARD SMEYER, are they frozen too?? And have LUBRICANTS to move??
God, that is so stupid! And i am barely halfway into my teenager years and i know this: Where in the world do the sparklepires get their energy? Energy is produced via respiration which is:
Glucose+Oxygen=Carbon Dioxide+Water+Energy.
So how in the world are their cells (since she clearly states they still have cells) able to produce energy? and are their cells frozen too? *shakes and then slaps head*. And the semen? great. So its not venom after all! And the man parts? Aren't they FROZEN? And the bones?? Where's the bone marrow gonna be replaced if there are no red blood cells from blood?? And does that mean the cells don't die?? Great. Immortal cells. And However, the cells that make up their skin are not pliant like our cells, they are hard and reflective like crystal ...ohmygosh this was so stupid! If they are crystals, wouldn't there be more friction between the cells than normal human cells? so how can they move so fast? Their venom must be like OIL. And how can they even MOVE without ENERGY PRODUCTION?? And the cells are like crystals? great. So what happens to the cytoplasm in the cell? It freezes? So is it only the skin cells that reflects light? Or the cell membranes are supposed to shine? And their BRAINS?(hahaha. Their brains are frozen!) I mean, gosh, I'm more than 20yrs younger than her and I know the basics! What is wrong with her?? Its completely RUBBISH!
I like it. But yeah I agree with Ain020596.
Aaric wrote: "I like it. But yeah I agree with Ain020596."Yay! thanks:) (ps call me Ain)
Hey just now i realised something:
How does someone have 24/25pairs of chromosomes?? Since we're supposed to get our chromosomes from our parents, 12pairs of chromosomes from each parent?
I bet if we told this all to the twitards they'd be like, its creative! Its a fantasy book! Well, they oughta know that meyer should have drawn the line between fantasy and science before she started becoming all Smart-Alek to make sparklepires sound completely logical, thus the reason fangirls think vampires really do exist.
Heheheh! Go frozen brains!!
Ain020596 wrote: "Aaric wrote: "I like it. But yeah I agree with Ain020596."Yay! thanks:) (ps call me Ain)
Hey just now i realised something:
How does someone have 24/25pairs of chromosomes?? Since we're suppo..."
True, it is fantasy, but by trying to bring science into it she messed it up even more.
I agreeit was pointless for Edward to do it because he's more likely to kill her than Carlise and if he killed her he would have been all moopy and suicidal and crap...actually I'd rather he'd been killed her :) there would have been even less of a reason there is now for the other three books to be made lamoo XD
and I think breaking dawn is just complete and utter pointless stupidness thrown togther at the last second XD
My thing is that Bella NEVER described why she loved him. Or Edward in that matter too. I mean she always said how he was beautiful and that she was in love with him. I think it was all physical attraction.
It was physical attraction for Bella, and some kind of weird 'you smell delicious' thing for Eddy-boy
Ha. Yes that's what it was exactly. IF thats the case then Stephanie can't say they 'love' each other if they really don't
Stephanie wrote: "Jesse wrote: "My thing is that Bella NEVER described why she loved him. Or Edward in that matter too. I mean she always said how he was beautiful and that she was in love with him. I think it was a..."What do you mean by that?
Well, back to the topic...it makes no sense...
True...But i'd rather have that happen than have to see those graphic novels, or that horrid movie ever again...*shudders*
sMeyer tried. And she failed miserably. ((homer simpson quote: )) the lesson is never try!I think she should have said "Well, it's a fantasy book, so there really is no science, and I (here it comes) CAN'T EXPLAIN CRAP."
Mmmm frozen brains! Only I don't think I'll have it cos I'm a vegetarian and also I only eat organic, god, when I say that out loud I sound like a hippie.
IGNORE THAT!
Twilight spoiler:
Twilight: Bella falls for edward. edward is stalker.
New Moon: Edward leaves. I am happy. Bella is catatonic. I am happy, but also pitiful. Jacob comes in. I am happy. Bella is happy. I am sad. Jacob's character has a major downfall. Sad! edward returns. I am sad.
Eclipse: Bella tries to rape edward. WTF?
Breaking Dawn: Marriage morphs into mutant baby. Edward is inexplicably...ah.... "hard" Bella is sparklepire. The volturi doesn't kill them. Sad!
Sisi wrote: "sMeyer tried. And she failed miserably. ((homer simpson quote: )) the lesson is never try!I think she should have said "Well, it's a fantasy book, so there really is no science, and I (here it com..."
Sigh. That says it all.
And what edward and bella call love is complete ruuubbiiissshhh. Its all based on looks and whining and bloodlust. i cant believe people have started something like a religion because of this crap.
I agreeit's so much rubbish it makes me head hurt lmaooo
and how can Bella be around vampires while she's on her period they would all smell it (must be embrassing for her) lamoo xD
Yaa! Smeyer didnt even mention it! I bet she didnt want to repulse the male readers.
It's stupid, isn't it...I think everyone wonders...well, we just "wonder". Twilovers "wonder what it looks like". X-X
Geneva *ソウルイーター Soul Eater* wrote: "I agreeit's so much rubbish it makes me head hurt lmaooo
and how can Bella be around vampires while she's on her period they would all smell it (must be embrassing for her) lamoo xD
"
Yeah, this sounds weird but my mum used that in justification for her crazy obsession...she said, "he goes to school everyday and smells that...isn't that strength?!"
...>_> yeaaah but I think he secretly wants to follow them around like a dog, sniffing at their skirts.
TWILIGHT HATERS
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