Question #1: Spiritual approach and first impressions

[[deleted user]]

We’re very excited to be discussing this magical little book by Marie Kondo! Throughout this month, we’ll be posting a number of questions, plus a couple of personal challenges as well.

In discussing this book with colleagues, we’ve noted that some people are a little uncomfortable with, or perplexed by, what has been referred to in reviews of the book as the “woo” factor as it relates to Kondo’s personification of inanimate objects. It’s important to recognize Kondo’s background and Japanese culture. As a teenager, Marie Kondo was a Shinto temple attendant; Shintoism is a native belief system in Japan that involves the belief that all objects have an essential ‘spirit’. This may seem a bit odd to some when Kondo writes about thanking an object for serving its purpose and letting it go.

Did you appreciate this spiritual approach to tidying or did you find that it was a distraction from her message? Please feel free to share your general impressions of the book and of the KonMari method of tidying.

[Susan]

I did find the spiritual approach to tidying to be distracting at times - for example, I don't need to thank objects for their service to me, or to say goodbye to the books that I discard. I'm more likely to tell myself that I will never have time to re-read them again! I also don't think my purse needs a rest every evening by emptying it out. The one lasting message for me is to ask myself whether something brings me joy when I'm deciding whether to keep it. I think this is key to making easier decisions to let things go. I have a whole closet full of clothes that don't bring me joy - so when I do go through them, this joy factor is going to help immensely.

[Darrell]

I agree that some of it is a bit...out there. Though I also do enjoy asking myself if something 'sparks joy' or is necessary. I'm not too turned off of the spiritual or 'woo' stuff (but I'm into that stuff, being a Reiki master/teacher, etc.). However, I can definitely see (and have heard first person) how that can scare off potential readers. My advice to those bothered by it is to just skip over those parts as they're not really necessary to the KonMari method. They could, however, be helpful for people who tend more towards the emotional attachment aspects of holding on to things or even hoarding.

Here's a great Google talk by Kondo herself (with help from a translator at some parts): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1-HM...

I found it very interesting/helpful. She's a very endearing character, too.

[Sylvia]

For me, it was all about that 'spark of joy' too. That was extremely helpful to ask myself before discarding anything. As for thanking the objects, I thought that showing respect for something that once had special meaning helped me to get rid of it.

I tried stuffing empty purses so they stand up nicely. I like that. But I don't have the time or inclination to empty the main purse every night, either, Susan.

Thanks for the YouTube link, Darrell. It was nice to see her. The audio person I listened to when 'reading' the book, took some getting used to, even with a North American accent.

[Darrell]

I agree, Sylvia. My family listened to it together and we all started tidying while listening, but I admit we were giggling now and then at the robotic voice of the narrator, especially when she would then do another voice with some more character in it.

[Sylvia]

Haha-I agree with her voice changes. Nevertheless, in spite of myself, I was quite inspired, and really went to it -Drop off trips to goodwill daily!

[Darrell]

Sylvia wrote: "Haha-I agree with her voice changes. Nevertheless, in spite of myself, I was quite inspired, and really went to it -Drop off trips to goodwill daily!"

That's fantastic, Sylvia! You should join our first challenge in the next thread--we're starting with clothing, since it tends to be a little easier to declutter (less emotional attachment, perhaps?). Though some may disagree :)

[Maureen]

I think it's wonderful that people are so inspired by her book. She's certainly a very astute business woman but I did wonder about her translator. Lines like (paraphrasing here) "Tidying is a tool, not a destination' were both funny and confounding.

[Darrell]

Maureen wrote: "I think it's wonderful that people are so inspired by her book. She's certainly a very astute business woman but I did wonder about her translator. Lines like (paraphrasing here) "Tidying is a to..."

Yes, I found it quite charming and amusing :) Glad you enjoyed it, Maureen! You make a good point about her business sense--this woman has created a huge empire in Japan (and now worldwide) with her tidying books and talks. That's something that doesn't happen over night, she must have put a lot of work into her business to become this successful.

[Susan]

I agree with Darrell about the amount of work Marie Kondo has done to establish herself. I found it most interesting that she loved to tidy as a child and would rush home from school so she could organize things around her house. She certainly has an admirable life-long passion and obsession. She is fortunate to have been able to turn those into a business.

