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Diaries & Journals > Shadow~Watcher of animoo, eater of chips, and takers of naps! Fear me!~

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message 1: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Hi this is Shadow. I started this because I have a lot to say and a lot to tell you so you can understand me better. Warning this may get sad. Feel free to ask questions. I'll answer the best I can.


message 2: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Hi okay I'm going to tell you about the first depressing thing in my mind. This happened in fifth grade. I was sitting in the back of the bus with my GTF (go to friend) with two boys sitting next to us. One day they asked me "Do you want to see the ugliest person in the world?" They had a Guinness World Record book so I assumed it was in there. Boy was I wrong. One looked at me and said "Then look in the mirror." Now I must admit I'm not pretty. Then the insults continued until my GTF stood up for me. At this point I wasn't eating very much because I was stressed. After that they kept going so he reported them and they got moved to the front of the bus. Keep in mind that I was 9 or 10 at the time. It's been three years I'm turning 13 next month. I eventually forgave one of them we're friends now.


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Omg. Twin. Im so sorry.


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Can i share something?


message 5: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne It's fine really this is like my confession book it feels good to say something. Each story I post here is true and has a message. This one is if your being bullied or see bullying speak up don't wait who knows what could happen if you do.


message 6: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Sure feel free to


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Okay.

So when i was in sixth grade, (3 years ago) i was kinda a little bit more annoying than i am these days, and i was sitting next to an eighth grader, and he told me to shut it. I did. His friend told him not to go easy on me, and to teach me not to annoy eighth graders, so the dude next to me slams my head into the glass window. I had the worst nose bleed ever. He didnt apologize.


message 8: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Jeez holy crap that's so bad. I'm so sorry. I know for a fact I'm super annoying, weird, and loud when I told that to my GTF he laughed and said "So am I." Sorry I'm keep use GTF instead of his name but I'm don't think he would like his name plastered in this thread.


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Same here. Im over it. Its just...people...ugh....they dont know what it feels like until it happens to them.

Oh. Hes on gr? I didnt know dat. :p


message 10: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Yeah but he's never on.


message 12: by ⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (last edited Aug 16, 2015 07:21PM) (new)

⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Im gonna find out who it is!!


message 13: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Yeah he's isn't really my friend on GR because he hasn't expected it cuz he's never on.


message 14: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne *Excepted


message 16: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Yeah he's my bro


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Ohhhhh.... Wow. Im one of three? I have two twins?


message 18: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne XD well almost I think of him as one he's my annoying older bro :)


message 20: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Yeah but he's a twin


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments So he is my triplet. Kewl. :p


message 22: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne And I'm da quadruplet


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Wow. Thats a lot. :p


message 24: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Yep


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments I made myself a journal. Going there.


message 26: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Kzie


message 27: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Okay another story. Let me think okay this takes place during the same year and time as the last story. My dad(biological) and nana had been fighting. And he stopped letting me see her. The a**. I grew sad and such because I had just met her a couple of years ago and I couldn't see her. I grew depressed. I became blank as a friend described it. A year later my nana shows up as I'm getting in our van to go shopping. She had come to deliver my birthday presents a Taylor Swift tee and her latest CD. When she left I cried in the back of the car so my mom called my dad(biological) and they fought then she said "Tell that to the crying ten year old that misses her nana." After that we grew apart this year I was able to see my nana and said no because it had been three years (and I was scared) my dad begged me to and I said no again and hung up.

This didn't have a lesson only a conflict. Me and my father haven't spoken in a year and a half now and he blocked me on FB. I'm fine with it. He's such a *uses every curse word I know* and who would want a father like that?


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments I wouldnt. And im sorry for you. My father is a really important person in my life.


message 29: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne My step dad is he's da best


message 30: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Hi okay so this is an entry.

Entry one: Is it only me?

Hi okay so I hit that age where puberty starts and I'm getting moody. I feel mostly gloomy or angry half the time. But mostly alone. I read somewhere that when a girl reaches my age we lose confidence. So far that's true. But we all go through it differently. When I look in the mirror I tell myself "Your not pretty." Because I'm not on the outside only the inside. So I guess my main question is am I alone? Hell no. Because I got all of you here to feel it with me.


message 31: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Entry two: Boy trouble

Hi it's Shadow again. And I have a problem. I have a boy problem. There is this friend of mine and he's a guy we're like this *crosses fingers* the best friend a girl could ask for. But I'm starting to get mixed signals. One time we were talking and before he left he said "Bye Shadow love you." I started to freak out in my thoughts. I'm so confused. Then he did it again. And I have this I don't know what it is because I've never had a guy say that to me. I have mixed
about it I'm scared, surprised, and nervous. I don't know if he meant it to be a hint or brotherly. Ugh I'm so confused.

That's all,
Shadow(~ Join The Dark Side we have waffles.)


message 32: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne It's scary I'm confused I've never ever had this happen


message 33: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Maybe but it wasn't auto correct but he did send me a text kinda like what he said, but it wasn't auto correct.


