The Four Agreements
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Life changing.
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Deborah
(last edited Aug 25, 2016 10:56AM)
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Apr 02, 2007 10:55AM

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that's true. but now you know more. It also made me think, "I can't belive I was doing things i didn't have to do.


That too!

I worry a lot about that statement. When we critique others behaviors because it is oppressive and limiting to our own personal freedom, we are speaking to their personal behavior. Allowing others to simply shift the blame onto the individual passing the critique is really destructive. Such things as sexism, homophobia, racism and classism are all things that need to be confronted within our current culture. If people can simply flip it around and blame it on someone else, the oppressive cycles will just continue.
Any thoughts?

If a person embraces all of the "isms" you list without acting on them what damage is done unless someone takes them personally. If someone criticizes my lifestyle, I can receive it as feedback and I can accept or reject it as I see fit. Any harm done may be only because I take the criticism personally. Actions taken to restrict or alter my lifestyle is distinct from a critique of my lifestyle. A person with one or all of the "isms" you list has a problem in my opinion, not the person they are judging.






I thought that at first but the more I studied it I realized it is about how we react to others and once you quit taking things personally, realizing you cannot change others perception it really can help! It is not about blaming, just realizing that they make their judgement of you based on their beliefs. Their judgement of you is not you, just their view!


I think that the key to the book is just that, putting the 4 simple agreements in practice. For me it was more about the journey after I started to do just that!

*Don't take anything personal* was so profound to me, I wrote it on my mirror. The more I have lived by this, the more I see its wisdom. This is so true and very freeing when lived each day.


Tis true ! If we don't take things personally why would we want to keep up with the Jones, and how would Marketing departments ( I use to work in one) convince us to buy more stuff we don't need and that won't make us happy.


I don't see in any harm in silently protecting yourself from backlash but more importantly it isn't about throwing it back to them. The author was helping us to understand why people may seem like they are trying to hurt us. By offering some insight into people's behaviors allows us to better cope with certain situations that often hurt us but probably shouldn't. Words can even leave scars that eventually overtime turn into wounds that take years of unraveling and therapy.
After reading the book I noticed how much truth there was in it. I have found when applying this to real life ....it really makes sense. Contrary to your point about turning the tables and creating even more controversy and "isms"; having the ability to identify and apply this concept in real life has caused me to react much less defensively, especially in times when I normally might feel like I was being verbally attacked or threatened i.e. "taking it personally"
By understanding what the other person may be feeling allows us to be more compassionate. This type of unexpected reaction immediately puts out their fire (and sometimes shocks them a bit)
In reality this has the opposite effect of what you mentioned..at least for me it does. But the trick is remembering this in those moments and really believing in it.

You are so right about how it was meant to be taken. I was a bit skeptical at first but it was amazing when I quit making the assumptions and taking things personally. I get a kick out of seeing how others find the change in me. I realized that some people just like to push your buttons and when you no longer are taking anything personally it really bugs them. But in the long run they quit trying to do it so everyone is better off!

the more you practice living by the agreements, the easier everything becomes!




You could look at it as a learning experience rather than a mistake. I know I do.

You could look at it as a learning experience rather than a mistake. ..."
I agree, it helped to show me that we are meant to make mistakes in order to learn!

That is a beautiful way to look at it. I agree :-)

That is a beautiful way to look at it. I agree :-)"
why thank you Joyce that's because i speak from the heart.


the more you practice living by the agreements, the easier everything becomes!"
Well said...I love "spiritual maturity" What a great thing to acquire.

Yes!


I just made it a practice to think of everything in my day and ask if I was assuming anything. I started noticing that we all seem to make constant assumptions! I started asking questions and never taking things personally. I am still practicing because it is something big for me to change, but I love that so much changed for me with that one agreement!

Both the Ten Commandments and The Four Agreements guide us to integrity. Being mindful keeps us on the correct path. For me, being mindful is about integrity: the integrity of being fully in the moment, in the “here and now,” of bringing our best self to every situation. The more we do this, the more we contribute to creating a richer, happier life for ourselves and the more we are contributing to THE UNIVERSE.

http://pothi.com/pothi/book/sunny-pal...
Similarly like Four Agreements - provides new..."
Thanks there are many books that do the same. I think one just has to be at the place in their life to understand it when they read it.

Its exciting for me to find things that resonate as truth from many old sources like the information contained in these books.

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