CLOG - Comedy Literature Only Group discussion
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Jemahl
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Nov 18, 2021 04:25AM
Ah cloggers, my latest historical comedy is out :) The Charioteer is set in 550 AD and features the first known flatearther as an antagonistic protagonist. Reviews are v welcome if you read it.
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Yeah, I was really pleased with it but it hasnt sold well thus far - reviews are v welcome. How are you doing?
Mod
Very busy, in truth. Beyond scribbling down the occasional rough idea, I haven't done any writing of my own for ages. But it's good to see you've been as active as ever. I look forward to reading it.
Cheers, Rob, in all honesty its been hell writing comedy with the pandemic. I actually had a black death idea that I quickly canned and the charioteer came out of lockdowns and dreaming of faraway places.
Mod
I have felt exactly the same. I haven't had any really 'workable' inspiration for ages now. I think the real world has been so unutterably stupid and grotesque since about 2016 that I'm struggling to find ways of making anything vaguely satirical work. The absurdity keeps racing on ahead of me...
That said, it doesn't feel like you struggled with Cal and friends. I'm very much enjoying it.
Hypothetically, if I had spotted a few typos and was making a note of them as I went through this, would you want me to let you know..?
Yeah do email me them if you get a chance, but don't stress over it if not. I was a bit worried it was undercooked but... Good you're enjoying it, new period + style was a real departure.
I hadn't heard about that slaughter in the hippodrome. Had to look it up. 30,000 people? Yow.
Yeah, probably the most brutal riot in history. Makes Tiannemen Square look like a kids party.
Mod
LOL, yeah, i hoped it was pretty clean when I delivered it, and it should have been proofed properly... Ah well.
Hi everyone,For those who know me, long time no messaging. For those who don't, hello.
I don't know if this place is still a going concern so I'll keep this short. I'm getting back in touch because I have, finally, completed and done a first edit of a new novel. Having got this far, I have given incredibly little thought as to what to do next!
And I thought I was good at forward planning...
Regards, Alastair
Forget the book for a few days. Then wake up in the morning and do a quick synopsis from what you remember. Then trim it to produce the summary. Then trim it to one or two sentences for the log line and then to 6 words or less for the tag line.https://screenwriting.io/what-is-the-...
There are a few rules for a logline. It should have:
The main character(s)
The world they live in
The inciting incident
The major conflict they must face
The stakes at hand.
https://screencraft.org/blog/the-simp...
Go for it!
Thanks for the advice Rob. Good to hear from you. Will do!
Alastair wrote: "Thanks for the advice Rob. Good to hear from you. Will do!"I gave it some more thought and added a page on writing the synopsis and associated summaries into the Inca Project. Let me know if you can think of anything that would be useful along these lines.
http://www.incaproject.co.uk/synopsis...
Whoohoo, Alastair! How's it going? Chapman and I were talking about you just the other day.I'd say step away from the book for a week or two completely before going back and looking at it. Is it comedy? More afterlife? Don't by coy spill the beans :)
Hi Jemahl, Good to hear from you and nice to know I'm being talked about in whatever fashion, even if it's just 'I wonder whatever happened to...?'Yes, the new book is humerous, with an SF bent this time. It's called 'Sub-Luminal' and the story goes something like this:
The Endeavour is the Earth's first starship. It has flown for a hundred years to the planet Arcadia where its daring crew awake to colonise a virgin world.
Except they've been beaten to it.
This is what happens when you fall asleep on the job - and someone invents a hyper-drive.
They find a society that is less than bright, governed by an Artificial Intelligence who wishes they hadn't come.
Captain Callum MacMahon leads his perplexed crew into a perplexing world. Do they suffer those slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or take arms against their sea of troubles?
Or do they just go and find the nearest bar?
So that's me. How about the rest of you? Any successes to share?
Raymond, thank you so much for your generous and glowing review of Flatpack on Amazon. Amazed you remember it from the Authonomy days. Really appreciate it.
Mr Savage Cushions wrote: "Raymond, thank you so much for your generous and glowing review of Flatpack on Amazon. Amazed you remember it from the Authonomy days. Really appreciate it."As we erudites say in Texas: Nuh, uh.
I DO remember the book, as it was in the days of Authonomy. I reviewed it, quite honestly saying it was original, clever, and emotionally touching with its direction of a redemption-arc (it wasn't finished then).
As I've been writing about weird little Texas towns, I've tried to catch that proper Flatpack. mix of humdrum and supernatural.
But: I haven't reviewed anybody in more than a year. I owe reviews solemnly promised five years back, much less the current 2022 crop.