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Shadow~ Join The Dark Side we have waffles. wrote: "Hi okay so this is an entry.

Entry one: Is it only me?

Hi okay so I hit that age where puberty starts and I'm getting moody. I feel mostly gloomy or angry half the time. But mostly alone. I read..."


Yup. You got me twin. :p


message 35: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Yeah *sigh* I think Hanna's right ugh this is going to be a long year...


message 36: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Well he's like my brother, but there was a time where we did have something... like I said I'm super confused


message 37: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne :) thanks dude


message 38: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Entry three: omg just play Jackpot with my bros and my girls. I'm covered in sweat, but who cares. I had a great time even John played and he's like 18 it was awesome. Played a short round of man hunt and my team won. I can't believe they didn't catch me I was going to climb a tree, but during the last storm it was struck by lightning and fell down. So I stupidly yelled "Where the hell did the tree go?!" which should have lead them to me so I ran for it and made it to base. Ha! The only girl on a all boy team got there first. VICTORY!!!!


message 39: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Yeah it is. :D


message 40: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Entry four: Writing Contest

Hi so I'm going to write about the time I won the writing contest at my middle school. So I entered a poem. And I had submitted it wrong so I thought oh well there's next year. About three weeks later I get a letter say that I am one of the contest winners. I was so happy, but also confused then I realized my ELA teacher entered it for me. And he knew when I walked into class that day that I knew. I thanked him and he said it was nothing. So another week later I went to the contest tea where the gave us a book of all the winners and a ribbon.

This is the poem I entered

The Shadows


The darkness is falling all around but you will be safe and sound,
Now follow me into the light where the shadows can not bite.
Night starts as the day ends, The world above is at midnight and far below out of sight there are demons are working up a fright into our dreams turning them as dark as the night.
And all we need is a little spark to spark the fire of hope again burning till the nights long end, Now it is day and the demons flee to the shadows and the angles awaken from deep slumber but You and I were safe from the nights harm for we burned with hope.
Now away away the angels chase the demons out of sight, but they will be back soon again when the clock strikes midnight.


message 41: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Entry five: You can learn a lot from this girl.

I just watched a video on YouTube and I'm in tears. This woman is my new hero. I'm at a point in my life when I start to doubt myself subconsciously. I was scrolling through my YouTube recommendations when a video popped up I clicked on it. Watched it and immediately subscribed. he was called the worlds ugliest women, but she's so beautiful inside and out. She is so inspirational. Lizzie Velasquez's story is so moving. I feel like I want to spread a message like she does. I want to become a motivational speaker. Lizzie Velasquez is my idol. I hope girls that read this will start seeing themselves differently. I know I do. I used to think when I looked in the mirror I'm not pretty or cute, but now all I see is that I love to help others. I see that I am beautiful on the inside. I see the kind, loving, big hearted girl that others see in me Please check out the video. I'll leave a link.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c62Aqdlzvqk

I hope you learned something,

Shadow( ~Join The Dark Side we have waffles.)


message 42: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Hello guess what story time.

Ending

This is the story of my last day of seventh grade.

I had been playing it cool, but I was sad. I didn't know if they could tell so I pretended to be my bright, happy, awkward self. But on the inside I was crying. I was being put in in alternative educational clan because my grades where so bad. I hadn't told my friends because I was scared that they wouldn't be my friend anymore. I know it's stupid but after all I had been through... I couldn't do it. When we got our yearbooks I almost told them but I didn't. I went to see my friend Nat and she was in tears. Let me tell how close I was to tears. On the brink of them spilling out but I stayed strong and played tuff. I so sensitive you don't even know... Then on the bus I shed a tear but no one saw. I said goodbye to my friends and I'd see them next year but I wouldn't until high school. I screwed up. I screwed up so bad. Now I have to tell them and boy am I terrified.

Shadow


message 43: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Entry six

I'm so happy a new cousin has been brought into this world. His big sister will thank mum and dad one day. I know I have. And so yesterday my baby cousin was born in so proud of my aunt and uncle. Can't wait to see him on Monday!

Goodnight,

Shadow


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Shadow~ Join The Dark Side we have waffles. wrote: "Hello guess what story time.

Ending

This is the story of my last day of seventh grade.

I had been playing it cool, but I was sad. I didn't know if they could tell so I pretended to be my brigh..."


Aww... Dont be sad..... I threw sissors at my fifth grade teacher. If it makes you happier...


message 45: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Omg omg lol. I'm feeling better and I finally fessed up and they took it ok.


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Shadow~ Join The Dark Side we have waffles. wrote: "Omg omg lol. I'm feeling better and I finally fessed up and they took it ok."

And i got iss for the last week for it.


message 48: by ѕolanιne (new)

 ѕolanιne Btw you have no idea how many times I wanted to do that in third grade. She was a witch.


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments My third grade teacher?

I stole from her prize box when went to lunch. xD


⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄ (shadowscar_revived) | 126 comments Still have the guitar bubbles.


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