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Authors helping writers > DESCRIPTIVE WRITING - WHEN IS IT TOO MUCH?

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message 1: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Forster (rebeccaforster) | 59 comments That's a tough question. I am a fan of descriptive writing but I write thrillers so my criteria is this: does the descriptive writing add to plot, characterization or conflict. If it doesn't, it's out of there no matter how brilliant I think it is LOL.


message 2: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Forster (rebeccaforster) | 59 comments You're welcome. It took 29 years - 25 of them being beat up by New York editors and more than a few being beat up by a freelance editor I use - to have all that knocked into my skull. Oh, the other criteria for descriptive passages and dialogue - if my own eyes cross after 2 pages I've done something wrong LOL


message 3: by Carol (new)

Carol Bro (cjbro) | 8 comments It all depends on its placement. I enjoy some descriptive background, but right at the apex of a suspenseful or dramatic scene is not the place to pull back and insert a paragraph about what the protagonist is wearing, or her difficult childhood. That's just going to make me mad. You'd be surprised how many authors do this!

I don't mind a little "stage direction" myself. A simple statement can be read in so many different ways. "Tell me about it," for instance. Did she say it sarcastically? Was she sympathizing with the person? Was she demanding an explanation? Ideally, the reader can tell from the context, but if not, if the author can't SHOW me the inflection, I don't mind a little hint: "Tell me about it," she said with an air of resignation.

Description, in the right places, and if not overused, adds flavor and depth to a story.


message 4: by Mike (new)

Mike Robbins (mikerobbins) | 3 comments I think Rebecca is right. Does it add to the story? I have read books with far too much description, but not often with too little.
The best piece of descriptive writing I ever read was in an Anita Brookner book set in London during summer. It was the first sentence of a chapter, and said, I think: "The evening was livid and smelled of drains." Perfect!


message 5: by Evelyn (new)

Evelyn (evetid) | 12 comments I liked the blog and thought it was right on the nail. How often I have given up on a book because the descriptions were too lengthy. I tend to write with no descriptions to start with, and add them in on the edits. I am far more interested in the action and dialogue, but I don't want my characters acting out on a blank stage! So some description is vital to the story, but I keep it as brief as possible, just to set the scene or describe what the main character is seeing or observing.


message 6: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Porter (trolltails) | 8 comments I don't want my characters acting out on a blank stage!
How True Evelyn.

this is my struggle: I've been bashed for too much dialogue and not enough context, and yet I edit out much of the description to keep within the dogma of show not tell.

In the end, I try to set up each scene or chapter with some description, but rarely more than a single paragraph, then I quickly move to the action or dialogue.

When I read, I crave some description, and I have stopped reading books that had none. If I can't orient myself (especially in fantasy as I write), I put it down.

So does genre make a difference in regards to this question?


message 7: by Bobby (new)

Bobby Nelson | 3 comments You might find some patterns of doing it this way or that way within certain genres.....but I would stay away from that.

What if you found that, okay, in some crime novels for instance, there's minimal description and heavy dialogue (like an Elmore Leonard novel)....but in a romance novel maybe there's tons of lush description...
So what? Why must you take your cue from those patterns that are already in place?

Why not a crime novel that paints its hard boiled characters like a Merchant Ivory film? Why not write a romance novel with minimal description and rapid fire dialogue. Shake it up, shake it up.

You've articulated quite well what YOU enjoy as a reader and how you try to work that into your writing.

So, I say you are on the right track. There are no rules.


message 8: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 26 comments On that same note, how much do we need to describe the characters? I am pretty good at developing their their personalities without ever knowing what color their hair is :) In fact, unless nudged by a reader/editor, I'm apt to completely skip physical descriptions of people.


message 9: by Bobby (new)

Bobby Nelson | 3 comments You and prolific crime fiction writer Elmore Leonard are on the same page when it comes to that. 8 ))

I'm still new to writing, and I haven't really found my way with that. I like your idea of just skipping it altogether. Unless of course there's some specific thing that matters to the story...Like if there's a character who is supposed to have massive sex appeal, it might be good to pick one primary physical thing and beat that drum a couple of times.

