2nd Draft Chapter One ADVICE PLEASE

[Trey]

Hello, people. First novel, chapter one, draft two is complete and I am calling for your help. I need some honest thoughts and criticism. Please don't pull your punches. I need the brutal true, its the only way I can learn. There may be some grammar errors and typos, they will be buffed out in draft three. The link to the doc is below.


https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxGf...