Indie Authors Monthly Magazine For Authors and Readers discussion

A creation myth....

Comments Showing 1-6 of 6 (6 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Azaria (new)

Azaria Gerardo (bookflix) | 4 comments Hey guys,

I just wanted to get some feedback on my creation myth for one of the worlds I'm building. There are a few errors but please, no hate. Here it is;

In the beginning, all that lived was Chaos. And through Chaos, the rulers were born. Chaos gifted each of her children with a realm of their own. So one day, Enya, the first-born daughter woke up engulfed in flames. The next day, Anil, the first-born son, ventured out into the night captured in a ball of wind. On the third day, Evian, Chaos' youngest son, spent the day under the waters of Valarya. It was on the fourth day, when Chaos gifted her favorite child, Kaia. Kaia was the sweetest and most graceful of all the children. So when Kaia woke up that day, she hadn't expected to see all of Valarya in the palm of her hands.

Kaia loved her brothers and sister dearly, so she gifted each of them with a kingdom of their own. Kaia respected her mother, Chaos purely, so in the midst of all the kingdoms, she created land for a shrine for Chaos, and called the land Saari. Kaia then noticed that the world worked on a balance, so that it couldn't become too evil or too good. Kaia and her brothers and sister gathered, and each of them put people in their kingdoms. The Rulers decided to create the people to resemble their own image. Enya, the goddess of fire, gifted them with the abilities of fire, and called her people Nitrian. Named after her kingdom, Nitruh. Evian, the God of Water, gave his people abilities of water, and called them Astrilayan. Named after his kingdom, Astrilaya. Anil, the God of Air, gifted his people with abilities of Air and Wind. He called them Erisian, named after his kingdom, Eris. Finally, Kaia, the Goddess of Nature and the land of Valarya, gifted her people with abilities of Nature. She called them Amaranthian, named after her kingdom, Amarantha.

The Rulers then created Fauna to populate Valarya and bring even more beauty to the world. They then looked at the world and noticed that it was too good, which tipped the balance. Kaia realized that when the people were of old age and at death, they'd have no where to go after, so she told her Mother. Chaos then birthed her final child, Cade, the Spirit of the Afterlife. Kaia loved her brother, Cade, so she gifted him with land far away from Valarya. This land was his to reward and punish the people, after death. 

The Rulers then got back together, Cade included, and set the balance back to the world. Kaia created mountains to distance the people, and trees for animals to live. Enya created Dragons and hot deserts, that modeled her image. Evian created The Rift Sea to separate Saari from Valarya. Throughout Rift Sea, he created creatures to stop anyone from reaching and disturbing Saari. Anil, created oxegyn, so the people could breathe. He then gave wind to the people to cool them off. Finally, Cade decided that Saari needed to be populated in Chaos' image. So, he created beautiful men and woman who could predict the future and called them prophets. These prophets were immortal and only one could leave Saari to deliver the prophecies to the kingdoms. Cade then separated day and night, by gifting day with the suns and night with the moons. He then gave both day and night, creatures that would bless and haunt the land.

The Rulers looked at their creation and spectacled in their makings. They showed Chaos, their mother, what they created and she kissed the land, blessing it with Flora. The Rulers then selected a man and a woman in each of their kingdoms to become the king and queen of the kingdoms. The king and queen were expected to rule, keep justice intact, limit the people's magic, and birthe children to keep the line of the royal families going. Enya, Kaia, Evian, Anil, and Cade realized that their elements were all connected so they taught the people how to use the magic efficiently and with boundaries. The people were expected to pass their teachings to the future generations.

The people of each kingdom decided to build a shrine to their god/goddess. In Nitruh, for Enya, they dug a hole into Valarya and filled it with Magma and Fire. In Amarantha, for Kaia, the people created a huge forest, where they could worship Kaia freely. In Eris, for Anil, they changed the oxegyn into a sweet-smelling gas, here Anil would be intoxicated with happiness. In Astrilaya, for Evian, the people created The Aura Lake, where the water was as smooth and clear as starlight. Finally, the prophets on Saari built temples around their shrine of land to honor Chaos and her son, Cade. All was good and The Rulers knew. 

So after creating perfection, Cade distanced himself to where he would rule the afterlife and the remaining Rulers joined their mother, Chaos, and fell into a deep sleep. 

message 2: by Alyson (new)

Alyson Stone (alysonserenastone) | 194 comments This looks good to me. I think it would make a wonderful introduction to a book. :)

message 3: by Matt (new)

Matt Mangham | 1 comments I think it looks like a promising start, too. One thing you may want to give some thought too, though, is naming the God of Water Evian. Evian is actually a very widely sold brand of bottled water, and so it looks as though you're making a joke. Unless, of course, that's your intention. Just calls attention to itself.

message 4: by Azaria (new)

Azaria Gerardo (bookflix) | 4 comments Hahaha, I chose the name because I went to and was looking for names that meant water

message 5: by Azaria (new)

Azaria Gerardo (bookflix) | 4 comments Hahaha, I chose the name because I went to and was looking for names that meant water

message 6: by Len (new)

Len Robertson | 39 comments It has the aire of Spaceship Earth: everything focused on one little planet.

The reality: there are more planets than stars in the galaxy. There are more galaxies in the Universe than there are planets in the galaxy. There may be more universes than there are galaxies.

God exists. The Bhagavad Gita says God is 100 billion years old. What is God: a being, the oldest civilization, an existence we don't yet have a word for.

Organic life didn't originate on Earth. Organic life originated elsewhere and has been spreading across the galaxy in a chain reaction of colossal proportions. It's entirely possible that organic life is as old as God and for good reason.

How soon before we prove all this: not in this millennium.

The downside to all this: it's not as much fun as all the origins based on a single planet in the Cosmos.

back to top


Indie Authors Monthly Magazine For Authors and...

unread topics | mark unread