The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom The Four Agreements discussion


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Life changing.

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message 1: by Deborah (last edited Aug 25, 2016 10:56AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Deborah This book will have you questioning, who am I really? Loaded with wisdom and peace.


message 2: by A (last edited Aug 25, 2016 10:58AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

A Not exactly, because based on this book before we can reach to the ability to realise who we are, we should free up ourselves. It means that at first we change ourselves then we will be able to say who we are. Then It will say who we will be , not who we are.


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

that's true. but now you know more. It also made me think, "I can't belive I was doing things i didn't have to do.


Glenn A person can be aware of being bound up, living by someone else's values without knowing who they are. I think Ruiz is suggesting ways remove the bonds in order to live in our own truth.


Glenn Wynie wrote: "The best thing I got from this book is that whatever a person does or says to you may not be about you at all. But rather about their own issues. So don't take anything personally!"

That too!


message 6: by lynze (new)

lynze Glenn wrote: "Wynie wrote: "The best thing I got from this book is that whatever a person does or says to you may not be about you at all. But rather about their own issues. So don't take anything personally!"..."

I worry a lot about that statement. When we critique others behaviors because it is oppressive and limiting to our own personal freedom, we are speaking to their personal behavior. Allowing others to simply shift the blame onto the individual passing the critique is really destructive. Such things as sexism, homophobia, racism and classism are all things that need to be confronted within our current culture. If people can simply flip it around and blame it on someone else, the oppressive cycles will just continue.

Any thoughts?




Glenn lynze wrote: "Glenn wrote: "Wynie wrote: "The best thing I got from this book is that whatever a person does or says to you may not be about you at all. But rather about their own issues. So don't take anythin..."

If a person embraces all of the "isms" you list without acting on them what damage is done unless someone takes them personally. If someone criticizes my lifestyle, I can receive it as feedback and I can accept or reject it as I see fit. Any harm done may be only because I take the criticism personally. Actions taken to restrict or alter my lifestyle is distinct from a critique of my lifestyle. A person with one or all of the "isms" you list has a problem in my opinion, not the person they are judging.


Laurie Excellent! Laymens terms, easy to understand. Anyone could benefit from this book. Will be reading it often to straighten out my head! lol


message 9: by Teri (new) - added it

Teri Dluznieski this book goes a long way toward simplifying the way we live our lives. We, as a species, tend to over-complicate things and chase down alleys, trying to figure out meaning and nuance and get caught up in all kinds of drama/s. This book helps us find a way out of that maze, without having to run through the entire maze of our lives. It enables the reader to step out of the maze, with the realisation and insight that the maze is of their own making and design: a contractual agreement, as it were:) Once we step out of that- Life can be seen through very basic principals, without the drama, without carrying the world with us- which makes the journey much lighter. There are other books I could also recommend, but this is one of the top on the list of spiritual references:)


Joanne I did not like this book at all. It's "Do Unto others, etc." all gussied up to sell.


message 11: by Sophia (new) - added it

Sophia simple and profound truth


message 12: by Judy (new) - rated it 5 stars

Judy Fireman I love this book and think everyone should keep it in front of them at all times


Jacqueline Howett The best. A positive easy, simple comprehension. I come away happy after reading Miquel. I have read most of his books and have loved them all. The are great books to have by your bedside, to just read a line or two.


message 14: by Lauren (last edited Jul 24, 2012 08:10AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Lauren This book was life-changing for me, especially the part about forgetting old habits and everything I've been taught. Just because something has been pounded into my brain from an early age doesn't mean it's true or right for ME. I had always questioned our religion, and this book is what made me realize that my doubt was for good reason. I started learning about other beliefs that were much better suited to my true self. I recommend this book for EVERYONE.


Joyce It was also life changing for me. I read it often and always find something new that it reminds me. Not taking things personally was huge for me. It has me seeing how myself and others make way too many assumptions and act on them instead of realizing that we may not have all the facts. I don't know why I didn't understand it before I read this book, maybe I was just ready to "get it" when I picked this one up!!


message 16: by Joyce (last edited Jul 25, 2012 06:16AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Joyce Glenn wrote: "lynze wrote: "Glenn wrote: "Wynie wrote: "The best thing I got from this book is that whatever a person does or says to you may not be about you at all. But rather about their own issues. So don'..."
I thought that at first but the more I studied it I realized it is about how we react to others and once you quit taking things personally, realizing you cannot change others perception it really can help! It is not about blaming, just realizing that they make their judgement of you based on their beliefs. Their judgement of you is not you, just their view!