I'm told I will burn in hell for this betrayal, but I don't sweat it. The gates of hell are months and months away.
Give me a bit of time, and I will do it right.
Mod
How close are you to finishing it? You know I'm always up for a beta read if you want one, or an early purchase if you don't.
Mod
Thanks a lot guys. Yes, while I never 'stopped' writing, I was going at it 'imperceptibly slowly' - which is almost the same thing. :)
Rob wrote: "Hi Alastair. Good to hear from you. Welcome back. How close are you to finishing it? You know I'm always up for a beta read if you want one, or an early purchase if you don't."
Hi Rob, Yes please. It would be brilliant if you're up for reading it. It's complete and I've done a first edit already. I'm sure it needs polishing and I know you'll pick out a load of things I'll never see. Are you still at the same email address?
Incidentally, I see that Mirror World publishing have a submission window opening in October so I was going to aim for that. I hope you regard imitation as the sincerest form of flattery(!) - not that I have high hopes of getting anywhere with them but you have to try. I've identified a number of other places to try too, but most of them are a bit more open to submissions at any time.
I trust Shelf Life is doing well? It deserves to. It was an absolute pleasure to read the pre-publication copy.
Regards, Alastair
Hi Raymond,Sadly I must withdraw my gushing appreciation for your review of Flatpack as Mr Gregson has pointed out that it was in fact he who posted the glowing critique. The confusion was caused by a picture of yourself adjacent to Mr G's scribbling.
Please accept my sincere apologies for my inappropriate gratitude, but it does beg the question - where is your actual rapturous appreciation? Please check down the back of your chaise longue - that's where mine usually turn up.
I hope you haven't suffered too many sleepless nights as a consequence of Mr Gregson's error, what a bastard eh?
Cushions
Mr Savage Cushions wrote: "The confusion was caused by a picture of yourself adjacent to Mr G's scribbling. ..."Dammit, I WARNED that man to stop impersonating me.
I don't care HOW desperate he is to get into the VIP lounge of the Writer's Union, or pick up starry-eyed fangirls or sip fine wines with the glitterati literati.
Gregson CANNOT be borrowing my id or car or name or favorite facial expressions. This MUST stop!
Remember, shoppers; purchase only the genuine product. Accept no substitutes. One per customer.
_______________
Note: I posted my notes on this very same CLOG upon which we stand.
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
Mod
Good luck with MW. Always worth approaching them.
Mod
To be fair, I just copied Ray's original review and re-posted it on Amazon.
That sounds interesting Al, it is nice to see people back in the ol' clog group. I wouldn't have got anywhere without it and authonomy back in the day.
Jemahl wrote: "That sounds interesting Al, it is nice to see people back in the ol' clog group. I wouldn't have got anywhere without it and authonomy back in the day."That's nice to here. It's good for me too. I need to become a bit more regular on Goodreads. I never really got to grips with it the first time. Any tips any one?
Mod
I'm not sure that I ever got to grips with it in any useful, productive sense, other than using it to stay in touch with you good people and hearing what everyone's been up to. Since I haven't been writing lately, I've tended to be here volunteering to beta-read more than asking for feedback on anything that I've been producing. But hey, when that time comes...
Rob wrote: "But hey, when that time comes...."..."then", said the Prophet, "shall be great travail through the entrails of the clouds, and they shall darken and the earth shall tremble and the folk of the land look up in fear and awe, For lo! seven angels shall raise high their kindles and song shall pour up from the literarily barren ground and a new day will dawn and Pepperland be free and the chariot of Thoth himself will bear The Rob unto the temple where the new Opus shall be revealed."
There was a question/answer session afterwards where the Prophet and the seven angels argued the story arc but I woke up then and knew no more.
Mod
Rob wrote: " Does it lead to better writing..."John Barth wrote a story where the narrator is Homer himself. He's been castaway on an island, writing on goat skin about the war he left behind. How did it end? He comes up with different versions. The Greeks win, the Trojans win, Helen kills Menelaus, the Gods destroy Troy, or the Trojans and Greeks unite under Ajax... whenever Homer finishes one he puts it into an amphora and throws it into the sea.
Barth's story was funny; but its sad vision cured me of wanting to write by myself in a cabin. We need to talk to others in order to tell stories. The 'Muse' is just whoever will listen to us babble our tale.
You're a muse, Rob. Granted, I'm amusing.
Mod
On the subject of listening and talking to people, I should mention this: I've now read Alastair's "Sub-Luminal" and found it genuinely 'laugh-out-loud' funny* in all sort of places. We may disagree on the proper use of full stops and commas but he's produced another good 'un. Tell others.
* (I refuse to use tired, everyday acronyms but I'm sure that everyone will get the point.)
I don't think I disagree with you Rob. I'm just not very good with this whole punctuation malarkey. I'm currently on holiday but I've been working through your comments. As always, much appreciated and ranging from the 'How could I missed that?' through 'That's embarrassing.' to 'I never even knew that was an issue'. And this is my first language for God's sake!
Mod
What matters is that the book's good. And good it certainly is.
Greetings all,I was invited by a Mr. Robert Wingate to join your group, which likely makes me immediately suspect.
So now what happens?
Rob wrote: "Greetings all,I was invited by a Mr. Robert Wingate to join your group, which likely makes me immediately suspect.
So now what happens?"
You IMMEDIATELY enter the arena with the other robs. There are too many of the creatures extant. You get a knife and your own sharp wit. Good luck.
Mod
I was invited by a Mr. Robert Wingate to join your group, which likely makes me immediately suspect. So now what happens?"
Hi Rob,
Welcome. Don't tell Ray, but Rob W and I have been hatching a plan to forge a new literary army of Robs - our aim: to take Goodreads by storm and to force all new Goodreaders to buy our works by the van-load.
It got off to a slow start, admittedly...
But anyway, on the subject of buying books, I've just downloaded a copy of "Small Stories: A Perfectly Absurd Novel". I know you had a free promotion on, but giveaways be damned; we CLOGgers like to be supportive.
Nice to have you here. I suspect you'll get on very well - particularly with Savage Cushions (aka Roger), who shares your interest in quirky communities and bake sales.
Mod
Knife..? No one mentioned that. In that case, I'll take "the Utilitarian Knife V.1 for practical use only." It sounds useful.
Rob wrote: "I'll take "the Utilitarian Knife V.1 for practical use only." It sounds useful."You're a long way from Theory, Texas, Bobs.*
____________
*I have this urge to insert a clog-level joke about being a long way from Tipperary. But I don't know where that is or what it is or why it is. I'm okay with that ignorance.
Rob wrote: "Rob wrote: "Greetings all,I was invited by a Mr. Robert Wingate to join your group, which likely makes me immediately suspect. So now what happens?"
Hi Rob,
Welcome. Don't tell Ray, but Rob W an..."
Hmm, I don't own a knife. But I do have a spork. The energy generated by the unholy fusion of two different utensils should enable me to prevail.
Rob wrote: "Rob wrote: "Greetings all,I was invited by a Mr. Robert Wingate to join your group, which likely makes me immediately suspect. So now what happens?"
Hi Rob,
Welcome. Don't tell Ray, but Rob W an..."
Thank you for downloading a copy, but it really wasn't necessary to purchase one. In fact, my well-thought out marketing strategy centers on giving away the first million copies for free and then doubling the price on the second million. As of today, I only have 999,993 copies to go before I'm raking in more cash than I know what to do with.
Okay, this is already more posting than I've done in a few years, so I'm going to go take a nap and check in again in December. Thanks, everyone.
Mod
I never liked Bambi, there, I said it, and Thumper is just a smug twat too.Send us a copy of your new opus, Alastair.
Mod
Bambi? The film or the eponymous fawn? Or both?
I disliked the former and, with the benefit of hindsight (if you'll pardon the pun), I've become ambivalent about the character. As for Thumper, I'm undecided, but don't get me started on Watership Down...
Why are we discussing this, incidentally?
Why can't I figure out how to reply on the app? Anyway, Hi Jemahl, will do. As for the present topic, the main problem with these animated wildlife films is that they don't have enough spaceships in them. It's a major oversight...
Alastair wrote: "As for the present topic, the main problem with these animated wildlife films is that they don't have enough spaceships "Commander Bambi sits easy in the Captain's chair, fawn face stern, the buds of fresh antlers giving his head a martial look.
"Status, Lieutenant Thumper?"
"Approaching target, sir," says the Weapons Bunny from his control board.
Commander Bambi leans forwards, peering into the starship viewport. Where appears... first a green woods, then closer, a human in hunter's garb, aiming a shotgun at Bambi's second cousin Floyd.
"Target acquired, sir," says Thumper.
The starship bridge goes silent, waiting, waiting...
"Now," says Commander Bambi. "Photon torpedo, Mr. Thumper. Make sure it's the one that says 'For Mom'."
CLOG - Comedy Literature Only Group
Books mentioned in this topic
Small Stories: A Perfectly Absurd Novel (other topics)The Sprouts of Wrath (other topics)
Pussy Planet and Other Endearing Tales (other topics)
Unreliable Histories (other topics)
The Endless Land (other topics)
