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Help/Advice/Ideas! > I Also need Beta readers

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Kenneth stood on the ledge of the cliff looking down at the ghastly scene below. Below him stood an army of thousands. They were armed with heavy swords and big black spears. They had catapults which were being loaded. There armor was thick and their shields were broad. This army had one purpose. To destroy.
He sighed and looked back upon his own army. They numbered a mere 2 hundred, and were downtrodden and tired. He smiled sadly as he saw a young boy not older than 12 being taught how to hold a sword. He wished that it didn't have to end this way. So many of these people were to young to die. They deserved to live and grow old. He shook his head. He was their leader, he needed to be strong.
“Can we win” a voice asked from his right. He turned slowly to face his eldest brother, Allric. Allric was one year younger than Kenneth, but he was the smartest person Kenneth had ever known. Kenneth knew that Allric knew that they didn't stand a chance. He was just hoping that Kenneth would reassure him.
Kenneth turned away from the scared face of his brother. He had gotten injured two days ago, yet here he was ready to fight. Allric was never a fighter, he preferred peaceful solutions, he was tall and lanky and had preferred to read as a child rather than to practice sword-fighting like Kenneth. He looked so out of place with his skinny arms and glasses. He shouldn't have to fight, none of them should, Kenneth thought as he turned to look at his other brothers. Their faces were set and they had determination in their eyes. He wished so much that he could reassure them, that he could tell them that everything was going to be all right.
“I don't know,” He said honestly.
“They'll be expecting a speech, I'd advice you not to say that.” Another of Kenneth's brothers, Mervin, said trying to lighten the mood. Mervin was a joker through and through, unlike his twin Cedric who preferred to sit on the sidelines rather than participate in any of Mervin’s antics. Kenneth smiled slightly and shook his head. Then after a few more moments of silence a horn rang out.
Kenneth sighed, “The time has come” he said. Then he turned and faced the people who had fought with him through this whole big mess. He turned toward them and he knew he couldn't lie.
“I'm not going to lie to you,” He started, his voice causing the small army to look up from the ground to gaze upon their leader, “ are chances are slim.” At this point he paused and turned his back on them to gaze at the monstrosity below. “They have thousands and we number a mere 200. They have superior numbers, and superior weapons,” He paused and gazed upon the faces of his brothers standing next to him, “ but we have one thing they don't have. We have family and friends. We have homes and children. We unlike them, have something to fight for. So know I must ask of you what no leader should ever have to ask of his people. Will you fight with me?”
All at the once the army rose. A meager hope shone in their eyes, and all at once they didn't look so shabby and careworn anymore. Kenneth gave them a sad smile and before turning to face his brothers who stood along the ridge beside him. “You do not have to fight,” he said simply gazing at each one with love in his eyes.
“And let you have all the glory,” Kenneth's brother Mervin replied, “Not a chance”
Kenneth laughed and turned as his brothers unsheathed their swords. “For Draeden” they said.
“For Draeden” replied Kenneth as he to unsheathed his sword.

Any takers?

message 2: by sucre'd fiend (new)

sucre'd fiend (sucredfiend) | 9 comments Me?

message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

Sure, what is your e-mail or do you just want me to PM you

message 4: by sucre'd fiend (new)

sucre'd fiend (sucredfiend) | 9 comments RemedyWill@gmail.com

message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

sweet thanks I'll email you soonish

message 6: by Ravanna Dee (new)

Ravanna Dee (ravannadee) Wonderful writing!

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