Dianne Simple Concepts but not easy to put into practice ! I've struggled with putting these Four Agreements into practice for years. They are a wonderful guideline for life.


Joyce Dianne wrote: "Simple Concepts but not easy to put into practice ! I've struggled with putting these Four Agreements into practice for years. They are a wonderful guideline for life."
I think that the key to the book is just that, putting the 4 simple agreements in practice. For me it was more about the journey after I started to do just that!


message 19: by Gary (new) - rated it 5 stars

Gary Liked this book when i read it about 6yrs ago...seeing it here reminds me i need to revisit it.


Alecia Glenn wrote: "Wynie wrote: "The best thing I got from this book is that whatever a person does or says to you may not be about you at all. But rather about their own issues. So don't take anything personally!"..."

*Don't take anything personal* was so profound to me, I wrote it on my mirror. The more I have lived by this, the more I see its wisdom. This is so true and very freeing when lived each day.


Joyce Alecia wrote: "Glenn wrote: "Wynie wrote: "The best thing I got from this book is that whatever a person does or says to you may not be about you at all. But rather about their own issues. So don't take anythin..."Profound is the way I felt too! It seems that we are almost taught to take things personally, all the ads etc. reinforce that everything is personal. It takes practice to open our minds and realize the freedom of this one!


Dianne Joyce wrote: Profound is the way I felt too! It seems that we are almost taught to take things personally, all the ads etc. reinforce that everything is personal.

Tis true ! If we don't take things personally why would we want to keep up with the Jones, and how would Marketing departments ( I use to work in one) convince us to buy more stuff we don't need and that won't make us happy.


Jennifer Kading Really fantastic Book! I also found it to be very profound. Even though the agreements themselves are somewhat simple concepts - the reasoning behind them and the ideas that were presented for each one really made you think. This book should be read over and over again. I got twice as much from it the second time as I did the first. I must read more books by this author.


message 24: by Jennifer (last edited Nov 10, 2012 09:33PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jennifer Kading Glenn wrote: "Wynie wrote: "The best thing I got from this book is that whatever a person does or says to you may not be about you at all. But rather about their own issues. So don't take anything personally!"..."

I don't see in any harm in silently protecting yourself from backlash but more importantly it isn't about throwing it back to them. The author was helping us to understand why people may seem like they are trying to hurt us. By offering some insight into people's behaviors allows us to better cope with certain situations that often hurt us but probably shouldn't. Words can even leave scars that eventually overtime turn into wounds that take years of unraveling and therapy.

After reading the book I noticed how much truth there was in it. I have found when applying this to real life ....it really makes sense. Contrary to your point about turning the tables and creating even more controversy and "isms"; having the ability to identify and apply this concept in real life has caused me to react much less defensively, especially in times when I normally might feel like I was being verbally attacked or threatened i.e. "taking it personally"

By understanding what the other person may be feeling allows us to be more compassionate. This type of unexpected reaction immediately puts out their fire (and sometimes shocks them a bit)

In reality this has the opposite effect of what you mentioned..at least for me it does. But the trick is remembering this in those moments and really believing in it.


Joyce Jennifer wrote: "Glenn wrote: "Wynie wrote: "The best thing I got from this book is that whatever a person does or says to you may not be about you at all. But rather about their own issues. So don't take anythin..."

You are so right about how it was meant to be taken. I was a bit skeptical at first but it was amazing when I quit making the assumptions and taking things personally. I get a kick out of seeing how others find the change in me. I realized that some people just like to push your buttons and when you no longer are taking anything personally it really bugs them. But in the long run they quit trying to do it so everyone is better off!


Cheryl Edwards This is a great book! Hard to live by. But, well worth trying to.


Joyce Cheryl wrote: "This is a great book! Hard to live by. But, well worth trying to."

the more you practice living by the agreements, the easier everything becomes!


message 28: by T.C. (new) - rated it 4 stars

T.C. Spellen This is a great, life changing book. I used the Four Agreements as a guide in a prayer group I coordinated. The agreements helped us to be aware of our behavior and help us to remain on the right path to personal and spiritual maturity.


message 29: by CC (new) - rated it 5 stars

CC This is the first book of its kind that I picked up which began my odyssey of reading other books like it.


Chantal Jolicoeur such an amazing book, it changed my life and outlook on things. it teaches you thats its ok to make mistakes.


message 31: by Ada (new) - rated it 5 stars

Ada Chantal wrote: "such an amazing book, it changed my life and outlook on things. it teaches you thats its ok to make mistakes."