[Kim]

When I first glanced at this book in the store I was intrigued but thought “I don’t need help tidying up!” and I put it back on the shelf. Then when it came up as the October read I found that I was still curious about it so I picked it up.
When I began to read it I thought that the concept of taking each item in your hand and seeing if it sparked joy would be tedious, resulting in not much being accomplished. I also thought the idea of thanking each item to be a little ridiculous. Now that I have concluded the book I can better grasp the concept of items sparking joy but I am still apprehensive about thanking each item before discarding it and every day after you use it. Marie Kondo’s notion of not having a large number of books in the “to read” pile is also one that I disagree with. I have over the years collected books by my favourite authors and have yet to make it through all of them but that is not to say that I do not read them even after they have been on my shelf for years unread.
Now that I have completed the book I can honestly say that I am glad to have read it. It sparked inspiration in me to declutter my own life. I think Marie Kondo has some great ideas about minimizing the amount of stuff we have and storing it in a manner that we are more likely to enjoy the possessions we keep.

[Darrell]

Kim wrote: "When I first glanced at this book in the store I was intrigued but thought “I don’t need help tidying up!” and I put it back on the shelf. Then when it came up as the October read I found that I wa..."

Hi Kim, thanks for sharing your impressions! Books are probably the hardest part for me. I always seem to collect books no matter how hard I try not to :) I have been trying to limit the number of books I buy or collect but I still have a big stack at the foot of my bed to go through. I do find it overwhelming to have a big pile of books to be read--I know I'll never get to all of them, especially as I continue to add to the pile. I've been trying to focus on just borrowing library books so if I return them without getting to reading them, at least I don't have the guilt of wasted money, etc. I also like eBooks for that reason--no clutter, though I still get overwhelmed with the number of unread but purchased Kindle books I've bought (shameless plug here for our library's OverDrive/Libraries on the Go app. for free eBook and audiobook downloads LOL).

I think it's okay to take what works for you and discard the bits that don't, as long as you at least try them. I do like that her system doesn't focus on storage solutions; so many decluttering 'experts' just focus on ways to hide and store junk rather than to help eliminate and let go of stuff.

[Sylvia]

I liked Kondo's point about not leaving bottles around the edges of the bathtub. That feels so much neater & cleaner. Although I'm not storing them in the cupboard-too much trouble for quick access. Instead, I chose to compromise & hang them from the shower rack (which she poo-poos). So far, works for me-just one person.

My big problem is sorting through PAPERS-since I was listening to audio, I think I missed some of her instructions -although I remember her saying to toss a lot -now I wish I had the physical book to get some more ideas.

[Darrell]

One thing that I found freeing--not sure if it was Kondo or somewhere else I heard of it--was to get rid of all those little manuals I've been keeping in a box for everything I own. You can easily download them online if needed. That really cleared out my overpacked filing box.

[Susan]

The title attracted me to the book - and I loved the idea that even bad purchases (and I have made a few of those) teach you something. I did find myself thinking that way which helped me part with clothes I held on to for guilt rather than joy. I have often tidied when my life / work was stressful and gained satisfaction of having control over something, at least.

I only hope that my husband is inspired by my actions with my stuff .... we share cupboards!!

[Sylvia]

Good reminder Darrell that manuals can now be accessed on-line -will have to be brave now to get rid of them:))

[Tanya]

I listened to the audio version of the book and had two first impressions: Kondo suffers from OCD and the narrator was annoying. Once I got over that, I realized that Kondo has many valuable points - some of which I've started to apply.

As for her spiritual approach, I thought it was a bit much to greet my home and thank my items daily. I have however started to thank items for their service once I release them; it has made letting go of my more sentimental items easier.

[Allison]

Tanya wrote: "I listened to the audio version of the book and had two first impressions: Kondo suffers from OCD and the narrator was annoying. Once I got over that, I realized that Kondo has many valuable points..."

Haha, Tanya! You are not alone in thinking that perhaps Kondo has OCD ... I've heard someone else say that very comment. I, too, love the idea of thanking items for service and letting them go. I do confess to greeting my home from time to time (usually after a lengthy absence), or saying goodbye to a home when I move (which just happened, actually). It seems the right thing to do, to acknowledge it in some way ... if not for the fond memories had there, then for the sake of my moving on (figuratively speaking, more than literally). :)