One thing I read in a craft article on litreactor that I really, really liked was this..and I'm paraphrasing here... don't give an inventory list of the physical characteristics. Instead, create noun-verb combinations that bring those physical characteristics to life.

For instance. Instead of saying "Jarod had a high school letter jacket he still wore every day.", you could say "His high school letter jacket drew looks when he entered the cafe."

See, i put the Jacket instead of Jarod in charge of the sentence.

Another thing I like to do when it comes to physical description is to bury the descriptors in the prose.

For instance. Instead of saying Gena had sandy blonde hair.....you could say "Devon ran his fingers through her sandy blonde hair."

Hope that helps.


message 10: by Evelyn (new)

Evelyn (evetid) | 12 comments I was about to make a similar comment, Bobby when I realised you had done it for me. Rather than paragraphs of description, I prefer to spatter the description through the action and dialogue.

This is the first few paragraphs from my novel Gentleman of Fortune The Adventures of Bartholomew Roberts, Pirate.

Leaning on the gunwale, Bartholomew Roberts arched his back to ease aching muscles and cursed. He could blame no-one but himself for his relegation to the veritable dog’s berth of third mate. The sailors’ servant they called it, neither man nor officer, but a creature at the whim of both, expected to have some control over the men, yet at the same time climbing the yards and hauling on ropes.
‘Get those blacks below, Mr. Roberts!’
Wearily he straightened up, lifted his old black hat and combed spread fingers through sweat-soaked black curls. The deck was a jumble of crates, casks, ropes, cages, sacks and bundles, and the men worked to get them stacked in the hold. They had worked since sun up without a break to bring them aboard, ivory and gold dust, skins and tobacco, provisions and water, as well as live pigs and chickens. But it was the sorry-looking group of native Africans standing near the helm that made him curse again.
They were males, chained in pairs by the ankles, their naked oiled bodies glistening in the stark glare of the African sun like polished oak. They brought the stench of the holding cells from the castle with them, an acrid ammoniac odour of stale urine, dirt and decay that seemed to ooze from their skin, and upon their faces the blank hopeless stare of the African slave.
From beside him, the captain’s voice goaded him quietly. ‘Come on, Mr. Roberts, get on with it.’
Captain Plumb turned away, strolling aft to the taffrail and Roberts began the task of checking the slaves, peering at teeth and skin for sores or other signs of illness while they stood quietly submissive. A single case of smallpox would decimate cargo and crew in a few days. He made each one cough while he checked for rupture and then passed them all as fit. Nodding to young John Jessup waiting beside him, he said, ‘Get them below.’ He was always relieved to get them off the deck and into the hold, for their presence disturbed him.
‘Mr. Roberts!’ The captain’s voice reached him above the squeal of block and tackle and the sing-out calls of the sailors keeping the rhythm of the pull.

www.evelyntidmanauthor.com


message 11: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Porter (trolltails) | 8 comments Agreed. I like to leave much of the character's physical characteristics up to the reader. Of course, I add tidbits to help such as one female character is often pushing her hair out of her face, or another crumple down into her cloak. It's always interesting when I ask my beta readers what a character looks like and they all describe someone different. I think that is a win, at least as long as they can easily come up with that description. If they struggle, I add more.


message 12: by Dixie (new)

Dixie Goode (pandorasecho) | 4 comments When they don't matter, I don't describe things like race, for example my main character in one series, Duffy Barkley, is 9 and uses crutches and is thin and somewhat twisted due to cerebral palsy but I never say what race he is, hoping more kids can relate. However when I have two girls communicating across 152 years on the Oregon trail, and one is with a younger brother who is fascinated by "Wild Indians" but is herself terrified of "savages," and the other girl is of Sioux descent, and that is a very important part of the story, then I try to let the details slip in during the action.


message 13: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 26 comments Good stuff here. I've been working on slipping in a few of those "organic" comments that show a bit of what someone looks like. One of my beta readers (the one actually in my 4th-grade target audience) commented that she'd like to know so I tossed in a bit of hair color, and something else made me realize that OF COURSE Halitor would have a cowlick that never lies down. . . I'm not sure I'm getting that last worked in really; it would make a good standing joke but might be too much to change.

But for the most part, I seem to be better at dialog than anything else.


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