You could look at it as a learning experience rather than a mistake. I know I do.


Joyce Ada wrote: "Chantal wrote: "such an amazing book, it changed my life and outlook on things. it teaches you thats its ok to make mistakes."

You could look at it as a learning experience rather than a mistake. ..."

I agree, it helped to show me that we are meant to make mistakes in order to learn!


Antonio this book is a gateway to having heaven on earth.


Joyce Antonio wrote: "this book is a gateway to having heaven on earth."

That is a beautiful way to look at it. I agree :-)


message 35: by Antonio (last edited Jul 14, 2013 01:52AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Antonio Joyce wrote: "Antonio wrote: "this book is a gateway to having heaven on earth."

That is a beautiful way to look at it. I agree :-)"


why thank you Joyce that's because i speak from the heart.


Cheryl Simple, straightforward, and it hit me square in the center. I was able to release so much and accept the transformation that was waiting to envelope me. I have given away so many copies to family, friends, acquaintances. Thank you, Don Miguel.


Jennifer Kading Joyce wrote: "Cheryl wrote: "This is a great book! Hard to live by. But, well worth trying to."

the more you practice living by the agreements, the easier everything becomes!"


Well said...I love "spiritual maturity" What a great thing to acquire.


Deborah Glenn wrote: "Wynie wrote: "The best thing I got from this book is that whatever a person does or says to you may not be about you at all. But rather about their own issues. So don't take anything personally!"..."
Yes!


message 39: by Gael (new) - rated it 5 stars

Gael MacGregor Profound in its utter simplicity... on the surface, simple, but in practice, can be difficult! Especially hard for me are to not assume or take things personally. Still working on those!


Joyce Gael wrote: "Profound in its utter simplicity... on the surface, simple, but in practice, can be difficult! Especially hard for me are to not assume or take things personally. Still working on those!"
I just made it a practice to think of everything in my day and ask if I was assuming anything. I started noticing that we all seem to make constant assumptions! I started asking questions and never taking things personally. I am still practicing because it is something big for me to change, but I love that so much changed for me with that one agreement!


Steven Fogel Ruiz’s four agreements help us learn how to not steal from ourselves. Being impeccable with our word, not taking anything personally, and not making assumptions all equate to not stealing the truth by letting our fear of abandonment lead us to inaccurate conclusions by misinterpreting other people’s words or actions. As Ruiz puts it, not making assumptions helps us “avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.” Always doing our best means not stealing our own true power and potential. When we do our best, we are doing all we can to accomplish our goals and benefit the lives of others, and, as Ruiz points out, this helps us avoid making ourselves susceptible to judging ourselves for doing less than our best.



Both the Ten Commandments and The Four Agreements guide us to integrity. Being mindful keeps us on the correct path. For me, being mindful is about integrity: the integrity of being fully in the moment, in the “here and now,” of bringing our best self to every situation. The more we do this, the more we contribute to creating a richer, happier life for ourselves and the more we are contributing to THE UNIVERSE.


message 42: by Gauri (new)

Gauri Self limiting belief system is aptly discussed in the following new book :

http://pothi.com/pothi/book/sunny-pal...

Similarly like Four Agreements - provides new ways towards self freedom.........


Joyce Gauri wrote: "Self limiting belief system is aptly discussed in the following new book :

http://pothi.com/pothi/book/sunny-pal...

Similarly like Four Agreements - provides new..."


Thanks there are many books that do the same. I think one just has to be at the place in their life to understand it when they read it.


message 44: by Nils (new) - rated it 4 stars

Nils Lantz I like many here found the book inspirational, it helped me avoid much of my unnecessary pain and frustrations, I have recently read "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" by Eckhart Tolle and listened to the "Out of your mind" audio lectures by Alan Watts and recommend them to all who enjoyed "The four agreements".
Its exciting for me to find things that resonate as truth from many old sources like the information contained in these books.


Sonja I loved this book!! I re-read it and refer to it and practice the agreements. It is helping my life immensely. Reminding myself to always do my best even when I feel my worst. Not taking things personally and making assumptions is a work in progress but reminding myself to always be impeccable with my word is hard as I tend to be my worst critic but each day remind myself to keep working and practicing these agreements. I have given this book to friends and had my husband read it and it has helped grow our relationship. I love all of Don Miguel and his sons' books and am looking forward to his new book coming out next month


Niara I really enjoyed this book. I haven't followed any of agreements yet, but I definitely plan too. I know this going to be very difficult. The hardest agreement for me to stick with will probably be "Being Impeccable with your word. "


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