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Four Days
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Trailer feedback please
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Jamie
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Oct 20, 2015 01:47AM
https://vimeo.com/142962840
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Is there a conflict in the story? A trailer needs to light a fuse. Also you may be missing an opportunity to convey the tone of the story with the audio. The sound is just ambient noise.
Thanks. It's a book where nothing happens. So no fuse, but it does have a tone. Your point is well made - I need to track down a voice actor.
'tis a gentle love story that unfolds during a road-trip (and ferry crossing). While there is internal conflict (1st person narrative) it's at heart a girl meets boy story.My plan is to make two other short trailers - one of which will be more conflicty. I, at the moment, had only the ferry crossing footage.
The wording of the 3rd set of words needs some work.
Well, when I hit that page, it tripped me up. I'm not sure why exactly. I think I don't care for short blurbs with two "ands" so close together. Perhaps you could split that into two brief sentences. Maybe a simple change like this:James pointed and described. He answered my questions as best he could.
OR
James pointed and described, answering my questions as best he could.
Cool. I understand. Thanks. It's verbatim lifted from the book. I do get what you mean, and what you've mentioned - the rhyme of it all - is the sort of thing that I do think about. I've read through in the text, and it might be the artificial cadence with the vid that makes it stick out more so than in the book.
