Wellness and Self-Improvement Books discussion
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Achieve Your Own Emotional Branding
Favorite Self-Improvement Books
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Is “The Impossible” really impossible?
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So very true...So very difficult.
Hello Colin. Thank you for writing. I certainly agree that its a very difficult mindset to achieve. To be able to tackle this, one point in my life I started to set realistic and specific goals. Goals that don't focus on making Money but goals to make me feel like having a more meaningful and passionate life. Only this way I could find the motivation and energy to continue with my endeavours.
Thank you for the advice. It is definitely food for thought.
Hi, no problem. Its a pleasure :) Best wishes.
Let me add my take on this, guys. First off, I completely agree with you, Burc, and I found it refreshing (and inspiring) to read your take on positive thinking. Interestingly, my personal "flavour" on this appears to differ from yours. I would advocate these two maxims:1/ I will always set myself extremely ambitious goals.
These have to feel as if they are just not impossible, but very nearly so. For example, when I was at uni, I set myself the goal to qualify in the shortest time possible, pass mark "distinction" in all my subjects, and special commendation by the Dean on graduation. Ha ha yea right. I did not get that but the point is I am sure I got a better degree than I would have done had my goal been merely to achieve a "solid" degree.
2/ I will learn to deal with disappointment.
This is an important skill to learn if you subscribe to my first maxim. There is a danger in setting yourself ambitious targets and that is how to deal with setbacks if you do not meet them. Indeed, I believe fear of disappointment may be a crucial reason why people set themselves goals that are insufficiently stretching. But if you never try anything because you are afraid of failure, you will never see success (in whichever way you personally define this).
So these are two life-skills that i think will contribute to developing a well-adjusted, "happy" life. Both need to be managed, and it is an optimisation exercise. The first skill is to set goals which are "just not impossible", and the second one is to be "strong enough to fail".
I am not suggesting this is easy, by the way.
Thank you Mark, you have said beautifully. Much like in a communication context, our fears grow exponentially in the form of action-and-reaction. The person who acquiesces to failure from the beginning never tries and never fails. He cannot develop himself and his self-confidence. He stays behind when others make progress.
On the other hand, leaders and artists never escape their fears. To the contrary, they seek fear like an adrenaline addict. They constantly flog themselves to innovate and to experience and achieve what’s never been done before. They feel alive and feel proud of their work as they dance with the fear and push themselves to the edge.
Burc,I don't know any leaders or artists so cannot speak from experience what they may be like... Just to clarify, I was only referring to the "fear of failure", not to other fears that people may have in their lives, and I was also hoping to promote an entirely pragmatic view.
As an aside, I am finding equivalents to my two maxims in other spheres of life, too. Specifically, I am referring to finding a partner (girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse etc).
Here my first maxim would need to be adapted, of course, and would read something like "Do not settle for second-best". By this I mean not to stick with somebody who you can tell is not right for you. There is more to say on this subject, of course - importantly, how you can tell - but I leave this for another post somewhere...
My second maxim, however, remains unchanged. Rephrased as a skill, it would read "learn to be strong enough to be vulnerable". If you do not open up to somebody, you cannot find a meaningful relationship. Yes, you can also not be hurt, but again it is the fear of rejection and what it might do to you that can keep us from opening up to others.
But again, the lesson as I see it is not to open up to others blithely (and naively). The lesson is to discover who you are, to accept what you find, and develop confidence in yourself. Then, and only then, will we have the strength to set ourselves ambitious goals and open up to others.
Ok so that sounded a bit off topic, perhaps, but if I look around me, there do not seem to be that many truly natural ralationships... I am off my soap box now.
:-)
Im a newbie, excited to join because my favorite topics are self-help. I'm a Life Coach and Author, have a blog, publishing my 5th non-fiction book in 2015. I just wanted to add my perspective on how fear can hold us back. I'm a perfect example. I yearned to be an author since the 4th grade, but wouldn't let myself try until I had a master's degree. I thought somehow that would ligitamize me. I'm 50 now, and as I look back I see what a circuitous route I took, all because I didn't feel good enough to try. I think there's a lot of people like me who wouldn't let themselves have their dream because they were afraid of failure. Fear truly is our fiercest enemy.
What the mind can believe and conceive, it CAN achieve!
Nina wrote: "Im a newbie, excited to join because my favorite topics are self-help. I'm a Life Coach and Author, have a blog, publishing my 5th non-fiction book in 2015. I just wanted to add my perspective on h..."Seems that I would agree with that... :-) I think my maxim #2 comes in here: Learn to deal with disappointment (message 6) Once we do, we may be less fearful to follow our dreams. But follow our dreams we must. I think, anyway.
Very true! You are absolutely right!Quite often the impossible ... becomes quite possible.
GOOD LUCK!
Daniel Petra
In 1927, H.M Warner, owner of the famous Warner Brothers production company, said, “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” He thought there was no future for movies with sound.
Now let’s ask ourselves this question. If the predictions of insightful and experienced industry experts can fail, how healthy is it for us to conclude that our situation is impossible?
Edison made over 3,000 attempts to invent the light bulb. Stallone’s attempts to sell the script for his film “Rocky” were rejected around 1,500 times. What if Edison had tried 2,500 times and Stallone 1,400 times, and then concluded that the situation was hopeless and impossible? We wouldn’t know them at all, or in any case we would know them differently.
We have a natural tendency to think negatively in never-tried-before situations. We should get used to thinking positively about how we can achieve things, instead of how we cannot do them. We need to strip our mind of our and others’ glass ceilings, fears and anxieties. Only in this way can we make our subconscious mind an ally that constantly pushes us to achieve our goals.