(revamp!) FFVII Roleplay discussion
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message 1:
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Roxanne, 母
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Oct 01, 2015 05:06PM
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Hey guys. I’m sorry to say it, but I’ll be going on hiatus again for the summer. Since this is the second time this has happened, I feel as though I probably owe you guys an actual explanation this time… So here’s what’s up.
There’s been a lot of sudden changes in my life. I’ve just recently started college, and I’m living in a completely different state from all of my friends and family. My parents have also just gotten a divorce, and my mom has already started dating someone new. This has caused my depression to skyrocket, leaving me with very little motivation for running any roleplay groups. This is not the only account of mine to suffer either – my DeviantArt used to be very active with fanfictions, and now I only seek out people doing art requests, since I have no energy for writing. My Tumblr roleplay blogs are also basically dead, and have been for ages now. The pressure of keeping all these things up and running is just too much, and I desperately need a break before I crash completely.
There are a few things that could help with this, to prevent future incidents like this. One of the major reasons why I feel a lot of pressure while running these groups is because of the lack of support. My sister and I originally founded these groups together, and so we initially shared half the burden when it came to keeping things up and running. However, for the past two years or so she has been unable to keep up with Goodreads nearly as often. Many of you have probably noticed by now that the majority of her threads are very inactive. This is because she has a generalized anxiety disorder that has been getting increasingly worse lately. We have had a very long discussion about her involvement with the groups, but in the end decided that she wouldn’t be able to run things without causing her anxiety to skyrocket even more. I don’t want to put her through that, when she’s already been through so much already.
Because of this, I only have volunteers to count on. Some of these newer moderators are very active, and have done a remarkable job of keeping things running whenever I’m not around. I can’t describe how unbelievably grateful I am to these people – you guys are the ones that remind me over and over why I loved this website in the first place! However, this is a very small minority of group moderators. Most of the time, people seem to ask to be moderators for the title alone. Many of my groups include moderators who do not help to answer questions, or take an active role in the plot. It’s crucial for me to be able to depend on these moderators to run things while I’m gone, but instead I often come back to a bombardment of posts asking about things that any of the moderators should be able to answer! I cannot stress enough that if a moderator isn’t sure how to answer specific questions, they are ALWAYS welcome to email me about it! Instead, many of them fail to respond at all. There is always a chance that by giving other moderators power over the entire group, there might be some misunderstandings. It’s happened before. However, I view this as being worth it in the long run, if it takes more weight off of my shoulders. Please do your jobs, guys! And if you already are – keep up the good work!
One of the other problems I’ve had with running these groups, is specific incidents that causes my depression to worsen and my energy level to drop. I don’t think I need to call anybody out for this specifically, because I’ve had this problem multiple times in every single one of my roleplay groups. Sometimes in posts, sometimes in emails, and sometimes in private messages. Anything along the lines of “Why isn’t this group active anymore?” “Nobody posts!” or “When are you going to add on to the roleplay?” will basically set me back a full week. How many people can honestly say that constant bombardments of reminders you already know about have actually helped them to stay active in a group? The majority of time that people complain about a group of mine being “inactive” or “dead”, it’s not because of anything I could be doing better. Do you guys know how hard it is for one or two people to keep a whole roleplay group running on their own? It’s way too much for someone like me to keep running! And yet whenever people ask me these questions, I turn it internally and berate myself for the groups’ inactivity. ‘Is it something I’m doing wrong? It must be, because people used to be way more active! Maybe if I post more frequently…’
And so I take time out of my insanely busy schedule to try and post once or twice a day, sometimes even more. I feel so guilty about the lack of activity that I set up more and more 1x1 roleplays, in the hopes that the pressure will keep me motivated to work on the rest of the roleplay groups as well. But you know what? It just doesn’t work! The more I pile up the pressure, the worse I feel. And the worse I feel, the harder it is for me to actually stay active in the groups. It’s an eternal cycle and I’m unbelievably sick of it. I’ve gotten to the point where if I see one more complaint like this, I might just quit the website entirely! But that’s exactly why this hiatus of mine is so important – it gives me time to cool my head, so that I can try being active again further down the road.
In conclusion, I’m very sorry for leaving for another four months. My email is always open for anybody who has questions, and for the next three weeks I’ll be hanging around the website to make sure there aren’t any last minute emergencies. After that, however, I’ll be completely off of the website until September. Best of luck everyone!
Mod
I, too, have gone through some radical changes. (Not radical, per se, but I think we both get what I mean. Especially me.)
Although I'm not so comfortable sharing much here, I can say that I empathize with your situation, and I really hope you can get back onto your feet. Depression is a donkey dangling above an open cavern (please, someone get this) and I've struggled to the point where I'm really bipolar.
One moment I can type pages among pages, the next moment I can barely type a sentence. I won't elaborate too much into myself; as this is your update and intruding too much would be rude.
I must apologize for not being a very good moderator. Admittedly, I underestimated this group and put little effort into actually making this group better. Blame part of it on my lifestyle, blame part of it on me, blame it all on life not wanting me to relive the glory days of RP on Goodreads. Man, I used to be a darn good RP-er (actually just mediocre).
I hope you get over your hurdle.
No, that's an understatement.
I hope that you will find strength to pull yourself-- with help-- from the deep gulch you have fallen into and rise to the top of the canyon with a story of grandiose proportion to share.
I hope that you can maintain a healthy lifestyle, balancing your pie graph that is your life in a fashion that will be the most efficient and the least harmful to you.
I also hope that Moriko can hang in there, despite her anxiety issues. Hopefully she can slowly overcome her disorder, and become stronger from it.
Life is very harsh, and I'm sorry to not have noticed anything, or even asked. Best wishes from me, and I hope for a successful (rehabilitation? recuperation? CURAGA?) for the both of you.
...Also, I hope to be a better moderator out of myself.
~Shattered/Cloudy Storms
Roxanne I'm sorry to hear that you are having issues. I completely understand. I want you to know it does get better. I'm sorry that I'm not here as often as I should be or that I've not gotten to make my character. I will do it at some point but I to have been having issue, some which I can't talk about on here. Sometimes the chaos overwhelms me and I shut down, which I'm trying to not get to that point now because of college and other family things. So take your time off because I will still be here when you get back. Good luck. Shade and Sweet Water.
Mod
It really means a lot to me that you typed all that up, just for me. It makes me really happy to get support from my friends, and I feel like it does make things a lot easier. Thank you so much.
Mod
Thank you very much for your support, Priscilla. It really means a lot to me. ^_^
Mod
It really means a lot to me that you typed all that u..."
Well, it really means a lot to me that you went all the way to explain and give us your life happenings and troubles. Think of it as a fair trade. :3 (Whoa, that line sounded cocky. XD)
Roxanne wrote: "Priscilla wrote: "Roxanne I'm sorry to hear that you are having issues. I completely understand. I want you to know it does get better. I'm sorry that I'm not here as often as I should be or that I..."I'm here if you need me. I am grateful for your honesty and that's something that's important to me.
