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message 1: by T (new)

T V Williams (tvbagwell) | 12 comments My editor has pointed out that I have a point of view shift. Is there a way of putting what that person wants to say by not openly expressing their feelings in the beginning?


message 2: by G.G. (new)

G.G. (ggatcheson) I think you may have to give us a little bit more info. Things such as in which POV is the story written and how does it shift? By expressing something the main POV shouldn't have known or by hopping heads? Or...


message 3: by T (new)

T V Williams (tvbagwell) | 12 comments The main POV shouldn't have known and the other character is thinking it. Unless I make the other character outspoken about his feelings and thank you for responding.


message 4: by G.G. (new)

G.G. (ggatcheson) ok, from what I see, your character knows something he/she shouldn't have because that person didn't say it. Depending on what it is, you could try 'showing' it. For example, your main character may not know the other is nervous, but might guess it due to certain gestures, such as fidgeting, or he/she could notice an abnormal amount of sweat, which then could lead your protagonist to a conclusion. A liar wouldn't be able to look at the other and keep the stare. They'd look away. A grimace at what someone said may reveal that they don't like what was said, and so forth.

Again, knowing more about what's not being said could help us give you ideas.


message 5: by T (new)

T V Williams (tvbagwell) | 12 comments thank you very much! that helps a lot!


message 6: by G.G. (new)

G.G. (ggatcheson) glad it helped :)


message 7: by T (new)

T V Williams (tvbagwell) | 12 comments Yes. Now my next questions is..The POV has to switch if the person doesn't know she is being watch. I put a short paragraph explaining that. What if I make a new chapter?


message 8: by G.G. (new)

G.G. (ggatcheson) First of, what POV are you using?
Maybe writing in an omniscient POV would solve your problem?


message 9: by Barbara (new)

Barbara Tarn (barbaragtarn) T.V. wrote: "Yes. Now my next questions is..The POV has to switch if the person doesn't know she is being watch. I put a short paragraph explaining that. What if I make a new chapter?"

or a new scene. Or skip a line to show a change of POV. Omniscient is also a solution, but apparently lately it's not very popular! ;)
If you change POV often in the story (like, you have 2 or more POV) skip a line every time you switch "head"...


message 10: by K.D. (new)

K.D. McQuain (kd_mcquain) | 3 comments G.G. wrote: "First of, what POV are you using?
Maybe writing in an omniscient POV would solve your problem?"


Third person omniscient allows the reader to know what's going on in all the characters heads without the characters themselves knowing.


message 11: by G.G. (new)

G.G. (ggatcheson) K.D. wrote: "G.G. wrote: "First of, what POV are you using?
Maybe writing in an omniscient POV would solve your problem?"

Third person omniscient allows the reader to know what's going on in all the characters..."


That's why I said it could solve the problem.


message 12: by Hock (new)

Hock Tjoa (hockgtjoa) | 10 comments I recently experimented with changing points of view by marking clearly when it happens--a new chapter, putting new POV in italics, separating POVs by

***

my editor was okay with all three but the proof-reader added a paragraph break before and after the ***


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